posted March 20, 2006 11:46 PM         

I used to live in Florida, and had a nice bass pond down in the back forty of mah ranch, its been nice weather and I havent been there awhile, its got a picnic table, horseshoe pit, nice apple trees and such, well I decided to go down to the pond as it has been a long winter and check it out.

I grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some apples and as I neared the pond I could hear voices shouting and laughing over the hill. As I got closer, I could see it was a bunch of young women skippy-dipping in my pond!!

posted March 20, 2006 11:49 PM         

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.