posted March 07, 2005 11:32 PM            

BTW..what is your next line.. "I'm rubber you're glue, whatever bounces off me sticks on you?"

posted March 08, 2005 01:39 AM              

quote:

---

Gives aries-chick a heart-shaped kiss.

---

lol thanks, my finger cross didn't work though

posted March 08, 2005 05:15 AM              

And thanks for the added entertainment girls! I'm just kidding, all of you intended to help and thats the way I'm looking at it.

If you want to catfight, I will gladly provide the baby oil

Thanks again,

posted March 08, 2005 08:19 AM            

Swerve! My heart! Well said

BTW,

You go boy! Good luck with the lucky girl.

posted March 08, 2005 08:36 AM              

Not to disappoint but yet again I got it wrong. She wants to be friends. Even my mate who's a girl and has been advising me didn't see that coming.

For someone who is supposed to be romantic, passionate and intuitive I really am the most useless person I know when it comes to this stuff.

Apparently I am a born loner. Yes, thats loNer!

Ouch.

posted March 08, 2005 09:16 AM              

quote:

---

...all the things lacking in the miserable grey women that live in London.

---

posted March 08, 2005 09:43 AM              

I am sorry if we offended you. We never meant to. All of us are here to share some love and whatever knowledge we have to understand and comprehend the complex human relationships better. If in the process, someone can potentially get hurt or misled, we would like to avoid that. If Pidaua got offended with your statements, it was not a reflection on you personally, just a way to avoid someone from getting hurt (swerve). She is as much entitled to express her opinion as you. You would have to agree, however, that whatever good place your words were coming from, they did carry a reckless tone.

Nobody likes to be abused or subjected to harsh, objectionable language. If you have a strong opinion or object to something someone said, please find a more polite way to express yourself. Bad language does not strengthen your voice, it only brings forth an image of someone trying very hard to express themselves and failing at it.

We dont want anyone to feel left out or offended here. At the same time, there are some boundaries of decorum eveyone sticks to. If you think you could agree and respect those limits, you are most welcome. We all dont have to be geniuses to share the love and warmth of this place. But we do need to be decent and polite. The world is full enough of misery and rudeness without bringing it in here. This place is a haven for lost, kindred souls. I am sure at some time you must have felt the sharing and friendship shared here. We would like you to continue doing that, as long as you dont hurt or abuse anyone.

I am not writing this to represent anyone here. I am just expressing what I feel everyone thinks. I would like you to stay, as a treasured member of this family. I would like you to grow and evolve, as everyone here is.

Love

posted March 08, 2005 09:53 AM              

There are other fish in the sea, you have to be fast to catch them,

posted March 08, 2005 10:38 AM              

I think my net has a hole in it. If I'm supposed to learn from every mistake then I should have an IQ of about 300 by now and building space rockets.

Not once do these things end in a good way. Always crash and burn. I thought I was mad but this time my friend came along for the journey and read every e-mail and got as excited as me by what seemed like a mutual attraction.

This girl now says she is confused as she never saw me that way, doesn't understand where I got that impression and was just being friendly.

In the past this would have crippled me as I would have bowed to insecurity and questioned myself. As it is my friend thinks the girl is nuts and wonders what she thought was happening after A ROSE LANDED ON HER DESK ON VALENTINE'S DAY!!! The card didn't say "whatta pal!".

She says this has happened before so maybe she likes games, maybe she's dumb. Maybe that Gemini Moon was more trouble than it was worth.

I think I am destined to be alone. Maybe theres some dramatic romanticism about it. I can't afford to let it bother me anymore, I want to freeze up inside. There doesn't seem to be a woman who makes me warm inside anyway.

And sorry Neptune's mermaid, sweeping statement about the girls in London, so feel yourself excused.

posted March 08, 2005 11:34 AM              

"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

posted March 08, 2005 01:06 PM            

It will work out.

Try an aquarian, I hear aqua-pisces make good matches. There are a few aqua girls on this site with Piscean men in their lives, ask them about it.

Big hugs for your blue heart.

posted March 08, 2005 02:45 PM            

Gemini moons can be a bit difficult to understand. My ex was a Virgo with a Gemini moon. When things got a bit emotional, he would figet..pull back..analyze etc...

Also, your lady in question is going through a few personal issues with these current transits.. Transiting Saturn is making harsh aspects to her Sun and Mars while Pluto is opposing her Moon.

That CAN'T be comfortable. Cancer people, when they feel vulnerable will pull away at times..It almost seems like they try to self-sabotauge the relationship. My mom has that Cancer Sun and Cancer moon thing going on, but she also has Venus in Gemini.

She can be very flirty and open..then all of a sudden change and try to nit pick the heck out of a relationship or love interest. She will say "Oh..I don't need it anyway, I can do it on my own..."... It is really not true, she is just afraid of getting hurt.

