posted October 06, 2005 05:06 PM              

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I can definitely see how we crabs might look from the outside though. Especially to air and fire sign types. Heck, even to earth signs sometimes. I’m sure more than one acquaintance of mine has thought me selfish in the past, just because they couldn’t understand my actions. In truth, I feel that Cancers are not innately selfish (far from it), however like any sign I’m sure there definitely ARE selfish Cancers. It’s just not their natural disposition.

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celtyc i understand what you say, but coming from the air rationalizing perspective , i said this to freebird too in soul unions, it can be hella difficult to understand where those things come from...each element has its own UNIQUE vices. in my eyes air signs will be selfish in different ways (ignoring you, unemotional etc.) but that doesnt change the fact that in my experience and in my eyes, cancers have been selfish , to me, always. that is not bad, it could be the relationship dynamic between myself and cancers. Im pretty sure they think im a selfish biatch also, and thats perfectly fine. I dont aim to please everyone, because its not possible. No misunderstandings on this side

Kat, I dont get who your comment is directed towards? Its not about placing expectations. Its about people reacting when they are supposed to respond. That is how I feel water signs in particular reply to me.

posted October 08, 2005 09:04 AM              

Well my feeling ,

selfish : no , a big one at that .
self centered : yeah , maybe.

there are complete selfish cancers as everyother sign .

posted October 08, 2005 09:11 AM              

reagarding your mom's example in respect to her attitude toward her son , i have been almost same kind of conditions that u have been thats why i reagrd u as a competitor , i toatlly agree with your sentiments and logic , even i have the same attitude towards someone but i'll just say , neither u nor i know what we would do if we were in the same condition , with our children .

to add a bit of information , the scorp guy who told me this , actually had a monetary benefit from me in the very initial pahse of our friendship ( we became pretty close really fast , atleats from my side )thats why he said i wasn't included . but u got to read between the sentences , i am good if i dont ask my interest but if i do , i am selfish .
if thats the logic , i am not ashamed to say , yes iam selfish .
and i am not defending my self , i have passed that stage , i care but i wont go overboard and loose my respectibility in the process .
do u need to say , anything about caps or aquas not interested in thier interests .

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Cancers-do not cling to strong people-they cling to people who also clingers-that is why they get drained"

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posted October 08, 2005 09:53 AM              

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scorpio is selfish when self centeredness goes overboard.

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cancer is selfish by default.

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What do u mean ?

btw sg , i dont think that even the very close people to gems really know them , isn't it selfishness on thier part , not to let even thier dear ones to understand them and fellings

posted October 08, 2005 04:08 PM              

its not keeping ur self interests in 'mind' . its deciding to help or withdraw based on that, even where u could help a little, if it has even a one percent chance of endangering cancers in any way, they will pull back and say no. very firmly and very quietly, but still no. sometimes u do have to sacrifice, being a gemini even we are supposed to be the most selfish sign ever, i know we are selfish, but how much i dont know, anyways even myself i will feel pity or sorrow for someone and give up something of mine for their comfort sometimes, but ive never seen a cancer do that, literally sacrifice. they will share and give yes but sacrifice, which is at the expense of oneself, never. reread my first post, i am clarifying, u didnt seem to address the issue of sacrifice versus giving. and its not always necessary but sometimes it is VERY necessary to show your character.

btw other ppl not knowing us gems is not selfishness its just confusion becoz even WE dont know ourselves. its very confusing. if we DID know ourselves we would share but since we dont its not even intentional.

sometimes gems will intentionally pull back, that is selfish when someone is actually willing to listen and help.

but if someone isnt willing to listen and just wants to mock, pulling back is not selfish its the darn smartest thing a person can do--dont fight, dont provoke, just pull back.

btw i dont think i need to be told how i would act as a parent. NO DOUBT i will make multiple mistakes, but clinging and suffocating will never be one of them. all the gem [parents i know focked up becoz they gave their kids too much freedom or not enough guidance, or didnt set good role models, it was never about suffocation.

