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Author Topic:   Love Boyfriend But Have A STRONG Connection To Another Man
Pimpette33
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: NY
Registered: Jan 2009

posted January 21, 2009 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pimpette33     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Guys,

I would appreciate some insight and advice.

I am an Aquarius (Feb 6th 1983)
my boyfriend is an Aquarius (Jan 25th 1983)
and the other guy D is an Aries (April 15th 1983)


I know for a fact that I love my boyfriend; he would make a great husband and a great dad. I also know that if we stayed together we would live a very happy & stable life. He is my best friend, someone who just accepts and loves me for who I am. We have been together for 7 years (on and off)

on the other hand

I am magnetically drawn to D. I have known him for about 4 years now (we first started dating when my boyfriend and I were on one of our ďbreaksĒ). When we first met he wasnít ready to be serious, he didn't want to hurt me so we parted ways but always kept in touch. But something keeps pulling us back together. Whatever it is, it has this hold on me that I can't shake. Its not like we connect in terms of having great conversation and him just accepting me the way I am, the way my boyfriend does. Quite frankly sometimes he can be such a jerk but I see past the wall he puts up and knows there is better person behind it all. We just connect on this weird level, a deep level that I canít explain and he feels it also. We have since spoken and he says he is ready to be serious but I told him he was too late.

I am not going to leave my boyfriend for another man especially when I do really love my boyfriend but why is D still in the picture, why canít I get him out of my mind? Why do we have such a strong connection after all these years? I guess my main questions are, how do I know who I should really be with? Is it possible that D and I have a soul connection or he is my twin soul flame?

Any thoughts on the situation would help immensely

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Peri
Moderator

Posts: 2941
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003

posted January 21, 2009 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
welcome to LL, Pimpette33

i dont know if that will clarify why you are so drawn to D but anyway i think you might find the read interesting

quote:
"Emotionally we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional vibrational level, resonate with us as being familiar. It feels to us as if we have a strong connection to those people. In other words, we have an inner radar system that causes us to be attracted to people who resonate vibrationally in a way that is familiar on an emotionally intimate level. We are attracted to people whose inner emotional dynamic is similar to our most powerful and earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love - our parents."

"Codependents focus on others to keep from looking at self. We need to let go of focusing on the other person and start focusing inside to understand what is happening. Our adult patterns, the people we have been in relationship with, are symptoms - effects of our childhood wounding. We cannot solve a problem without looking at the cause. Focusing on symptoms (which our society is famous for: war on drugs; war on poverty: etc.) will not heal the cause.

The reason that we get involved with people who are unavailable, is because we are unavailable."

"It is not possible to love someone enough to get them to stop hating, and being unavailable, to them self. We need to let go of that delusion. We need to focus on healing our self - on understanding and healing the emotional wounds that have driven us to pick people who could not give us what we want emotionally. We need to develop some healthy emotional intimacy with ourselves before we are capable of being available for a healthy relationships with someone who is also available."



http://joy2meu.com/letting_go.html

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Pimpette33
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: NY
Registered: Jan 2009

posted January 21, 2009 03:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pimpette33     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Peri for the quick response.

This def. puts a different spin on it. I do feel that there must be something in my spirit or soul that recognizes something in his spirit or soul.

I do think that wanting something that is unavailable has deep rooted implications of how you feel about yourself or possibly others in you life ( my father who was never around)

Now D is saying he is available, he is ready to step up and part of me wants to explore the possibilities with him, to see where our union can take us.

But going back to your point, I have a feeling that if I were with D in a serious relationship, I would want to be with my current boyfriend instead... i know confusing right.

I don't know if it comes from me just really wanting what I don't have and being an indecisive person or just from me really feeling a deep down connection with both men and knowing that I can't have them at the same time... sigh

Whatever it is I want to be happy....stable and consistent happy would be with my current boyfriend. Exciting & passionate happy would be with D....


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Peri
Moderator

Posts: 2941
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003

posted January 21, 2009 04:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
maybe you are still chasing your father that was never around? if you really want some insight into which would be better for you, you can do a family constellation and see what's really going on

info on family constellations:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/001533.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/001533.html

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oneruledbymars
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Posts: 324
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted January 21, 2009 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars     Edit/Delete Message
I think you might be missing the point Pimpette.
You wrote:

"Whatever it is I want to be happy....stable and consistent happy would be with my current boyfriend. Exciting & passionate happy would be with D...."

