Lindaland Central
  40 Things That Only Happen in the Movies

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   40 Things That Only Happen in the Movies

Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted July 17, 2005 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard . . .

15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

16. Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

20. All single women have a cat.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

28. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair. 32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

IP: Logged


Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004

posted July 17, 2005 04:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Philbird     Edit/Delete Message
I love how in some adventure movies, the people go days on end without eating or having to use the bathroom.
AND my all time fav. Not one woman needs to attend to her menstrsal cycle!!!! Or has one for that matter, especially the ones stranded somewhere!
Excluding Carrie, she had it goin' on! That's why it was a horror flik!

IP: Logged


Posts: 254
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2005

posted July 17, 2005 04:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Svetlana     Edit/Delete Message

You can't lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.
J. Peers

IP: Logged


Posts: 294
Registered: Nov 2004

posted July 17, 2005 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticScorpio     Edit/Delete Message

So true too

IP: Logged


Posts: 3800
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001

posted July 17, 2005 07:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nephthys     Edit/Delete Message

Philbird, you brought up great points!!! Especially the menstrual cycle!!! Like on Survivor, what do they do?????? I always wonder about that.......Hmmmm.....stranded on the island with only the outfit that they have on, which usually ends up to be in shreds. They aren't allowed any amenities. Do they just end up not getting their period during the time they're on the island?????????

IP: Logged


Posts: 1768
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003

posted July 18, 2005 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sun_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
ROFLMAO!! NIce one LS!!

PS, I remember seeing you had replied to my HP thread in Teenspirit! How are you gettin on with it? Im loving it!! Although rather worried and apprehensie after reading Everlongs reply!!!

IP: Logged


Posts: 2805
From: dreamland
Registered: Jan 2004

posted July 19, 2005 06:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aqua     Edit/Delete Message

IP: Logged


Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted July 20, 2005 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Sun_Scorp...

I got it today. I'm going to head out now to dive in

I'm really dyin' know what made her cry so hard...

IP: Logged


Posts: 695
From: The big C... Canada :)
Registered: Jul 2006

posted September 08, 2006 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Wednesday     Edit/Delete Message
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

I've always wondered about this

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us |

Copyright 2007

Powered by Infopop © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a