i cant stand suffocation period. one human can never possess another so no use trying

btw i dont get ur point on vice, expand?

u say ur not defensive but it sounds that way. in any case im not afraid to say that yes at times geminis are selfish. and very much so. its bad and needs to go.

but you cant seem to accept that cancers can be selfish. maybe looking outside the astro book definition, take a look at the cancers of the world before u make that decision?

posted October 08, 2005 07:37 PM              

"I never thought Cancers were selfish to begin with "

posted October 08, 2005 09:39 PM              

Think "Vin Diesel". He is pathetic when it comes to being a tough guy, especially when compared to his Leo counterpart (in musclehood) "Schwarzennager".

posted October 08, 2005 10:31 PM            

Firstly,speaking astrologically, my brother is a Cancer and we share a close relationship. In my experience, he does not cling to other clingy types, quite the contrary. He associates himself around a multitude of personalities. I think that Cancers are often misunderstood here. People confuse their innate ability to sense and absorb others emotions, instead they are often labelled clingy or possessive. Also, on the subject of challenging the Cancerian attitude towards sacrifice, my brother is the most sacrificial person I know. He is the kind of guy who would take the icy blow of adversity rather than allow a friend to take it. If I had to travel a thorny road of uncertainty and danger, my first and only choice of companionship would be my Cancerian brother, a true warrior he is, and he would do anything to protect the ones he loves, even if it means sacrificing himself.

Now, talking NON-astrologically, I must note an observation I have made since arriving at this site. There seems to be a clear divide in relation to what people consider 'fashionable sun signs' and slightly less fashionable ones. And not surprisingly, the more fashionable signs are the Air and Fire signs. Why do you think this is? Maybe because the Air and Fire elements are naturally outgoing by nature, and the Earth and Water more introverted. Or Maybe because the Air and Fire signs generally govern the fundamentals of intellect, with Earth and Water ruling over emotion. So is it really any surprise to find Air and Fire signs generally more expressive on a forum where thought and intellect walk side by side?

My point is, each element, each sign, has its own inherent beauty. A Cancerian possesses the gift of emotional sensitivty, they can attune themselves to the slightest change of mood, the slightest shift of emotion, and can empathise deeply with others pain and joy. Sadly, so often their empathic gift is not recognised and is passed off as 'clingyness' or 'over-emotional' and 'unintellectual'. Equally, Geminians fateful blessing exists in their abilties to sense changes of thought, to capture in an almost telepathic way, the thoughts of others, and use their curious and eloquent skills of language to re-invigorate the old into the new. Again, Geminians gift is often assigned the titles of fickleness or flighty, not able to retain focus, being too intellectualised and detached, and people of dormant emotion.

We all have our own gifts, though if we allow competitivness to dampen and dim their voices, all we have left is 12 very different and distinct groups, all trying desperately to understand each other. Some sun signs will be focused on intellect and have great intelligence. Some will be focused of emotion, and have incredible insight emotionally. We are here to learn from each other. Emotional intelligence is on equal standing with intellectual intellgence, and ultimately we all hope to attain a perfect balance of each. But for this mutualising to happen, it helps if we acknowledge the potential ALL of us, no matter what month born to, possess. Selfishness can be a trait of anyone, Earth, Air, Water or Fire. And so can generosity. We often find the answers in our fellow kin if we admit to not knowing the answers ourselves.

Share freely, and freedom will share with you. Stop seeking the youthfulness of knowledge, and the youthfulness will seek you.

posted October 09, 2005 01:11 AM              

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Now, talking NON-astrologically, I must note an observation I have made since arriving at this site. There seems to be a clear divide in relation to what people consider 'fashionable sun signs' and slightly less fashionable ones. And not surprisingly, the more fashionable signs are the Air and Fire signs. Why do you think this is? Maybe because the Air and Fire elements are naturally outgoing by nature, and the Earth and Water more introverted. Or Maybe because the Air and Fire signs generally govern the fundamentals of intellect, with Earth and Water ruling over emotion. So is it really any surprise to find Air and Fire signs generally more expressive on a forum where thought and intellect walk side by side?

