posted March 31, 2005 01:46 PM              

still in all - humor, in whatever form it suits you, is the best medicine.

p.s. i read somewhere that if you commit suicide - you will have to start over again and face the same ish you failed to address, all over again until you face it and conquer the fear of it.......so

p.p.s. whalewasp78
i think your experience was also suicide in that - i wonder would you have felt the same way you did before that experience......it brought out a "hidden" part of your persona and "killed" the old one. so, i would say that was suicide. I don't know - maybe I'm being too broad with this suicide thing because i think suicide isn't limited to just physical.

posted March 31, 2005 03:44 PM              

death doesn't bother me either, of course i would like for it to be as painless as possible, and at the right time, meaning when it would hurt other people the least, im very anti pain but have nothing against death because its inevitable, holding something against it would just be to make oneself restless forever, better to accept it.

I do have problems thinking about life after death, accepting that, i am very afraid of it. eep. How could a scorp moon talk about being afraid, now im going to run to have coffee to build my nerves again

posted April 01, 2005 01:30 AM              

The website that sd09 recommended is pretty interesting and deals with exactly this topic, the trend in certain signs.

posted April 01, 2005 01:46 AM              

At least for me, and for many others I've known, including some who have taken their own lives successfully, it's *not* about needing a reason to live, and I've long realized that such individuals are never going to understand that. Of course, that never seems to thwart them from pouncing on you with annoyingly irrelevant nonsense. (BTW, I am not saying the Bible is nonsense - I am in fact a Bible scholar and consider myself a faithful Chrisitan, just one that doesn't think that suicide can be summed up so neatly as a sin against my Creator. Nor do I view the Bible as formulaic or a trite collection of easy, one dimensional answers to very profound, four dimensional questions.)

I say "suicidal ideation" because that covers all of it - from imaginative curiosity to more bleaker moments when I was actually planning the details of my escape route. So not every thought of suicide is really suicidal. But that suicide is something my mind frequently dwells upon is a simple fact of my life, and not one I expect is to be understood by someone who doesn't experience it as I do.

If someone was to ask me how I view my own inclinations toward suicidal ideation, I'd say that it's maore a way of thinking of existence that doesn't excluded death. A lot of how people think of human existence consigns death has something "best not discussed." I feel the need to be more objective, that's all, and one way it is consider suicide. At least for me, the simple fact that I can take my own life (despite the pretentions of a hypocritical society that tries to convince me I have no other choice but to live, whether I see value in living or not) opens a whole new sphere to existence itself. Again, I don't expect people to really understnd that unless they've been there.

I don't have any Cancer placements. I actually believe that Pisces and Capricorn are more prone to suicide than Cancer, or any other sign, although one of my deceased friends was a Cancer Sun - and with Cap rising and Pisces Mars, I might add. (And he was a very good and compassionate ableit profoundly suffering soul, lest anyone of you self-righteous ones out there dare consign him to damnation.) Also various aspects have been linked to suicide and suicidal thoughts, and in particualrly aspects with Saturn (Cap) and Neptune (Pisces). While there's been suggestion that 12th house placements can be an indicator too, I've seen little consistant evidence. But singletons may be another indicator, especially afflicted Neptune singeltons.

posted April 01, 2005 03:51 AM              

It may be saturn or neptune (i have moon conjunct saturn opposing sun which is conjunct mars, plus uranus conjunct neptune which also oppose mars-!).

At times when I had those thoughts I attributed it to my Gemini sun (I always thought mutables, and dual signs, such as the Fish, Gem etc. had a tendency to suicidal thoughts, contemplation much more). Then I attributed it to Scorp moon, now Im considering my aspects and houses. lol. Maybe its transits? Some difficult transits would probably also affect moods and depression definitely, and I know that since Pluto is the most prominent, heavily aspected, and just plain most influential planet in my chart, it is no surprise that birth, death, and rebirth are major issues of contemplation here. Besides that stellium in house 9

posted April 01, 2005 08:13 AM              

I felt that way very often during my ex's flight from reality and responsibility. Being a Cancer moon I took that very hard. I would pray and ask myself, what to do, but dwelling on those feelings, kept me back for a long time,

So I would say if you have those feelings, it's a good idea to maintain relationships that are healthy and focus on spending time with those people, rather than with people who are not emotionally close or connected.

posted April 02, 2005 06:20 AM              

Well gosh, I never thought about it like that, perhaps the Samaritans have been trying the wrong approach all these years and should merely be talking some sense into these damn silly people.

Yeah, right. As far as missing the point and clearly speaking from a lack of personal experience I have yet to encounter a more prime example.

I'm sure you think you mean well, you are just wrong. Smugness and lack of sensitivity are not the answer. Everyone has different breaking points, and other people have stronger emotions, probably compassion and understanding than you guys. Do you think you are a better person that perhaps say Mother Theresa was? She wouldn't have judged so quickly and so ineptly, and she would have sympathised and cried, which I guess in your book would have been just silly really, talk some sense into them woman!

You sound like the Victorians in England from the 19th Century. Very logical, very sensible, always seeing the right answer without letting emotions get in the way.

I am guessing emotional intelligence is an alien concept to you, and the thing is, one day, if you should despair, find nowhere to turn and become overhwelmed by things you KNOW shouldn't bothering you that much (THATS THE BLOODY POINT!!), what will you tell yourself? I wonder.....guess you would need a compassionate friend....if they are still around.

I don't normally get this angry here, or feel so offended, and I am aiming this at no-one in particular.

It, to me, is just the height of ignorance. As a Pisces is distresses me, as a Scorpio Moon it gets my blood boiling.

And for the record, most of the Cancers I know tend to be happy and enjoying life in general, they just have little black periods. I feel they are too emotionally and spiritually young to plumb those particular depths. But of course, there are other influences, variables and people are more complex than that.

posted April 03, 2005 07:39 AM              

quote:

---

OK, I feel I need to point out the obvious to these people who say they "might" be being "harsh" but actually mean they are demonstrating good common sense and letting you know that you are just being over-sensitive, selfish and downright silly, because if you thought about it sensibly there would always be a better way.

---

Swerve, thx for clarifying my point.

posted April 04, 2005 01:12 PM              

However, when I am overwhelmed or afraid of failing or losing or not measuring-up, it is comforting to think - I am just an insignificant speck on this earth. There are millions and millions of people who are not aware of my existence. My time on this earth is limited.

These thoughts take the pressure off, and they sure beat thoughts of suicide.