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Author Topic:   The Victimization of Women
hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1981
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 04, 2007 11:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
In my 45 years, thus far, of this earthly incarnation I have noticed this...

Women are far too frequently thought of as "victims." It is, unfortunately accepted in society and even expected.

However, we have let this occur and now it is time to stop!

Why is the huge majority of domestic abuse/violence men unto women? Why in the workplace do women suffer from sexual harassment, decreased wages and positions of non-promotion merely because she is a woman? Why is the statement "it's a man's world" still used???

Because we have let it be.

Poor little women, they can not fend for themselves, they can not take care of things in life, they can not excel in society, they have to take it, just because they always have.

Why can a man walk around in public without a shirt, with his skin showing and he is cool, he is macho....and a woman shows skin and she is a **** ???

Why can a man "tag" as many women as he pleases and he is a "MAN," when a woman has several sexual partners she is, again...a **** ....???

In the city in which I live it is acceptable and expected in a particular culture for the man to cheat on his wife...and for the wife to sit dutifully at home and cook and clean while he is off...well....cheating. In this culture if the woman cheated she would likely suffer divorce at the least, batterment, even death at the worst...

The double standards anger me!!!

I am a nurse in a city of multiculture. I have been at opposition to a particular physician from a land abroad recently as to his practice techiniques and methodology. He expects the nurse to jump and do whatever it is that he says....sorry buddy, you have just met me. I will always act and practice in the best interest of my patient and not what your ego says I should do. And I absolutely know it is a cultural thing...in his birthland, women are cloaked in black, letting only the eyes exposed...I respect his culture and I know where his ego is coming from, but if he is going to practice medicine in the US, get a grip...I refuse to be a victim of any man's ego!!!

I have been subjected to stalking and harassment from a former boyfriend for a few years....again...a "victim...." Law enforcement can not help because he has not hurt me. I have studied and researched stalkers, boarderline personality disorders, psychosis, etc. for a long time now and the general consensus is..."you are a victim honey...this man will never stop...find a safe way to deal with it...." His behavior is permitted to continue in my society because it is expected for the "victims" of stalking to be just that...."victims!!!"

Sorry, I am not buying that.

Sure I will protect myself and my kids as much as I can, I will be as safe as I can, but I WILL NOT chanage my life for some disrespectful idiot just because he chooses to victimize me!

I asked a male friend of mine for his opinion about my situation with my stalker...a "man"s" opinion...and I made mention of me sitting in my front yard and the perp driving by and harassing me...his general response was "why don't you sit in your backyard???" Good gawd!!! Am I not able to sit in my front yard because I am a victim???

Things are changing....slowly...and I will be sure to help this change along.

I refuse to be a victim any longer, at work at home, in public, anywhere just because I am a woman....

O, by the way...I am woman, hear me roar!!!

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted December 05, 2007 10:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
It's the kind of things that you mention here, hippiechick, that I always think of when people say things like, " you are only a victim if you see yourself as a victim."

We all know that saying is not true. Sometimes we KNOW for sure we are being victimized.

I agree with what you said here. Certainly the laws regarding stalking and harassment of women are stacked in favor of men. So often it has happened that women go to the police to get protection only to find there is nothing they can really do. Many times that has ended up badly where a woman ends up being killed by the stalker or an ex-husband or boyfriend becuase she can't do anything until he hurts her in some way. DUH! What kind of law is that? The first time he hurts her may be to kill her.

I also agree that most times people end up blaming the woman in some way. Like it's our fault that some guy can't control his hormones or his behavior patterns.

It's not right that women are often told that they have to adjust their lives, I.E., " sit in the backyard instead of the frontyard," and not be free to sit anywhere they want to sit while the stalker and man harassing her is free to do what he wants to her.

It does make you angry at a system and mentality like the one we have. All these years after the women's liberation movement and basically, very little has changed in the way that society sees women and treats them.

Even when a woman works hard at being sucessful in the business world as a boss she is seen as a "b****" while a man is lauded and respected for his success.

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artlovesdawn
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Posts: 1177
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted December 05, 2007 11:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for artlovesdawn     Edit/Delete Message
..

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1981
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 05, 2007 12:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Mirandee

I agree totally---anybody who is willing to accept the role of victim, will be such...
But I think the stereotype has gone out of hand...

And THAT is why I am taking a stand...I will no longer be a victim of domestic violence or workplace degredation or public stereotypes.

The universal concious is such an awesome thing...as we think so we will be...

art

I too agree with you! Women can be harassers, stalkers, etc, but as I have just stated it is the stereotype of the woman of a victim that has me all rattled!

The statistics are overwhealming of the man abusing women thing, however I think one should take into consideration that men are far less likely to report such infringes upon themselves as women are...hence skewed "statistics."

