posted March 24, 2008 04:56 PM            

I've noticed 2 things about him, which differ greatly from other men I've been with:
1) he says a lot of "i miss you" "i want to see you" "i wish you were here" "do you miss me?" type of stuff... at first i was freaked out, thinking he had some other motive...but i'm beginning to think he might just mean it? Not sure.
2) he is very um... gentle? and romantic? in physical situations... he's very much a cuddling and stroking my hair etc... it seems so unnatural, compared to most men that just wanna rip a woman's clothes off & do the deed. it's an endearing quality, i give him a lot of credit for being as sensitive as he is... but my mind always wanders back to "is he doing these things to get something more?" - which obviously isn't the case.

Overall though, I'd say I actually like him. Which is weird, because I haven't really honestly "liked" a guy in about 3 years or so... and especially a Cancer, who I heard does not mesh well with Aquas (esp. a typical aqua sun like myself).

Anyway - what are some things I should expect from him? behaviorally etc.

Also - anyone with experience with a cancer male, I'd love advice / comments about what wins them over...scares them away.

Thanks!

posted March 24, 2008 05:09 PM              

they were both as you describe.. very gentle, cuddly and emotionally needy, somewhat. which i totally loved. with the first, he had a gemini moon, so he was a bit more detached and indecisive, and the second was a virgo moon, and he was constantly psychoanalyzing me, so that is how their moonsigns modified their cancerian behaviours.

the one thing that bothered me or confused me is that it almost seems like cancers will just attach themselves and expect complete emotional reciprocation, or else their feelings get hurt and they get mad. in some ways that is comforting; to know you could totally give yourself to this person and they'd be really loyal, but on the other hand, i find it a bit suffocating to feel like i had to constantly take this other person's emotional state into consideration before my own. and as an aquarius, it takes some time and space to understand my own emotional needs.. and cancers seem to project theirs immediately and seem to want someone to fully embrace and take care of their emotions. i guess to feel safe.

posted March 25, 2008 12:21 AM            

Some Cancer men tend to come on strong in the beginning (saying romantic things, planning the future, telling you how into you they are)...and then they crabwalk away as you ACTUALLY get to know each other and start to get close. Some of them--if they are immature and have weird, obsessive issues with their mothers or with holding on to past hurts--will retreat forever, not responding to attempts to contact them...and if you run into them and confront them, they'll have a WONDERFUL excuse (I was sick/totally overwhelmed with work/etc) and they will steadfastly maintain that everything they said before about how into you they were is still true...and then they'll disappear again! Several of my Virgo friends have suffered at the claws of these crabs. They're chronic internet daters...very comfortable being romantic via text massage with women they don't actually see in real life!

The more mature ones will freak out a little at real intimacy, too. They're more comfortable being romantic when you're an ideal, and before they are too scared of losing you as an individual. But the more evolved ones will recognize this in themselves and be able to let you know.

Cancers of all kinds can be very passive-agressive. I'm not the world's most immature person, and I try to be very honest, but I still catch myself doing it! (Leo Sun, Cancer Moon-Venus-Saturn) I've been haging out with this guy and at the beginning I was totally comfortable, sunny, straight-shooting and Leonine with him...and then after I started to be really into him and see how smart, deep and perceptive he is, my jellied Cancer innards were all, uh-oh! And I started subtly pushing him away, but subtly letting him know I wasn't that interested in him, just as I got VERY interested in him. Many Cancers will be soooo warm and loving at the beginning, but get tetchy when things get very real. Because secretly they don't want to lose you. Not that anyone who likes you wants to lose you! But a Sagittarius is more a live-in-the-moment type...the Cancer is especially scared of losing anyone.

posted March 25, 2008 12:28 AM            

-Stay honest, straightforward, truthful and secure in yourself EVEN IF the Cancer pulls a passive-aggressive retreat number to test you. The worst thing you can do is respond to a Cancer guy's hurt or fear with more of same. If he tests you in some weird way, be steadfast about your feelings for him. On the same token, if he blurts that he loves you after three nights, take it in stride...in short, don't follow him in his emotional ups and downs. Keep your own emotional even keel.

-Don't push him away when he clings, but stay independent yourself. (No challenge for an Aqua!) Give him the time to trust you.

For Virgo moon:

posted March 25, 2008 11:25 AM            

He means it and he wants you to repeat the words too .

