posted March 01, 2006 03:51 AM         

I gave my first board exam and the day started off so bad. Basically the reading time is 9:15 AM, I left home at 8:30 AM to reach school early. Normally it takes like 15 minutes to reach school by car. But today there was loads of traffic, and my mom was driving and she's very slow. I was revising for my english language exam in the car, while she was going on and on complaining telling me its my fault that I didn't go early and that if she would've gone by another road, it would be better and my mom is a worrywart, she goes on and on about the worst possible conclusions and then she says that this all is happening because I don't believe in god. I do believe in god. But not her kind of God, not those silly rituals you've to do, in our religion the god is always male, females are always the servants or whatever, and there's more but thats not the point. And I kind of panicked, because there was so much traffic, and I wanted to reach school on time. The school called my mom and enquired about me and they made it out to be like it was the most serious issue in the world, and I made it in about time. Well like 9:10 AM and my teacher was kind of disappointed at me, she wanted to talk to my mom and I went into the examination hall.
I panicked like hell, I wanted to cry, but I tried hard not to. I tried to focus on the paper but images of seeing my teacher complain to my clueless mom kind of made me feel guilty. The paper went ok, I made such silly mistakes, and I could've improved and such, I couldn't complete my essay in the end. Everyone seemed to be calm and everyone arrived early. Its only me who arrived late and I felt so odd.
And now I feel scared, I feel really nervous, and its really bad because I should be concentrating on my next exam. On the way home when my sister picked me up to drop me home, I was trying my level best not to cry. Whenever tears fell, I tried to scratch my eyes to remove them so she wouldn't notice it. These exams are so important. The whole school sees your marks. Plus one of my good friends got really good marks last term in board exams and I'll probably be looked upon as inferior or summat. Well everyone talks about how it is important and I just screwed it up. I feel like a complete failure. I don't know what to do to calm me down, because I need to revise for my next exam. I think I'm getting a headache. I can't stop crying and I'm beginning to effect my family around me. I'm in such a grumpy mood, I'm screaming at all of them and I feel so guilty.

So any advise for calming down? or anything?

posted March 01, 2006 09:36 AM         

I know exactly how you feel. And to have a loved one kick you while you’re down is adding serious insult to injury .

But trust me, some people shout to show their love ( is she an air sign? ). Otherwise she wouldn’t bother caring so much and upsetting herself too. She must love you and is passionate about showing it.
You probably did a lot better than you think, have faith in yourself

posted March 01, 2006 08:51 PM         

I have a Cappy friend who works with me. Recently she took her final exams to graduate, and she came to work every day that week freaking out: "I did SOOOOOO bad, I couldn't answer the 10-point question, I wrote a bunch of dumb stuff for the essay, I just KNOW I've blown the test!!!" And she ACED every one of her tests

You *survived* your testing, and even if you were disappointed in yourself, what really happened is that you triumphed!! You faced the issue, you did your best, and now you move on to the next challenge with that one under your belt

Don't sweat it because everyone sees the test results. Who are they to judge you by your test results as "inferior" or "a failure", anyway?!? And really, what's the worst that could happen??? You did your best, and none of us could do better than that. Spoil yourself now -- I just bet you'll get a super grade!!

PS: As a mom, I don't condone this advice generally, but: Tune Out Your Mom!!

posted March 05, 2006 11:18 PM         

everything's just gonna be fine !

here's a big {{{HUG}}} from me !

posted March 06, 2006 03:41 AM         

I was studying.

Well my exams were awesome, but the weird thing is, everything has reserved, my easy subjects have difficult exams, and my tough subjects went great. But I loved my exams . It was great.

Thanks aqua :hugs: yeah they put loads of pressure on you :S.

Hey Zala, I love your advice, and thanks I really appreciate it. I've learnt how to tune out my mom. Yeah probably I might get good marks, I do make a big deal sometimes, but sometimes those suspicions kind of seem true in my head. But thanks .

Hey WN. Lol my mom is piscean, but she has lots of aqua in her chart, she just has her sun in Pisces. She's a bit nagging and all, but which mom isn't?.. but she's very selfless and giving . You can see that I'm in a good mood, my exam went AWESOME!

Paras I love that quote, it actually made me smile. I like Ralph Waldo emerson. It actually reduced my sorrow. Thanks so much.

Now I'm nervous for Commerce/ Hindi Lit . Commerce mainly because I NEVER am able to finish the paper

posted March 09, 2006 04:47 AM         

My hindi Language exam did not go as good as it should have. I've a worser exam tommorow, Hindi. Lit (really nervous for this one.. what if I get 50's?.. )

Anyways aqua thanks for your support . You've gone through board exams so you've any particular advise? and do you take CBSE or ICSE?

