posted December 16, 2007 03:39 PM            

Then block him.

posted December 16, 2007 03:39 PM              

I love your input, truly...but this is NOT about the child, or a packaged deal or anything of the kind!!! I ADORE HER!!!

It's about HIM!

posted December 16, 2007 03:39 PM            

That is man code for; "Dude I just screwed up and maybe if I can try to make myself look good she won't stick me in the appropriate ground beef column where I truly belong".

posted December 16, 2007 03:45 PM            

Gotta say the controdictory positions from all parties and both the sexes seem just too surreal but then one realizes that the situation is real Lol!

I think I am gonna let you guys figure out as to what the ACTUAL problem with this whole senerio is (and hopefully you guys can actually nail the problem down without any bias involved.)

posted December 16, 2007 03:57 PM              

Be friends with s/o for several months before even considering them in any other way.

Personally, I hate *dating*: "So, what do you do?"

posted December 16, 2007 03:57 PM            

However, in response to Hermes,

anyone who puts their partner/spouse/whatever before their children is a big disgrace in my eyes who does not even deserve the right to reproduce. I can never respect that and I'm glad there are sane people here who agree with me.

*edited to add*I mean, just because a single parent decides to date doesn't mean they have to put their obligations on hold for anyone's selfish ass.

posted December 16, 2007 04:05 PM              

Dulce Luna: I TOTALLY AGREE! As an only child AND a daughter who is VERY close to her father (I still sit on his 78 year old lap) I wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't put their child first.

As a professor, I see the outcome of when that's NOT the case and its incredibly sad to know that the ONLY kind word a teenager might hear on any given day - is my praise for his efforts, talent, new haircut, brand new pair of sneakers or doodles on the margins on his essay paper!

posted December 16, 2007 04:08 PM            

Dulce; Apparently you have to a Libra to understand that the love you give your partner can never be overwhelmed with the love of your children. They both get equal attention but for a Libra, the Spouce came first and the love you reserved for them can never be replced or overwhelmed by other factors.

Hmmm... Wonder if that's ther reason why more and more Libras I know don't want children.

Aria:

Oh its a factor alright , or it could be his own other priority. One can't tell for sure with the info. you gave (or can't be totally sure as to if its accurate since I don't know his side of the situation... And well, I can't say anything until I hear both sides of this discussion.) And that is important; Especially in relaitonship issues.

What I will say is this; He has different priorities and you have your own. He tried to accomidate you in but he couldn't and still yet tried to salvage whatever he could. Maybe his daughters are a priority and that he is just not that ready to get out on the dating scene as thought he would and its kind of a downer that it had to be you who ends up taking the hammering end of that unconscious realization. The best thing to do is to just move on and leave the situation at the middle ground of "miscommunication."

posted December 16, 2007 04:28 PM              

The crux here is NOT to concentrate on the child - she was NEVER an issue. Again, I had a previous post on him and started this one (very silly of me, I know) where I described him a bit and posted his char. I was always totally okay with her.

Its his behavior as it pertained to me that was the matter at hand. The ego, the over-confidence, the game playing, the bulldozer way he started to court me until I asked him to take it easy and "bruised his ego" as he put it.

However, its over and done with.

posted December 16, 2007 04:36 PM              

QUOTE
----------------
Dulce; Apparently you have to a Libra to understand that the love you give your partner can never be overwhelmed with the love of your children. They both get equal attention but for a Libra, the Spouce came first and the love you reserved for them can never be replced or overwhelmed by other factors.

Hmmm... Wonder if that's ther reason why more and more Libras I know don't want children.
----------------
QUOTE

I think you're right.

I think Libras do feel that the bond between them and their spouse is unmatchable. Children are created BY that bond. I really think that is how we look at it. I am not saying that if I were a single parent, I wouldn't put my child first, but there is a time for parenthood and a time for romance.

Sure, the two have to intermingle, but without romance you wouldn't have the children to begin with.

I'm sure Aria is sick of this outside discussion. :P

I really respect the fact that he prioritized his daughter as he did - taking her along without question. So, he's a great father. That's great!

