posted October 09, 2006 11:53 AM           

------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted October 09, 2006 01:08 PM         

And the one about not having any right to question him?! If my O.H had stayed out all night without so much as a phone call and then wandered in expecting no questions he'd have the pleasure of that "Warm drink" in his crotch!

posted October 09, 2006 02:04 PM         

Welcome to the 50's ladies That's the way many typical American post-war families were!! Ever seen Leave It to Beaver??

When I was a child and my dad came home from work, Mom brought a drink and the newspaper to his armchair, and my brother and I were not to bother him while he relaxed. After dinner we'd do stuff like play games and have tickle-fights with Dad, but not when he came in the door. This article above WAS the ideal that many women like my mom strived for.....

Sad, isn't it..... but we all owe a great debt to those women in the 60's and 70's who rebelled against this antiquated code and changed the rules for Man/Woman interaction.

posted October 09, 2006 03:23 PM         

My Gran found one and read it me and my Mum. And yes..... it is REAL!!!!!

Actually, it does make me laugh, purely because it does sound so fake and even it that is what it was like then, you never imagined anybody had bothered to write it down! lol

posted October 09, 2006 03:57 PM         

Rewritten in the Millennium Century year of 2005
by Yvonne M. Prince (Ladiprince@aol.com)

· Have dinner ready. Be sure he has good, easy to follow directions to the quality restaurants that deliver curbside. This way when he arrives home he'll have exactly what he wants for dinner and it will be ready when he arrives and you get fed too. You can be a dear and call in the order. We know how he doesn't like to do that.

· Prepare yourself…a good cocktail will work.

· Be a little gay (we now know this means happy) The cocktail will relax you and you'll appear to be happy when he arrives

· Clear away clutter today this means turn the computer off and the tv on and kick stuff out of the way to make a straight path to the tv. That's all he'll notice.

· Gather up schoolbooks…dust over the tables. Clearing the table off is a nice touch for that special meal he's bringing home. Put everything on the chair you don't use or in the clothes dryer (be sure to empty onto the top of the dryer when you decide to use it).

· Over the cooler months…. turn the heat up a little and give him brandy in his coffee…after you've made yours. It's nice to share.

· Prepare the children. At least try to know where they are. Someone has to take out tonight's dinner containers. Minimise all noise…let them eat in their rooms.

· Be happy to see him.. This may take several cocktails.

· Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him….more cocktails.

· Listen to him. This should be getting easy now after several cocktails.

· Make the evening his. …never complain if he comes home late…try to understand his world of strain..blah blah blah It's already his; he's coming home with a great dinner and if he's late make sure he knows how to use the microwave to reheat; if he really comes home late and without dinner have your dinner delivered and eat without him (just be sure he pays for your dinner when he does get home). No need to try to understand his world of strain, you were out there all day too.

· Your goal: peace, order and tranquility…. Wouldn't we all like that? Keep the kids in their rooms, hire a cleaning service and those cocktails are making everything tranquil. If you meet these for yourself then he will be able to renew himself in body and soul too. If it works for you, it'll work for him.

· Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Now that you have eliminated your need to talk to him then peace and tranquility are still working. Just email him your complaints and problems and he can deal with them at work tomorrow.

· Don't complain if he's late for dinner (we've already gone over this) or even stays out all night. Hell, no, this is not "minor". If you come home then he'd better come home. If you have to deal with the kids and everything at home then he does too. If he continues staying out all night then just smile (keep him off guard) and let your lawyer take care of him! (This is 2005 ladies)

· Make him comfortable. Be sure to let him know where the remotes are. It may not work but you can tell the kids, dogs and cats that they are in his favorite chair (you tried) as you settle into your chair.

· Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. As the cocktails really kick in; toss his pillow to him, tell him to be sure he takes his shoes off at the door and your voice is already low, soothing and pleasant (alcohol can do that).

· Don't ask him questions about his actions…blah, blah, blah. Remember he is the master of the house ….You have no right to question him..more blah, blah. Welcome to the Millennium. You do not need to ask anything; that's what GPS, micro transmitters and hidden cams are for away from home. As for master of the house; how can you forget as he reminds you constantly. Smile sweetly and say "Yes dear" then go about your business.

· A good wife always knows her place. And, she will be the one to decide where that is. This is no missionary position society we are in anymore.

posted October 09, 2006 04:00 PM         

Have dinner ready. Throw something in the microwave from the freezer and leave it in its original container so he can identify it. Fix yourself something good. Better yet – let him pick something up on the way home.

Prepare yourself. Have a drink. Hell, have several. It may take several to be prepared.

Be happy. Your boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to think about yourself and make it more interesting. Keep the drinks coming. Oh, yeah…it will make his day seem more interesting to you, as well.

Clear away the clutter. Make a path to the couch. Hey, you have to sit, too.

During the cooler months of the year, keep a blanket on the couch for yourself. You are the one who is always cold, anyway. After all, catering only to his comfort will provide you with deep feelings of worthlessness.

Minimize all noise. Go shopping as soon as he gets home. You deserve some peace and quiet. If he wants to minimize his noise, tell him to turn down the damned TV.

Be happy to see him. May require more drinks. Many more.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.... as soon as he shows you the same consideration. Otherwise, he and his right hand can live happily everafter.

Listen to him. Yak, yak, yak. You'd think his topics of conversation are more important than yours. As if.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems – wait at least a couple of minutes.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a blessing -- you won't have to fight him for the remote or the covers.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. That will make his death look like “natural causes,” if you do it right.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice as you put the another pillow over his face.

Don't ask him questions about his actions, or question his judgment or integrity. He has none and will have no defense. Remember, he thinks he is the master of the house and you have no right to question him. Tell him you won't question him; your lawyer will do that.

posted October 09, 2006 05:42 PM         

quote:

---

Don't complain if he's late home to dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day

---

Oh yes....I completely understand. I shall let him be out at all hours of the night to the Gentlemen's Club for all I know. Because it must be excruciatingly painful to work a regular 9-5. *tear*

posted October 09, 2006 06:32 PM           

------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"