posted January 06, 2006 05:57 AM              

I just found out that my ex-Cancer while on holiday with me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear and telling me she hoped I didn't see us as a fling and that she hoped we were ok, blah blah bloody blha, was telling other ppl on the holiday (my friends!) that she didn't see herself as being with anyone at the moment and that she wasn't ready for a relationship!

On the holiday I had invited her on. Just got this a couple of weeks back!

Schizophrenic tendencies? No wonder it was easy for her to break it off.

She said she hated games, but seemed to be playing them all the time. In a state of denial. And like your story, was very keen to point out where I needed to change and had issues, but never EVER admitted she was in the wrong or had her own faults.

I'm looking at Scorpios now, much more suitable for me. Love their honesty and intensity and they love mine.

Cancers seem too immature in love for me (again not all of them!).

posted January 06, 2006 07:12 AM              

The conversation what you are talking about.Him telling his friend that there was nothing between you and him was a lie. He was hiding his inner most feeling. It could be that he was keeping a secret from his firends. Why a secret ?? maybe because first he wanted to be sure whether you love him or not.
I can relate to it well I can do that.If my friends are teasing me about any guy and I can come up with that no there is nothing and I don't like him. He is nothing for me.

It seems he loved you a lot or still loves you and you hurted him by saying NO.

quote:

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but he was really really rude and insulted me.. insutled me abt everything.. the way i talk, my voice, my lifestyle, my hobbies, my job.....it was unbearable ..but i knew he was hurt and it was his way of getting back at me.

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I can completely relate to this. He might have complimented on all this and later when you said NO. He insulted you.It just makes them feel better and get rid of the rejection.

I am not an expert but irrespective of any sign that guy would be I think you can just tell him what you feel about him and he would definitely not answer that fast as you expect.There would be again a silence. Give him some time to think about as it would be very surprising to know that you still love him. If he is still alone and not involved with someone else he would think about it and get back to you.I don't think he would get back to you so soon if he has anger. Just try to understand this man by his eyes and the way he behaves. I think if he is still staring all the time there is something. If he doesn't think he can be with you if he has any other gf or whatever I think he would tell you or well maybe ignore you.Atleast you would be able to tell him and get to know what he really feels about you.

Atleast you would be happy that you told someone what you feel rather than hide it.
Clear the confusion and don't lose your sleep in guessing what he is thinking or whether he loves you or not.

posted January 06, 2006 08:14 AM              

when he told me he is available i made it clear to him i want him back...n if he feels the same i am waiting for him!
guess what?..he said ok and wanted to meet up....
what next..
the same day he changed his mood and stopped answering my calls again!!!!!

this time i really felt like laughing rather than crying!!....what in da world was wrong with this man??? or is he a man or what??
after a few days i called him from my friends cell cause he woudnt answer mine and asked him what was wrong THIS TIME???...he said 'what do u want from me? i already have a girlfriend' i said: so why da hell u told me u r still single after 1 year?? he had no answer!......
i promised him i would never call him again and wished him good luck with his gf.

boy o boy was i in terrible shock again!!
a cancer man had given me so many major electric shocks that i had started feeling numb!!..no feelings..no pain...no nothing this time!...so i decided it was the end chapter closed!

but then when he saw me again after 2 months n came running to me and started calling me all of a sudden!
thats when i told him to back off and tell me what he really wanted! n stop playing games ..but he said he wants nothing!!

NOTHING!...NOTHING!...so y in the world r u ruining my life i thought!
what does this man really want?...whenever i think of moving on and i try to forget him he comes back with a bang!
i cannot ignore him, i am crazy for him too but he is driving me crazy with this cat n mouse game!
i am going to b in his city in a weeks time..i dont think this time he will have the guts to approach me after what i said to him...
but i really want to know , is he confused? is he flirting?...is he really in love?..is he scared? or as my friends call it
'A FATAL ATTRACTION when ever he sees me'
(he did praise me alot on how good i look and that i should seriously take up a career in modeling, so it might just be that he finds me attractive!)

posted January 06, 2006 08:43 AM              

Never telling the truth or letting you know where you stand. And expecting you to just stay there in position if they change their fickle minds again!!!!

I really really feel for you.

These kinds of Cancers don't deserve real love they are sitting ducks waiting for some unscrupulous soul to play their game with no plan and make them feel they are right, then treat them like crap because that is the only type they attract and keep.

They deserve it. But they will tell you how much people have hurt the and betrayed them, oh woe is me.

Drop him and face the fact that his little pincers got into vulnerable spots to manipulate you. Whether it was directly intentional or not, they knew the risks and they were all on your part, not theirs.

Find someone who isn't so wrapped up in themselves. You'll feel better looking back.

