posted April 30, 2006 11:47 PM              

For example, I've been a science freak throughout my elementary, junior and high school years. I've taken science classes in college, but recently I ditched the sciences and took up some art classes....really grew that part of my brain, and i wouldn't have to be burned out w/ the sciences.

So see what you've been missing out on life...even if you think you don't like it, just try it, you may never know how its going to affect you. Perhaps a sport...something really intense (since ur an intense individual) to get ur mind off of sex.

Let ur aqua gf in on your personal dilemmas...b/c if ur the type that doesn't let his gf know what's going on...she'll feel left out and then doubt if u even like her. Hopefully she'll help you out, but of course u gotta try helping yourself. Overall, you know ur life situation better than all of us. So see which advice helps u the most, and use it.

Wish you all the best...

posted May 01, 2006 11:05 AM            

Okay, I didn't think anyone here was more Virgo than I...

I am a year younger and female...
Virgo Sun,Merc,Venus Juno 7th
Virgo Uranus, Pluto, Ceres P.Fort. 8th
Leo Jupiter 7th
Scorpio Mars, Neptune 10th
Aries Moon
Cappy ASC..

you said,
"I think I need to analyse my 'perfect relationship' and then question it's validity. Figger out what i want and see if it can be realised. Or if it is just fantasy"

Doing this and accepting the results will help you channel that energy elsewhere...

So , take a deep breath!
I read this recently on Virgo's....
"When a Virgo learns to quiet some of his worries and calm his anxieties his true inner voice, or his intuition, becomes a bit louder and easier to understand. This throws some Virgo's back into the dilemma of which mind to follow but if he pays close attention he'll notice that the logical mind is capable of errors, while his intuitive mind is only capable of love. Virgos seem to tap into the astral Internet without even realizing it. Take a poll and you'll find out that every Virgo you know gets phone calls from people they're thinking about just before the phone rings. You might say it's the universe's way of giving their intuition a wake-up call"

I guess you might just figure it out if you are willing to accept that logic may not be the way

posted May 02, 2006 04:47 PM              

Thanks for your kind words. I was very nervous about mailing this post, but I now feel alot better about it, and myself. Oh, and thanks for the 'cute' bit. I liked that too. Are you an Aries by any chance? with the Mars nick, an' all.

I think I am depressed. That's part of it. Depressed that I can't have what I want; or at least, not near the person I want to be with. My WILL is so strong. I always get what i want in the world. Even if I have to force a situation. I'm able to work so hard and for long hours to get results, money and 'things'. That I just don't like to 'give up' on anything or anyone.

I do sports: I swim and jog mostly. But not as often, due to working, as I should.

K is not my Gf. I would love her to be. But I just can't open up. I've told her that I love her, but that doesn't seem to be working. She has told me: 'You've hurt me too much'. But what I can't figger out(and, yes, I know 'figger' is not spelt that way, if anyone has noticed, but I just like it spelt that way) is: how can you hurt someone who doesn't have any feelings for you? To me, and I may be mistaken, that just doesn't make sense! So I think, because in our Synastry chart, her Venus is in my 12th house, there are feelings which are hidden. However, at the moment I can't tell if these feelings are good or bad. And as Tim has pointed out, I'm always going to be 'confused' about her feelings towards me. So I guess I should just accept that aspect of our relationship. I'm assuming her feelings are bad at the moment! She does have Scorpio Rising, so I guess she is feeling very 'hateful' towards me.

On the last gig we did, last weekend, in Bristol, UK, we had a very long STAREING session, at least, it felt like an Age. No words spoken. Just looking straight into each others eyes. Oh, god, I can tell you, I could feel her soul! I stared right at her. Not flinching. Drawing on my Pluto energy. She knew I was no phonny.

Anyhow... thanks for your kind words.

Stargazer

We should chat more. I bet we would have a lot in common.

Jazzebel

I'm asumming you are female with a nick like that! So hot!!! We should be able to 'burn' together very well. What's your birth details. I'd like to look at our synastry.

