posted February 12, 2008 07:43 PM         

I hope that your dad does turn up okay and didn't commit suicide. I hope that things start looking up for you all around.

I don't know why it is but it does seem that this is the way it goes in life at times when everything just keeps hitting you all at once. It seems almost like an endurance test as to how much you can take before completely breaking down.

It is said that whatever doesn't kill us serves to make us stronger. That is very true but at the time it is all happening that is the last thing we are thinking about.

I can relate. I am kind of getting the kitchen sink thrown at me at this time in my life as well. I am just taking it all a day at a time and trying my best to hang on and get through another day. It's all I can do.

posted February 12, 2008 08:18 PM         

I hope you hear that your Dad is still here. And find a good job. When are you able to enroll next?

posted February 12, 2008 11:21 PM         

Take care of you!
Hugs to you.
GG

------------------
The truth is ... everything counts. Everything. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else. ~ Countee Cullen

posted February 13, 2008 01:46 AM         

Thanks Mirandee... it will get better, I know. I just hope it doesn't take too long or else I'm going to go nut ka bobbers. I used to NEVER cry, but now I'm doing it like 2 or 3 times a week. Blaaa... >.< I'm just trying to convince myself that Kurt Vonnegut wasn't completely right when he said life was a crock of **** , lol. I hope whatever you're going through works itself out as well. *hugs*

Node~ I wonder what is so wrong that everyone seems to be having such an awful time. I hope my dad is still here too... if he is not I'm probably going to beat myself up about it because I didn't talk to him when he tried to call me. I really should have just tried to be more patient, I guess, but I was tired of just being patient with him my whole life when time after time he just kept acting the way he does. The world is nuts. I'm going to have to enroll in the fall because financial aid will not pay for summer classes. I wish I had someone to rub my back now! I did call a friend of mine though, and she cheered me up a lot by keeping my mind off of it.

GG~ Thanks, yeah... I'm just thankful that I have this lovely extended family to help me through stuff like this. Even if we don't really talk about it, it's nice just knowing that I have them. The beauty in the world is there, but it is very often hard to see.

posted February 13, 2008 06:43 AM         

do you like bunnies?

sometimes, they are tough

cats, on the other hand, are so much fun...
we do so many things together... like swimming,

chill and get tanned

posted February 13, 2008 06:44 AM         

do you like them too? or do you prefer dogs?

http://www.maniacworld.com/cat-videos.html
http://www.maniacworld.com/dog-videos.html

posted February 13, 2008 07:14 AM         

i understand what you mean when you say that everything seems against you and all happening at the same time...

myself i need a job quickly if i want to pay the rent in time, i've got three months to revise before my exams, and it's the final and most important year. i've made a complaint to the police about abuses by my uncle and step-dad and it seems that now is the time everything comes together... i've also been rejected by a guy that i thought was gay as well, and i'm trying to deal with some mystical experiences that i really don't understand.

and this is just what has a direct implication in my current life. i'm not talking about the side issues...

i'm not asking anyone to pity me. i'm a guy after all!!!

but i just wanted to say that i know what you mean... and if nothing can help you to make sense about the reasons for all this, then you can always reassure yourself by thinking that others can be in a pretty bad situation too.

having said that, would your dad have a reason to want to commit suicide? i mean is he a person susceptible to do that? and how far do you live from each other, (to start looking for him)? and your grandma called you about his disappearance but not the police? why? did she think you could find him through the power of the mind?

can you call yourself the police of where he lives and tell them what's going on? and to start to look for him?... if it's been weeks, they should do something. if not, then may be you can go and look for him yourself. waiting is so painful. you can check who saw him last, where, .... and prepare yourself for the worst. at least, in this worst case scenario, you'll have done something. that can help you to forgive yourself if you had been tempted to blame yourself.

TAKE CARE,

P.

ps: when i'm that dramatic, usually it's that everything's alright and i got over excited by my imagination. i've got a bad tempo with life and tend to worry when it's not necessary and vice versa...

ps: (the cats above belong to my friends!!!)

posted February 13, 2008 04:43 PM         

ok so now, do the following for me, please... when you start to beat yourself up or get worried, just chill (1) and think you are ONLY in control of your life (2). only your life. so let's not loose the control.

i wish i could could have flowed your thread so when you looked at it you would have had the real impression about how much some other people could feel for you.

take care buddy.

ps: we never talked together, true, but hopefully soon.

TAKE CARE, and SMILE!!!!!

posted February 13, 2008 07:27 PM         

Sorry your life is not at it's best either. Apparently no one's is. PITY PARTY for all, woohoo!

Yes, my dad has been in and out of mental hospitals several times and he's told me that he's been so close to shooting himself before... I just never thought that he would actually do it. He does a lot of things just for attention. In all honesty, I don't know where he was living. I'm guessing about 4 hours away from me. I don't know anything about what he was doing and I wouldn't know where to begin to look for him... :\

I probably am being over dramatic... I do sometimes worry about things that I should just let go, but it depends on what it is and what mood I'm in. I'm just trying to take my mind off of everything right now. I start doing artsy junk when I get stressed and I start reading a lot. It does help some. I usually just try to avoid stressful situations, but sometimes you can't. I'm just trying to chill as much as possible!

Thanks by the way, you're pretty spiffy looking yourself. Yes, hopefully we'll talk soon. If you have AIM, you can IM me if you like. I'm i3attle0fevrmore

Thanks to all of you who posted! I appreciate it!

posted February 15, 2008 09:19 AM         

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum17/HTML/001711.html