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Author Topic:   failed marriage/ what happened?
seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 24, 2010 10:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
as I referred in my prior postings. I separated last fall with my ex of many many years. I am interested to see if there was anything going on astrologically...just curious. I have some other spiritual hits that I have gotten but I am curious what the stars say...thanks ahead of time...

here is our synastry...

our composite with transits at the time we separated...

as you can see, we had a pretty strong chart...what happened astrologically?

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Benedict Moon*
Knowflake

Posts: 876
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted June 24, 2010 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message
There are some interesting oppositions in this association. This suprises me since people with oppositions usually find some sort of compromise...unless one of them is not very evolved or mature.

The Moon-Moon one is a big one, and its supposed to have worked for alot of people here so this suprises me. Your lifestyles or your comfort zones seem to be at odds. I'll put it in sign terms for you: his Moon is in Capricorn which tends to suppress emotional expression while your Cancer Moon is very expressive and intense. I'm gathering that you probably found him to be emotionally flat? You both have Moon in the 11th though, so the common ground could be wide social circles or the need to invite everyone to your home.

There's an Opposition from his Neptune to your Venus which is definitely generational so its negligable. I'll ask the question anyways: did you have any high hopes or ideas about him that were dashed? Did you leave the union feeling disillusioned? His neptune is conjunct Mercury so perhaps he made promises to you that he never went through with?


Your Mars also touches his Sun-Jupiter Opposition, you may have been very active together but since its on the Jupiter side (opposing his Sun) I suspect it may have been competitive too. Sometimes the male in the Sun/Mars hard aspects can be found to be a little chauvinistic which angers the woman (no matter whether she's sun or mars). Atleast that's how I've seen it play out.


I also see a Venus-Pluto square...let me say that I have no idea why Venus/Pluto associations are so highly acclaimed here because someone always has to be in control while the other feels weak and shame because of the compulsiveness of their feelings. Its also a generational aspect your ex husband (venus) would have with anyone his age, so I'm gonna be careful with this one too. His venus is in Capricorn as well, which would reinforce the 'prostitute' side of this aspect as well. Perhaps he felt he had no control so he would withold affection unless you gave over some control to him? I'm just throwing some possibilities out there so feel free to negate ANY of this.

Overall, it looks like you found alot of activities to do together, but didn't understand eachother on some of the most basic levels...except for communication. That doesn't seem to have been so bad.

I haven't even gotten into house overlays, and I apologize...hopefully someone else gives an expert opinion.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 24, 2010 08:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
what was the basic thing here is that for the most part, in general...we got along on teh day to day...we didn't get along spiritually, we communicated well but thought and felt totally different. He had massive and I mean massive control issues to the point where I didn't felt like I couldn't live the life I wanted to or have the family life I wanted to. Let's not even get the physical stuff, I won't go there but in the end...it was roomates living together taking care of kids and that is about it to be honest with you..in a nutshell..I wanted more.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 24, 2010 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
okay there was more than that, but yeah...we both needed to do alot of growing up and stop expecting the other to take care of them...may many issues.

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Benedict Moon*
Knowflake

Posts: 876
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted June 24, 2010 09:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Benedict Moon*     Edit/Delete Message
What you're saying about feeling totally different sounds alot like the Moon-Moon opposition to me, and there's a quincunx from your moon to his Sun. When that happens, there is absolutely NO common ground. Atleast with the opposition, there was the Cardinal polarity in common. And with his Venus in Cap square Pluto (and you activating it with your own pluto), I'm not surprised there were control issues.

I couldn't imagine living with that as a gemini venus myself, it must have been interesting.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 24, 2010 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
I put up with it for years because I felt like I was being taken care of...and he was healing my insecurities I had..but just like all children, we grow up, and realize we want real relationships in which you can share your thoughts and ideas, and they are appreciated, and not treated like hobbies.

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Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 25, 2010 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taurean_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
Seems to me like you guys were both very dependent on each other but you grew up and he didn't. Codependency and control issues come hand in hand. If you weren't able to share you ideas and thoughts with him, and feel unappreciated, then maybe he's not the one for you. Have you tried marriage therapy? I think that shoud be the last resort before divorce.
I'm sure you've already tried talking to him. Usually when marriages fall apart it's because both feel unappreciated, uncared for, not respected, etc. but all of that contributes to the lack of intimacy that is the major factor in breaking up. I'm sorry.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 25, 2010 09:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
we were in marriage counseling for three years..and he would say one thing to the therapist and then do another...after three years, I noticed a pattern. He didn't grow up because he thought he didn't have to...I am never one to just give up without trying.

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Dy-na-mi-tee
Knowflake

Posts: 201
From: Cloud 22, Jupiter Ave, Lalaland
Registered: Jun 2010

posted June 25, 2010 05:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dy-na-mi-tee     Edit/Delete Message
It could be a good idea to post the wedding-day chart - with transits (for the time you broke up).

I've often read that *firsts* are very significant to the way the relationship evolves long-term: First Meeting, Engagement Day, Wedding Day. But the Wedding Day is the most important.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 25, 2010 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
okay....I can't right this second but I will before the end of tonight thank for the suggetions

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 27, 2010 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
Okay sorr that this took me a day or two to get to it..was really busy but here is our wedding day with transits of when we separated...

insights? I am not seeing anything but I am still new at all this!

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 27, 2010 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
omg..how do I delete that post! I did the chart wrong..dang it.

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 27, 2010 09:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
here it really is! sorry!

insights?

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2818
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009

posted June 27, 2010 08:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Ruler of the 7th, Mercury, is totally unaspected.
Lousy communication, or a lack of it - or the opposite, lots and lots of talking, talking, talking, but nothing getting figured out?

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seeleah
Knowflake

Posts: 84
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009

posted June 27, 2010 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeleah     Edit/Delete Message
Um, we talked just fine, I understood him..he understood me..we just didn't think care about the same stuff really. and we didnt' always agree! it got to the point later that there wasn't really honest communication...communciation were we would "work things out" but no action. if that makes any sense...gave me alot of false hope...eventually I just stopped talking period, I was finding myself asking..why? he isn't going to take it the right way and he doesn't care anyways...I know it sounds harsh, but he just didn't take what I found important in life seriously at all..kind of sad. But, I got alot of growth from this and two amazing little boys!

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