Swerve, would it be so hard to be friends with her and work up to something more? Cancers do move slow, you have to win their trust (they are even harder to win over than Taurus people )

posted March 08, 2005 04:51 PM              

I didn't know what to say, maybe this girl knew you were looking for some bedroom action? I hate to say that but you did say that's what your intentions were? So underneath it all, she is a shy, somewhat prudish girl, appearances are not always true. it's okay, there are a lot of prudish Gemini Moons,

Remember the next one has to be warmth and fire in the heart-The moon is the heart not the Venus. The Venus is what she sees as the ideal woman, how she acts in front of others, the Moon is how she acts at home.

That is why I like warmer moons than Venuses.

posted March 08, 2005 07:16 PM              

I agree with Pidaua. Cancer women can be slow slow slow, sometimes they can make you wait longer than Taurus men--with whom you can have a 100 year courtship and watch your nails grow at the same time. No offense to the Taurus men, but I need some fast action going on, some dramatic passionate declarations of love, some sweeping statements of the Heathcliff-Cathy kind, some blood though preferrably sweat of the lovemaking kind. hehehe.

I'm so really sorry to hear that! Don't worry you're not alone. I have horrible kismet when it comes to relationships too. Although Venus is in the 7th for me which is supposed to be a good sign its right at home there right? Wrong. Must be some other really difficult aspects that make this happen like Sun opposing Uranus or Moon conjunct Saturn.

All I can say is, I used to be really down about my horrible luck--EVERY relationship I wanted to go for would end horribly. I can totally feel you Swerve, and I want you to know that we are all here for you. She is not a bad person and you are NOT a loner or a loser. Either you couldn't understand her fully or, the more probable thing is, she couldn't understand herself. And since I think its the second one, the least appropriate thing would to be to hold yourself accountable for that.

Like Natasha said there are so many fish in the sea. Women constitute something like 52-54 percent of world population while men are 46-48 (roundabout figures, I forgot the specs). So really, there are way too many female fishies out there shakin their groove thangs for you to dwell too long on this one girl, although she may be fascinating.

I myself find it exceedingly difficult to move on from lost loves or rejections; more difficult than it is to move on from an actual relationship that ended sourly--for some reason, rejection/loss just has so much more powerful of an affect doesnt it? Sour relationships make us think that we may have done something wrong but loss and rejection makes us think that theres something wrong with us personally. But its really not so.

I am trying to learn how to take things lighter, flirt shamelessly, and find so many men attractive, otherwise none at all, like my Gem sun is supposed to. I'm beating down this Scorp moon and Aries venus with a stick

If you want to vent we're always here and if you want to bang your head you can always do so against this sturdy but soft wall known as LL. She may or may not love you but we all love you, and thats the truth like it or not.
!

SG

posted March 09, 2005 04:17 AM              

She still sent her usual early morning e-mail as soon as she got into work. Just a jokey one, but my instincts tell me that she is backing off deliberately but doesn't quite want to let go. Maybe she never faced up to the possibility that I might see her that way as she has low self-esteem but hides behind the classic party girl facade and LOTS of alcohol. I know, I know, why get involved with someone with obvious baggage. Simple answer - I'm a Pisces.

Anyway, I will keep it light and respond sporadically. I made it clear it was her loss. Maybe she got to thinking. I'm an all-or-nothing kinda guy so I will watch to see if this is the Cancer game or whether she is just oblivious to the sublte nuances in life that are my bread and butter, for a little while and then forget her as quickly as possible.

Secret Garden, from what I have read and understood about you so far - I wish you were in London!

Thanks again,

posted March 09, 2005 02:34 PM            

I have seen my own Cancer mom do just that- push her in a corner, demand she make a decision, tell her it is her loss and she will just add you to the pile of those that just didn't work.

Sorry Swerve..maybe Cancer ladies are just not for you- especially ones with addictions.

posted March 10, 2005 03:21 AM              

If I were in London I would turn grey too, both literally and metaphorically, seeing that the sun puts in minimal face time there, but do let me know when you visit me here in the US Meanwhile I'm sending flying kisses that should be at your place in 10 hrs (bah I hate flight time). They'll be floating somewhere around Heathrow--with your name written on the lips

posted March 10, 2005 04:56 AM              

There is nothing to salvage here. It seems it was all in my mind and she is just a friendly girl. This isn't true and I have the evidence to prove it, but it is the line she is using so its irrelevant.

By all-or-nothing I mean that I find it impossible to play games for long. And I am way too passionate to be cool and logical about anything really, let alone any potential love life.

