posted March 26, 2008 03:24 AM            

This Hi5 thing reminds me , if you see a lot of posts of mine have this 'i miss u' to different people . to people that i have never met and will probably never meet (crabs are pretty practical too ) but its just the love that i feel for them .

initially some people here (i have been here for some yrs now) thought this was meant some other purposes but they forgot , no purposes can be solved sittng here in India , even if i wanted .

posted March 26, 2008 03:36 AM              

there does seem to be a lot of cancer/aqua action, at least in these parts. i wonder what it is..

posted March 26, 2008 03:49 AM              

So my question is this - how do we know for sure that a Cancer man is getting serious with you?

bluegreyeye - Sorry for not answering your question in the first place. Got a bit carried away by my own case ; )

posted March 26, 2008 11:54 AM            

The 'I miss you' is nothing to be serious about. Cancerians are 'I feel' people so, once they let you in in their inner circle you can expect them to express a lot of their feelings with you. Let me check my hi5 comments to confirm this ;D

Hair stroking? lol I did that with my special one all the time. You can look at it this way, Cancerians don't only want to be your lover. They want to be your brother, your dad, your mom sometimes, even your lesbian lover should you ever think of having one. They are born to nurture you see...

Anyway one good thing about them is they will understand if you gently let them know what you do and do not like. You can definitely be yourself around them.

Cooking IS sex for some Cancerians, me included.

Well, lastly, though they are extremely forgiving, Cancerians never forget. When one did make mistake and hurt their feeling, what can one do? Go back and read the above comments and you'll get some ideas how to make up with them.

posted March 26, 2008 12:52 PM            

Didn't get you here ?

:::frustration with the disconnection from the perspective of a cancerian. the thing to remember is it is TOTALLY not personal:::

Not Personal !
ok just tell me , what is personal for aquas ? isn't being friend for yrs , personal ?
you know what , once an aqua friend of mine whom i knew for yrs simply felt like moving on and moved on . i felt bad more so bcos that experience has turned me more practical , now i take even more time to rely on people .so my first reaction normally is , talk business rather than getting personal . people think i am cold ,so be it .

ok btw, i was searching for your pics in the morning , i remember you posted in FFA , they are not visible now , some problem?

Cappy : Let me tell you a fact , cancers are big flirts but they never cross the line . they will always try to be respective .

:::So my question is this - how do we know for sure that a Cancer man is getting serious with you?

posted March 26, 2008 12:52 PM              

I finally got what you and others told me in my post. The friendship outside the clinic with my cancer vet is forming VERY slowly, but I think I can see some progress coming.
It's like I have to start it all over again with him to regain his trust in me. Don't know how this's turning out but I'm willing to try!

posted March 26, 2008 01:30 PM            

Answer: Only TIME. If I had a dime for every Cancer man who got all mushy with a friend of mine, who told her that he missed her and even that he LOVED her or was in love with her, who talked about the future with her, including marriage and meeting the family, and then freaked out and "drifted", without EVER really explaining what had changed...well, I'd be having a nice fancy dinner right now.

Most Cancer men my friends have dated who really committed had a huge freak-out at the one-year mark and, if they're in love, they'll come back. And most who weren't in love "drifted" with no explanation at about the three-month mark.

WARNING: Cancer men are fantastic at living out long-distance fantasy relationships via text and email. You could have a Cancer guy telling you he was in love with you this way for YEARS and it wouldn't mean squat. And if he's one of those Cancer guys who meets women over the internet who happen to live 6 hours away, it usually means that he's madly in love with his (local) ex and doesn't have the nerve to ever tell her, so he projects onto far-flung strangers.

To tell if he's getting serious, you have to be involved IN PERSON. And nothing the Cancer does or says, emotionally, over text or IM counts.

So, signs he's serious:

-You've weathered the three-month mark (in an IN PERSON relationship where you are intimate and see each other in person at least twice a week)

-You've weathered the one-year mark, including his freak-out (again, IN PERSON)

-He wants to spend more and more time with you in person and wants you to be in his apartment all weekend all the time

-He introduces you to his family

-He invites you to work events

-He torments you with those awful little passive-aggressive "tests", but when it comes down to it, if he has a choice of spending time with you or not spending time with you, he'll choose you

-He starts talking to you about his deeper feelings and more personal emotional life (not generic sh*t like, I'm so in love with you, I miss u)--and he wants to know what you're really feeling beyond trite reassurance

-He is willing to talk about and try to work through conflicts that arise between you (most Cancer men, when not committed, will never tell you how you upset them...they'll just disappear and, if you run into them, lie and say everything is fine.)

posted March 26, 2008 01:40 PM            

I would enjoy getting to know each other and, if you still really like him in a few months, brace yourself for a minor Crab freak-out around then...and stay honest through it.

Ironically, although they aren't supposed to be so very compatible, I can imagine few people able to weather a Cancer "test" as well as an Aqua. You would be more puzzled than hurt! And that might give The Cancer time to get his/her s**t together and stop testing.

posted March 26, 2008 08:07 PM              

________________________________________
:::there does seem to be a lot of cancer/aqua action, at least in these parts. i wonder what it is..:::
Didn't get you here ?

