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Author Topic:   Unrequited Love Aspects
amowls
Newflake

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From: Falls Church, VA, USA
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posted May 27, 2008 12:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What are some aspects in a synastry chart & composite chart that might point to unrequited love between you and another person?

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PeaceAngel
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posted May 27, 2008 04:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i can't imagine that there would be such an aspect in the composite simply because it is your dynamic and is mutual.

but with synastry - wouldn't it be lack of aspects?

actually, i'll be watching this thread - at first i thought it was a strange one but when you think about it is an interesting question.

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winky_winky
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posted May 27, 2008 05:11 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

strong uranus accents can make things interesting but confusing, as if u dont know where it all ends and starts, also u bring a lot of people into the rship and it is highly charged so it is rollercoaster and draining....unrequitted because u dont know whether it is for real or whether it is a friendship thing.......very odd

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EighthMoon
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posted May 27, 2008 05:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EighthMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
According to Astro.com, composite Venus square Saturn

8th

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alanabelle86
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posted May 27, 2008 05:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for alanabelle86     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Possibly hard aspects between Venus and Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Combined with other aspects as well though, I believe it would have to be more than one thing

------------------
Sagittarius AC, Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Leo

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izodesmozina
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posted May 27, 2008 06:44 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here's an older thread about this subject: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010294.html

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Lana29865
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posted May 27, 2008 06:49 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it is trickier than just planets/signs/aspects...

I mean you can have the most wonderful aspects with someone, but if there are cultural, social differences, there can be an inbalance of attraction... Things that you don't see in a chart, such a background, education, looks etc. As always, so complicated...

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bvanzy
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posted May 27, 2008 07:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If one person's planets make lots of aspects with the Ascendant and Sun of another, but the other person's planets do not reciprocate, perhaps?

Or if one person is another's type (Venus/Moon/DSC and ruler in a man, Mars/Sun/DSC and ruler in a woman) but not the other way around.

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darkdreamer
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posted May 27, 2008 07:55 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I`d agree with th e last post.

Usually you can see whom you are attracted to in the natals.
And it doesn`t have to be reciprocrated.

for ex. a good friend of mine (married to my best friend now) and I have:
Venus conjunct Mars
double Venus-ASC-conjunction

but we never have been in love.

I think it has to do with the fact that he has Cancer-DSC, and I`m just not that. My Moon is in Aquarius in 2n house, unaspected.

I have the ruler of 7th house in 1st house, so I am seeking some Martian energy (1st house). And he doesn`t have that. At least not as much as would be necessary.


To see IF t here is attraction, one person has to express the same energies, one is drawn to, or the polar opposite.

Ex.:
Venus in 7 would be drawn to Venus in 1st and to Mars in 1st.

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lalalinda
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From: nevada
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posted May 27, 2008 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus square Pluto in the Natal can show "unrequited love"

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clockworkrose
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posted May 27, 2008 10:02 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
honestly I'd look more to the natal chart. I would look for Venus-Neptune aspects... especially the conjunction, opposition and square. This person may have a tendency to fall in love with others who don't love them back, and also to fall for those who are 'unavailable'. Unrequited love is a tendency thats going to show up in the individual makeup..... Venus-Neptune, also Venus in Pisces, or strong Pisces as well.

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darkdreamer
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posted May 27, 2008 10:45 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WEll, I agree that someone with hard Venus-Neptune or Venus-Saturn or Venus-Uranus aspects could tend to fall in love with people who are unavailable for some reason.

But even those people have the chance of having a relationship.

So, it`s one thing to analyse a chart and see that there is a tendency to fall in love with unavailable person.

But for unrequited feelings you still need two people in my opinion.
And to see those unrequited love, you need to compare first the two natals, as I have mentioned above to see, if they fit each other`s "type".
This natal comparision would explain the potential for attraction, repulsion, indifference or unrequited feeling.

Then I would proceed to the synastry, and see what aspects the personal planets, angles, rulers of 1,4,5,7 and 8 make.

A strong connection between the rulers of 7 and 1 is a very passionate connection.
But let`s say, one person`s 7th house ruler aspects many personal planets in another chart, while the other person`s 7th house ruler AND Venus are unaspected, then this could actually be a hint towards unrequited attraction.

Oh btw for flirts, romance and sexual attraction I also would look at 5th house, and for the deep sexual passions I`d risk a glance at 8th house.

