posted January 23, 2006 04:43 PM              

very honestly,
i am not intrested in life any more.

do i really need to c a psychologist... i know i am ruining my life by running after an illusion.

posted January 23, 2006 04:52 PM            

Why did you guys split? Do you talk to him? Does he know how you feel???

posted January 23, 2006 04:56 PM              

...only I can imagine...

maybe you should focus on something which you enjoy doing and if is to be again with him you will be in the right moment, if not it means you not suppose to be together, maybe is a lesson for both of you and even is hard to do it you must move on!

I know is easy to say and hard to do... but be strong!

posted January 23, 2006 05:06 PM              

Does he knows about your feelings?

I've been in almost similar situation, but it last only few months, even he changed me very much and it was horible hard, I finally understand it just can't be! Some things we must accept as they are, maybe is in our destiny, in our karma, or are other reason which on the spot we can't understand why! Is not worthing to suffer so much for anyone, especially if he puts you in this situation!

posted January 23, 2006 05:42 PM            

I know that it is hard to boucne back from a broken heart I am going through the same thing right now,but I am not going to let it tear me down I am going to keeo it going.I too have dreams of this person and we are highly connected he is my twin yet he has not evolved enough for me yet that alone is painful, but I am going to keep going and you have to as well. There is always something better.

I know about the Magic Spell thing had this guy do that to me one time, so I could imagine how you might be feeling. But let me tell you you keep praying no matter how hard it gets just talk to GOD as much as you can.. Nothing is greater then he is No vodoo can beat him out.

YOu just have to get yourself together don't give up you have great things ahead of you rather you see it or not.

Here is a lil something for you to read to build up your strength. I hope you have a Bible if not go out and get one

Psalms 28 the entire chapter
Psalms 7 the entire chapter

Keep reading and reading and reading it I promise you, you will get pass this.

posted January 23, 2006 06:37 PM              

quote:

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i am not intrested in life any more

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that scared the holy bageeses out of me. I was in that spot I know what I tryed to do.

You don't really seem like you want to do the therapy thing. So I would go to the next best thing self help books. They can really help! You might want to look on amazon and see which ones fit you base on the feed back people give on the books. I know some good books I'll post the names later.
I'm not a real fan of perscrption drugs and you have to see a psychologist to get them any ways and you already said you didn't want to do that so here is an alternitave. I know some that works just as well a prozac but with out the side effects. 5-Hydroxytryptophan or 5-HTP its an amino acid a precursor to seritonin its best taken with B6. Look into it, it can really work wonders. It takes about 6 weeks to feel the full effects. Its a good first step to getting out of the pit your in.

posted January 23, 2006 07:26 PM              

Your post worries me & I would like to share a few thoughts with you.

I am currently going through something very similar. My 7 year relationship with a Sag ended on the last day of 2005. The way it ended was super bizarre as well. I have never been as stunned in my life as I was that day.

I seriously thought I was going to have physical heart failure----as if my heart was going to stop working, literally. It hurts like he**. I am not going to deny it.
Somehow in the middle of all this though I thought about me, myself, and what I need to do to survive this experience.
Ever since that moment I have been operating on survival mode. Each day is getting better than the one before..
I do things/occupy my time with positivity, I engage in activities/work that will help me grow as a person and open me up to new experiences and new people.

Please think about yourself and how crucial it is for you to LET HIM GO. Completely.
I'm not going to lie, I'm working on letting my ex go 100%. I'm not fully there yet at that 100% requirement but da** it, I'm working on it.

Think about your loss----because it IS a huge LOSS to break-up with someone---and mourn it, allow yourself to grieve it and also allow yourself to heal.
Healing your wounds is very important.

I decided that I have to let it go, put it behind me; learn the lessons that I'm meant to learn from it & learn them WELL, analyze them and move on, grow from this experience.
Be a better person than I was before.
Work on my own errors as well. I was not an angel in the relationship either so I know I have some growth to work on as well. Fixing my errors as a person, fixing the errors I made in the past also makes me feel better, the more I work on myself, the better I feel.