You said: "only that I don`t really need orgasms every day".

LOL, you haven't met my tongue yet!!! He he.

xxx

posted May 02, 2006 06:30 PM            

I wonder, and please don't take this the wrong way at all, was there a trauma in your childhood? Sometimes males that are not able to have a close emotional connection to a parent or if the connection is "too" close (evident in sexual abuse or cases of too much involvement with a parent) we see the adult child become overly sexual.

The emotional connection never seems to be there and sex is followed by guilt. The lust is over powering and that said guilt is just as much. So the person learns to shut off the guilt and "hide" the sexual proclivities, feeling ashamed and dirty. That can actually push them into more powerful fringe sexual encounters.

One person I knew would fixate on a sexual object - midgets, transexuals, beastiality and then throw himself into hours and hours of that type of porn while constantly gratifying himself (and I am talking for days at a time - numerous times a day). It led him to seek out various forms of sexual behaviour, men, women, transgender, groups, etc... just because of the sensation and closeness. But as he stated - even when he merged he didn't get the emotional connection.

I am not saying this is what you are dealing with your the path you will take. You are a few years older than I am and at our age we become more set in our ways and patterns. Experimentation does pop up now and again, but usually not in an overboard sitatuation unless some kind of upheaval occurs in our lives.

I can understand in a sense the power of Pluto. I have Pluto conjuncting my Ascendant in the 1st house (it Squares my Sag Sun / Venus). Sometimes I am overpowered by feelings of lust and the desire to merge (Mars in Pisces) yet, I keep a handle on it because I know it is not how I truly feel- more like a vibration that occurs from time to tim (although I am at a constant 3/4 way mark when it comes to sex - meaning - when I am in a relationship it doesn't take me much to get "there" since I am in some state normally). I attribute the ability to not act on it to Saturn in Taurus in the 8th (opposing my natal Jupiter). BUT, in a relationship I NEED to have that sexual contact -alone...well, there ain't nothing I can't do alone

What do you do when you feel that heavy hand of guilt?

posted May 02, 2006 10:02 PM              

To answer ur q...On the contrary...I'm a virgo w/ pisces rising. Mar is my nickname and the s just to make it a lil dubious

Anyways...did u ask her outright if she has feelings for u? Perhaps she is saying that b/c she used to have feelings for u and u had no idea and hurt her in the past. Maybe she can't have feelings for u b/c (w/ all due respect) maybe not much of a gentleman as u should be (as in not respecting her opinion, making fun of her, verbally put her down)?

Sometimes, just as u had this staring session, u need to constantly ask questions and don't stop until u get answers. Ask what she likes in men, and what she doesn't...think about ur behavior and try to adjust it to what she likes. So as u don't give up on anyone or anything, don't give up trying to make sense out of what she's telling u. Ask grls what would a grl mean if she says this and that...I'm sure they'd help. If not...u can always ask qs on this forum and I'm sure the grls here would help.

Try as much as u can to analyze what she's trying to say, and ask her...what r u going to lose to ask. For u to be scared to open up is probably hurting her as well...b/c in that manner, ur not making her number one in ur life (letting her in on ur secrets, etc...) and ur just telling her that u don't trust her...

And since I just looked at ur chart...I think u have the problem of giving the wrong impression to others (pis asc and opposing ur mercury). I have the same thing...so if I were u, take extra care when u express urself. Are you moody, b/c u might come off as an intimidating person w/ that pisces going on. I look like my father (he is a pisces sun) when I frown, and it isn't a pretty sight, let me tell u.
You have the emphasis on oppositions...where ur main issue is trying to get a balance of what you want and what others want. Try to find a balance, and u should be fine. Of course u have conjunctions, trines, and squares...but that's what i think stands out. It looks like a person underlined a word a bizillion times on ur chart (exaggerating, but u know what I mean)

Then there is other thing...I could be wrong, but u might come off as a very intense person, and w/ mars in leo in pursuit of women (and its a singleton)...u might be very intimidating. And its square neptune...uhh, u might be confusing then.

