posted December 17, 2007 04:38 PM         

quote:

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I have a hard time dealing with the ignorance of youth. Can't get past that and my stepdaughter is very ignorant and quite a biach at times. I really don't care for the personality i see emerging. Thats so tough because i do have to hide those feelings to those that love her.

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And why does that happens? Why is it that youth of this generation aren't as motivated to do things as before? or see a reason to look at another POV? Why? Because they don't see a reason to be motivated.

Society's view point these days have come out to be the simple "Be happy with what ya got" or "Its quite ok to have a run-of-the-mill job." Well... If that's motivation then is it no surprise as to why drop-out rates seem to be on the rise these days? Kids just wanna go to the nearest factory for a 11.50 dollar Job.

You know what I say to that? BULL!!! ALWAYS aim higher and always go for the next rung of the ladder. Its the only way one can come to appreciate the hard work others have put into in buliding the world around us. Heck its been 9 years since I have seen my parents and I love them deeply but they instilled in me the motivation that me and brothers needed to secure a good life for us. They always gave us the opportunity to face our concequences head on ourselves which I have to say, most parents don't do anymore.

And if someone says "overnurtering" is the answer, well... Have a read (and hopefully your kids are collage/University ready cause its a whole new ball game : )

posted December 17, 2007 08:35 PM         

Pixie ~
I miss you tons. !! I don't have the time I used to have online since I am out on a boat with my boyfriend for half of the week now. Sorry I've been quiet.

There's a lot I want to respond to in this thread but it'll have to wait until tomorrow because I'm on my way to the marina right now.

I'm really happy it opened some dialogue.

Ironically, my first post doesn't change the fact that I would really like ONE MORE BABY before my baby-having years are over. My 8 year old son has been the best thing that's happened to me. I do hope another baby is in my future before I get too old.

Go figure!

posted December 18, 2007 05:54 AM         

Dervish - don't talk to me about boomer parents!!!!! Materialistic. Selfish. Violent. Bratty. Unsophisticated. Mine, about 5 planets in Taurus each...don't mesh with them. Sorry.

posted December 20, 2007 08:10 AM         

I'll confess now if anyone really wants me to.

I do love children. I feel much compassion and love towards them.

However.....I wouldn't ever dream of wanting to work with them or anything like that.

I love children, but in small doses.

I'm just not wired up right to handle noise very well.

I think it comes from all those years as a loner/ hermit spent in quiet/ solitude.

And like a few have mentioned here, I too as a child didn't particularly like other children when I was a child myself.

However, now I am a mother I feel so maternal towards all children. Perhaps it's the development of the empathy for them through actually being a mother. I've always adored babies, etc, but I did use to be mostly maternal towards animals......I can now say I feel that way towards both.

My son was always very confident when he first started going to kindergarten, but if I ever saw another child crying, tears and emotion would well up in me.

If a newborn baby smiles at me, it often makes me cry.

So I am maternal.....I'm just not very good at being around kids/ noise for very long. I wish I wasn't like that.
It's an odd combination, I know.

My son's father and I now have shared responsibility for my boys while I sort out my depression, etc.

All that really matters to me is that my two boys are happy, and I feel they are.

posted December 21, 2007 01:44 AM         

I miss you too! ON a boat?
NICE!

posted December 21, 2007 01:53 AM         

listens to trees, i know what you mean. i was an only child and am used to a lot of solitude and quiet. i do find a lot of noise kind of grates on me and i wish i could have just five minutes an hour of pure and total quiet! that would be heaven!

i dunno. i see a lot of people projecting their sh!t on kids and it really REALLY bothers me (IRL i mean). also when i hear stuff like calling a child a "bioch", etc.

posted December 21, 2007 08:06 PM         

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it is creepy to love "all" children?

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quote:

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should i pick out one or two a week to dislike?

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posted December 21, 2007 09:40 PM         

i do feel very strongly about this subject having grown up in a very abusive household. i see how these things perpetuate and i find it difficult to not get emotionally charged about this subject matter. if you want to understand why a person would love all children, perhaps this illustration will help:

i live in a pretty small town and there is an 8 year old boy i know that EVERYONE cannot stand. he says things that he knows will get him that kind of negative attention. why? cuz he does not get positive attention. yet somehow NO one seems to get this and everyone hates this poor kid. i've known him about 3 years. he is loudmouthed, crass, angry and says some pretty shocking stuff. but guess what? he is 100% polite, courteous and gentle with me and my daughter 100% of the time. why? because i look him in the eye. i smile at him. he knows i won't take **** from him and he knows that i care about him. he is an extreme example and like i said NO ONE likes this kid. as an extreme example and given the behaviours mentioned, it would be so easy to go "oh that kid! what a little sh!t" just like everyone else. but then what? kid thinks he's a little sh!t. it becomes his identity. then his nastiness gets more and more out of control because he doesn't believe he is more.

of course this is an extreme example. but the point is that we all form our identity and our perception of the world in childhood, for the most part and i don't understand NOT loving everyone. to any kid that is annoying to you, just think of the way you look at him or her. is it going to inform his or her identity in a positive or a painful way? and if painful, WHY?? you don't know why the kid is acting up. but guaranteed it is something he or she learned from their environment. if you see a better way, model it or guide them gently. it's pretty simple.

posted December 21, 2007 10:58 PM         

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i wonder why you even bothered stating it if it doesn't apply to what it seems you intended it to.

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I feel very strongly that children are individuals regardless of their age, and that not recognizing them as an individual is a disservice. My own harrowing times in childhood solidified that belief. I appreciated adults who met me on a personal level, and the children I interact with as an adult have shown me the same appreciation. If you believe differently, or feel I am "wrong," then that's just a difference between our strong opinions and there's nothing to be done about it.

posted December 21, 2007 11:42 PM         

i think we just have different definitions of love, and are trying to make different points.

posted December 22, 2007 02:05 AM         

I don't dislike bratty children but like anyone else I don't like being in the vicinity of them. I don't dislike the child because usually when kids are bratty beyond the age of 3 it is due to their parents being afraid of offending the child by reprimanding them or telling them in no uncertain terms to "knock it off!!" Preferably in a loud, " I mean it" tone. Then offering them a time out if they don't listen. Incidently in spite of what the hype of the so called "experts" say, it is the terrible 3's in reality - not the terrible 2's. It only begins there but it is perfected in the 3 year old

Kids are great. It's when they hit their teens and decide to rebel that they should be farmed out until they are in their middle 20's and regain their sanity. During the teen years all you can do is hope that the values you taught them growing up kick in and at the most they don't harm themselves in some way or end up in jail.

I love kids but I don't let them get out of hand. My kids knew and my grand children know that I mean business. I mean what I say. As Ayla, my second oldest grand daughter said in the report she gave about someone she admires in school last year, " My grandma is very nice but when she gets mad she sounds just like a lion." LOL