Where I went wrong was by complimenting her too much and showing my sensitive side. Women do not respond well psychologically to that unless its under their own terms. Its a proven fact. If you make a womean feel insecure or unsure of how you feel about her she suddenly becomes interested. Then all you have to do is keep her at arms length, never let her get the psychological upper hand and hey presto you have yourself a little follower. There will be lots of discussion with girlfriends and lots of bitching about men, but you will go back and he will play you again. This is the tried and trusted method of players and jerks and unfortunately you ladies don't have any defence against it.

This is not to say that you can't have mature relationships with men based on trust and respect, its just that these never take you to the peaks, they are steady and easily disrupted by lust or passion after a certain point, so what is their true worth? Divorce rates back this theory up.

I can't be bothered to string some girl along and play with her feelings, its just not me. So, I shall resign myself to the "nice guy" bracket and save you girls the work. That way we all know where we stand.]

I love women, I just find it hard to respect them seometimes for the way they almost force men to disrespect them to get their unswerving (pardon the pun) attention.

And the funny thing is, even with women's lib, Destiny's Child, Charlies Angels and Sex and the City, the game hasn't changed, women are just the new men!

I'm a little jaded at the moment so forgive me.

posted March 10, 2005 02:45 PM            

Swerve, you are becoming bitter. You are also "playing a game". To say you can't play games for long, then launch into this huge diatribe about how a males plays a female is a completly hypocritical statement.

Maybe immature or very young girls fall into that category of needing a man to play games like that. Most of us, when we know what we want and how we want it decide to let a man into our lives and in return he decides if he wants us in his life.

The games played are only played by those people that CAN'T do anything on their own, so they fall back on the psychological torture of another, manipulating them (such as you indicated) to get them to fall in love.

As a Saggie, Ultimatims, games, BS about this insecurity crap..oh I love you..maybe I don't..let me kind of treat you like crap..etc.. that has never done it for me and I would rather be independent that be with someone like that- but I have been around the block..in fact, I rather enjoyed defeating players that played the game you referenced. In most cases I would play along..then just crush them, because I watched what they did to others- yes, it was wrong, but I was tired of hearing women lament over being screwed over.

I had ONE boyfriend play that game in highschool. In the end, true to your words, he said "I thought if I made you feel insecure then you would NEVER leave me".

Foolish, foolish stupid man..not only did I leave him, but I went on to have a very successful life..so far. But he taught me to recognize those games early.

In my dating life I have come into contact with men that play by your rules. I almost always have a very deep satisfaction when I break things off with them, letting them know the 100 things wrong that they did, things they can't fix..all because they had to start that stupid game of "getting inside my head or trying to use perceived weaknesses against me".

In the end, Karma comes back. If you try to manipulate someone you may get what you want, but she / he won't really be what you want in the end. You are only hurting yourself as you are procuring a relationship through deceptive means.

Maybe Ms. Cancer saw your many compliments as being "over the top" or "just trying to get into her pants". Personally, if a man kept complimenting me I would become very skeptical.."why is he sucking up to me..why can't we just have a real conversation" etc..

I once went out with a Libra that played that game. He tried to woo me and then tried to plant a few seeds of doubt..about myself.. I am 5 foot 9, which was about 1-2 inches taller than he was. He already knew I had no interest in him by the mid part of the date (He was just too into himself).

So while we are walking he says "Man, you are tall..does it make you feel bad or insecure to be so BIG?"

LOL..without missing a beat I said "No not at all, but tell me, do you have a complex for having such small feet?"

I am not sure if the standard is true in England, but here there is a joke about the size of a mans foot and his manhood.

posted March 10, 2005 07:23 PM              

Even if this girl did intentionally hurt you, like I've said before, indulging in generalizations is the easiest way out but may not be the right answer. However, I will have to *partially* agree with you on the statement about women liking the 'bad boys' that treat them not-so-right. (Before this female-loaded forum launches multiple attacks on me please note the word *PARTIALLY*).

But although I see the same thing you see--that women are trapped in abusive relationships, and sometimes tend to PROLONG these relationships by will, although of course, subconciously, I see htis happening for a different reason, not because women want it on their own terms or because they enjoy being down-trodden. Simply because, speaking for myself, I like men who know how to take charge, are a little aggressive, and have strong personalities. I am a strong perosn myself but I don't want a man that will be weaker than me; my husband was like that and he literally became parasitic for me, I was constantly paying his way out of all the things he needed, and catering to his every need. The marriage became so burdensome that I ended it because he was so spineless and abusive albiet WEAK.

Seeing that Venus is the ruler of my chart, it is in the 7th house (relationships are important), and in Aries (thats my 'ideal' partner, Aries is also my descendant so woohoo that pretty much screams Aries at me), it is no wonder that I like strong aggressive men with a bit of a temper. Now, lets not confuse the words 'a bit of a temper' with 'abusive'. I have a bit of a temper, but the only thing I abuse is my credit card priveleges...