As Tim said, ur emotions are not in connection w/ everything else in ur life. Maybe she sees u acting in a certain way, but when u voice ur feelings for her...u throw her off, maybe ur actions don't match ur feelings. I could be wrong...but it's something u might want to think about.

Use ur feelings and show ur love for her through ur music. I see that ur venus and moon are in trine w/ ur Midheaven, which rules ur job. So that should be a good outlet...

Neptune in scorpio and 8th....that should be the source of confusion for u about sex. U need an artistic expression for sex...I don't know how u'll go about that one. I have my neptune in 10th house and cappy...so I'm pretty much confused about my career goals, but recently I've found my passion for art (my parents would shoot me if i ever tell them i want to go into art).

My head is starting to reel......all I can tell u is that u need to talk a lil more about ur situation w/ the grl u luv...

WAIT A MINUTE...u sleep around and u tell that grl that u luv her at the same time? I really hope ur not doing that...b/c that could be hurting her and u don't know it. Its just a thought that flew into my head at the moment (and I'm not shouting...it's a light bulb going on)

Ok...going back to what we were saying...yeah, talk a lil more about that (ur gf). Have you ever considered taking dancing lessons...like latino dancing (that is if u don't know how to dance)? It's artistic...it has a sexualized vibe to it (sorta fulfill ur sexual desires????), and perhaps, u could include that in ur music. Then ur music is talking about ur luv for that grl...which is a good outlet for ur emotions, and at the same time, u would've balanced a bit of ur "horny" nature, and its a good sport to drain off that depression of urs. I don't know if I'm making sense...so forgive me, and ask me to rephrase whenever u need to.

posted May 05, 2006 02:46 PM              

I had a good childhood. Of course one can, with hindsight, find fault with it, but as I was growing up I was very happy. Although I never really received much affection, told how good I was, or encouraged to make something of myself. I was a naughty, but likeable child.

I think my gulit lies more with the fact that my parents were very religious. Sex was not mentioned in the house. There was alot of repression. A lot of taboos. At least, that's how I saw it!

I was destined for the priesthood at 18, but saw all the hypocrisy and corruption. It put me off, so I left.

I was not sexually abused. Quite the reverse. Sex was never meantioned. There is just one instance that comes to mind. I must have been very small, I don't know the exact age I was. On a family day out to the beach, I saw my mother's vagina. She was changing into her swimming costume and I got sight of it. I remember it vividly! I think, from that moment onward, I associated the Vagina with my mother. And as a result that has left a profound impression on my mind. Vagina = Mother. For years sex was seen as procreational, not something you indulged in for pleasure.

When I feel guilty I simply abstain from my wild side and just have 'normal' sex. Lots of showers and cleaning up my mind. When I let go... I go wild! I don't think this is the right place to be explicit, but for me, it's all about 'exposure'. If you want to know more we'll have to talk via email.

Thanks for your interest. All this is helping me come to terms with this side of my nature.

posted May 05, 2006 03:11 PM              

If so, there is an easy method to reduce the excess lust.

You can also check for the placement of Asteroid Lust (Number 4386) in your chart for additional explanation.

posted May 05, 2006 03:40 PM              

As I am married to a much younger guy, it sort of feels "meant to be" that I am so passionate. I can grab him in the daytime when our son is at school and totally enjoy him, as he does me.

As a younger woman I was a little more blocked and couldnt relax as well.

I am wondering what excessive sex is to some? I like to make love every day, sometimes twice if I have time,,,,I dont think thats over the top.

If anything, my lustful nature is healing me....I feel so much more relaxed these days..stoned on love, and therefore feel less angry.....

