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Author Topic:   Some Women(?)
sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 12, 2007 10:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
I have always felt comfortable with men, although women have featured strongly in my life, I seemed to trust men more.

There is this women who I am kinda friendly with, our sons are friends. She doesnt have a man...they split up. She winks at my husband in the playground. He finds her unattractive...she likes him....he thinks its funny!!

There is this other woman....she also split from her man. She likes my man too. We were all in the pub one night and she wouldnt leave him alone....in the end he walked away from her and told her not to ask him to fight her battles for her (some guy was chatting her up and she was acting like a damsel in distress).

She also wanted to be friends with me, but I find her and I have nothing in common.

Why these women cannot find a single man to go after, I do not know.

I met a lovely Scorpio man who I wrote of here. We could have become friends, but I "put it out there" for him not to come near me, my fear was we would pull each other too far....he is with another and has a child. We were very attracted to each other...

Why do women do this.....how would they feel if it was their man and a woman was coming on to them?

Whey cant they put themselves in the "other woman"s shoes"

I suppose the only consolation is that karma will catch up with all of us in time....do unto others etc

Why are they so selfish and at times deadly?

Hmmmmm....

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Mama Mia
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Posts: 2253
From:
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posted January 12, 2007 10:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Well Sue for real some women are just stand da dank..No morals or values...However I would not even worry or let it bother me. Personally it would be flattering to know that all these ladies want my man and he wants me and only me. As long as your man is letting them know whats up out his own mouth and I would want him to do that, I wouldn't feel the need to step in. As long as he is handling it and everyone knows whats up so what..Action speaks louder then words..But as I stated above that is why some women do what they do..

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 12, 2007 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Hey MM

Thanks....

No its not so much a worry for me but more of an observation.... I just see women doing this a lot all over and it is something I wanted to raise...

I have been told by many psychics that he is my true blue (inc Lotus)...I believe that for sure.

Its just that I wish women would cop on to themselves a bit more...

And I begin to understand my own motives now for trusting men as I do???

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3150
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted January 12, 2007 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
Hey SusieG,

I see this too, but from the other side.
I wait on men and women and sometimes friendly can be misconstrued.
I try to be careful that nice and helpful doesn't turn into any kind of flirting or worse. But because there is alcohol involved I can't always help what a woman might think. There is a fine line to follow. I try to cater to the woman to avoid potential misunderstandings.

You're happy and secure with your husband so just laugh it off and consider yourself above it all.

But yeah some women are tacky.

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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 170
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted January 12, 2007 12:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,
This is the just the way some women are!!
I know its upsetting but if ur man is hot then you only have urself to blame

You know, I am not the kind of person to get upset by this because it actually turns me on. Seriously, I find nothing sexier than a man who loves a woman and women who love men. They're not blind...let them look and get a visual feast and thats it.
I would find it very dishonest if an attractive woman did walk past and my boyfriend didnt check them out. I would. I love beauty in all its guises. I cant stand dishonesty (Yup Sue: I have a heck of a lot of Libra in me).

As long as you trust in your relationship there is nothing to be upset about. Just find it funny.
And as long as you aren't one of those women...or desire to be then just find them funny.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 12, 2007 01:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Hey thanks ladies

Yeah I hear ye, but it astounds me when its women who are friends!!!!

I know a couple of guys who are attractive but they are with women I know well....so would be careful about how friendly I was coming across to em.

That is a bit different to women checking yer man out in the street....yeah that can be a turn on Dew, I understand that.

I think with me being a Scorpio woman, it is about integrity....thine shall not covert my friends man...etc

To me, that is stepping over the line a bit...?

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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 170
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted January 12, 2007 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
I also love men too.
And I find most woman say they get along better with men.
And I do think thats a real shame.
I guess its because, for the most part, we are biased towards each other.
Woman have this whole pseudo-mother affection towards men. And what we forgive men for, we dont women.

We should affect a change now, darn it!!, and begin to embrace with more compassion, those women who pi$s us off.

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Dew
Knowflake

Posts: 170
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted January 12, 2007 01:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dew     Edit/Delete Message
sue g, when you put it like that I agree with you.
I am all for integrity. I had no idea they were ur friends.
Then they arent true friends cos thats not cool.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 12, 2007 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Too true Dew....I watch myself around people more these days......