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sorry but i just have to say THIS IS TOTALLY UNTRUE!!!! UNTRUE UNTRUE UNTRUE.

the heavy preponderance of members that have been here for a while or post a lot is WATER, like pixelpixie and sueg and a lot of other scorpios. i love the scorps but i gotta tell you sometimes i feel like a big group of scorps is running at me when i say something anti-water or something

u said yourself you havent been here long enough...i think this forum goes through stages of praise and knocking down various signs , but it definitely does NOT favor air or fire signs. myself being a Gemini believe me there was this whole ERA when there were like 20 anti-gemini threads, and thats perfectly FINE. having a scorpio stellium myself, i am not anti scorpio and dont prefer one element over the other. however, i DO like my own gemini influence more than my scorp influence, on myself.

posted October 09, 2005 02:44 AM              

BUT Betel, I do get what you're saying about fire and air usually being considered the "cool" signs. I think it's just the way they are interpreted. I mean most interpretations make fire signs sound like they're invincible and get whatever they want whenever they want it. They make air signs sound like they're very intelligent and friendly and extremely popular with numerous friends and acquaintances. Whereas water signs and earth signs get interpreted as sensitive, emotional, moody, stable, structured, modest, steady (besides Scorpio..which seems to be another favoured sign along with air and fire) I'm not sure why this is really, but in any event when reading any fire, earth, air or water sign interpretation I think it's important to keep in mind that to some extent everyone has a bit of each element in their chart and in their nature (if not their planets, then almost always in the houses where those planets are placed).

I also think each group brings an individual set of traits to the table and they are all AS important, otherwise there would be absolutely no balance. What would we do without earth's stablity and strength or water's emotion and sensibility or air's intellect and friendliness or fire's inspiration and courage.

But the popularity thing could be an age group issue. Younger people, in my age group for instance..I'm 19, would see air and fire qualities as MOST important.. because youth seems to equate to air and fire - friends, parties, high energy, lots of inspirational dreams and goals. On the other hand older people, at around middle-age or so would see the emotion of water and the stability and dependability of earth as a lot more important traits in life. Because that's the age when work and family take up more of your time..and the fun and games (air and fire) are no longer there as much as they used to be.

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But for this mutualising to happen, it helps if we acknowledge the potential ALL of us, no matter what month born to, possess. Selfishness can be a trait of anyone, Earth, Air, Water or Fire. And so can generosity. We often find the answers in our fellow kin if we admit to not knowing the answers ourselves.

Sun signs are important aspects of us, but lets try to consider the composition. After all, we are all made of the same stuff arnt we? Blood and bones? No - Energy!

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posted October 09, 2005 04:06 AM              

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u didnt seem to address the issue of sacrifice versus giving. and its not always necessary but sometimes it is VERY necessary to show your character.

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AGREE. but my question remains . dont compare it with a gem or a virgo( i have seen a bit selfless people) , compare it with other signs that i have mentioned .

my only point was , a finger should be pointed by someone who isn't as guilty ( of what u think) as me .

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btw i dont think i need to be told how i would act as a parent.

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U weren't told . just shown a glimpse of the reality .

i dont think suffocation is the right word to describe your mum's attitude in the circumstances .

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u say ur not defensive but it sounds that way.

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your preconceived notions about cancers , at work . nothing else. i always sound that way.

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but you cant seem to accept that cancers can be selfish. maybe looking outside the astro book definition, take a look at the cancers of the world before u make that decision?

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CANCERS NEVER SHY AWAY FROM ACCEPTING THIER MISTAKES . THIS THREAD IS AN EXAMPLE OF THE FACT .
they might not use words but they feel guilty and show.

lets not lokk at the pecuilar cases , were the majority of the cancers that u have met ,selfish ?
in which way do i sound , selfish

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sometimes gems will intentionally pull back, that is selfish when someone is actually willing to listen and help.

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