Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Love and Lust

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Love and Lust
sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 01, 2006 08:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
I was in a shop buying a gift a couple of days ago and the guy who works there said to me "men marry for lust and women for love"...

I asked him if he really believed that and he said "yes I do"...

So I said to him that I didnt think it was quite so cut and dried, and at least I hoped not....

If this was the case, and the woman didnt want to have sex any more, does this mean the majority of men would go else where.....

Blimey....I hope not!!

What do ye guys think?

Oh btw the guy who said this is a Taurus who has been married for a while and not had sex for a long time, by the sounds of it...

IP: Logged

Anita41
Knowflake

Posts: 157
From: Norway
Registered: Mar 2005

posted October 01, 2006 03:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anita41     Edit/Delete Message
Interesting...
Peoples motives for marriage is so different I think.
I think about those women who marry for money, and how many of us women would do that if the chance was right in front of us.
Those men marry for sex ofcourse,
but also to show off to their family and friends.

Nowadays some people also marry when they are 40-50 because they are desperate and afraid to be alone for the rest of their lives, after their kids are grown and they are divorced years ago.

In a marriage, if the woman doesnt want to have sex anymore, if I was a man, I'd leave her. Simply because that meant she was rejecting me and my wanting for intimacy, and because the not wanting sex at all shows a huge void in the relationship/marriage in the first place.
And I dont understand why some women are allergic to sex with their own husbands.
Sounds pretty crazy to me...

When I get married (or if)
it would be out of love, but just as importantly because of sex.
I couldnt marry someone I loved if he was completely useless in bed.
Sexual chemistry is a mirror of the relationship.
Great sex and passion = mutual arousing emotional feelings in eachother.
Empty detached sex = no emotional intimacy outside of bed either.

And as for men, I do believe its very important for a man to feel he belongs and feel loved and taken care of by the woman he lives with, who he also deep inside feel and wish to respect and admire.
And I see sex as a part of that belonging and admiration both for men and women.

IP: Logged

DayDreamer
Knowflake

Posts: 4838
From:
Registered: Jul 2003

posted October 01, 2006 06:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DayDreamer     Edit/Delete Message
Id have to be in lust with the guy in order to marry him.

But being in lust is not enough to say Id marry the guy.

There are other criteria, including love which itself is also not enough for marriage.

IP: Logged

themysteryclub
Knowflake

Posts: 320
From: United States of America
Registered: Nov 2005

posted October 03, 2006 12:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for themysteryclub     Edit/Delete Message
I believe the two can exist together, lust and love.

IP: Logged

artlovesdawn
Knowflake

Posts: 1176
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted October 03, 2006 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for artlovesdawn     Edit/Delete Message
.

IP: Logged

OzMeg222
Knowflake

Posts: 940
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted October 03, 2006 01:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for OzMeg222     Edit/Delete Message
I think maybe want woman do things for their men (and also expect men to do things for them) as a sign of their love. Its easy and pleasurable to have sex, I want my man to do the not so pleasant things to help me. That to me proves their love and consideration.

I think if men want to express love only in physical, pleasurable ways thats kinda shallow. And its also not really a partnership.

I want to be in a relationship where we show not only physical love (I do believe thats very important btw) but mutual consideration and generosity.

IP: Logged

ScorpSagSag
Knowflake

Posts: 118
From: Detroit, MI
Registered: Aug 2006

posted October 03, 2006 07:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpSagSag     Edit/Delete Message
It all comes down to lust for the guys. I am not saying this in a judgemental way at all, but I really think the lust factor is by far the biggest factor. Then comes intellectual compatability--can you talk and have a laugh?

I asked my guy this and he denied it up and down, but I think he was just trying to get me to change the subject. lol!

IP: Logged

WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 2276
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005

posted October 03, 2006 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I was in a shop buying a gift a couple of days ago and the guy who works there said to me "men marry for lust and women for love"...

Sounds like someone has mummy issues

IP: Logged

Bear the Leo
Knowflake

Posts: 152
From: In Pidaua's arms
Registered: Jun 2006

posted October 03, 2006 04:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bear the Leo     Edit/Delete Message
I think love and lust are in the eye of the beholder. I must be one of the few guys that is a little different, from reading some of the posts here. I love my wife very deeply. We show it to each other in so many different ways. We help each other clean and cook, we have great communication, we give each other alone time when needed, we love to do things for and with each other, and we also support each other in all we do. It is awesome when you can finally find someone that is like your dream girl come true. So I disagree with the statement that men marry for lust and women marry for love.