Embrace all peoples I suppose is a great way to be....

I am learning with some caution...been burned before...it makes one wary doenst it?

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Gemini Nymph
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posted January 12, 2007 02:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini Nymph     Edit/Delete Message
To touch on what Dew was saying, yes I think we do forgive men more readily for things we won't other women. First off - we are extremely competitive with othe owmen, always looking for something to make us feel we're better than those other "floosies." When we start looking down our noses at other women, writing them off for their alledge lack of self-respect or integrity or morals, we really need to stop and take a self-inventory. We women need to admit that at any given time we're the most vicious, nastiest, ruthless, self-serving creatures on the planet. Men don't have a thing on us because we're *good* at it - we're brilliantly passive-aggressive. We point out the flaws in other women to distract people from our own fault, and in essence we're capitalizing on thier weaknesses to get ahead in the social status/mating game. Yeah, so who's stabbing who in the back now?

Also, I agree with Dew about the mothering thing, but its' more than that. Sometimes it's because we want to mother them, sometimes we want them to be a father figure to us - basically we want their approval and acceptence the most. We are more willing to bend and forgive to get that approval from them, hence why we seem to think we get along better with men than women. But that's not always the case - sometimes we're just fooling ourselves. And since we're in this to-the-death struggle with other women for "mating rights" we can't even admit to ourselves that this is about winning the man's approval - it'd make us look weak, and then it's only a matter of time some other woman sinks a knife into our back.

I adore men. I really, really do. I admit to not have strong male role models in my life as a child, and this does fuels my passionate love for men. But I've healed enough to strike a balance. Now I adore them more for being able to be father figures and good complimentary companion for our feminine selves, instead feeling I needed find a man who had those qualities in him to fill up a void insided me.

I think for women who have unresolved issues and unfulfilled needs, they can be prone to act certain ways in desperate attempts to get men's approval. I don't hate those women - I don't trust them, but I don't hate them. I feel very sorry for them. I know what it's like to have a hole inside you that you yearn to fill. I've been in bad relationships and have made bad choices because of that. I can't put myself above these women, because I'm really no different. I'm just fortunate to have found healing, and I can only hope someday those women can too.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 12, 2007 03:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Whichever way it is put

Its still wrong to entice another woman's man...

For me, no amount of psychology or analysis can make that right...

Marriage wrecking is wrong...and the person doing it is in my eyes wrong

Of course if they are aware of thier faults and are prepared to heal it....then I applaud them

Do unto others.......if only more could think this way

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MysticMelody
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Posts: 3207
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted January 12, 2007 04:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Incurable Libra flirt here.
My friends are all guys, always have been. If there is nothing between us but friendship the wives feel it and there is no problem. I have always did my best to bend over backwards for the wives and these days actually stay in for "girls" night (which bores the crap out of me) while the guys go out, which I never would have done before they were married. I do it simply to make the wives comfortable. One of my best buddies (from high school)'s wife has become a best friend to me.
Anyway... I would NEVER sleep with a married guy, even if I felt "in love" with him. It is not only stupid, but incredibly disrespectful to women everywhere.
HOWEVER, I have no problem with giving love to the men I love and will not miss a chance to point out the great things they accomplish and to applaud all of the amazing things about them. I try to do this with women and it usually is not as well received, but the buddy's wife I was talking about enjoys me for it and flourishes under my positive loving vibes to her. If my positive and loving behavior creates a problem, then that's the wife's problem, because I'm not stopping. SOMEBODY needs to tell my friend he is great.
Women who wink and strut for men who are clearly coupled on the street are annoying and need to be slapped. Being jealous of a woman who has been in a man's life for years is futile because the two have either already known each other long enough to know they aren't meant for anything beyond friendship, or they actually do have a serious strong bond which won't go away even if they both do end up married to other people. They might actually be the two who are "really" married.
That being said...
if YOUR friends wink at your man when you aren't looking, they aren't your friends and you need to stop being around them. I practically ignore (dangerously to the point of being rude) my female friend's men. I would NEVER want them to have to wonder.

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1scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 2249
From:
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posted January 12, 2007 04:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message
I had a woman do this to me once.

I saw who she walked in with... did it back... she went off I just winked at her They left... poor baby...

Sorry... that was my immature vindictive side that came rushing out..