:::frustration with the disconnection from the perspective of a cancerian. the thing to remember is it is TOTALLY not personal:::

Not Personal !
ok just tell me , what is personal for aquas ? isn't being friend for yrs , personal ?
you know what , once an aqua friend of mine whom i knew for yrs simply felt like moving on and moved on . i felt bad more so bcos that experience has turned me more practical , now i take even more time to rely on people .so my first reaction normally is , talk business rather than getting personal . people think i am cold ,so be it .

ok btw, i was searching for your pics in the morning , i remember you posted in FFA , they are not visible now , some problem?
______________________________________

hey cancerrg! what i mean about the "personal" thing is, when an aquarius needs time to think and needs space it REALLY isn't personal, meaning, it's not that we don't like you or are upset with you, usually. it's just that emotion has to be decoded and reconfigured and processed in order to be understood, for us. so we actually NEED space, generally speaking, to understand our feelings, at which point, we will get back to you. friendship is very important to us, yes. i know that i want to stay friends with all my exes and pretty much feel like i could be anyone's friend.. but that doesn't mean i feel emotionally attached. i hope that makes sense!

and about the cancer/aqua action.. i meant that there seem to be a lot of aquarian women on linda land into cancer guys. it's interesting!

posted March 27, 2008 12:13 AM            

an update:

last date the Cancer man came over to my apartment by surprise... he had been at our mutual local bar (both of us are regulars so we know the bartenders/patrons) and ran into my roommate's ex-boyfriend... her ex-boyf talked me up so much to the Cancer... he seemed jealous!

then he brought up (again) the fact that everytime he sees me at a bar i'm talking to a different guy or the "men" that know me at that bar...all of them are just acquaintances! absolutely NOTHING even slightly romantic with any of them. but i'm a friendly (read: not flirtatious) person, so i do talk to everyone, but it's innocent.

he also threw in random "you like me....?" or "that's because you like me" comments...

AND the kicker:

after he got jealous then he mentioned another girl to me... he gave a girl at the bar (ironically, i know her as well) his e-mail address... he mentioned it a few times, i think he was trying to make ME jealous!?! ha, is this possible?

oh man, he's definitely a character, which i find attractive. literally, he says the most outrageous stuff that i can't help but literally "laugh out loud" at the things he says... and i swear, he's food obsessed, and i love it cause i'm such a fat kid at heart.

he's kinda hard to get a read on... but i think that's sorta fun... anyway, wish me luck with this crazy Crab!

posted March 27, 2008 11:40 AM            

it doesn't !

:::i meant that there seem to be a lot of aquarian women on linda land into cancer guys. it's interesting!
:::

posted March 28, 2008 10:05 AM            

naaahhhhh..... , what doesn't make a sense to me , are aquas incapable of undserstanding the difference between being friendly and being friends ?
the incident that i quoted of , i was hurt bcos one moment i know -we are friends for life and just next moment my friend feels like moving on .
see , as far as i understnd if you are great friends with someone for say some six yrs. (to the extent that you share your personal life with him or her ) you are bound to have some emotional attachment , even if you dont have that , you atleast need to show courtesy , dont you ?
aquas (in this respect ) become too mechanical , incapable of understanding the feelings of others , forgetting the simple fact that we are not machines , we are humans !

so my question to all the aquas , how does it feel someone does the same with them? do they feel the hurt or they just assume , its the way the world operates ?

P.S.: do i sound very hurt ?
well i am not , i was at that moment actually but i have known the ways of aquas and how to deal with them

posted March 28, 2008 10:38 AM            

All sun signs have their dark side, but the jealousy thing really bugs me.

I had one act out horribally, illegally, a triple Cancer (in the 8th) when I exhibited independence.

I wil not give this individual much energy here except to say that I have studied them in length.

I have found that a supportive upbringing is very important for the Cancer male, especially. They are ultra-sensitive, tend toward insecurity, always need individuals in their life to reassure them, are caring, nurturing and just plain good guys...until they go wrong, usually spawned from an upbringing with no/little root structure, poor parenting, lack of parenting, not able to nurture and not being nurtured just to name a few.

Bluegrey, If I were you, I would nicely and lightly ask about this individual's past, especially his relationship with his parents.

I have a friend who remains in a horrible marriage, part of the reason is his 19 yr old Cancer boy. He has been having problems with the kid, and thinks if he leaves the kid will de-esclate further. What I am trying to tell him is Cancers are so ultra-sensitive and pick up on everything in their environment, and if he thinks his really bad marriage and remaining in it for the kid is not known to the kid, he is dead wrong. AND I will bet this young man is being harmed more by the parents staying together. It makes me cringe to see the potential of this young, intelligent Cancer man to have issues that could be easily avoided.

Cancers need supporitve upbringing, I have made it my business to find this out as I had to deal with a psycho one.

posted March 28, 2008 10:55 AM            

I swear, you're me in another dimension... lol...

Everything you are saying is pretty much what I have going with my Cancer...
(plus, you have Aries on the Asc, like me!) It seems like we are attracted to the same things... weird!

And thank you Lucia!! Almost everything on that list has happened between us, and I was getting all paranoid and worried, then reading that... sooooo true!

hippi,

I'm glad he comes from a very well rounded family. They are not up each other's a**es or anything, but they are close. He has brought me to meet mom twice now, I see his dad all the time, and we did dinner with the brother. He has said (in front of mom) he wants me to go on the family vacation this summer at his uncle's place outside Philly... HOLY CRAP! And this would be driving...

posted March 28, 2008 11:33 AM            

He actually talks about his parents alot. He seems to get along with them, they are still married... they were in town a month ago and he cooked them dinner...and then his mom stayed with him for a week at his apartment, while she was there he got sick, so she made him homemade soup, cleaned his apartment, etc. obviously the "nuturing" type. He also seems to get along with his siblings... though he seems a little jealous of his older brother?