DD

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jwhop
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From: Madeira Beach, FL USA
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posted May 27, 2008 11:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jwhop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Linda Goodman, Relationship Signs

pg. 76

Venus Opposed or Square Pluto

"There could be problems kept secret until some event forces them to surface. Unrequited love is a possibility...."

lalalinda

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Mercury2008
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posted May 27, 2008 12:06 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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jwhop
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posted May 27, 2008 01:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jwhop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Actually Mercury, I wouldn't jump the gun and declare this relationship kaput just yet.

You said you're the same age. Does that mean you have the same birthday? If you do, it also most probably means you have a double Venus Opposed Pluto. In these relationships it's Pluto who has the power but a double aspect would affect that. It's a sign of a past life or lives spent together which went off the tracks because Venus did something very wrong to Pluto. Payback time and karma will be balanced, like it or not.

Of the opposing signs, I would say Cancer/Capricorn and Virgo/Pisces are the toughest nuts to crack. These 2 water signs have very tender feelings and the no nonsense coming off Virgo and Capricorn are almost sure to hurt feelings. For all you know, it's the guy who's feeling rejected, or picked on.

Nevertheless, this is a karmic bond that's hard to break...if it's even possible to totally break it. I believe you're experiencing this now...and quite possibly he is too.

The other aspect you mentioned, Sun Square Saturn is considered the most important aspect in astrology. It's not an aspect of rejection but rather an aspect of the bond between you...if a serious relationship develops. This too is a karmic bond between you which is most difficult or impossible to break...even if you both wish you could and you probably would at some point or at many points wish you could. Saturn has the power and the Sun isn't going to like it. Saturn may well be older or have more life experience. Saturn may/probably will attempt to do a remodeling job on the Sun to make them into Saturn's perfect image of what Saturn thinks they should be.

When this aspect is present and a serious relationship develops and there are other karmic aspects present...like Venus/Pluto aspects, it's a sign of numerous past lives spent together. The strong bonds are present so karma can finally be balanced between the parties.

This is my take based on what you've said and the aspects you mentioned. Only you know how much is valid.


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Teresa
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posted May 27, 2008 06:39 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that, in synastry, an unaspected Venus can be a warning signal. I, for instance, have a very nice synastry with a friend of mine, who once confessed to me that he had always had a crush on me while I had always seen him just as a friend. But my Venus only forms a square with his Neptune and conjuncts his Mercury... no other aspects. His Venus, on the contrary, squares my Moon, opposes my Mars and widely conjuncts my Pluto, vertex and descendant. Both Moons are nicely aspected and his ascendant, Venus and Mars fall into my seventh house. But I have never felt anything for him besides friendship... I love talking to him and I trust him completely, but nothing more.
In composite, we have a number of trines and sextiles, but composite Sun squares composite Saturn and Moon.

Just thought I'd add my two cents.

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Diandra23
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posted May 27, 2008 07:26 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i dont necessarily agree that if a person has in natal hard aspects between venus/uranus or venus/neptune wont have his/her love returned...

About venus/neptune i see this one as being a person who idealizes love very much and the loved one,like putting too much on the other like if it was perfect.I would say that perhaps also shows an existing subcounscious mechanisms that ther person puts up on in his/her close partnerships.
But dont necessarily meaning unrequited love.
My bf has this and i see the above written in his face many times.

About the venus/uranus:
i have this one myself-i view it as being a free spirit - i dont like to be repressed or tied down if i feel its doing me wrong.I deffend very much personal freedom of speach and space,but at the same time,i do want to be attached the more i can to the ones i love.
I love originality and i serach that in others-its only that.
DOnt have to do with unrequited love also,in my personal opinion.

in sinastries these same aspects might show some difficulties,regarding tensions in distance vs freedom or idealization vs. realism.

i agree with 8Moon:venus skuare saturn in composite shows unfullfie~ld love.

And DD made a very valid point: we must seek the sinastry and see how they fit into each other,how their energies "run"

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winky_winky
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posted May 27, 2008 08:04 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

i wonder who feels more the unrequited-ness in the synastry i have with this crush i had once

because our love just didnt get off the ground-too many problems

yet both had a hard time letting go

who was more hurt?
Him, having almost ALL his planets aspecting my venus
Me, receiving all the energy of his planets, including moon and sun?