It's just a merry-go-round of emotional blackmail.

Jump off and find a better ride.

Swerve

posted January 06, 2006 10:13 AM              

Treat this one as a friend, would you put up with a friend who treated you this way? Give and expect the same in return, be a friend nothing more.

I know it hurts but I have a Cancer Moon too and I always attract Cancers, there will be a good one.

posted January 06, 2006 11:05 AM              

What is scaring the life out of Cancers and making them so cold and detached at the moment? The stories are so similar it is impossible not to notice whats going on.

Is Venus Retro affecting them this way?

They are almost accusing others of what they are usually accused of themselves.

Very interesting.

What happens when the trend comes right again and they reach out to those they have been shunning as of late?

posted January 06, 2006 12:35 PM              

I don't trust my Pisces imagination, colouring verything rosy pink in hindsight. Actualy, I have been fairly realistic in truth and I suppose I should follow my heart right?

It may hurt if I get no response, but something in me cries out for release.

She kept the gift I sent her last Valentine's and never told me. I imagine the ornamental ashtrays I bought her (romantic huh?) are still in her bedroom.

I just don't want to leave it until she finds someone else and then I find out she was waiting for contact.

Cancers aren't going to be straightforward now are they, and my instincts are screaming at me to do this.

Am I being a fool?

Swerve

--------------------------------------------

swerve u touched my heart with these words...
this is exactly what i felt abt my cancer...
i was soo helpless in love ...i wanted to just call him or write him a letter and say 'i loved u , i am nothing without u...i miss u a million times with every breath i take...i am completely nothing with you...i just dont exist without ur presence in my life..pls come back...pls!'
but i was too scared of him insulting or rejecting me that i just cried my heart out every day..( in my rosy imagination, i heard him replying me with love and affection..saying that he loves me too and all that....but it was only in my mind ...it was very far from the truth!)
really why are these people so much into them selfs... i dont beleive they can ever find true love if they sink into their own feelings for so long..
i mean i hav said 'i am sorry i hurt u ..pls give me 1 more chance..i know what i did was wrong.. i say i am sorry from my heart' ...but no use.

its like banging ur head against a wall!

this experience has really changed the way i used to think abt love n relationships..
its hard to forget him and impossible to fall in love with any one other than him!
i am just waiting for him to get married to someone ...that will really help me break free from this emotional stress on my heart.

thanks guys for reading my long crabby letters....my crab wont listen , atleast you guys gave me ur time.
thanks...

posted January 06, 2006 12:46 PM              

But with any balance there is a flip-side.

I think many heads will pop out of shells and look around to see who's there for them. It may come as a tremendous shock when their eyes meet no-one.

And then the clinginess will come back, and no bugger in reach.

I hope I'll be compassionate.

posted January 06, 2006 06:05 PM            

Well first of all I'm a gemini with venus in cancer, and I won't claim to be an expert but I've had quite the experience with two cancers loves once when I was quite young and the other a few years ago. I'm not bitter at all, it is just now I'm well aware of the play field and I opt to stay away. If you would like my opinion I would say let this particular cancer go. There is just simply nothing substantial there as of today. As for his commment on "she is nothing," well that is your bad, you should have confronted him immediately, just to alleviate any cat and mouse games. Second of all, I too may have claimed to a friend or two(no matter how close they are to me) that the object of my affection was in fact nothing. Why because that is my business and until I'm sure of the turn out I will wait, which is a tendency of mine. It doesn't reflect on my love interest what-so-ever. Not meaning to be harsh, but sometimes people behave oddly, not just cancers. It is a little well known fact that boys, men, girls and women often ignore, down play, cast aside, mock, or what-have-you the ones they want to be with most. It's just human nature especially when they are not yours and have no direct line to you. When they absolutely know they are yours and vice versa, its safe for him to come out of his shell. Simply put: most hide or ignore their feelings until the time is right, if ever. I believe this was the case with your particular cancer, but that's just my own view.

posted January 08, 2006 12:11 PM              

with this logic , we are the one who are responsible for your respect .
now take it in the context of the society that we are in ( yours and mine ) consider the social setup and then try to understand why he refused to acknowledge you in front of a office friend . also remember , cancers always try to keep in mind of what the society thinks of them , they can be quite consious of it unless they have come out of thier shell .

i am not trying to defend your cancer , i dont even think ,he is the kind that needs a defense .

posted January 08, 2006 12:20 PM              

will he come back and propose , quite hard to say but i dont think there are much chances . you have already rejected him once, thats why those rough talks . he is just smoothing his bruised ego .

the best way, just keep simple eye contact (incase you want him back ) .dont do anything else . you dont need to .let him cool off and whenever he speaks up ,answer him in the same tone . its as simple as that.

you may speak to him , not now though ,but when ever you do that dont bring up any talks about your clashes . he sure will bring that up , dont get perturbed ,its again just a way to be reassured .

posted January 08, 2006 04:45 PM              

i guess u guys are right, i should stop here!
this chase is endless..

all i know is if a guy really loves a girl ..no matter what horoscope,moonsign,rising,color, country, religion...etc..etc..he is,
he will come back!(if he loves u....)

posted January 08, 2006 08:49 PM              

quote:

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1.What " do's and dont's" u suggest when living with a male cancer sun, taurus moon ,venus leo in particular?

