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Author
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Topic: ah well got to tell u somethng .........
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cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2668
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 29, 2007 01:17 AM
 
i am serching for girl to marry !
it might be an arranged marriage as is the norm in here . just felt like asking if someone else is in the same boat as well .  IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 01:23 AM
good luck - not getting into that "arranged" marriage boat yet again!IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2668
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 29, 2007 01:28 AM
we differ on that one but yeah good luck ! IP: Logged |
BrightStar
Knowflake Posts: 186
From:
Registered: Apr 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 01:38 AM
Hi cancerry so you want to be marry. Well you in luck. I have a friend who has a friend that her other friend wants to get marry. How do you like them apples?IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted September 29, 2007 07:10 AM
Best of luck to you, moonman!  IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 09:58 AM
I am really sorry to hear this, I wish people woud get married because they are in love.
In the other hand I hope when you find this person you both will fall madly in love with each other before kids come along and everyone has a miserabe life together.I am sorry if my answer is not what you want to hear but I do beleive in love between a couple before they form a partnership.
I will respect your decision regardless but I do have my opinions. IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 02:02 PM
quote:
we differ on that one but yeah good luck !
Experience is the best teacher buddy, but my experience and your experience may not be the same! Good luck! IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted September 29, 2007 02:41 PM
quote:
I am really sorry to hear this, I wish people woud get married because they are in love.
In the other hand I hope when you find this person you both will fall madly in love with each other before kids come along and everyone has a miserabe life together.
I don't want to get into my views on different sorts of unions but just know that there is a difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. The former doesn't always have to be bad or loveless...it just depends on the individual. IP: Logged |
aqua inferno
Knowflake Posts: 1106
From: hopping about Europe
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted September 29, 2007 02:44 PM
Good luck!!! Hope you find a fabulous match!! IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 02:57 PM
quote:
I don't want to get into my views on different sorts of unions but just know that there is a difference between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. The former doesn't always have to be bad or loveless...it just depends on the individual.
I will admit my ignorance on this...
perhaps I need to understand where he is coming from...
So, when you have an arranged marriage you are entering a partnership with love?
Or you are entering a partnership without love but you can have "free love" ( a license to love others?)And it becomes just a financial partnership....??????? Will you please explain?
Thank you! IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:03 PM
NAM, in India, the family arranges the marriage, and that is why it is an arranged marriage. In this way, the guy and girl are sort of forced to love. The advantage is that the family finds the match, and they also take responsibility of some of the issues that might crop up eventually. I don;t want to talk about it, because what happened to me was a nightmare. It was a completely arranged marriage fiasco, but it lasted only 28 days (thankfully) but had a 46 month seperation, and legal torture they put me through, and I eventually got my divorce only in the end of July 2007.IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:08 PM
Well don't feel bad Sattvic, I chose my partner and it lasted about 7 "happy" years and 5 very unhappy/hell like years...This is why I search and search about the meaning of love within people, there has to be a better answer than divorce between people.But that is another story.
It just seems that something without "love" as the foundation would have less chances of working out for people that one that starts with love, neither seems to be forever (for the most part).
I will continue to search IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:13 PM
The issue that I faced was that this girl was a psychotic patient who was under serious medication. The girl's family hid this fact from us, and ironically someone have told them that once she start a family, she would be "normal"..... Since, they hid the fact from us, she also abstained from taking medicines after the marriage, and her condition deteriorated from day one, and by day 27 all hell broke loose! She was such a psycho that her mentality had gone to extreme - to kill or to suicide, but luckily for us, she went with her father to their's. Rest is a peaceful history as far as I am concerned. Sorry Cancerg, I am not trying to spread fear, but it will always be good to enquire the background thoroughly, because I know 7 people now, who had the same plight as I had. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:24 PM
Sattvic~I am sorry, I don't mean to be disrespectful but, how in the world do you think you are going to know a person by doing a background check!!!!!!
And even if you do know somehow , why do you think this person is going to be the right one for you and complement you? this only comes with time spent together and the love that helps look through the little things and accept people....