:::he is very um... gentle? and romantic? in physical situations... he's very much a cuddling and stroking my hair etc... it seems so unnatural, compared to most men that just wanna rip a woman's clothes off & do the deed. it's an endearing quality, i give him a lot of credit for being as sensitive as he is... but my mind always wanders back to "is he doing these things to get something more?" - which obviously isn't the case.
:::

ofcourse he wants to do the deed too ! afterall he is a man too ! but he is just waoting for your permission .

posted March 25, 2008 04:13 PM              

and that makes me think of how it is so different with aquarians. we tend to need a certain buffer against intimacy until we have mentally assimilated our lives with our emotions and have decided we are ready for intimacy. to me it is a similar dance but gone about completely differently. cancers have their caves, their havens, their shells, to feel secure, and aquarius has their brain-buffer. that is where it can get frustrating and confusing..

cappy lady. are you confused because he does the in and out of his cave, sideways shuffle? that confuses me too, but i think it has to do with the need for emotional safety. and if he's not getting it from outside, he will retreat inside and hide away till he's ready to reach for more..

posted March 25, 2008 04:18 PM            

Especially with Aqua on the asc... Weird! I agree that it seems like there's "something behind" their actions/words. It's like, they are protecting themselves so much, we become suspicious about what they are doing... our communication sucks, btw. It's like, really great sometimes, but other times, it feels like our Uranian tongues say the WRONG thing, and we still carry on with the joke, then we're left ouside the shell with no idea what just happened!

posted March 25, 2008 05:44 PM              

the guy i just broke it off with has frequent cuddle sessions with almost all of his female friends. there were a lot of disparities in our relationship styles and i felt it wouldn't work out and i made the mistake of mentioning that our definitions of monogomy were too different (not just the cuddling thing, but other very fliratious behaviours of his) and then he was really mad about that! it seems cancers kind of want it both ways and they are saturated in desire for all things WOMANLY..

which could bring them deeply into real, commited monogomy, or keep them trapped in fantasy and neediness, i guess..

posted March 25, 2008 05:59 PM              

With my Cancer crush, it's like we're taking time to get to know each other. So the Cancerian politeness barrier is still on. I'm not sure how I would feel once we get pass this stage. But I've got lots of encouragements from the kind people in here and have decided to carry on anyway. Thanks so much for sharing!

posted March 25, 2008 10:37 PM              

I think Cancerian men test ALOT!!!(i admit i do too)Though i think my male counterparts do it a heck of a lot more..

They do and say things just to see your reaction... i guess some examples would be like a time i had planned a night out for his bday and he rang pretending he had broken down and probably wouldnt be able to make it...when really he was stood at my door on the phone.. another time he told me that an ex had wanted him back and he told her he would think things thru and call her back(i was like dumbfounded)just to see my reaction...many many times he would act like he might not have time etc. to see me..again he was just testing my reaction..after a while i just learnt to pretend like it was cool just because i knew he wanted a reaction... i feel though his extent of testing was a little too much.. where did it stop?

I think the thing that would scare away a Cancer guy would be you dissing his family in anyway shape or form...even if he does..

Also if you flirt with other guys could make him run...

Cancer guys just like the female Cancerians love little sentimental things.. like sweet notes/texts/emails...poems writtten for them...something baked just for them...bringing them something you know is their favourite chocolate/icecream/cologne etc..

But please dont try to catch a Cancerian guy unless your really sure you want him...because they have a hard time letting go...even if for their own good... no matter how good your intentions, a break up impacts them deeply...they could still be clinging on years later...

I've personally come across Cancerian guys who are "once bitten, twice shy" (or should that read once bitten, i will never trust again)

I think almost every Cancerian desires to find someone who "gets" them...if you make your Cancerian guy feel this..your 1/2 way there..

They will melt you with their uncanny ability to make you laugh when you feel like crying...to touch you in just the right place when your hurting...cook you a beautiful meal and to remind you sensitivity in a male is not a bad thing...

posted March 25, 2008 11:01 PM            

first of all ---

he loves to cook (just gave me a bottle of his homemade hot sauce?)... and when my roommate mentioned i made st. pat's day cupcakes for work, he said "where's mine? how come i didn't get any?" and he always mentions cooking dinner...constantly ordering food. i secretly love his food obsession, cause i'm equally (closeted) obsessed. we are always talking about the best italian/pizza/thai places in the city.

he does kinda-sorta-maybe have a jealous streak... since we both frequent the same bar, and i'm there on a regular basis, a lot of people (read: men) know me... from conversation, nothing more... but he gets kinda pissy when they say hello to me. or when my roommate mentioned that some creepy guy was staring at me, he was like "yeah there's always a line of guys waiting to meet her..." but he seemed sorta miffed. (btw - i DO NOT flirt. seriously. i'm just friendly.. i could talk to ANYONE, i don't send signals or bat eyelashes or anything!)

and he seems like a sorta homebody. which, being an aqua, kinda freaks me out... but also is sort of comforting, because i think i NEED someone to sorta "tie" me down and reign me in from my super-socializing.

i dunno... the more i think about it, the more i like him... but i'm also like "keep him at a distance, because you never know when he's gonna jet back into his shell" - and i'm super guarded, so it's kinda like two really guarded people that might actually like eachother... oy....

anyway, i don't know many cancers, so this should be interesting.....

posted March 26, 2008 12:50 AM              

i would say, if it feels good, go for it!

i think a cancer needs and wants consistency.. so *if he is worth it* and it feels right, going for it all the way and waiting out his little storms would work out well and in the long run, would win his heart and he would come out of his shell.