posted January 26, 2005 09:01 PM              

I know I'm here to help him.
I remember once though, he had a few drinks, and normally he's a very analytical, rigid type and always believes he has no real problems. But one time he said 'I'm so analytical and reasonable on the outside- but I really want to feel'
That's when alarm bells went off. I did want him to embrace his feelings, but he feels either embarrassed to- or can't at all.

How do I help him through? His Nana is dying and his grandpa has already gone, and he's being strong on the outside but now using he's some alcohol to cope.
He also lost his father very young.
Last night, he was down, and a bit groggy, and he started to cry.
He hated himself, and he is so wise and very enlightened, yet he doesn't know who he is.
That broke my heart...he said 'you know astrology, tell me who I am!'
Drunk or not drunk, I know this was the only way he could condure up the courage to ask.

Anyway he went to bed, and I stayed up feeling so heavy in the heart. I always thought he was coping- he is not.
Anyway, before I went to bed I picked up his cell phone...

...and there was an unfinished text message that read 'How are things dad?'

That broke my heart into a zillion peices.

Also, he is a man of honor, pride and loyalty. He has been in the army for some time, he finished up a few years ago. He is very opinionated in the ways of the world. He operates in the highest good and heals so many people of their troubles with his knowledge of psychology and spirituality.
Anyway, last night he also decided to give up on everything he knows. Unfortunantly his birth number is 8, heavy karma, and he gets thrown such disrespect of many people and he feels it's futile to keep trying in which the way the world is headed.
Last night he felt he died inside.

I need to help him...where can I look in his chart? I need to save this guy- I love him so much...I don't want him to give up.

posted January 26, 2005 10:50 PM              

I'll check out his transits...something's going on for sure.

He really was regretful for having a drink- and knows that it was making it harder to deal rather than easier....he's normally very strong when it comes to vices.

I suppose I can only offer him loads of love- and he'll find an answer within- I just wish a has some wisdom to offer.

posted January 27, 2005 12:25 AM              

You right about me being there, it really does encourage him to spew up his feelings. I can see relief in his face when he talks things out- it's great medicine. I just feel so bad for the poor little guy.

Thanks future_uncertain

posted January 27, 2005 01:21 AM            

Two things work for me... first, I listen to their verbal clues. He will tell you something in a way that seems like he let it slip. But, will usually want you to address the issue. He really wants to talk, but doesn't know how to communicate that need.

Second thing that works, I make him sit with me and not do anything. I usually disguise this by asking his opinion or saying ouch or something, that usually gets his attention. Then I touch him (usually around the neck or tummy) and rub his head and ask a few light question's or joke around to get him talking.

After awhile I won't be able to say anything because he will be talking up a storm about evvverything! He will bring up stuff from months ago you didn't even know bothered him. Then we he has finished talking and me listening, he'll find something to do like clean the kitchen, lol. He feels much better after getting things out and has less nervous energy.

posted January 27, 2005 12:40 PM              

Virgo guys, like their opposite's Pisces', have a warped sense of what makes a "man" they need to work through all the time. They are so very sensitive. They think of all they've accomplished for themselves and others by hiding their sensitivity, and WHA-LA! They've created a little bit of incentive for themselves to continue hiding their sensitivity.

What it sounds like he's going through is what a lot of people are going through, and that is reviewing our motivations for doing things. In order for him to be in touch with his feelings, he needs to be comfortable being senstitive to HIMSELF FIRST ...

... and another trait the Virgo/Pisces Opposition share is their ability to be selfless ... it comes all too easy ...

... so really ... if that's the way he is, he should just go easy on himself, even if big bad "society" out there offers SEEMINGLY little reward for being "sensitive" ...

I've recommended this book before, it's a REAL easy read and a delight -

"The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D

posted January 27, 2005 05:09 PM            

I hope I can help you... I´m a Virgo myself... And yes, Running_Bull approach sounds right to me... In fact, it is spot on!!!

You need to make him feel special... Be ready to listen to those hidden clues that will slip intentionally in conversation... Because he won´t address the problem straight away and if he does he will probably feel guilty about bothering you...

A little secret about Virgos... We sometimes feel there is no space for us in this world... That nobody will miss us if we are gone... That we don´t serve any purpose... And that break our hearts... We need to know that we are needed and loved... Somehow we feel used and undervalued... It can really make a difference when someone takes time to make us feel unique and special... It has to be very subtle...

Check the position of his Sun in relation to Pluto and Mars... Pluto is transitting Saggitarius so it could be squaring his Sun... It is squaring mine... Check other important planets (his Moon for example) or Ascendant... Last month has been really hard for me and other Virgos...

Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth... Mars could be raising the tension inside him

Proxieme said in another thread:

quote:

---

Pluto transits burn our bridges behind us; we can never go back to who and what we were before, and most would not want to. Those foolish enough to try end up really dying, or at best, like Lot’s wife, ossifying, turning into “pillars of salt, ” lifeless physical forms. Pluto strips away everything to expose the pure, precious jewel which lies at the core of the soul. (...) The experience of Pluto’s transit of Sun, Moon or angular house can seem like dying and reincarnating in the same body. You remember the person you used to be and that person seems a stranger, so naïve, so superficial. What was before only knowledge is now wisdom, and surface sympathy has deepened into compassion.

---

Check also: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/004199.html

posted January 27, 2005 05:15 PM              

He certainly does have a warped sense of what makes a 'man'.
Thanks for recommending that book too! I think it will help as he also has a humiliation complex.

posted January 27, 2005 05:19 PM              

That's so true of him.

Can't thank you guys enough!...I now can have a new approach into mending his hurt.
It's so refreshing hearing what really is happening inside a virgo.

posted January 27, 2005 05:27 PM              

We'll get through it- it's just a cycle he's going through- when he's up- HE'S UP, and when he's down- he's waaay down...