But, as you see my marriage didn't work out either so, I may not really know what the secret to a happy partnership is...Again, I am not being disrespecful, I am simply trying to learn through you and I offer my own experiences so we can all learn and find better ways! I always hope for the best, and if you are happy , then I am happy (whoever you are)
IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:27 PM
Just think and assume, that is why I despise arranged marriage, and I always have. But I was in an emotional situation for a while, when the "axe fell on my head" hahahahahahaBut, even with a love marriage, problems do arise, mainly because of lack of proper understanding, so, after marriage it is all the same. Toss that coin, and keep fingers crossed! IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted September 29, 2007 03:37 PM
Wow Sattvic, I'm sorry that had happened to you, it must've have been a nightmare. 
quote:
I will admit my ignorance on this...
perhaps I need to understand where he is coming from...
So, when you have an arranged marriage you are entering a partnership with love?
Or you are entering a partnership without love but you can have "free love" ( a license to love others?)And it becomes just a financial partnership....???????Will you please explain?
What I meant that its not the same as a forced marraige in this day and age because (well atleast in my culture) it is where the man can kind of meet the woman and then ask the parents' for permission to marry her if he sees any potential. I must note that it doesn't happen so much in urbanized areas but there still is some sort of formality. And I believe the woman can even turn him down if she wants. That's I meant by arranged not being so bad, though I don't know if that's the way it goes in India so I cant really speak for them. But I've heard of instances where the marraige was arranged and the two people were happy or content. That's also why I don't think its always bad. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:37 PM
If you were a gambling man which do you think it would have more odds of surviving though? 
IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:39 PM
quote:
I'm sorry that had happened to you, it must've have been a nightmare.
Learn the lesson, move on. What I became is what matters, now what happened to me. Nightmare? yes it was because of the crazy laws that we have, but God was with me. There is no point in being good in today's world, you got to be smart. Being good - is good for you and your family and loved ones, but what the world needs is a smart person! You are good, but not smart enough. - these words were told to me by my father's friend, way back in 1996 - and it took me 11 long years to realize the true meaning. IP: Logged |
NAM
Knowflake Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:42 PM
quote:
But I've heard of instances where the marraige was arranged and the two people were happy or content. That's also why I don't think its always bad.
Well, as I said as long as the person is happy (both of them) then there is no problem.The question here would be, are they really happy? because if that is the case I have someone in mind I can totally marry right now , we get along great but there is no chemestry between the both of us, so I think it would not work over the years because I would always ne lacking that spark, but again, I am just researching possible scenarios that way I won't make the same mistake as before. I love love though  I am just a loving kind of gal! I love being in love
don't you just love being in love
It makes me feel like at least I tried, even if it end up not working out! IP: Logged |
OMG Jay
Knowflake Posts: 360
From:
Registered: Sep 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:42 PM
If someone tried to arrange my marriage....I would rebel...run away...get crazy and throw huge tantrums until everyone gives up and realizes that I will do whatever I want!Hopefully you find a nice lady. IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:42 PM
quote:
If you were a gambling man which do you think it would have more odds of surviving though?
You are tempting me now! Don;t you know a Sagittarian can be the gambling slave? hahaha Interestingly I have never been into gambling, but I gambled with my life for long. But the luck factor was always with me - for me. and as of today, I believe, it is time to give back to God what I am intended to be. IP: Logged |
NeptuneLove
Knowflake Posts: 551
From:
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:43 PM
No law in the world could make me marry someone i don`t love, that`s for sureIP: Logged |
NeptuneLove
Knowflake Posts: 551
From:
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted September 29, 2007 03:46 PM
quote:
If someone tried to arrange my marriage....I would rebel...run away...get crazy and throw huge tantrums until everyone gives up and realizes that I will do whatever I want!
EXACTLY ! IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted September 29, 2007 03:49 PM
quote:
Learn the lesson, move on. What I became is what matters, now what happened to me.Nightmare? yes it was because of the crazy laws that we have, but God was with me. There is no point in being good in today's world, you got to be smart. Being good - is good for you and your family and loved ones, but what the world needs is a smart person! You are good, but not smart enough. - these words were told to me by my father's friend, way back in 1996 - and it took me 11 long years to realize the true meaning.
That's always good to hear! You have the lovely leo lady now so all I'm assuming all should be well.
I know if I did any arranged marraige business I would probably do a thorough background check anyways, but personally...its not really for me. And wise words by your father's friend. Couldn't be more true in a world like this.  IP: Logged |
Happy Dragon
Knowflake Posts: 2886
From:
Registered: Apr 2005
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posted September 29, 2007 03:51 PM
~ http://www.asianmatchmaker.co.uk/ ~IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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