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Author Topic:   jealousy
neptune5
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Posts: 2036
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted April 04, 2007 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
can someone help me? okay let me tell you my little story, this may not seem like much, but it hits close to home.

*i'm using different names to protect the identity of these people.

teachers name: Sandra
girl's name: sally

My history teacher and I are very close, like nothing can come between us, nothing, or so I thought. Well I found out today that she calls some girl 'my chocolate covered sally'. The girl's name is sally, and in return she calls the teacher 'my choclate covered sandy' and i'm cool with her, but i'm quite upset that she has this 'relationship' towards her, and it's not me, and its like she doesn't even acknowledge me in that way. I'm so much more mature, and well to do, and it just hurts.
I never thought I would be jealous of someone. But in truth, I can always admit it because i'm an open, frank, and honest person.

can anyone help me.

(replies from Lauren (Coral Frequency) and motherkonfessor would be greatly appreciated! )

------------------
Virgo Rising 8'57, Sagittarius Sun/4thH 3'26, Pisces Moon/6thH 8'22

"Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror." - Kahlil Gibran

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Mama Mia
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Posts: 2320
From:
Registered: Jun 2005

posted April 04, 2007 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Are you serious???? Whats your reason for being in school?? Honestly and you want honesty this is petty and childish and you said that you were the mature one right. Let it go do what you gotta do and keep moving. Is this highschool??? I may not know all that is needed to know but from what you have explianed this is how I see it..Correct me if I am wrong..

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Solane Star
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Posts: 5378
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted April 05, 2007 10:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solane Star     Edit/Delete Message
We have a mirror, a reflection that plays it's self out, that offers us the opportunity to see things in a different light!!!

A different prospective ,a different take on matters, another way of looking at it and reflecting on ones choice of emotion, can really help in these situations!!!!

When one has second hand emotions, this is what I call them anyways, like Jealousy, I just think that it brings something from inside of you out, to the forfront for you to look at, brought to ones attention!!!! Thats what I tend to beleive, that this is what a second hand emotion really is and are always in place when one needs more balance in this area of life.

All second hand emotions are like this, they all carry a opposite so that one CAN choice to see this and give it more " Balance " from inside ones s-elf!!!!

WOW!!! To be able to swing the Pendulum!!!!

This is your God Given birth right!!!!

The choice to see and choose, Free Will, your choice, THE BLESSING!!!

Thanks for sharing that with us Neptune!!!

Love!!!!!

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Solane Star
Knowflake

Posts: 5378
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted April 05, 2007 10:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solane Star     Edit/Delete Message
Neptune it takes courage to bring these kinds of things out and in the open," GOOD for YOU "!!!

Now, rub a little salt in your wounds, I know it hurts, but you can do it!!!!

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neptune5
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Posts: 2036
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posted April 05, 2007 04:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
yes mama mia i'm a junior in high school.

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Mama Mia
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posted April 05, 2007 04:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Oh well then I guess its normal..

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lioneye68
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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 06, 2007 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
It requires an open & generous heart to allow people you're close to, to enjoy other people as well as you. Do you only enjoy that teacher? Do you think that teacher would be ticked off at you if you were to have a good rapport with another teacher? The woman does have many other students besides you...It's not realistic to expect her not to bond with her other students. In fact, if she didn't bond that way with anyone except you, one would wonder if maybe she was a bit unstable, and perhaps of questionable intent.

Think about. I mean, it would just be weird if you were the only student she had a friendly rapport with.

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BroodingMooodlin
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Posts: 119
From: private hell in paradise
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 07, 2007 08:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BroodingMooodlin     Edit/Delete Message
Aww...those were the (horrible) days...yeah- only a year ago, lol.

Hey, it's alright, Neptune. Don't worry so much about it. I guess we've all kind of been in your situation in wanting to be the sole, exclusive favorite (although not necessarily in the identical type of situation). From my experience, I do recall being a tad miffed when I was in sixth grade when my English teacher selected a group of students as "delegates" for some kind of event (dunno what it was, exactly), when I felt that I was his most dedicated, ardent, aspiring pupil. I was especially affronted because he always seemed to prefer my work to everyone else's in the class...but I let it go.

Just remember - if you were your teacher, you would have picked "you" over anyone else (As crazy as my message sounds)!

Come on now, smile!

-Rrrr

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Mirandee
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Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted April 07, 2007 01:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
Jealousy is a normal human emotion but the root of it is insecurity and maybe low self-esteem.

I realize that many people are like this with friends but I never really understood that concept myself.

Even as a kid and all the way through school in my teens I always shared my friends with other friends. People that I met who became my friends, well, I just brought them into the group of friends and we just all became friends. It never bothered me when any of my friends would have a sleep over without me there or if they went somewhere without me there.