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Taurus Moon: lots of physical touch. You can't go wrong with that. Cancers also love to be touched...

Be prepared to stay home... If you are a Gemini that has to be around this is not the ideal guy for you... With these positions this must be a guy who would like to stay home watching videos by the fireplace rather than a partygoer...

posted January 08, 2006 08:52 PM              

quote:

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they can be extreamly insecure so make him feel secure in the relationship and about himself.

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posted January 09, 2006 03:26 AM              

My ex was a triple Cancer-
His bag of tricks included making fun of crippled people, rape victims, etc.

The technique was simple: Show the soft vulnerable Cancer side, get you to confide your painful secrets in him, so he can use them agaist you as a weapon.

Example 1: During a public argument with his ex girlfriend, he shouted out "You're a crazy b*tch because your father molested you!!!" In front of the crowd.

Example 2: A girl we knew told the heartbreaking tale of being prostituted out by her abusive father. He seemed sweetly sympathetic and encouraged her to confide in him.

Then the next time he had a trivial argument with her, he left vicious messages on her machine "You're nothing but a wh*re anyway! Maggots drip from your slimey ***, and you leave a trail everywhere you go! When you look in the mirror you know a wh*ore is all you'll ever be!"

Her roommate reported that the girl heard his messages, then cried and attempted suicide. He basked in victory.

Example 3: A guy we knew was crippled, and he sent him a nasty letter calling him a genetic freak and so on, and so forth.

Example 4: Myself, I told him of the domestic violence in my home, he was sweetly sympathetic as he pulled the details out of me- and in the next argument used it as a threat "I'll beat you the way your father beat your mother!"

Are you sure you want this guy back? Look very closely at this mans chart, and make sure there are no pluto problems. In fact, post his chart, and we'll all have a look.

posted January 09, 2006 04:48 AM              

thanks guys n LeylaLeFay i will try n get his details ,it would b great if anyone could do his astro chart, cause i really dont know how.

i have never been around cancers before
but emotional manipulators are all around me
my x aqua did it many times..
once i told him how one of my relatives became insane because he got hit on his head and that damaged some part of his brain..
the next thing i knew, when we had a huge argument he said :'u can go on and on with this argument because u come from an insane family..u r mad! ur family history proves it, insanity runs in the family..

i guess guys are less sensitive towards these kind of things than girls.

o yes than there is an arise female...i had to avoid her at all cost, because anything u say can and (100%) will be held against u everytime u are around her!!

posted January 09, 2006 11:16 AM              

well your cancer wasn't an example of a bad cancer but a bad person or shall i say pathetic man .

as for the esxamples that you gave , i am yet to see a cancer making jokes on disabled . rape victims - yeah , i would regard it more of a ignornance , not bcos they want to prove thier superiority or something .

emotional manipulations: i might agree with you here . you being an aqua (or is it sag )have the ability to get detached which cancers dont have . and here comes the emotional manipulations , a greedy attempt to save all that they might have built with thier emotions . this is what it is in close relations .mix ego ,dominance and all.
in trivial relations , we ofcourse can use it , i dont deny - we do it . but to say that a cancer uses people would be gross mistake .
my point , they dont do for thier benefits .
now, the question is, why all this emotional manipulations .
its for you to decide .

hippchick: again, i would say , you got to check his chart for the answers .
in my view , cancers are normally very decent with women . physical violence is not thier style especially with women . they might be moody or violent ( i am ) but then again , i am yet to misbehave with a woman . infact , in my view , cancers have a very good repo with women as friends .

posted January 09, 2006 04:48 PM              

2- can the reason of not answering all these messages be that he is simply not intrested?

3-if a cancerian man is really not interested what would he do? how is his behaviour compared to his normal behaviour of disappearing?

4- where do all these cancer man go when they hide or dissappear?..are they fancying other women, really where do they go?

5- the cancer style of a 3 months gaps..and then again contact..and then again 2 months gap..i mean iam looking for some one more permanent...who will be with me forever and ever and ever....24/7 ..but i thought cancers are not supossed to leave u...but then why???...
is it lack of intrest or they still want to keep their options open before they tie the knot.