Now, if he were only the opposite of what Aria experienced, he might be a great catch! Heck, he may even be a great catch for someone that's willing to put up with that behavior - who knows!

posted December 16, 2007 04:42 PM              

If I had simply mentioned his ego, arrogance and self-centered nature - his daughter would never have come into play! She was a detail in a larger picture and somehow, we're questioning whether he's a good father for putting her first or whatnot! Irrelevant!

I'll be the first to admit he's a good father. He's simply a LOUSY boyfriend who got his ego wounded and decided to treat me like dirt to get even! And when he couldn't make me "sit" on command, it only got worse!

posted December 16, 2007 04:49 PM            

quote:

---

Dulce; Apparently you have to a Libra to understand that the love you give your partner can never be overwhelmed with the love of your children. They both get equal attention but for a Libra, the Spouce came first and the love you reserved for them can never be replced or overwhelmed by other factors.

Hmmm... Wonder if that's ther reason why more and more Libras I know don't want children.

---

And you assume I do want children?? Ironically this is why I'm undecided about parenthood, because its a full time job.

Hey, you didn't have to create those children; no one put a gun to your head and shouted 'go forth and multiply'. But since you did, they're (or should be) your full responsibility. And that is part of why if my partner/spouse/whatever thought I was wayyy more important than his own children like Hermes' is suggesting, I would lose ALL respect for him. That's just disgraceful to me.

And no, I don't mean that they have to bring kids on dates all the time, but sometimes when there is conflict between the needs of an S.O. and the needs of a kid, the kid comes first.

If you were the kid who was made to feel like a hindrance on the parent's life and the reason for all their troubles than you would probably be would be talking differently. And without getting into anymore personal details I will boldly say that I was that kid.

posted December 16, 2007 04:52 PM            

The guy just has his priorities and expectations in a different place then yours and well that doesn't makes him a bad person one way or another if he can be a good parent at the same time. He just isn't spousal material for the free-spirit so to speak. So its just a clash of misdirected expectations and well... Its best to leave the senerio at that and leave it be.

posted December 16, 2007 05:00 PM            

quote:

---

And no, I don't mean that they have to bring kids on dates all the time, but sometimes when there is conflict between the needs of an S.O. and the needs of a kid, the kid comes first.

If you were the kid who was made to feel like a hindrance on the parent's life and the reason for all their troubles than you would probably be would be talking differently. And without getting into anymore personal details I will boldly say that I was that kid.

---

And you're assuming that a couple who puts equal importance for their love as well as the love for their children is somehow selfish. If you assume that then you would realise as to why most marriages breakdown in the long run since that spark of romance that brought the two individuals togather just doesn't exists anymore.

Priority maybe one thing but a relationship has to exist in an equal prioritized senerio or else the children will suffer in the long run over the mismanagement of a couple's relationship.

posted December 16, 2007 05:01 PM            

Its not the stellium.

Its Mars in Leo (sign of narcissism) squaring the stellium.

posted December 16, 2007 05:05 PM            

Equal value is not the same as equal needs.

posted December 16, 2007 05:07 PM            

quote:

---

And you're assuming that a couple who puts equal importance for their love as well as the love for their children is somehow selfish.

---

First, I never said anything about the S.O. being completely neglected as you're assuming. Let me rephrase myself: if you're dating someone with kids, do not expect to be #1 in their life. Maybe a close second if there's even a strong enough bond, but never #1.

posted December 16, 2007 05:15 PM            

Probably so but there has to be a tangible responsibility in both senerios or priorities just shift in the long run and a union just becomes a sole purpose for raising kids and THAT can be disasterous if its SOLEY focused on that segment.

Dulce:

posted December 16, 2007 06:07 PM              

quote:

---

You could have had filet mignon! Too bad you're probably going to get stuck with ground beef!"

---

You should tell him that ground beef is so versatile, though. You can have it as a hamburger, as a casserole, as a meatball, in a bolognese sauce, in stroganoff...but you can only have filet mignon one way. Tres boring. You can eat ground beef every night and not get sick of it, but you can't eat filet mignon every night.

I agree that it's the mars aspect to his stellium, but I also said such heavy water is not for everyone...and all in the 8th house with scorpio on the cusp...

I think maybe you were not that into him, either. Maybe he sensed this and acted like a jerk because of it.