If you had neither of these men in your life and you were alone. Would you be happy?

------------------
Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun

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Pimpette33
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: NY
Registered: Jan 2009

posted January 21, 2009 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pimpette33     Edit/Delete Message
I will look into the family constellations. That seems interesting

But I would like any other opinions based outside of the father daughter missing connection.

Yes oneruledbymars I would be happy with neither and by myself. When I was describing happy in my original post I meant happy in a relationship not happy in general

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Mama Mia
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Posts: 2956
From:
Registered: Jun 2005

posted January 21, 2009 04:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
"But I would like any other opinions based outside of the father daughter missing connection."

I agree does not always have to be the case..Plenty of stories come here and I hear on the internet about those soul connections where ppl are married and happily at that and meet a certain person and they have no idea what happen to them all of a sudden they can't get this person out of their head and what not..I am trying to figure out just what causes that kind of connection..Its hard to fight but when a person loves their husban or wife they fight it..However that other person will forever be thought of even if its from time to time..

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oneruledbymars
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Posts: 324
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted January 21, 2009 05:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars     Edit/Delete Message
I see what your saying now Pimpette, sorry about that.
I think though for this one you have to look at the situation and decide which relationship is healthier for you. Which man adds to your energy, and which one doesn't. Astrology can show you how many ways the scenario can play out, but your inner self must ultimately be your guide. Take this question to yourself in meditation. And pay attention to how the Universe answers you, it always does, you must be able to recognize it though.
Since we are living in a time of accelerated Karma we go through so many lifetimes in one. And oftens times we are faced with intense Soulmate relationships that we can't avoid, in each case you must remember, you chose, this. So dont feel guilty or beat yourself up for having these feelings, they are the part of your destiny that you cannot control. The next step though you can control. So now meditate deeply and ask your higher self the best path you should take. And trust it will answer you. But the only way over is through, so while you cannot avoid destiny, you can make the wisest decision right now for you, and in the process make the Karma alot easier to manage and for me that usually equals happiness or at least the fullest measure of it possible, lol .


------------------
Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun

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Lucia23
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Posts: 648
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted January 22, 2009 02:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
But going back to your point, I have a feeling that if I were with D in a serious relationship, I would want to be with my current boyfriend instead... i know confusing right.

Not confusing at all, very normal and understandable. It sounds like an occasion for Door #3. You aren't actually interested in a one-on-one, forever relationship with either of these guys (which is totally understandable and okay), but you really really wish you were. It's a time in your life when you really need to explore the world outside of one (or even two) committed relationships. When you have your Saturn Return, you'll go through some intense, important transformations. The time for you to commit to one person will come several years after the Saturn Return is over and you've been able to really explore and experience those changes.

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MysticMelody
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Posts: 4868
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted January 22, 2009 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Mars, I love the things you say. They are so beautiful and so helpful and so wonderful. Blessings and love to you today. What everyone else said is excellent and perfect for the thread also, of course... Mars, you just speak directly to my heart and so gently. The eternal windy winter that is me... finds such comfort near your blazing fire. You warm and uplift my spirit.

Capricorn Rising
Moon in Capricorn
Libra Sun in the 8th House


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Pimpette33
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: NY
Registered: Jan 2009

posted January 22, 2009 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pimpette33     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks all for your insightful replies...

In a way everyone makes a valid point

Mars I def. need to reach inside myself to find the answer to this one, but somehow I already think I know what that answer already is....

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oneruledbymars
Knowflake

Posts: 324
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted January 22, 2009 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars     Edit/Delete Message
Awww. Mystic, thats quite possibly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I just want to give you a big ole hug right now! lol Hell why not....XXXXX.... (5 big ones equal one huge one!, lol)
You know its funny that you have so much Capricorn, I seem to have very deep and meaningful relationships with the Caps in my life. Whatever the case there is definitely something about you because, I feel the same way when I read your words, you speak one of languages of my soul.
I wonder which past life we spent together?
Whatever the case thank you for the kind words, many blessings and love to you too hon. Muah!

