posted May 28, 2008 02:58 PM         

I mainly travel to his place. It is 50 miles and is becoming expensive.

I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with him. he is really cautious.

posted May 28, 2008 03:54 PM         

i feel like my wheels would be spinning in the mud for another 4 yrs.

I wonder if i did the right thing by putting my cards on the table and saying i am so certain of my love that i would make a commitment.

posted May 28, 2008 04:04 PM         

So 1 1/2 - 2 yrs seems like a reasonable time to know if you are in love and compatible? It is not like we are kids.

posted May 28, 2008 04:17 PM         

Me and my bf also share almost a 2year relationship.

Wew are long-distance and be keeping more or less seing each ohter every two weeks at 4/5 days in a row.

He is a Cancer AC and one time he said he would very muc like to live together with me,goingo to his place.
I dont feel ready for that so fpr now we are keeping like that - i felt pressured and was almost accepting by fear that he would be breacking up with me.

The thing is:he was the one more afraid to lose me and so,offered me that option and kept pressuring me some times.
Finally,we put our cards in the table and i said what was goin on in my heart - he admitted was being kind of selfish and not thinking about my needs and problems at the moment.

If you feel bad about it - if you feel somehow pressured and hurted by him telling that to you in a manner that you consider controlling-the best is to talk with him.

Cancer are maybe more cautious than Virgos-they fear rejection so much adn they dont wanna show their sensitiveness...my bf also is like that.

The fact that he said want to live togetehr first only shows cautious , not lack of commitment of love by you.

DOes he has a lot of Uranus in his chart?Have important planets in Aqua?
My bf has Aqua Moon-he also dont want to marry soon and says wants to live together first and see how it goes - when he said that to me i felt like you - thatīs why i understand your question very well.

posted May 28, 2008 04:18 PM         

Yea, that might be true but I want to know 1000% that he loves me. I dont' want to live with someone for that long before I have his full commitment.

posted May 28, 2008 04:30 PM         

If your beliefs are that you can't go that long without some sort of formal commitment, and his beliefs are different, then you're at an impasse. One of you has to give in to the other's beliefs in order for it to work. If neither of you is willing to compromise, then you should part ways.

There will be other guys who are willing to move a bit faster.

You may never catch this Cancer. (Perhaps it's his lesson to learn not to be so extremely cautious in love.)

posted May 28, 2008 04:36 PM         

you may be right. we have to compromise to one or the others belief. I have directly said this to him.

He compromises by saying he would consider a formal commmitment in 3-4 yrs. Just consider it after all that time?

posted May 28, 2008 04:42 PM         

I think you should tell him about this.

It seems like you're ready to get married, but he is not. That's not fair. This will sound very traditional, but if I were you, I'd bring out the woman in me and express all my feelings. Because, this will sound even more traditional, but when a woman waits for a man to be ready to get married, it just doesn't feel right. He should be the one chasing you. Women always feel insecure when they are the chasers themselves. I think women should always be the more powerful side of the couple.

posted May 28, 2008 05:03 PM         

2 years is more than enough time to decide if you want to get married to someone. And yes, living with someone is different than being in love, but still. Many newlyweds have problems when they move in together anyway, but they make it work because they are married. So if you move in with him and he sees something he doesn't like, he could easily end it because you don't have a "financial agreement" to keep him..

Or imagine this.. you spend 4 years together and he decides you are not the one for him.. or that he doesn't want to get married. You will have wasted 6 years of your life for nothing, 4 of which you could have met many men who might be willing to take the next step..

And becides, most cancers I know are traditional, like what was already said in this post. I'm a bit wary of this one.

posted May 28, 2008 05:10 PM         

this is such an exception for me. Thats why i think this is real love. I actually really want this guy.

He is very intelligent. I get the feeling he knows just how to pull this little fish along. It is working so far but I have my pride as a woman.

I have laid my heart on the table. I know he wants me around but I just don't want to feel used in any way if this doesn;t work out in all that time.

honestly, I can't see myself ever fully letting go. this one will haunt me if we part and that is why i have let my guard down and totally given myself to him.

but as i said, i have pride and respect for myself as a woman and would live with the pain of losing him than to look at myself in the mirror everyday like and know i was not true to myself.

posted May 28, 2008 05:14 PM         

he has a Cancer sun, a Sag moon and a Cancer Asc. if this helps....

posted May 28, 2008 05:27 PM         

quote:

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I think women should always be the more powerful side of the couple.

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Disagree wholeheartedly. There has to be a fair amount of balance in my opinion. If one or the other is too powerful in the relationship, then it's not going to be equitable for the other person. I think relationships are supposed to be a partnership.

quote:

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Is that statement a fair compromise?

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Four years in addition to nearly two years already? No, that's not a compromise. Is his usual decision-making time 12 years long? I mean, if six years is a compromise then what was he initially thinking? I don't know how old you are, but if you're an adult and maybe interested in having a family, then 12 years would take a significant part of your baby-making years away. Even just four years is a big commitment if you are interested in the idea of having kids within the context of marriage.

Worst case: after four years he dumps you, and you have to start the process over again, which probably means a minimum of two years before you're considering marriage again, so in the end he'd have wasted at least six years of your life and possibly more. I'd hate to think about what might happen to your body in that time (once again if you intend to have children). I don't know a lot about fibroids, but they could wreck your chances of having children, right?