I still introduce my friends to other friends. I appreciate all of them for what they are as people and what we share together. It doesn't bother me that maybe they can share something with another friend that they don't share with me.

Be happy that your teacher also likes you and appreciates you for the friend that you are, neptune. It is possible that it was this girl, Sally, that started calling your teacher the pet name first and the teacher is just returning the favor to her. The teacher might even appreciate you more for not suggesting she call you a nickname of sorts. Just appreciate the fact that the teacher calls you friend. There may be other students that she does not consider a friend.

I don't really think it is a good practice for any teacher in high school to have students as friends. That always sets up the potential for problems between students. I am more concerned about the mentality of this teacher friend of yours than I am about you and the jealousy. Seems the teacher has set that up to happen and it's frankly not a good thing. She should be treating all her students as being equal to each other. Teachers who have teacher's pets set up kids to be outcasts by the other students. Not a good thing.

I am highly suspicious of teachers who do this sort of thing. I think it must be an insecurity on their part or there is another agenda. Beware. Once in high school the gym teacher had "pet" students. Turned out she was a lesbian.

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neptune5
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posted April 07, 2007 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
well she's my history teacher and shes very intelligent, we talk politics all the time.

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Dulce Luna
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Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted April 07, 2007 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
Errr, this kind of makes me think of "The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie". Especially with alot of what Mirandee said.

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BroodingMooodlin
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Posts: 119
From: private hell in paradise
Registered: Jul 2005

posted April 07, 2007 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BroodingMooodlin     Edit/Delete Message
well, if they refer to each other on those terms and with those little nicknames, then that sounds a little too informal if you ask me. What if they're related, as in your history teacher is her aunt (something like that...maybe??? )?

P.S. I've never had a single female history teacher in my life! They've aaaall been male. I've had both sexes teach every other subject except this.

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neptune5
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posted April 07, 2007 11:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
i dearly thank all of you all for helping me, but i need some more help,

well i was upset about it on wednesday night, so i e-mailed my teacher about it, and well you guys know me, if i feel something is injust i'll speak up about it no matter what happens to me. Well the teacher forwarded it to the principal.

So what do you think her intentions were in that?

------------------
Virgo Rising 8'57, Sagittarius Sun/4thH 3'26, Pisces Moon/6thH 8'22

"Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror." - Kahlil Gibran

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lotusheartone
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Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008

posted April 08, 2007 12:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
I think there is something wrong with your teacher, or you...why would she do that!
It only points out her wrong doing....

best for you to talk to the principal, yourSelf
and tell the Truth, about the situation. ...

Neptune5, have no fear of anyOne...
Be happy with who you are...
without the pats on the back

more important to be true to yourSelf
than let other people make you feel
inadequate...cause they are doing wrong...

Be Strong, I Know you are

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lioneye68
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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 08, 2007 02:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
neptune, what did you say to her? Did you sound weird & psycho? Is she perhaps wondering if you're all there?

...Can't handle professional relationships or something? If not, you're in big trouble, girl.

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lotusheartone
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Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008

posted April 08, 2007 02:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
neptune5

is all there...she's a ggod girl..hehe
getting the best of Us, I LOve her spunk!

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lioneye68
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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 08, 2007 02:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
half the people here are not "all there" ...

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lotusheartone
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Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
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posted April 08, 2007 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
an opinion, thanks!

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lovely*
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Posts: 2141
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003

posted April 10, 2007 02:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovely*     Edit/Delete Message
<---------------------

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Mirandee
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Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted April 10, 2007 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
About what age is this history teacher, neptune?

I don't know what you said in your email to your teacher so I can't really say why she might have forwarded your email to the principal. Did she tell you that she forwarded it to the principal? If so she must have given you a reason as to why she did that.

Have you talked to your parents about this matter? They are there so they might be able to be of more help than anyone online especially with the sketchy information that we have.

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Mama Mia
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posted April 10, 2007 10:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Lioneye: Im Cracking up laughing..

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neptune5
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posted April 10, 2007 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
About what age is this history teacher, neptune?
I don't know what you said in your email to your teacher so I can't really say why she might have forwarded your email to the principal. Did she tell you that she forwarded it to the principal? If so she must have given you a reason as to why she did that.

Have you talked to your parents about this matter? They are there so they might be able to be of more help than anyone online especially with the sketchy information that we have.


she's not old, but shes not young, and i don't see any gray hair, so she's probably like 37 - 40.

the fact is, i really ultimately didn't care about it being fowarded to the principal, because if i feel something is wrong at any time, i'll speak up about it, i'll do anything to accomplish my goal, must have something to do with my prime star (el nath with mercury - the satirist the one who comments) and my other star in my youth (denebola with venus - challenging accepted social opinions), so you can see where i'm comibng from.