It feels really good...

posted May 05, 2006 06:39 PM            

Addicts have tried often to stop, and failed. Their behavior generally conforms to a cycle:

1. Preoccupation -- the addict becomes completely engrossed with sexual thoughts or fantasies.
2. Ritualization —- the addict follows special routines in a search for sexual stimulation, which intensify the experience and may be more important than reaching orgasm.
3. Compulsive sexual behavior -— the addict's specific sexual acting out.
4. Despair —- the acting out does not lead to normal sexual satisfaction, but to feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, depression, and the like.

To escape these negative feelings, the addict soon becomes preoccupied with sexual thoughts and fantasies again, restarting the addictive cycle. Risk factors for the addict include unstructured time, need for self-direction and demands for excellence, because they all push the addict toward restarting the cycle.

A variety of questionnaires and tests have been devised to evaluate sexual addiction, but few if any have been formally evaluated, normed, or proven accurate. The cycle and beliefs above strongly characterize the sexual addict, however. In addition, Carnes proposes a basic test for whether a particular sexual behavior has become addictive:

1. It is a secret.
2. It is abusive or degrading to self or others.
3. It is used to avoid (or is a source of) painful feelings.
4. It is empty of a caring, committed relationship.

Do you fit these guildines beowulf? If so, what resources do you have?

posted May 05, 2006 07:12 PM            

I do find it facinating and please don't think that I am judging you. I think we all hold on to certain values and ideals we had as children.

I had a good childhood as well and I came from a very passionate family. My father's family is large (as any Spanish / American Indian family was back in the day). My mother's family wasn't as big (German / Cherokee). My father's family was / gregarious - children running around all the times, new babies, old ladies, old men - stories and stories being told.

My mother's side was more proper. Sex before marriage is looked down on (yet my Leo granny was wild and my mom was wild - but hid it). LOL... there were a few mixed signals- but sexually I adopted my own morals and judgments. My mom and dad hugged and kissed alot - so sex never seemed taboo to me, but at the same time I wasn't ready to just dive into sex - intuitively I knew that sex was going to be a merging experience. LOL.. not that I didn't play of course.

I understand the non-affection though. I was married to a wonderful Virgo that had a similar childhood. Sex was shameful - his parents didn't show affection. Now the ex-Taurus had similar experiences with his mother. But.. that was where the abuse came from - she and some other female relatives pushed it too far. I believe that is what compels him to both love and hate women.

Take care....

posted May 06, 2006 03:35 AM              

Men on the other hand lose essential fluids and this poses a grave danger.

Seaking of Asteroid Lust, I am probably the Emperor of Lust. Lust conjunct South Node. Maybe I was Shi Huang Ti in a past life. Cannot recall it though

Shi Huang built the Great Wall of China and personally supervised every tower, one tower per night. He also had a different girl every night. More than 2000 towers. Eat your heart out Gene Simmons...
BTW, Gene has Lust conjunct Ascendant and so does Bill Clinton.

Lust Energy is an offshoot of Kundalini Energy. If BeoWolf minimizes his lust and diverts that powerful energy into constructive work or reality creation visualizations, he would be a millionaire.

posted May 06, 2006 03:39 AM              

"tongue, tongue, tongue" Open Sesame!

Do I gain access now?

Slurp, slurp, slurp... I won't TEASE, I'll take my TIME... multiple techniques He he And of course... I'll be EXCLUSIVELY yours. Red hot showers,

The most curious thing about Virgos is the inability to 'break the ice'. At least that's what i've found. However, once that point in a relationship has been overcome then everything else falls into place.

I like a lot of verbal interaction in my relationships. Talkative woman, I find very attractive. Woman who are brooding and silent worry me!

You didn't post your birth details. If you don't want to post it publicly you can email me at carz1966x@yahoo.co.uk

I want to meet more people and make friends. Especially people who believe in Astrology. I guess they'd understand me better.

I'd love to take a holiday to Georgia. Never been to the US.

posted May 06, 2006 04:57 AM              

I wear alot of blue, black and white now. I've read Linda's chapters in Star Signs, 'Forgotten Rainbows'. (I think that's right... I haven't read it for a long time now, not sure) Which changed my dress sense about 10 years ago.

