posted October 31, 2005 07:18 AM              

My ex basically turned into my manager, managing our household and finances-I felt like an employee, and we never discussed emotions because they weren't "mature".

I like how air signs are so into their work, but it can be obsessive.

Water moon men are a great idea, but the ones I have met are gay, on drugs, or psychiatrists! Maybe I'll meet a single one someday.

One thing about looks and status, yes it's true it's not mature to look for that, but we are human and can't help our feelings-if we get burned it's a lesson but it's not immature to express love simply and honestly-too often I get that-repress rather than express idea-and it's not the way for me. I can express through work, but those feelings are always there.

Eventually I would prefer a lover who is not necessary deep, but who prefers to express love directly and honestly, without trying to be sophisticated-it's so backwards to fear love and sex together. Lots of men seek status to avoid people because they didn't get enough love from their status seeking mothers-its' called obsessive attachment disorder, not enough attachment, so that the child becomes attached to things, and people as things.

Thanks for the great insights,

Love,
Natasha

posted October 31, 2005 09:00 AM              

What on made you think LeylaLeFay and fayte.m are the same person??

posted October 31, 2005 12:05 PM              

I think -- sorry Shtenri to use your thread to say this -- this whole forum is full of women pining after elusive Aquas, or should I say A**holes, or someone who has Moon or Venus in Aqua, or manipulative, self-sabotaging Scorpios, etc. It's always the same pattern, pining and wondering why the guy who exudes nothing but indifference doesn't already realize that the two of you are in reality -- get this -- SOULMATES For crying out loud!! It's painful to read these posts by women who are otherwise so insightful, funny, smart, creative, sexy, interesting, and lovable.

Write this on your mirror with bright red lipstick and read it aloud at least 10 times a day: A man who is interested in you will let you know without a doubt -- Testosterone, Ego and genuine Interest will see to that. If he doesn't appear interested, guess what -- it's because he isn't.

The simplicity and logic of this may be shocking but it's the friggin truth. Stop letting those guys who don't deserve you in the first place drain you. They are like vampires, sucking your vitality and self-confidence out of you and leave you empty and more desperate. There are plenty of men out there who are able of love.

Unfortunately, those guys who are able to receive and give love are often deemed "boring" by the same women who whip themselves into a frenzy over a guy who walks all over them. Instead of reading "Why Men Love Bitches" read "Women Who Run After A**Holes."

IMO they have been set up for this by unloving parents who failed to give them a sense of self-worth.. And guess why I know all this? First hand of course, LOL! I could write a book about it myself.

posted October 31, 2005 01:48 PM            

"When a woman drives to see a man, the only thing missing is the "We Deliver" sign on the top of her car."

That is absolute Bullcrap.. I am sorry, but in this day in age it is almost necessary for a woman to meet a man somewhere neutral. (I will drive to meet a date for the first few times at a restaurant) I will NOT allow a man that I don't really know or have only dated a few times come to my house. It is too dangerous.. there are too many women raped, assaulted or killed because they allow a seemingly nice man pick them up at their home...

Welcome Stalker. LOL..

BUT.. I do agree, if you are secure with this person and you have his history, work, home information.. then yes, have him pick YOU up for the date .....

posted October 31, 2005 04:06 PM              

even if u meet a man who seems nice , ask his sun sign. if it is air, RUN AWAY.

they just have NOT worked for u

posted October 31, 2005 07:33 PM              

I don't have much luck with Aquarius either. Don't know what it is about them but if they are not about to get lucky, they will want their pals to tag along. If they can get lucky with their pals included, they probably would.

You are a very nice person and I know you deserve more than someone who will think of you as a possession that will be there when he wants and be kept in the side pocket when the situation doesn't suit him.

Someday, you will find a nice gentleman that will respect you and be confident enough to actually enjoy seeing all the men flock around you without getting too jealous. A little jealousy is cute. Jealousy to a point of not wanting you to talk to anyone else is plain stupid.

Anyway, I know that you will find that perfect guy one day... until then, cheer up have fun!

Miss Muffet

posted October 31, 2005 07:48 PM              

quote:

---

Water moon men are a great idea, but the ones I have met are gay, on drugs, or psychiatrists! Maybe I'll meet a single one someday.

