posted October 04, 2005 07:48 AM              

I have never met a Cancer with a strong romantic possibility-it's always with someone who needs them financially, emotionally, mentally.
Friends are different-like Scorpios-they are radically different with their loved ones-which is a surprise going from friend to lover-better to imagine being a lover with a Cancer-not a friend-they like lovey dovey people-not buddies.

Too much fire here to be lovey dovey even though I am strong-Cancer men stay away in droves-preferring divorced needy women with 5-6 children-that's the reality-I don't let it make me suffer-as they make great friends.

"Suffering is resisting what is"

posted October 04, 2005 09:07 AM              

I think you may have something there girl....one Cancer I know is so strange, she will rarely approach others with warmth but Ive heard her say that others didnt give her support when she needed it......

To be honest I find this very difficult at times....she is very self absorbed.

I just asked my husband his opinion on the Cancers that he knows and he said he finds them, selfish shellfish!!!

posted October 04, 2005 10:11 AM              

Although my brother has at times, seemed selfish, I think it's due to being so receptive in a more subjective way and can't be helped really.
Yet, he is the one throughout my life who has always been there for me at the worst of times and it's a given he always will be.

He's a trucker and every now and then will send me a post card from wherever he is at out of the blue. Just recently, knowing I am going through a difficult time, he sent me one of deep heartfelt encouragement and called me his WildFlower and said he was proud of me and to keep following my Heart and Soaring Free.
It made me cry, it was so sweet.

posted October 04, 2005 10:34 AM              

"Cancers-do not cling to strong people-they cling to people who also clingers-that is why they get drained"

I never thought of it that way. You may have something there.....clingers only stick to people who in a way NEED them...and it is like this cycle of neediness.

I think I posted on another board about Cancer's too. But, I agree to a certain extent with everyone...
I do think there is a ME FIRST attitude that they have which they manage to hide under the whole "caring/sensitive" side of their personality.

I also think that sometimes their shell is not only for protection from hurt, but also for hiding their true self from others...they are nice, giving, and friendly, but they've got some darkness too.

posted October 04, 2005 12:22 PM              

Watch the verbal self undermining,
celtic, if you are different, be different, just because someone likes a woman a certain way doesn't mean you have to adapt-let others adapt-and everyone will be okay in the end.

posted October 04, 2005 12:35 PM              

I think I know what you are getting at. In other words be the me that attracted him in the first place, don't go off on him or be confrontational when he does surface and stop freaking out!!?? I have really listened to everyones advice here and not gone off half cocked and sabotage something that is still good. An I appreciate everyones input and good wishes and I am trying to pull myself out of this emotional well I have fallen into. Love to you all! will keep you posted!

posted October 04, 2005 01:33 PM              

quote:

---

Cancerrg, where did you disappear?!
Now the cancers all went hiding...hmmm

---

posted October 04, 2005 05:13 PM              

quote:

---

I don't appreciate super-needy ppl anymore than the rest of you.

---

lol Moond sorry i did a dbl take on that becoz technically the sentence means that you dont appreciate needy people anymore than u dont appreciate US.

but upon reading it i think u may have intended for it to mean, that you dont appreciate needy people anymore than the rest of us appreciate needy people.

misplaced modifiers ppl please!

sighs. sorry the Nazi english major in me just comes out in times like this.

Anyways i dont think Nat meant that you actively recruit and train clingers. I think she just meant that you have the tendency to end up with or attract people who end up as clingers. As an example, a very caring cancer cousin of mine takes such an interest in ppls stories, and healing them and being a good listener in the beginning, that in the end, she becomes friends with these chronic whiner types and it becomes hard for her to distance herself from them.

sometimes consideration can be mistaken for friendship, and a friendship develops where one couldnt be fathomed.

do you get what im tryin to say?

I think Geminis (myself included) tend to attract unreliable and disloyal men who can't stand the test of time...because usually the kind of open mindedness that is needed to understand us is coupled with a flirtatious, womanizer kind of personality.