What keeps me going is self love.

Love yourself first and foremost. Take care of yourself, take care of your health--physically & mentally, treat yourself with the kindness others have not shown you...be positive, this will pass...your wounds will heal...you will smile from ear to ear soon, you will laugh and dance and be just fine
And if you ever think about him for an instant, hey, it is normal, because remember, this is a person that was part of your life and not just any person either...so its fine if for an instant you remember him but work on making those thoughts something fleeing...a passing thought...

If you want to speak to a therapist, then do it. That is a great idea you came up with because a professional is objective and able to give us an interpretation of things that we might need a little help with and can't see on our own because we can't step away from them.

I wish you the absolute best in your healing process.
Be patient, it takes time...and remember that we all heal differently, so don't be hard on yourself.

You are already doing great by acknowledging certain things in your post.

Love & Light

posted January 23, 2006 08:16 PM            

Hugs to you, it isn't easy for those feelings to go away.

posted January 23, 2006 09:20 PM            

So much good advice from people who have been where you are, know how hard it is to go on without that person in your life who means a lot.

Seeing a therapist is a good idea. Yes, it's hard to sit and talk to someone you've never ever seen before, tell them all your secrets and fears, but remember: 1. They have heard just about anything and everything; and 2. That's what they're there for, trained in doing. So try to keep an open mind about seeing one, and they could give you points of view about your situation that you had never thought of.

My heart literally has hurt, ached from losing someone I love (aside from the agony of the breakup). When the Aqua and I broke up last year, the pain was so deep for both of us (he has a heart condition anyways) that my heart was so heavy and it literally hurt in my chest, plus, he ended up going to the hospital while he was traveling to have some tests done, he thought he was having a heart attack. So, loss is a very real physical thing, and is a separation of the energies of both involved.

Try to force yourself to not focus on him and losing him...have you gotten good and angry? Really angry? If not, you might be turning your anger inward into depression. When I was going through my divorce a few years ago, I used to go out and hit the tennis ball around on the court, pretending the ball was my ex's head (it helped, believe me). Make it a habit to think of happier things, and you'll be surprised how before long you are happier. Believe it or not, but being unhappy and miserable can actually be a habit that a lot of people aren't aware of...

Hugss to you, things will get better.

posted January 23, 2006 10:00 PM              

Another thing, we've ALL lost loves which we regret losing for whatever reason. It may be the thing which will remind you to hold on more tightly next time...

posted January 24, 2006 02:27 AM              

i am also a Gemini.

will post later, but keep your chin up. You will snap out of it one day, but only you can pull yourself out of it. Gemini women get addicted to men, one troubled relationship after another, and it is worse if you have a prominently submissive Venus, or a badly aspected pluto (ouch).

post your chart, and ill come back with more later. in a bit of a hurry .

posted January 24, 2006 06:34 AM              

I mean, there's really nothing more to elaborate on, regarding the "muse". The best insights I've gained come from reading biographies. There are endless shades and hues.

posted January 24, 2006 08:41 AM              

You will get through this, I am holding your hand right now.

You are not missing him, you are missing what you thought he could give to you. What have missed for far too long. What should have been yours in life but was deprived. Love.

The dream of what he would give you is only that, your pain right now is the child inside crying out to a seemingly cold and senseless world.

Thing is, it isn't. You first need to identify what you missed, then what you need, and finally how you can give this to yourself. He would NEVER EVER be able to give you this.

Sounds like bad news right? WRONG! It means everything you ever needed and did not receive is inside of you, you just don't believe in your own love enough to accept it.

But you will.....

Hang on darling for a little bit and don't be afraid of the storm. Storms clear the air, always.

posted January 24, 2006 10:15 AM              

quote:

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You are not missing him, you are missing what you thought he could give to you ... You first need to identify what you missed, then what you need, and finally how you can give this to yourself. He would NEVER EVER be able to give you this.

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Swerve, I like very much all what you wrote to double trouble gemini! She should try to understand, even is so hard in the beginning! Nice words!