Wearing blue cools me down. I feel more relaxed. But it also makes me more receptive to people around me. And it draws females to me. Again, that does not help my sexual appetite.

If I appear threatening, cold and distant, that normally keeps woman away. But I feel really bad inside.

posted May 06, 2006 05:55 AM              

Twice a day sounds good to me. I'd like that.

I have 'sexual encounters' everyday but this does not always mean penetration. Or it can mean a 'quicky'. Or some other activity with a female friend. I'd like to point out i'm Straight!!

I prefer the long haul. I have spent 5 days in bed with a friend (yup, a Scorp)during a holiday. Got up to eat food of course, but everything was focused around the bedroom. She loved it, I did too. When I dumped her she always complained about her new Bf being a 'wham bam thank you mam', type of guy. As soon as he finished he was out of the bed and off doing something else.

You said: "totally enjoy him". That's the kind of mentality I love. I love it when a woman can be like that, say things like that. I get so aroused at the thought of a woman viewing a man as PLEASURE. Not simply as a means of earning money.

The reason I put this thread up is to HEAL me. I needed to get this out in the open. To come to terms with how i feel and hopefully find some answers.

I'm beginning to think that I need LOVE. I have female friends, and some of them, those I am initmate with, say they love me, but I don't love them. They're just not what i want in a serious, long term partner.

The problem is further accentuated by the fact that the woman I fall in love with don't love me. This has been a cycle in my life. I always seem to 'hurt' them. The truth is I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm just ME, and I behave the way I do. If I get intense, I get intense, it's usually really explosive, but I have to do it or i'll fall ill. Also it makes me feel WEAK if I don't explode. It makes me feel helpless; somehow, I have not expressed my individuality. I need to express these feelings.

I have bouts of Domination. I control. But some woman don't know when to surrender. Not even for their own good. Other woman don't know when to fight back. I don't want a door-mat for a mate. I want a equal who is passionate but not vindictive.

I must admit I find the idea of things, situations etc, as 'meant to be' quite difficult to get my head around. Nothing, in my view in meant to be. I've always, in my life, made things happen: finding more work, earning more money, finding new friends. I've never let life 'just' happen. K told me once "why don't you just let it happen?" I didn't understand what she meant at the time. She has Scorpio Rising, so I guess there is a connection between how a Sun Scorp would feel and a subject with Scorpio Rising would act. She often says things like "well, if it's meant to be..." and I just think 'Weakness!' Life is to be conquered, mastered, harnesed to your Will. Skills need to learnt to enhance your ability and worth. That's how I think! Running my own company has also validated these principles. I've learnt, through Astrology, that this comes from having Saturn conjunct my Ascendant. But INSIDE I am a gental Virgo, a worrier, who needs Support!

Getting a balance between these two 'states of being' is my task I think.

posted May 07, 2006 05:21 PM              

When I just read the post where u don't understand how u can let things come as they may...it reminded me of my situation.

I used to be very pessimistic, very distrustful of others...my friend used to tell me, don't think so much, just live life. Never understood that...but I realize now that it was b/c I didn't accept parts of myself that I couldn't accept parts of human nature that made me become so pessimistic, and have a hard heart.

What I think u have a problem with is that u lack patience...ur bouts of intense times is ur inability to be in control of urself. Also, that need of love...I think it is more like u need to be more receptive of the love that is around you. You need to give urself credit where it is due. I personally didn't think much of myself...never understood why people held me in high regard when I haven't done anything for them. I gradually realized that it was they held me in high regard, not b/c of my accomplishments, but b/c of my personality. I'm not horny in the sense that I engage in sex a lot...as a matter of fact, I'm a virgin, never had a bf....I just think about sex a lot. It is an addictive cycle, something that its better for u to get rid of by looking for a better and much more fulfilling substitute. Perhaps community service, a change of scenery, taking up a pet...something where u can put ur loving emotions into...something that needs caring and time to blossom.

