posted November 14, 2008 07:10 AM         

This is how it really works.

Man in bar drinking, talking and laughing with mates.

Woman in same bar, buying self drink, really wishing that some man was buying it for her.

Man looks up. Woman looks up. Eyes meet. Woman looks away. Tells friends not to turn around, who all then proceed to turn around, causing major embarrassment but at same time emphasising interest to man.

After a few more exchanged glances and a smile, and a couple more cocktails with girlfriends, woman plucks up courage to walk over to man.

Woman says, "Hi" TRANSLATION: "I can't believe I'm doing this. I hope I don't make an idiot of myself".
Man says, "Hi" TRANSLATION: "I can't believe it's not butter!"
Woman says, "I don't normally do this". TRANSLATION: "I'm so ******* desperate that I'll do just about anything for a man right now".
Man says, "You're doing great so far". TRANSLATION: "Man, I think I'm gonna get lucky tonight!".
Woman says, "My name is [insert name]". TRANSLATION: "I'm not happy with my current surname and you might just make a fine husband".
Man says, "Pretty name, but not as pretty as you". TRANSLATION: "Oh yeah, look at her **** !"
Woman says, "Can I buy you a drink?". TRANSLATION: "If I buy the first drink will you then pay for everything for the rest of our blissful lives?".
Man says, "Sure thanks, I drink [insert name of beer of choice]". TRANSLATION: "You look okay, but after a couple more of these you'll look really really hot".