And listen to this, in psychology class, we pray (i go to a catholic school), and during prayer, the girl who called the teacher by her first name, says during intentions;

I'd like to pray for Mrs. Clark because i think i got her into trouble,

and when she walked back from history class, when i was walking past her, she yells out 'she doesn't love me anymore!"

so i kind of think that has something to do with it, so i'm slowly accomplshing some things, not to be mean about it, but frankly I am.

You know whats disturing about it though, is that the girl talks about me to my friends, not really true friends, but the people i talk too, and they talk right back to her about me, and agree with her comments.

And I understand its none of my business, but i feel it had to be done, because truly, its a justification to my rights as an individual to stand up for what I believe in. We are living in America, aren't we?

(land of the free, home of the brave) And thats all i feel i've been with this situation, is brave and free.

------------------
Virgo Rising 8'57, Sagittarius Sun/4thH 3'26, Pisces Moon/6thH 8'22

"Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror." - Kahlil Gibran

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lioneye68
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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted April 10, 2007 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
I'm sorry, this whole thing just sounds soooo petty and lame. You're getting your panties in a bunch about a teacher having a mutual pet name with another student. Is it just me, or does it sound like Neptune's feelings/sense of ownership for this teacher are beyond normal student teacher boundries? That in itself is worrisome.

And she should like you best because you're so much more mature & well-to-do?? Well-to-do?? Do you mean rich? Gawd, I hope not. That doesn't make you sound like a very nice person at all. "I'm rich, so I'm more deserving of the teacher's affection" - Please tell me you don't mean it that way.

I'm glad you won this battle, because you seem awfully please about that, but I honestly don't think your attitude is very healthy at all.

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Mirandee
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Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted April 10, 2007 07:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
I think that when we are adults something like this does seem pretty petty and lame but remembering back to high school age things that seem like nothing to us now were major dramas at that age.

It's true, and something that neptune will learn as she grows older, that it does no good to compare yourself with others or to compete with others to be more liked by anyone. We really have no control over those things. There will always be others who are greater than we are as well as lesser than we are. By that I mean in achievements and even in looks or wealth. It is the choice of others who they like more than us. Nothing we can do about that so it does no good to worry about it or be upset by it.

However, this is a situation that was caused by the teacher due to whatever need or agenda she may have that impels her to play favoritism over her students and to do it openly and blantantly. So for that reason I think that neptune's speaking up about it to the teacher was the right thing to do. If, as the other girl stated, it "got the teacher in trouble" then good. The teacher deserved to be in trouble. It is just plain wrong for a teacher to do that and create a situation like this. If she likes some students more than others she should just keep it to herself.

Very wrong for a teacher to blantantly and openly practice favoritism and if you ask me it is the teacher who needs to grow up and act her age. Neptune is acting her age.

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neptune5
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posted April 11, 2007 02:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
And she should like you best because you're so much more mature & well-to-do??

lioneye, i actually am one of the most mature of her students, and in my whole junior class. And on top of that we (the teacher and I) just have a natural rapport, an easy flow of compatibility that I really don't think she has with her other students. And it proves itself, because we had a big meeting about it on Monday, which consist of (the teacher, both school guidance counselors, the principal, and vice principal) and what happened is that she lied about saying it, because she had to keep her job, but at the same time, when were in class, its like she's sad about letting me go, aka, not being as close anymore. She doesn't seem as joyous anymore. I think she thinks i'm angry at her, but actually I did it because i loved her. If i didn't address her about it when I did, it could have blowed up with someone else, and the situation could have gotten infinitely worse.

I understand she doesn't want to lose her job, and i don't want her to lose anything, but i must speak up at injustic and incorrectness, especially when I know it could possibly get worse if i don't say anything.


quote:
However, this is a situation that was caused by the teacher due to whatever need or agenda she may have that impels her to play favoritism over her students and to do it openly and blantantly. So for that reason I think that neptune's speaking up about it to the teacher was the right thing to do. If, as the other girl stated, it "got the teacher in trouble" then good. The teacher deserved to be in trouble. It is just plain wrong for a teacher to do that and create a situation like this. If she likes some students more than others she should just keep it to herself.

Very wrong for a teacher to blantantly and openly practice favoritism and if you ask me it is the teacher who needs to grow up and act her age. Neptune is acting her age.



thanks mirandee, for supporting the 'neptune cause' thousandfold! aka, thanks for the encouragement.

oh, newsflash, now, the other girl (my rival for the teachers affection), is openly trying to make me more upset about it, coming into one of my classes and ranting and raving to some of her friends about the 'pet name', and them saying 'because your her fav. student.

but you know i don't care, anymore, its over, i got my bitching done now, and they see not to mess with me, because I will make the wrong right.

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