---

posted November 01, 2005 03:45 AM              

It could have been ME.....maybe I didnt look at MYSELF and see what couldve been changed. My Aqua ex was very funny, great company, and every time he took me out he would whisper in my ear "as usual you are the best looking woman in the room"....he aways bought me flowers....in other words was romantic. I drove him made cos I was a typical Scorp.....intense, jealous and in his face....I wasnt right for him.....as he wasnt right for me.

I now have a few Aqua males in my life. They are all very friendly, kind and great craic. My hubbie, has Aqua moon, and that very thing that almost drove us apart, his aloofness, has become something very challenging and alluring to me.....it has taught a lot about me....that I needed to back off and stop being so intense.

Nat I'm not saying you should stay with your Aqua, but what would be great is if you could learn from him without criticisng him too much....I have learned the hard way girl......I have had three marriages and now the one i am in now has taught me to look back at myself big time.

Sometimes when we change and grow.....so does the partner.....

love to all

Sue

posted November 01, 2005 04:42 AM              

Yeah, like I said, there were good moments, and I am not perfect, I know that, but the whole situation became unlivable with. Remember, I was MARRIED to an Aqua, I wasn't even just going out with him. In fact, I went out with him for almost a year before I got married and was given NO clue to his true personality WHATEVER, I discovered it about a month into our marriage and thought, "Oh my God..."

Ah, relationships are so complicated - I shall wait a good long while before committing myself again!

posted November 01, 2005 04:57 AM              

Srsly, you make a few good points. My problem, and I'm not sure about the ladies here, is that those of us who do tell the uninterested-seeming blokes to take a hike, find themselves then innundated with attention and affection from same fellows. Seriously, you finally get yourself to a point where you are able to tell them to **** off and they realize you are the only one for them. After all the loyalty and patience didn't work.

I think this applies to Aquas the most. But they are great friends and, Sue G, if they can't take our intensity, that's their problem. Don't tell me they didn't *love* our intensity when we were giving it to them between the sheets. *devilish laugh*

Scorps are intense and the sky is blue. Live with it. We lived with their lack of emotional displays afterall....

posted November 01, 2005 07:55 AM              

In the end there is no trust, no sincerity, no real love. This is proven by the fact that when one side "slips" the other takes advantage. Listening to peoples stories makes me sad.

And my own repeat the same patterns.

Relationships have become more a hobby, power play and conversational piece than the bonding of two people with their hearts and minds open.

Sign of the times methinks.

Love to all, especially you Sthenri.

posted November 01, 2005 09:02 AM              

AT...I understand what you say.....Nannyfish..spoken like a true Scorp...and I always used that line about intensity....until very recently.

You see I even burnt myself out at times with the power of that emotion, so what hope was there for another to live with me.....and the irony is when I decided to balance that intensity out....I dont mean to lose it...oh no....it now gets channeled into lovemaking, music, singing, laughing crying et etc, whereas it used to be used to attack, as a weapon cos I wanted to get MY way.

I agree with Swerve....sign of the times indeed....I remember Peajie answering a question about relationships and happiness and his answer was "its nothing to do with happiness...what you need to do is ask yourself do you love that person"....

When a very intense person meets in the middle with a very aloof person....what do yet get? A perfect blend of energies....I never understood this until recently....I just used to fight, fight, fight. But I do love, deeply, and altho it aint easy.....the aloof one....the Aquarian Moon man has taught me indeed to balance out my Scorpio extremes........mmmm......I am glad I gave myself a chance with this one....and take my hat off to HIM for staying....I am indeed learing from those Aries/Libra nodes that the me,me,me has to transform into we, we, we!

Love to all

posted November 01, 2005 02:56 PM              

Since writing this passage guys, I reverted back albeit briefly to my old fecking stingy scorpio self (we all slip at times dont we). As soon as I had done it, I realised how wrong I was and when he said "you have a self destruct button", that made me weep......aaarrrghhhhhh.......he is such a good teacher, if only I would listen MORE.

So just to let everyone know, despite my age and my three thousand husbands LOL.......I am still on the road to recovery so to speak......the only difference now is I know it is me who needs to change....sigh......(well it wouldnt be him would it he is a Virgo......hahahahahahaha) !!