The reason women can be attracted to abusive men is that they see them as protectors, strong, aggressive, knowing who they are, they provide us with some knowns. As a Gem girl I really need someone to say, "I can provide you security". I have enough unknowns and questions of my own. Don't provide me with more options than I already have--it will drive me off the edge (gaah).

I don't know if you've seen the article in MSN lately that talks about why some daughters of aggressive or even bad mothers may be extremely well balanced and successful instead of dysfunctional as originally predicted by traditional psychological studies. Now I'm not saying, to make your child strong be aggressive, but rather, that sometimes, we find the strength to deal with adversity through people who give us 'tough love'. I hate that term but for lack of a better one I resort to it for now.

These types of men promise us tough love--if we ever saw abuse coming we'd run for our lives, but we don't--we see the tough love, the security, the protection, the man that, when he holds our hands and takes us out for a night on the town, no one will mess with me because he is there with me. He is not only my best friend, and a person who I can talk to, have fun with, make love to etc, but also the man who provides the complement to me--the one who completes me. Now although some people may argue such a cardinal-influenced Gem like myself shouldn't go for an Aries, I really think what I need is a dose of my own medicine

To tone it down a little I usually pray for a Leo hahah

But Swerve dearest I hope you understand what I'm talkin about. Of course there are some mesochistic women out there, but this is an account of how some strong passionate girls like myself like the even stronger more passionate men; and this Cancer girl you originally described as very passionate, and I said earlier that her Sun-moon-venus-mars combo will give her a very fiesty attitude which is somewhat similar to mine except I'm a bit more sarcastic, cynical, and pessimistic.

I still love you for your intentions, but retract the lapdancing statement, which I'll keep for the next available Leo with dimples, or Aries sans superiority complex, I see.

Much love to all!

SG

posted March 10, 2005 07:25 PM              

Even if this girl did intentionally hurt you, like I've said before, indulging in generalizations is the easiest way out but may not be the right answer. However, I will have to *partially* agree with you on the statement about women liking the 'bad boys' that treat them not-so-right. (Before this female-loaded forum launches multiple attacks on me please note the word *PARTIALLY*).

But although I see the same thing you see--that women are trapped in abusive relationships, and sometimes tend to PROLONG these relationships by will, although of course, subconciously, I see htis happening for a different reason, not because women want it on their own terms or because they enjoy being down-trodden. Simply because, speaking for myself, I like men who know how to take charge, are a little aggressive, and have strong personalities. I am a strong perosn myself but I don't want a man that will be weaker than me; my husband was like that and he literally became parasitic for me, I was constantly paying his way out of all the things he needed, and catering to his every need. The marriage became so burdensome that I ended it because he was so spineless and abusive albiet WEAK.

Seeing that Venus is the ruler of my chart, it is in the 7th house (relationships are important), and in Aries (thats my 'ideal' partner, Aries is also my descendant so woohoo that pretty much screams Aries at me), it is no wonder that I like strong aggressive men with a bit of a temper. Now, lets not confuse the words 'a bit of a temper' with 'abusive'. I have a bit of a temper, but the only thing I abuse is my credit card priveleges...

The reason women can be attracted to abusive men is that they see them as protectors, strong, aggressive, knowing who they are, they provide us with some knowns. As a Gem girl I really need someone to say, "I can provide you security". I have enough unknowns and questions of my own. Don't provide me with more options than I already have--it will drive me off the edge (gaah).

I don't know if you've seen the article in MSN lately that talks about why some daughters of aggressive or even bad mothers may be extremely well balanced and successful instead of dysfunctional as originally predicted by traditional psychological studies. Now I'm not saying, to make your child strong be aggressive, but rather, that sometimes, we find the strength to deal with adversity through people who give us 'tough love'. I hate that term but for lack of a better one I resort to it for now.

These types of men promise us tough love--if we ever saw abuse coming we'd run for our lives, but we don't--we see the tough love, the security, the protection, the man that, when he holds our hands and takes us out for a night on the town, no one will mess with me because he is there with me. He is not only my best friend, and a person who I can talk to, have fun with, make love to etc, but also the man who provides the complement to me--the one who completes me. Now although some people may argue such a cardinal-influenced Gem like myself shouldn't go for an Aries, I really think what I need is a dose of my own medicine

To tone it down a little I usually pray for a Leo hahah

But Swerve dearest I hope you understand what I'm talkin about. Of course there are some mesochistic women out there, but this is an account of how some strong passionate girls like myself like the even stronger more passionate men; and this Cancer girl you originally described as very passionate, and I said earlier that her Sun-moon-venus-mars combo will give her a very fiesty attitude which is somewhat similar to mine except I'm a bit more sarcastic, cynical, and pessimistic.

I still love you for your intentions, but retract the lapdancing statement, which I'll keep for the next available Leo with dimples, or Aries sans superiority complex, I see.

Much love to all!