My rationalization was: If she could dish it out, she should be able to take it.

Guess not

Edit: I know, I know... the proper thing would have been to just rise above it... but I'm only human.
_________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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Natural111
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Posts: 325
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Sep 2006

posted January 12, 2007 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Natural111     Edit/Delete Message
Wow, Sue, that sort of junk happens to me ALL THE TIME. EVERY TIME I'm out with an attractive guy.

Once at a party this girl shamelessly pursued the guy I was with. The thing is she was looking at me more than him. She was only 18! And I was like 35? I think. Serious self esteem issues, I imagine. I find that sort of behaviour moreso in younger girls though because they haven't come into who they are yet, and are always looking for the better model. You know, if I can get her man's affections then that means I'm prettier or better. Stupid stuff like that. I think that's why any woman does it. To make themselves feel better than the other woman. My ex boyfriend used to see it. He'd say, baby, they're just giving me this attention because I'm with you. And the guy I went to the party with admitted it to. Except he was trying to affect my emotions so he put on a show for me. The scorpio. That's another story.

All of the women here should make a pact. Let's all vow never to be that woman

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lioneye68
Knowflake

Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 13, 2007 12:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
Gemini Nymph - You rock the feckin casba. Everyone, please take a moment to re-read her post. ....we'll wait.... ok.
Now, discuss.
What do we think of a man who flirts with a married or otherwise committed lady? Not such a crime, huh? He's smitten. Can't blame a guy for being smitten, inspite of morals and social convention. He's being guided by his oh-so-compelling attraction - perhaps it's even a "soul union!" he's discovered. The lady is flattered. She considers the possibility. We're all swooning.

This is just as inappropriate. Ladies, if it's ok for a man to flirt you up, then it's ok for a lady to flirt up your man.

Why do people flirt with people who are clearly taken? I dunno. I suppose because they're looking for a trump, or some kind of affirmation that their last mate shouldn't have left them on the loose. They should have tried harder. Women need to feel desirable, because we tend to be defined by how wanted we are by men. Maybe if you were cheated on, you may spill that karma forward by trying to get someone else to cheat with you on their spouse. That would confirm that it wasn't your fault. It could happen to anyone. If you've been caught in a love triangle, you could easily change roles in another love triangle...if you're not wise enough to ensure that the insanity stops with you. Really, it does no good to pass that insanity on.

Sue, your best defence is to be the best freind these gals have ever known. Show them what a force they have to contend with in you. You're no stupid girl. There's a reason he loves you fiercly (as fiercly as a Virgo can love)...and they will love you too. They will come to realize how foolish they were to think they could compete with that. Not because you're awful, but because you're too awesome to compete with. They'll feel awfully silly one day, to even dabble with the idea of luring your guy away from you. They may even become competitive amongst each other for YOUR attention.

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hippichick
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Posts: 1899
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted January 13, 2007 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
I think it is sad, as I too connect so fully more with men than women, however, I support the sisterhood and my soul weeps for those "women" who are not self-actualized enough to be unto themselves~~~

For whatever reason the are seeking attention to fulfill a void deep within themselves that male "attention" can not fulfill~~

Pray for them, ladies, they are our wounded sisters..........

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teaologist
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From: New York
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posted January 13, 2007 01:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaologist     Edit/Delete Message
.

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Dulce Luna
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From: The Asylum
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posted January 13, 2007 01:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
Actually, both sexes pi$$ me off at one point or another. Girls because most are just mad catty; guys because most just don't get it.

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teaologist
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posted January 13, 2007 01:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaologist     Edit/Delete Message
.

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Natural111
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Posts: 325
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Sep 2006

posted January 13, 2007 02:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Natural111     Edit/Delete Message
Teaologist, I think for the most part, I see it as a generational thing. I know a lot of my girlfriends are generation X'ers like me,33-43. And we may notice another woman's attractiveness but don't let it define our own attractiveness. But, I call this younger generation, the cosmetic generation because they're so inundated with Media images and their tastes are formed by commercial capitalism. I mean, a girl is a girl, and yeah we had our issues back in the 80's but not to this exteme. Our issue was, who can look and think the least like the satus quo. Where today's generation is so defined by their outward appearance, without thought to the inward that connects the two. Like, I dress like this because? Well, back then it was because, like, "We don't need no education, we don't need no mind control." I think that defines our generation precisely.