Best of luck to you too!

posted March 09, 2006 07:14 AM         

I'm quite a bit calmer these days, only because it's happened so many times in the past.. so I'm more confident now.

When you're in a very stressful situation the best thing to do is take a deep breath and realise there is nothing you can do to change it. Whatever happens will happen regardless and sometimes, all you can do is go with the flow. Stressing won't help the situation in any way, it will only make you feel horrible and worsen things. The calmer you are in a stressful situation, the better it works out in the end, because it gives you time to think things through and sort them out as best you can, under the circumstances.. People can be extremely aggravating sometimes, I know. My mum gets very stressed and hyper also, at times. You just have to learn to not let it affect you and shut it out. Remember it's her emotions, her unnecessary worry.. don’t make them your own. I know this isn’t easy, specially since you have a Pisces moon.. you would feel people’s emotions as though they were your own.. but it’s really important that you try to detach.. because by taking on others’ negative emotions and worries.. it doesn’t help them, it doesn’t help you and it doesn’t help the situation.. all it does is make you feel bad.

I’m glad you seem happier now. Good Luck with your other exams. I’m sure you’ll do well. Don’t stress.. just do your best, you’ll be fine.. and remember you’re not Supergirl so don’t over-push yourself..

posted March 13, 2006 04:33 AM         

Anyways my exams aren't going bad, but I tend to not finish my paper, which's really bad. Thanks for your brilliant advise. I'm going to start being more calm, and you've a great point there, at first I never believed I was all catching up people's mood, but now I'm seeing patterns. Whenever a person's happy, I'm happy, whenever a person's angry, I'm angry. Its kind of weird, you know?. Frustrating too, in a way, because you can't just tune out your family when you're living with them and when you're sharing a room with your sister. I really try controlling myself, or not showing my emotions cause that really never appeals to me, but sometimes I just break down.

I'm like losing 10 marks in My Math exam cause I couldn't complete the paper . But the other sums I did, I'm sure I did them right and very well.

Now I'm going to sit back and relax, not another exam for 11 days. You know being a Cappy, I'm so concerned with my reputation, it sucks, for the past few days I've been awake the whole night studying for 16 hours straight, not sleeping much or eating, and its really bad for my health. I keep on thinking of what people would think of me, if I fail or get bad marks, or not above to the expectations.

Anyways thanks, most of my exams went awesome and I'll try and stop worrying, cause as you said, it doesn't help anyone and so its a waste of time (and I hate wasting time )

posted March 13, 2006 06:01 AM         

It was physics exam, and I forgot to take pen. But luckily I remembered as soon as I got out of home. So I came back to take the pen.My mother was superstitious that if I come back my performance will go down !!
She yelled at me and slapped me (which she never does on normal days!!). Even though I was a sensitive gal, this didnt affect me cuz I was determined to prove her wrong.
Well I did by scoring 48 out of 50.
Sometimes I just love my scorp mars

posted March 15, 2006 12:27 AM         

I'm really glad to hear you've done well

Here's my e-present for you:

posted May 19, 2006 08:26 AM         

Let me start with the worst:

English: 72/100 (the first exams)
History Civics and Geography: 78/100
Commerce: 80/100
Hindi: 83/100
Mathematics: 83/100 (I'm really happy with my Maths marks since I didn't complete my paper and lost about 10-13 marks, and STILL I got 83 )
Economics: 83/100 (ditto for economics. I couldn't complete my paper)

Anyways my overall percentage is 81.4%. Now I just feel that I was paranoid stressing out so much. The marks are not great, but I'm pretty happy since I've jumped up by about 21%.

Anyways as Iqhunk said that marks don't matter that much as contribution to humanity. I've actually joined this special needs centre for kids nearby my school as a volunteer, I go there once in a week and I've been going there for a month now. No wonder my life seems so much better .

posted May 19, 2006 01:33 PM         

Imho, working with the kids' center is worth far more to your soul/karma than any school grade.....

posted May 22, 2006 02:34 PM         

Zala:- thanks so much . Yeah I do. And I agree with you, I feel my life has become so much better after going to Dubai Centre of Special needs, I mean the kids I meet are really nice and its nice to be a friend to someone who's a bit lonely but totally normal.

Mama Mia:- LOL! I love and can tolerate my mom most of the time, but sometimes she can get a bit irritating, like a normal Mom does. Btw, I don't think your son would look at you in the same way, cause your values would be pretty different from my mothers who's an indian, so she's pretty conservative. But if its true, just try not to nag so much .