I don't know if ur work takes all of ur time...but if it does, give some time to urself to remember ur childhood, the things that made u happy, be receptive of those feelings. If you want something badly...try to challenge yourself not to think about it at all....it will come to you, even if it takes years, when u least expect it.

You have to realize that the world works in ways we can't always understand. Just like in some other post, I don't remember where it was...if ppl let their intuition talk instead of your mind or heart dictating what u should be doing...u'll realize that it is the way to go.

For u to be so forceful and always wanting things the way u want it, and not accepting that if you wait a little while, something better might come along...might come off as self-centered and selfish. I don't know how u've hurt her...but ask her how u hurt her, and from that, u'll realize what it is u've been doing wrong..and then question everything that u've done to ferret out what's good from the bad....and in that process, become a better person.

As my part of the healing process...I've been reading Marcus Aurelius's The Meditations....great simple read. It's not more than 130 pgs, and all it is, is that it's filled w/ the Roman emperor's quotes on life. I kid you not...his quotations, though were millenias ago, still apply today. My healing/growing process has been taking me around 4 years now, and I'm feeling better and better about it.

PS I've been watching hindi movies...that has softened my heart a great deal. A good cry every once in a while is good for the heart. See what touches ur heart and be exposed to it every once in a while.

Wish u the best...

{Edit]Just wondering...can't white, blue, and black add up to depression? Personally I used to wear blue and black a lot...then I changed to beige and browns....I feel best in those colors (reminds me of the summer and warmth of the season...I don't know, I attribute the summer with happy and lovey dovey feelings), and sometimes..I'd wear springy colors, like aquamarine green...baby blue, light pink, and lavendar... Maybe u need to change ur colors to happier ones?

Here's one of his quotes..."How useful, when roasted meats and other foods are before you, to see them in your mind as here the dead body of a fish, there the dead body of a bird or a pig. Or again, to think of a Falernian wine as the juice of a cluster of grapes, of a purple robe as sheep's wool dyed with the blood of a shellfish, and of sexual intercourse as internal rubbing accompanied by a spasmodic ejection of mucus. What useful perceptual images these are! They go to the heart of things and pierce right through them, so that you see things for what they are. You must do this throughout life; when things appear too enticing, strip them naked, destroy the myth which makes them proud. For vanity is a dangerous perverter of Reason, and it is when you think your preoccupations most worthwhile that you are most enthralled." Book 6, quote 13

Another quote: "If the gods made plans for me and for what should happen to me, they made the right plans, for it is not easy even to conceive of a god counseling ill; and what reason had they to want to harm me? How could this be of benefit to them or to the common good on whose behalf above all they exercise their providence? If they did not make plans for me in particular, yet they certainly planned the general good, and as incidental consequences of this I should love and welcome what happens to me. If they do not plan at all-this it is impious to believe, or else let us not sacrifice or pray to them, not swear by them or do any of those other acts which we perform on the assumption that the gods are present and live alongside of us. But if they do not make plans for anyone of us in particular, yet I may plan for myself and examine my own advantage. And the advantage of each is what is in accord with his own make-up and his own nature, for my nature is rational and social.
My city and my country, as I am Antoninus, is Rome; as I am a man, it is the world. Therefore, only the things which are beneficial to these communities are good for me." Book 6, quote 44.

posted May 08, 2006 04:15 AM              

Thanks for all your help. I don't know how old you are, but on here, to me, that doesn't mean anything. Everyone has Wisdom in one form or other. Just listen to children, we all can learn so much from the simplicity of children.

You have written so much detail. And I'd like to comment on it all. Since I work so much I'll have to do it a bit at a time. But I'll get around to it.

But for now, just to let you know, you don't need a disclaimer. All I ask is that people are honest with there point of view. I'll disect it and take from it what I need.

If anyone wants to chat with me personnally, then please email me. I'm open minded and willing to chat.