So thus, I call this generation, the cosmetic generation. And it's so bad that young men are also defined by their outward appearance with no connecting thought or belief. The new Metrosexual. I live in the land of metrosexuals, and it's hard to find one my age, and unless he's super immature. And for the cosmetic generation, I don't see it getting better anytime soon unless they wise up to what's manipulating them. Because corporate capitalism has a huge hold on young people today. And they're selling them, Brittany Spears, and who's the other one, um, Jessica Simpson and the rest of the plastic images. So, competition amongst women is big business. It sells a lot of beauty products. It sells tons of clothing. It sells body parts. It sells magazines as we aspire to be an image. And for men, it sells a fantasy. And it makes them want a fantasy. And makes them tell us we're "hot" because hot is the fantasy. So we aspire to be the fantasy. And we think, I have to be hotter than her because the man wants hot and we want male attention. So, when you're older you realize, that male attention isn't all it's cracked up to be. The attention of the one man that you want to be with is all that matters. You can touch, feel it, experience it. The rest, well, who cares if I turn him on. Heck, I don't want him! But, then as a woman, you do want to look good but as an adult you know it doesn't validate you. So, you find less bitchiness, in MATURE adult circles of women. And there are plenty of those!

So please, look forward to growing up. It gets much better! All I have to contend with in the jealousy department these days are with young girls because they think I'm younger than what I am. And I have to go to a lot of these industry gatherings. So, I make it a point to call them, honey, or thank you sweetheart, in that, um, sweetie I'm old enough to be your teenage mother sort of way. Sometimes that makes it even worse though! Really, they need help. This cosmetic generation needs a REVOLUTION!

And that's my rant for the night. LOL.

Sigh....

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lioneye68
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Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 13, 2007 03:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
PS: I've experienced this too. Just recently, went to my sweetie's Christmas party, and at the end of the night (after much leaning closely and chatting with him), his coworker hugged him goodbye and said (with me right beside him)"I'll give YOU your Christmas present tomorrow..and smiled & winked. Didn't even glance at me.... I could have been the waiter for all she cared. I just said "okeyyyyyy" under my breath. Nobody heard me, not even him. I know he'd never go for her. She's so not his type, physically, mentally, or otherwise. Ok, she's an obese alcoholic recovering crackhead, who has 2 kids that she pawned off on her elderly mother permanently. Totally not his type - nobody's type, really. I was trying to figure out why she would act that way, then it dawned on me. The only attention she gets from men, is when they think they might not mind f*cking something. So, that's the energy she puts out. It must work for her. Some women are just sad. They get their affirmations however they can. It's very sad that females so desperately need affirmations from men, and will seek it at all costs, but that's the machine of society.

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lioneye68
Knowflake

Posts: 6062
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003

posted January 13, 2007 04:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lioneye68     Edit/Delete Message
PPS: I did not even bother to bring this up later, although part of me wanted to. I didn't see the point. If I had, he would just say "What? She's discusting."...

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 13, 2007 05:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Hey ladies (sorry if any gentlemen answered)

Thanks for your replies.....awesome.....all of em!!!!

Lioneye...your story made me smile, well the moral behind it anyway. As if yer man would want that woman....really!!!! What are some women thinking about?

The two I speak of are quite sad both socially inept and I cannot even be bothered to befriend them to be honest.

Of course, if they were to step over the line, I could always stare at them from a distance...

That should do the trick....or turn em into frogs...

And no I aint joking

Thanks...you guys are a wonderful family

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hippichick
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Posts: 1899
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted January 13, 2007 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Natural---Well said!!

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teaologist
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Posts: 681
From: New York
Registered: Sep 2006

posted January 13, 2007 12:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaologist     Edit/Delete Message
Haha, well said indeed, Natural.

Well, I'm hitting 24 this yr... but I've always looked at my own generation (Gen-Y??) from the outside. Apart from due love of clothes, my friends are quite nerdy with quite nerdy interests...

Was disillusioned by drama that happened in high school (not *to* me, but *around* me)... and even so in college. My [Catholic] HS was full of the girls you're talking about. I wonder if they are part of the 'competition' hittin it up at the clubs. :X

I like the fact that getting older gives you more ability to filter. As in, not as much getting stuck with so-and-so in the same playpen... or gym class haha...

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