We also can end up with people who try to cage us, restrict our freedom or make us shut up...control freaks, leading to major power struggles.

posted October 04, 2005 06:18 PM              

cancers are selfish in a couple of diff ways, not in the 'bad way necessarily'. and i saw this becoz:

1. they are very 'prudent' in that they will never sacrifice their direct resources etc for other ppl. sacrifice is diff from giving...it means giving at the expense of self for another, they dont go far when they see that it will pinch their own finances or security they back off. and oftentimes they do so quietly so u dont notice. no offense. its not something bad, it could just be a learned defense mechanism.

2. think of it as the mother. cancer symbolizing the mother, is generally thot of as selfless. but are mothers really selflesS? they become SO attached and emotional and nurturing that most times they can be quite presumptuous, suffocating, and selfish when they want their children to succeed at ALL costs. my mother, a typical overemotional one, wants her son out of jail even tho hes a criminal and DESERVES to be there. in this way, it is an unjust kind of selfishness....having so much pity and love that it makes u put that interest above fairness.

3. also cancers tend to play overt favorites. so far as ive noticed at least. they dont mask it well either.

posted October 05, 2005 03:22 PM            

I think your assessments are fair but I just wouldn’t slap the label of selfishness on the things you listed.

I’m definitely guilty of being prudent, but I also think of that as just being smart. I’m incredibly generous (Sag Ascendant), but if my finances dwindle beyond a certain point I definitely pull back. To not do so would be folly as my putting myself into a bad financial situation would hardly help anyone. However, if my mom, or sister, or boyfriend came to me in a bind, I’d move heaven and earth to help them even if it meant taking a loan out in my name. I’d just be smart about it. I’m never going to put myself in a place where I can’t pay my bills. So in this case, I’d call this cancer tendency financial prudence not selfishness.

Mothering – Oh yes, I’m guilty of this too. I’ve definitely mothered boyfriends in the past (maybe even smothered them), but then again I try to date people that don’t mind a bit of mothering (which is to say I try to avoid fire and air signs). Again, I wouldn’t call this selfish. As selfishness involves a focus on self, whereas mothering is all about protecting someone’s interests with every fiber of your being. It’s just mothering – something Cancers are famous for

Playing favorites – Yes, guilty of this too. But this goes back to that prioritizing bit I mentioned. My family, close friends, and lovers will always be top on my list. If I’m asked to go to a club with a friend and my sister calls and asks me to help her with something, I’ll generally opt to help my sister every time. Yes, I’ll feel horrible about it and do my best to make amends later, but I know who comes first in my life. Cancers are incredibly loyal to those they’ve allowed into the circle of their shell. Again, I wouldn’t call this selfish because it doesn’t involve the crab looking out for his or her own interests. Instead we’re just choosing where to focus our energies. We’re not getting any kick backs from family or lovers – so their could be little selfish motivation.

I can definitely see how we crabs might look from the outside though. Especially to air and fire sign types. Heck, even to earth signs sometimes. I’m sure more than one acquaintance of mine has thought me selfish in the past, just because they couldn’t understand my actions. In truth, I feel that Cancers are not innately selfish (far from it), however like any sign I’m sure there definitely ARE selfish Cancers. It’s just not their natural disposition.

posted October 05, 2005 03:24 PM            

It's been a weird, emotional week, no? I was on such a low on Monday. There must be something going on out there, no?

posted October 05, 2005 03:42 PM              

I have felt strange since the eclipse....doesnt it usually take a few days for the energy to recharge of something....

I am a Scorp and when I have been depressed in the past....Ive hidden myself away....really dont wanna be bothered by people....so it isnt just a cancer thing !!!!

Love to all

posted October 05, 2005 03:46 PM              

That's right the ecipse I had forgotten about it because you couldn't see it here and it only made mention on the news briefly. I had read posts on another board her about it and I jsut fuled the paranoia...LOL so I left it alone! My Libra ascendant scales want to be back in balance and I am not there yet.

posted October 05, 2005 04:04 PM            

And let’s all try to lie a bit low for the rest of this week. There’s something wacky going on with Water signs right now – our emotions are all out of wack, so we should be incredibly careful to not allow those emotions to direct our actions.

posted October 05, 2005 04:55 PM              

There’s something wacky going on with Water signs right now – our emotions are all out of wack, >>>no kidding whew baby! so yeah I suppose I gotta tread extra lightly with him

{{{{{{{{{HUGS BACK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}