posted July 10, 2003 10:07 AM              

I'm sure it's not your intention...but you've come across in a very angry manner...It's as if you've taken what's been said by Twin Lady as a direct hit at you!

At the end of the day I created this topic because I wanted to hear other peoples views on the subject and I was fully expecting to get conflicting opinions...that's what it's all about...

I might be totally wrong (please forgive me if I am)if I've taken what you've said not in the way you intended. Perhaps you're just joking but it hasn't come across that way.

Like I said to Twin Lady I appreciate the time she spent trying to help me. I say the same to you.

posted July 10, 2003 10:25 AM              

I can relate to what you've said about his lack of faith and needing reassurance...that's definitely him. So no matter what I do then, he's always gonna have his doubts about me Funnily enough he has said that he thinks I pity him.

So should I not tell him I love him any more??

Good quote by the way...cheers

posted July 10, 2003 10:49 AM              

Scorpio and Capricorn Moon in a natal placement is a red flag that all is not well at home. Home can be defined as the family, physical and/or spiritual self. Many with this natal placement have relationships (sibling, parent, relative, friend, partner) with people whom inadvertently have instabilities---either mentally, emotionally, or physically. These are the only Moon placements I know of that can endure a partner's neurosis (not meant in a negative way), and most difficult personalities.

Trust is most difficult for these Moon placements due to not being able to count on people to carry out what they say they intend to do. The instabilities of the people around them keep these people at arms length in the event of breakdowns, broken promises, erratic changes, etc.

Scorpio and Capricorn Moons are extremely realistic, and pragmatic. They see fallacies, lies, cover-ups, and games clearly and therein is the near non-existent trust in humanity. Dignity, honor and integrity are highly valued. The deep secret is that these signs find it shameful when people behave out of line and do things with no sense of benevolent respect.

posted July 10, 2003 11:15 AM              

I can be completely wrong about this, but I believe you were being very kind and generous to share with us how you approach Geminis with little pieces of enigmatic sparkles. And, I sense you spent quite a bit of time putting together that post. You were helpful

I also think you took Twin Lady's one sentence at the top her response as a rude, and poorly thought out put down considering how much insight you actually gave us. No one has mentioned your strategy. Which has worked out for you and you shared it to help make our lives easier.

And, you are probably more right than what most of us are willing to admit. There has to be a reason Gemini women are attracted to you, and you gave it.

As for your reaction to Twin Lady. Well, I actually know where you are coming from. And I am very sorry if something like this will stop you from sharing your gifts with us. I actually did find your post about Geminis' penchant to play with clues useful and have it scripted in my memory bank for future use.

posted July 10, 2003 11:56 AM              

Well, to tell the truth, yes I would hold off on the I love you's for a while until he feels strong enough to receive the love he feels from you. Then he can start giving. He needs to feel like the giver in the relationship. Imagine you are a battery and he's plugged into you, he gets the love he needs from you because you're there, that way he learns how to have faith.

If possible you could both schedule some activities where you are both having fun, such as hiking, or anything physical. Schedule a real date once in a while, even if you know eachother well. Venus in Leo needs to be pulled into these kinds of activities. Venus in Leo loves children and animals too. You could both see eachother like this for a few months and see how it goes.

posted July 10, 2003 02:13 PM              

quote:

---

No I can't say I love every persoanlity that my Gem has got..I suppose I love the one that I see least of all the most...for some reason he keeps that one under wraps most of the time. Saying that though, if he was an 'open book', I probably wouldn't be all that interested in him anyway.

---

Sounds like a trust and reassurance issue. Although I offer one of my own mistakes for food for thought: I once fell in love with a man for qualities that he despised about himself. What I loved, he perceived as weaknesses that he hated being reminded about. The more I searched for what I loved in him, the more uncomfortable he became. Sometimes a relationship results in healing of old wounds, but it takes a lot of time and trust, and maybe luck.

quote:

---

So should I not tell him I love him anymore?

---

I had to tell my current partner to hold back on telling me he loved me (imagine!) -- partly we had a cultural difference, where he was used to saying it more than I, and partly I had been manipulated by family into saying it when I didn't mean it while young, so I needed a break. Once we understood each other, that it wasn't a rejection, just about one person's discomfort with the frequency of expression and the imagined expectations attached, we could relax. Now we say "I love you" whenever we want, freely, with joy!

Have you tried asking him what he would like? His opinion, I mean-- not how he "feels".

posted July 11, 2003 07:45 AM              

I understand what you mean about loving qualities that they dispise about themselves...Darren does actually hate himself and I've come to realise that he can't believe I could love him because he doesn't believe he is worthy of it. What you said about the healing of old wounds, set me thinking and I had a look at both of our charts....not that I'm any expert but I found that we both have Chiron in Aries, mine in my 3rd house and Darren's is in his 8th house....what do you think of that...Do you think there's any significance in this, and what does it mean?