IP: Logged

OzMeg222
Knowflake

Posts: 940
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted October 03, 2006 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OzMeg222     Edit/Delete Message
Bear-

Thats exactly what I'm talking about! I'm happy for you guys.

IP: Logged

sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 03, 2006 05:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
""""" I love my wife very deeply"""""


That is such a lovely thing to read.....bless you both.....

And so nice to see a man speak so openly about love....

You brought a tear to my eye sweet man.....

xx

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7154
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted October 06, 2006 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
I married Bear for Lust and he married me for LOVE...


Just kidding... I love my husband deeply and unconditionally. I would not be able to do that if I did not feel secure in his love. By that, I mean I am not one to give my heart to just anyone - being a Sag it scares me. I have kissed a few frogs but never really gave over my heart - only pieces of it.

Somewhere on my happy little path I bumped into Bear. Yep... and everything changed. It was like one of those cartoons where all the whistles go off, fireworks etc...

In him, I could sense a real love. Someone that had been through hurt but still believed in love. It was his willingness to be open, vulnerable and dreamy that allowed me to unlock the padlock to the gate that led to the now lowered drawbridge, and remove the boobie traps around my heart LOL....

WE have an amazing time whether we cook, clean, go out or just stay in. I also LUST after him. I love his kisses, his touch and no one gets my heart (and other regions) racing like him. I know he feels the same physical attraction, but that is not what drew us to each other.

Maybe because we had relationships in the past where we were only physically attracted to the person and that only led us feeling empty.

I love you Bear... you're the best... and I mean that in a Love and Lust kind of way..

GNAGIB - hee hee

IP: Logged

artlovesdawn
Knowflake

Posts: 1176
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted October 08, 2006 11:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for artlovesdawn     Edit/Delete Message
.

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7154
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted October 10, 2006 02:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Artlovesdawn,

I will be moving to Germany to be with Bear in March. He'll be out to AZ from December until then for a class then we'll leave together .

I am extremely excited and trying to learn German as fast as I can LOL..

Thank you for your well wishes

IP: Logged

double trouble gemini
Knowflake

Posts: 458
From: uae
Registered: Dec 2005

posted October 11, 2006 02:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for double trouble gemini     Edit/Delete Message
i also agree love and lust can go together.
nothing wrong with lust if ur already in love with the same person.
i have to feel true love if i want to marry a guy but i also need to feel physicaly/sexually attracted to the guy... if i dont get both,i dont think he's going to be my man!..
but then again alot more than just love/lust can be the reason for wanting to marry someone.

IP: Logged

PhoenixFlight
Knowflake

Posts: 61
From: MN USA
Registered: Oct 2006

posted October 12, 2006 06:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PhoenixFlight     Edit/Delete Message
Pid & Bear,

I am holding out for the kind of love/lust you two have. I won't settle for less!! I want the whole package. I wish you both the best.

Sue,

If this poor clod thinks that, maybe he isn't doing something right. She may not want sex with him if he is a total horn-ball with nothing else to bring to the table. Maybe he doesn't help with the dishes, or reach her on a deep trust level.

Who knows why some people think & feel as they do? It makes me wonder what has happened in that marriage, or any relationship where the love/sex dies.

------------------
When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
AKA - Kim Rogers

IP: Logged

Duality
Knowflake

Posts: 256
From:
Registered: Jul 2003

posted October 14, 2006 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Duality     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Pidaua

Have you two met on this board?

Congrats to the both of you

IP: Logged

pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7154
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted October 16, 2006 12:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Hi dualty,

Bear and I met in Arizona while he was at Fort Huachuca. I introduced him to LindaLand (he is the only person that I have ever shared LindaLand with - other than people I have met here). We were married on June 29, 2006 and I will be moving to Germany in March

I have to run.. time to get out to a meeting up North.


Bear -

I love you honey.... sorry we won't get to really talk until I wake you up in the morning.

Kisses!!!


~Pidaua

IP: Logged

comica23
Knowflake

Posts: 416
From: Portugal
Registered: Sep 2006

posted October 16, 2006 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
Men love what they desire, and women desire what they love.

And it's not just about lust.. A man that found out that his partner to be interesting (desireable personality and etc), might come to love her. And a woman that found out how much she loves her partner more and more, might come to desire him more and more (desiring to be together with him, etc).

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2007

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a