posted December 08, 2005 05:39 AM         

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVOURITE......

posted December 08, 2005 09:42 AM         

I was having this same conversation with my brother the other day.

posted December 08, 2005 09:55 AM         

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The arm of the condemned is swabbed with alcohol before the needle is inserted. Along with its antiseptic use, the alcohol also causes the blood vessels to rise to the skin's surface, making it easier to insert the needle. [1] The needles and equipment used are also sterilized, though this is because they are standard medical products that are sterilized during manufacturing. There is also a chance that the prisoner could receive a stay of execution after the needles have been inserted as happened in the case of James Autry in October 1983 (he was executed eventually on 14 March 1984). Also it would be a hazard for those handling the equipment

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quote:

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Glues or adhesives tend to work in one of three basic ways:

Some work by “drying” out (in fact the solvent evaporates, concentrating the chemicals).
Some work by reacting chemically with the air (oxidation) to change the chemicals into adhesives.
Then there are other types you may have used which need mixing in two parts (each part alone won’t set).

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posted December 08, 2005 12:14 PM         

guess what , yours fav is mine too !!

quote:

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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

I was having this same conversation with my brother the other day.

(he never did answer)

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HOW WOULD HE ? all brothers are apes to thier sisters .

even my sisters think of me as an ape , if not an ape , a joker !!!!!

posted December 08, 2005 12:36 PM         

cancer: You put a completely different spin on it.

posted December 08, 2005 07:11 PM         

thanks for that clarification!!!

Johnny,

You may still put a cute smiley and an "lol"
i love both of those..

Fayte,

Your most welcome..and in fact i know im the 1 outta the 4!!! hahahaha..

These we just from an email i got..made me giggle..hoped would do the same for some knowflakes...

I love giggling too!!

Actually my favs were:

quote:

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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

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quote:

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Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

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posted December 09, 2005 01:04 AM         

Yep 1 girl..and i think your right!!
5 boys are tiring but not as difficult!!

posted December 09, 2005 02:02 AM         

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Because there is a little bit of Aries in all of us

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Because they’re banks.. They rip you off.. It’s what they do

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because the stars won’t leave permanent marks and because there is a lil bit of Aquarius in all of us

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
It doesn’t like the bottle. They have an age old argument going. The glue still wants custody of the tomato juice

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Because it’d be too much trouble to make a new law that states “sterilized needles should be used in all cases except for people who are scheduled for death by lethal injection” jk

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Santa stole it! Tarzan cried. Tarzan not happy. Jane kiss Tarzan. Tarzan forget all about it. Tarzan happy now.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
He’s only part Super.. He still has “Man” instincts lol I know this because he told me

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case it rains with frogs….. no….. *really* - innocently crosses her fingers hee

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? Someone who positively hates Shawn Connery

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
They’re the leftovers.. The ones who didn’t evolve.. The *retarded* of the ape world ..if you will

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
I think *that* would be because you’re colour blind jk

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yup, Kirday, the day that comes after Sunday – before Monday

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Because there is a little bit of Pisces in all of us.. people are hope*fool* dreamers

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
You gotta be fair to the vacuum.. the vacuum has feelings too

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
They’re prudes those plastic bags..

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
They’re not dead when they get there.. that’s where they die. These bugs are suicidal, which is still legal in Insectopia unfortunately

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Because there is a little bit of Libra in all of us..

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Because there is a little bit of Sag in all of us as well lol

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Because we always want what we can’t have.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because all they ever do is sleep jk

posted December 10, 2005 02:22 AM         

"When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"