Thank you both for your replies!

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Hexxie
Knowflake

Posts: 934
From: :::Libra Sun / 29* Gemini Rising / Aquarius Moon:::
Registered: Jul 2005

posted December 05, 2007 01:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hexxie     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Things are changing....slowly...and I will be sure to help this change along.

As old energy programs leave our 3D human bodies they often 'come up' for us to work with. Sometimes it's just an issue to think about, but other times it's an actual experience.

There are a lot of patriarchal structures that are crumbling away right now. Reminds me of the tarot card XVI The Tower:

quote:
<<From the Dragon Tarot by Terry Donaldson>>
Here the elements can be seen at their most aggressive: the earth when an earthquake occurs, the water when a storm breaks out, fire from heaven, and the force of a hurricane or tornado. From my side you can see flames emerging, while lightning and huge winds batter me from side to side.
I represent different things to different people. To some, I show rigid structures begin to collapse when they become unable to change in response to what is needed; to others I show how it is possible with a little bit of foresight to avert most of the calamities which life can throw in our paths. It is said that everyone has to go through their own Tower experience at some time or another. The very foundations of belief and conviction which we build our lives upon are put to the test. Very often it will seem as though we stand all alone in our Tower experience. Then all we can do is put as much order into our surroundings as it is humanly possible, and to try and link with others who are capable of understanding.

Meaning: The need to establish very strong foundations in life.

Triggers: Mars, planet of energy, action, and initiative.


It seems like humans as a whole are going through some sort of Tower experience right now. Perhaps one reason has to do with Pluto moving into Capricorn - transforming structures?! Anyways, what is needed, and what is being unconsciously (some people are conscious of this, but most are still not) is a balance between the masculine and feminine. The re-calibration is happening (slowly but surely). But in calibrating things sometimes the teeter-totter tips wildly one way before it tips the other before a nice new balance, still point, is reached. (Think Chaos Theory)

It's a hard thing to remember, but maybe if I keep talking about it to people I can remember as well as help others remember... We need not react to the lessons/situations that are presented to us here in "earth school". We need to be the observer and try to figure out the larger meaning of why we are noticing whatever "it" is that has been drawn to us for learning.

I hope this helps in some way. I realize that the way I think is a bit more abstract, some might say airy faerie, in nature. But I am just here, doin' my thing.

"...But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here..."
------------------
`Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'
~Lewis Carroll

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1981
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 05, 2007 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
O, Hex--

Ofcouse you ALWAYS help....

You one smart scale chick!!

Thank you for your input...

Blessins and love


Terri

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1981
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 05, 2007 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
and.....

as always...

loot.....

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Nephthys
Moderator

Posts: 3800
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001

posted December 05, 2007 02:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message

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artlovesdawn
Knowflake

Posts: 1177
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted December 05, 2007 06:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for artlovesdawn     Edit/Delete Message
...

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aquaspryt69
Knowflake

Posts: 1567
From: Arizona
Registered: Feb 2004

posted December 05, 2007 07:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaspryt69     Edit/Delete Message
Anyone see that movie with Jennifer Lopez in it called, "Enough"?

I like the conversation she has with the police about getting that little piece of paper and waving it at him when he comes around. That's all the "protection" you will get from the police.

More of us women need to take those self-defense classes. Empower ourselves.
We can choose not to be victims, but if somebody wants to victimize you badly enough, they are going to do it unless we as individuals find a way to stop them. The police are not there to "protect and to serve" women who have "asked for it" or "brought it on themselves".

I'm not saying all women are innocent. Not by a long shot. Look at all the men who are finally able to overcome their shame and tell others about having been raped and/or molested by their mom, or baby-sitter, or older sibling.

I think you guys already hit on the main problem....no protection or support from proper authorities.

I'd like to say more on this subject, but the more I read this sort of thing the madder I get.

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1981
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted December 06, 2007 08:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
When we speak of staker types, we are definately speaking of a deranged mind.

So in dealing with the individual, one can not expect to do so per the values of the norm. They often to not respect authority so law enforcement is not really a valid means to cease behavior anyway, unless, of course the laws would change and horrible punishment be enacted!

To deal with the psychotic mind, one must enter the psychosis.

I do not think women or men for that matter ever ask for this behavior and it is never deserved!!! I do not care if someone says one day yes, then the next day no, boundaries should be respected. If you feel you have a flaky individual in your life that is yanking your chain, then exit that individual from your life, but even a flakey individual does not deserve staking and harassment!!!

Stalkers get their ideas all on their own, no one has to give them any ideas, they already have them, no one has to act in any way to gain the attention of a stalker, you already have their attention.

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