Pimpette,
Your welcome, and just for the record I think you do too. *wink*

------------------
Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun

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emma_duncan
Knowflake

Posts: 138
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 23, 2009 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for emma_duncan     Edit/Delete Message
pimpette can u post the pictures of all three charts....i can then give u my take on wht might be gng on....i hope u have exact time of birth for all 3 charts

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raj_105_2001
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Posts: 1345
From: Chennai
Registered: Apr 2001

posted January 24, 2009 02:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for raj_105_2001     Edit/Delete Message
quote:

I already think I know what that answer already is....

A typical Aquarian trait.

Will you share the answer with us?

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Pimpette33
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From: NY
Registered: Jan 2009

posted January 26, 2009 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pimpette33     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know how to "chart" to get more info. If someone can send a link on how to do that , that would be helpful. I am new to all of this (as if you canít tell)

I don't know when D was born

My boyfriend was born around 6:00 am and I was born early in the morning around 3:00 am (I think). Sorry I couldnít get more precise info.

Also, the answer that I already know is that when it comes to who adds to my life, who I connect with and inspires me to be a better person, thereís no competition, thatís my boyfriend. He truly is my best friend and rock. In the long term I want to be with my boyfriend.

(its just that sometimes I find myself strongly wanting D and I guess I should continue to ignore those feelings :/ , I just wish I didn't feel them at all)

Thanks again for all the great responses!

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GemLover
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Posts: 411
From:
Registered: Aug 2008

posted January 27, 2009 02:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
For another perspective... even strong connections can come and go. And in a serious long-term relationship you may become attracted to other people from time to time, but even that is normal... it's what you do or don't do about it that matters. If you have a strong enough love for your boyfriend then your infatuation with D won't matter and you can recognise it as just an infatuation that in all likelihood will pass. I think that everyone we become attracted to does resonate with us in some way, or there would be no attraction. You're very young though... at this point in your life, do you really want a stable and committed relationship? I admit at 33 years old I've been in two very long-term relationships, and to an extent that can make you feel like you're "missing out on something", ie the excitement factor that you seem to feel with D. But that very excitement factor too would wane if you got into a serious relationship with him. It was a bit of a warning bell when you said he can be a jerk though... would you break up your relationship for someone who you already openly acknowledge can be a jerk? To be with a jerk and think you can change him is not worth the effort or the heartbreak.

While in relationships I myself have felt similar to the way you do right now. Years later I've found that some of the people I was attracted to then, have changed in ways that don't really resonate with who I've now become... or alternatively I've thought about little things they said or did, and come to the conclusion that they would have never been right for me after all. lol.

There's usually a Mars connection when I do get attracted to someone... but Mars is not everything.

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 4868
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted January 27, 2009 10:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
I have noticed that when there is a strong connection, often there is meant to be an exchange of some sort. You are brought together to share something. They might give you an actual physical item. They might give you a piece of information or wisdom that you need or you will give the same to them. There might be a lesson one or both of you is meant to learn. When the exchange is made, the urge subsides. Maybe you can ask God/Universe/Higher Self what this exchange is meant to be. ♥

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future_uncertain
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Posts: 3086
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted January 27, 2009 12:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
I like that, Mystic.

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GemLover
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Posts: 411
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posted January 27, 2009 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
I think there is probably a lesson involved. Who knows what that may be. It may be an important personal insight, or to bring to light something that might be "missing" in the current relationship. I think that everyone we come into contact with in some important way, has a message or a lesson for us. I agree about meditating on the idea and/or asking for the answer to be revealed.

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Ariefairy
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Posts: 135
From: Mars
Registered: May 2008

posted January 27, 2009 02:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ariefairy     Edit/Delete Message
Aquarius has a star-attraction to Aries... your attraction as it seems maybe the result of forces beyond your power. my advice...if its just the skin of the hot milk that attracts you, dont go there. be strong, and , appreciate what you have. think wisely...

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GemLover
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From:
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posted January 27, 2009 11:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with that, Ariefairy. The devastation of a relationship that is real and loving, for the sake of an attraction, can have far-reaching consequences. Maybe the lesson here is to decide for yourself what's most important?

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Ariefairy
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From: Mars
Registered: May 2008

posted January 28, 2009 10:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ariefairy     Edit/Delete Message

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