posted March 22, 2009 05:46 PM         

What makes them corrupting is the stigma we place around them.

There are good and bad ways to learn the truth.

In the schoolyard, with foul-mouth playmates...

Or at home, with mom. Better he hears it at home first.

The kid is 8. He is already out there in the world.

Mom cant cover his eyes with her wing at all times.

He should learn it the right way. At home.

Also, security should not come from lies, but from human connection.

If mom is brave, and her own anxieties don't cloud the issue,
and if she assures him that he is safe and warm with her...

There should be no problem in talking him through this.

posted March 22, 2009 06:31 PM         

I am a parent, but I'm also sick and dizzy and feverish so maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about either. Even on a good day, I probably wouldn't pass the parental apptitude test. I'm far from perfect or wise, but I do love him. God willing that will see us through. We're learning the ropes as we go.

What I was trying to say was .... let's say my toddler asks me the traditional "Where do I come from?" question. I can say my uterus or I can say Heaven. I don't think the latter is a lie. I don't see it as withholding knowledge. I don't believe it to be overly protective. I do think its more appropriate to his age. Of course he's only two, so this whole thing is beyond the point. And, yes, eight is different than two. And, yes, I am feverish.

More importantly, spunknini, you really do know your little guy better than anyone and although sometimes it sure can be godawful hard to know what the hell to do and when to do it, parenting is, at the end of the day, really about going with your gut, I suppose.

good luck

posted March 22, 2009 06:35 PM         

I appreciate the consideration of all replies & thoughts.

I will go with the truth BUT I will omit one or two details as I don't think he is ready to hear them.

I think he is mainly curious as to why it has the name Venus as he is learning about space & all the planets in our solar system at the moment. That had completely slipped my mind when I asked this. Typical absent minded me.

Answering this one will only lead to more questions anyways so I will see where his mind goes after the first answer. It will certainly be interesting. We always have the best talks & this one will be no different.

LEXX Thanks for the links, they are very helpful.

26T I like your thoughts on asking him. I do that sometimes when I don't understand where he's at in his head when he asks a question.

posted March 22, 2009 06:51 PM         

quote:

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eight is different than two. And, yes, I am feverish

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And who is looking after you? You I guess? It's very hard when they are little (exhausting) & I have to be honest & say I didn't enjoy the whole 'motherhood' deal until my son was more independant from me. That's not to say I didn't love him but I think I was too sleep deprived & stressed to appreciate him as a baby. Zombies make bad parents lol.

posted March 22, 2009 07:02 PM         

(note to steve ~ no, young children do not give you a break)

Ahhh so he's associating the planet with the plant and can't understand how those wack nut scientists made the connection. Of course! Does he know anything about the goddess?

quote:

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He is a deep thinker. I answer his questions as honestly as possible to the best of my ability & when I answer him he seems to be satisfied for the moment but he disappears to his room to lay on his bed & watch the sky to think about it more ...

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Oh my lord, what a cutey!

posted March 22, 2009 07:42 PM         

quote:

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my 6 year old grandson is already asking how babies come out from between moms' legs etc.

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They ask these questions at many ages don't they? I couldn't help but laugh, terrible of me I know.

posted March 22, 2009 07:45 PM         

Spunk, youre son sounds like a real sweetheart.

posted March 22, 2009 07:51 PM         

So l said "well babies come out of their Mummy's bottoms"
(oh dar, what a mistake that was)

"yuck" they said... "is that why you are always running to the loo"

LOL
impossible to get the wording right...

and then my 3yr old said to me in the bath "Mummy i'm so sorry you lost your willy"
WTF???!!!!

2 days later he says to me in the supermarket at the checkout "Mummy, have you found your willy yet?"

posted March 22, 2009 08:18 PM         

I think youv'e lost all credibility now though.

posted March 22, 2009 08:25 PM         

SEX ED.

I vaguely remember watching a video of a woman giving birth & the Brazilian was definitely not in fashion....

I think I shall carry on the tradition of finding things out with the group embarrassment of his peers in the education system.

posted March 22, 2009 08:29 PM         

I don't think it's about age. I think it's about when they're ready to absorb that information. My kids are 9, 7 & 6 and I've seen what they do with information. There's no way I'm giving them the facts of life yet. If you had asked me pre-kids, I would have said sure, tell them the truth at whatever age. Applying it is another thing. They're curious. Some curiousity is best spared until it's right for them. For mine, it's not right for them.

posted March 22, 2009 08:52 PM         

I can't say "i'll do some research and come back to you" cos they will think "but she gave birth to 3 of us, she must know where we came from!!"

posted March 22, 2009 09:13 PM         

Kids certainly have an ironic sense of timing don't they? lol.

posted March 22, 2009 09:22 PM         

quote:

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They're curious.
Some curiousity is best spared until it's right for them.

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posted March 22, 2009 11:10 PM         

I think everyone deserves to know after all the thoughtful replies.

posted March 22, 2009 11:57 PM         

No, admittedly I am not a parent, being 16 immersed in the capital culture of today.

posted March 23, 2009 05:08 AM         

While waiting for him to be dropped off from art class I had a "f*ck it' moment & decided I'm just gonna tell him....................

I told him the guy who named it was a cheeky bugger who said it reminded him of a woman's vagina. (At this point he looked at me in shock with eyebrows so high they would have hit the ceiling if they weren't attached! & he turned away in embarrassment for about 5 seconds) Then I also told about the roman goddess which fired his imagination & his mind to talk about all the space stuff he's been learning for the past week so I thought I was safe at this point. I was very wrong about that.......

Son then asked me if it was Ok to take the plant to school for 'show & tell', which was fine......Until I asked him what he would say.

To quote him; "I want to tell them how it got it's name Venus mum"

ROFL He was very earnest about it too, lol. I had to discourage him from giving that info to the class as it might upset some parents, of which he was very understanding. I also told him that that particular discussion should just remain between us here at home & he can talk about all the other cool things that he likes about it to the class instead, that way no parents will get upset.

posted March 24, 2009 01:45 AM         

I'm bumping for you....

posted March 24, 2009 10:22 AM         

I've dropped the information as different things have come up, trying to include it in with many of our other biology questions and answers.

I, too, have wondered if I should have spared him some of it, but I know that I was aware of sex at his age, and, like snohawk, had simulated the act with friends. I just try to explain it as yet another natural function of our bodies.

He often gets squeamish on me, but we keep it light, and I take his squeamishness to be proof that he does get the underlying gravity of the information. For god's sake-- he doesn't get squirmy over anything else!

I've wondered at times if I may have disclosed too much too soon, but I'd rather do that (gently, of course) than too little too late. Also, by engaging in these conversations while he is young, he's more prepared for me to speak up on these topics when he's older, if that makes sense.

My husband is 32, and the mere mention of anything sexual from his parents (which comes few and far between) gets him flustered!

Just my two cents.