As for the love thing...I tell him I love him because it's something I genuinely feel, I don't want to hide the fact, I want him to know, so I tell him. It's not a word I use for the sake of it...I don't know, maybe no one ever said it to him before...No one really ever said it to me when I was young, but if it's said now, I don't question it, I just accept it and am happy to know I'm loved.

In answer to your question...No, I havn't asked his opinion on how he feels...It's an interesting point actually, and one I've not thought of. At the next opportunity I will ask his opinion...and I'll let you know the outcome.

Cheers Lunargirl, you've been a big help

posted July 11, 2003 08:08 AM              

I'm gonna hold the word back...the feeling will still be there, and like you say, he'll get the love he needs just by me being there.

Funny you should mention scheduling activities. Since March, we've been away a few times together...we've hired a cottage, gone fishing...went skinny dipping etc etc..Really had some fun times, and it's weird because during those times, I actually sensed that some sort of veil had been lifted from him and revealed the person he truly is. His whole personality was totally different and he was completely at ease. This happened every time we went away. then as soon as we get back home, down comes the veil again, he's not so happy and seems to withdraw back into himself again.

So what's that all about??

posted July 11, 2003 08:14 AM              

Having read what Aphrodite has sent to you, I now feel bad about being abrupt with you myself. I wish I had had the insight she obviously had when she read your comments. I can see exactly where you're coming from but was too ignorant at the time to realise how much effort you had made.

I apologise and thank you once again for your input.

posted July 11, 2003 08:35 AM              

Thanks so much for your input about my Cappy moon...I can so relate to what you've said. It's exactly the way I am. I am drawn to people with instabilities or difficult personalities etc...it's not intentional but it's always been that way with me. I also have a hell of a lot of endurance.

The word TRUST also strikes a nerve with me...as does not being able to count on others to carry out what they say they'll do.

I am very realistic and pragmatic and it's true that I see a lot of things in people that others don't seem to be able to see, like fallacies, lies, cover-ups, games etc.

And....I will fight my corner and anyone else's close to me, if I feel that they are beeing fooled or gonna get hurt in some way.

Aprhodite, I must thank you for this because you've brought something to my attention, that I hadn't thought of before, even though I knew it. If you see what I mean.

posted July 11, 2003 10:08 AM              

I know the trust issues well too, and have loved someone who couldn't love himself. There is no easy answer, only something in between love and friendship. Personally I need more. I have the 8th house moon and relate well to Cap moons, Cap moons are excellent friends, underline friends but get too easily hurt in romances. The essence of romance is being able to pull out, not everyone can do the day to day like a Cap day, it's just too hard. Cap and Scorp moons can take just about anything but not everyone is so strong. I really feel Scorp and Cap moons need long friendships rather than romances.

Good luck with those activities, and take care of yourself first. When you take care of yourself physically you will be stronger emotionally. (This is for Cap moons only). Reassure yourself, not about or for his love, but because you need it.

posted July 11, 2003 10:39 AM              

I'm glad you found that helpful

Your Capricorn Moon Sister,

posted July 12, 2003 01:00 AM              

quote:

---

Lunargirl - when you say trust and reassurance, do you mean on my part or on his

---

Of course I don't know either of you, so I might be way off the mark, but yes, it did sound to me as if possibly your need for reassurance (unmet) is turning into probing into him, which makes him defensive and ready to turn away (or deflect with a joke), which leads to different kinds of mistrust on both your parts. A vicious circle.

It's not really about who did what first, or who's right or wrong; they're just needs, after all, and either we find ways to work them out or not. ?!@!!$#! communication, hey?

quote:

---

I understand what you mean about loving qualities that they dispise about themselves...Darren does actually hate himself and I've come to realise that he can't believe I could love him because he doesn't believe he is worthy of it. What you said about the healing of old wounds, set me thinking and I had a look at both of our charts....not that I'm any expert but I found that we both have Chiron in Aries, mine in my 3rd house and Darren's is in his 8th house....what do you think of that...Do you think there's any significance in this, and what does it mean?

---

I'm not a Chiron expert -- but yes, if a natal Chiron is a major influence in a natal or composite chart, as in many aspects, or difficult aspects appearing, then healing would be a bigger theme than usual.

But I just reviewed this thread, and I don't think any of us mentioned that you can get quite a lot of excellent free info in comparing you and Darren's charts at Astro.com. They have at least three basic couple comparison tools, once you enter the two birthdata. In fact it will get you a lot of insights and info quicker, so why not give it a try? There are so many references to it all over Lindaland, I guess we all assumed you "knew"! And the basic tools are not written in High Astrologese, although if you get deeper into the site that's possible, as professional astrologers use that site all the time as well as newbies.

posted July 14, 2003 07:36 AM              

I think you're right, deep down I do have a need for reassurance on occasions and yes, I suppose this does make him defensive at times, but then that also depends on what personality is on display with him at the time.

Thanks for the info about Astro.com I'll take a peek at that.

posted July 14, 2003 10:01 PM              

And do let us know what you learn at Astro.com!

cheers,
Lunargirl