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Author Topic:   Picking the wrong guy over and over again
SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 148
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 13, 2010 11:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message
OK, so got together with a friend of a friend this weekend. There was a mutual attraction but till now he was caught up in ending a relationship, i was healing from my broken relationship and suddenly it happened. But yeah, he is on the list of what I am trying to avoid in a guy, he is latin, a PhD student, younger than me. It feels like repeating old patterns but he is actually a very sweet and gentleman guy and perhaps I am underestimating him? He treated me with respect and kindness.
I am not sure of the connection we felt. I am a little wary of letting a guy in so deeply as I was very burned last time and it has taken 6 months getting over it. Perhaps this was just fun but am concerned I have not learnt my lesson and it is repeating.

He is a Leo and I am a saggie.

Him: 14/08/1987 Portugal
Me: 26/11/1983 Australia

Sparkling

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 53
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 13, 2010 07:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
on the list of what I am trying to avoid in a guy, he is latin

Portugal and Mexico are not all that similar culture wise - if that's a worry.
Different places. Different languages.
One is in Europe - The other in North America.

It's true that they are both "Latin".

But then again Britain, Australia, Canada - US - are all English-speaking.. But I would not venture to place them all in the same basket culturally.

quote:
PhD student

I think avoiding PhD students in general - is exaggerating. One person could be doing their PhD in medicine, another in history and yet another in animal studies.
I think it's important to have things in common in a relationship. So I would only 'avoid' those PhD students who are studying something you find uninteresting.


quote:
younger than me

This is a tricky one. Age may or may not be a factor. I think you should decide after you get to know the person a little. Some people are very mature at an early age.

In any case - if you want to avoid picking the wrong guy, I'm not sure those are the things you should be avoiding. You could just as well meet a guy who is your age or older, aussie, and not a PhD student - who could treat you badly.

I think you should base this purely on how the person makes you feel and how they treat you. So far this guy is on his best behaviour. There is no reason to be 'wary' yet imo

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Diana
Knowflake

Posts: 2079
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 13, 2010 08:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diana     Edit/Delete Message
People who pick the same wrong partner over and over again usually do so because they don't take time out from dating (completely) to find out why they pick the same guy.

You need time alone to heal and change. When you jump right into another relationship you don't get the chance to do that.

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 874
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 13, 2010 11:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Latin and a PhD? Um... date and have fun or send him over this way? Enjoy your life. Let go of fear. He isn't a child abusing alcoholic. Nothing to be afraid of... just take things SLOW.

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