And I definatley aint coming back as a Scorp next time. I swear to God one of these days I will sting myself right up my own a****.........

posted November 01, 2005 03:33 PM              

How are you doing today? Still thinking about where'd you like to move to?

Might I suggest the Hamptons? Then have a big bash and invite all the Knowflakes over. (Hint: Fly into La Guardia everybody, it's quicker!) You'll forget about that Aquarius in no time after partying with us. Hehe.

Just kidding around.

But how are ya?

posted November 01, 2005 04:39 PM            

Couple quotes i try to meditate with:

"The capacity to be centered where you are at the moment and yet prepared to move on if necessary can be aquired with practice"

"That which offers no resistance can be harder to push"

"To desire without any wish for attachment is a high aim"

posted November 01, 2005 04:52 PM            

And true we are just being ourselves here is where we come to rant and vent and we do so bc we feel an unconditional love and we feel we are not being judged on our mistakes and choices and so forth.

posted November 01, 2005 05:42 PM              

quote:

---

Relationships have become more a hobby, power play and conversational piece than the bonding of two people with their hearts and minds open.

---

hey swerve how ya doin? dont sound too good there!

i dont think relationships have become that, i just think people enter into relationships without
1. knowing the other persons vices,
2. whether or not they can truly compromise with those vices
3. being true to themselves

if those conditions are met there are plenty of happy relationships ive seen and ones that continue to emerge here and there....every couple has growth to go through, it depends on whether u grow TOGETHER or APART?

im a believer in love, but in love of my kind, the one that makes u complete yet promotes your individuality, protects but lets free, makes u better while u make the other person better. now isnt everyones definition of love different? just so, every relationship is bound to be different. its whether those differences can be reconciled or not that cause so much fury, hatred, bitterness, resentment

posted November 02, 2005 04:18 AM              

"why not leave? why play him into coming back to her for round 2?"

Ummm..did I not explain she packed all her things and gave the ring back? They are split up.

"I think the prob here isn't that Men go after bi*tches.. The prob is women go after a-holes.. Good looking a-holes or rich a-holes.."

Oh dear me no. You are so wrong. My friend went after this guy because he was the shy nerd. He started off all sweet and sensative, that's why she thought he would make the perfect boyfriend.

I know of very few women stupid enough to go after men who are cold/distant/unresponsive from the start.

I think every woman here has had the exprience of picking the "Nice Guy" who seems to sincerely adore you and having him turn into the "@$$hole." I know I have.

Ultimately he's chasing because he can't *have you* (and by that I mean, specifically sexually)...if.. she gives in at one point then he'll have her and move on his merry way, because that's all he ever wanted.

I have always stood by a strict waiting period before sex, but I have to correct this: Men dump women after sex because women change after sex. The strong confident women he went to bed with becomes desperate, needy, clingy and trys to extract promises. We do this because our mothers told us boys would "lose respect" and dump us after sex. It has become a self fulfilling prophecy.

I have never had a man dump me after sex. Ever. This is because I leave immediatly after and don't call them. I find they shift into full panic, wondering if I was disappointed with their performance. If anything they want me more.

Lauren- I see you are waiting for the guy who won't take advantage of a woman even if she lies down holding a sign that reads "DOORMAT"

Well keep dreaming sister, cause he 'aint out there.

Cold hard fact of life: You teach people how to treat you. Many women set themselves up to be victims without realizing it. Even the nice sweet shy guy will take advantage of you if you let him!

I myself have had the experience of the "nicest guy in the world" becoming an unfeeling jerk. If only I had these books back then!

Aen who is fayte.m and why do people think he/she is me?

posted November 02, 2005 08:11 AM              

However, when I think of love I don't consider it something for me. Or seomthing somebody else can tailor or grow into with someone.

I think its something that is already there and unchanging. We find different ways to look at it, catch different aspects depending on our personal perspective.

But over time you will change, and so wil your definition of love. You will be looking at it from a different angle, but still viewing love as it stands there in its entirety.

I believe the destination remains the same, whether we use different paths to journey there or not.

I am still forming my own perspective on this however, and am always prepared to be wrong in the face of a better viewpoint.