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lalalinda
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From: nevada
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posted May 27, 2008 10:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jwhop

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clockworkrose
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posted May 28, 2008 02:19 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I never said that Venus-Neptune means that this person will only experience unrequited love, and aren't capable of real relationships. they are. I said "this person may have a tendency"...they are more prone to unrequited love than certain others. Just like not every person who has Mars square Pluto is going to be sexually aggressive, or even violent or abusive. Some may be, some may not be. No aspect is definite.

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clockworkrose
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posted May 28, 2008 02:23 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
btw, I have Venus square Neptune natally, and I have definately experienced my share of unrequited love.

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darkdreamer
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posted May 28, 2008 02:45 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Regarding the unaspected Venus in synastry:

I have also thought for a long time that this might indicate unrequited feelings, but I have seen too many charts with an unaspected Venus of people who are very much in love with each other.

I remember Glaucus mentioned once that his Venus doesn`t have aspects to his girlfriend`s planet, and he stated that he is very much attracted to her.

In the case of my parents: They have been married for more than 30 years and especially my father is still very much in love with my mother, but his Venus only has a square to her Mercury.
BUT the ruler of his 5th house is exactly conjunct her Venus!


also there is the case of my two good friends, who have been married for 4 years and been together for 8 years; especially him is very much in love with her.
But his Venus only opposes her Jupiter.


But his DSC conjuncts her ASC; the ruler of his 7th house opposes the ruler of her 7th and 8th house and sextiles her ASC-ruler;
the ruler of his intercepted 7th house conjuncts her DSC.


In the case of my friend and her ex-boyfriend, it was very much a case of unrequited love, even though they have been together for 7 years. But her ex-boyfriend has never been in love with her, even though he felt close to her.

His Venus and Mars were unaspected, and the rulers of 1st, 5th, 7th and 8th house were also unaspected.
His Moon had a lot of aspects to her chart, though. And since his Moon ruled his MC; she supported him a lot concerning his career and direction in life. Actually, since they have broken up, he seems to lack a clear direction in life.


So, I would always see Venus together with the ruler of the 7th house at least (add to that some playful 5th house energy,w hich is good for romance).


DD

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Teresa
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posted May 28, 2008 04:09 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is interesting, Darkdreamer... maybe I jumped to conclusions too quickly, but I have seen three cases of a one sided love that implied an unaspected Venus...
I went to check my synastry with this friend of mine again and checked the house rulers as you suggested. His 4th is ruled by Uranus, and his Uranus trines my 4th house ruler, the Moon. His Neptune, his 5th house ruler, sextiles my 5th house ruler (the Moon again).
His 7th is ruled by Mars, my 7th is ruled by Venus: no aspects between my Venus and his Mars.
My 1st is ruled by Mars, his 1st by Venus: my Mars opposes his Venus.
So, except for the 7th house rulers, we DO have aspects... yet again, I don't feel any "deep" connection with him... a bit odd indeed...

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darkdreamer
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posted May 28, 2008 04:18 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Teresa,

well, the 4th house ruler aspects are good for comfort and closeness, but not really for that spark and sexual or romantic attraction.

"His Neptune, his 5th house ruler, sextiles my 5th house ruler (the Moon again)."
A sextile is nice, but not very strong. It`s more a friendly vibration, but certainly not the "I`m so in love"-scenario.
For that I`d look to conjunctions and oppositions. Squares can create some buzz, too, even though maybe they are too unbalanced. Trines are harmonious, too, and they are much more about harmony and feeling at ease with someone than a deep, soulscorching passion.


"is 7th is ruled by Mars/Pluto, my 7th is ruled by Venus: no aspects between rulers."
That is important. In my opinion the ruler of 7th house is like your very individual Venus. So no Venus-aspects over rulerships?
Quod erat demonstrandum.

"My 1st is ruled by Mars, his 1st by Venus. We have a Mars/Venus opposition."
1st house is a Mars-nhouses, so this is like having a Mars-Mars-opposition; well, I`m not too fond of those actually.


The real attractive aspects are those from ruler 7 and 8 to the ruler of 1st house of the other chart.
The third quadrant (house 7 and 8 especially) show what you seek and what you feel attracted to, and the 1st quadrant (especially house 1 and ASC) show what you express, what you are.

Just see it like this:
The natural ruler of house 7 is Venus; the natural ruler of house 1 is Mars. Add those together and you get a lot of chemistry.

But apart from that always check the natals first and see if someone is your "type" astrologically.

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Teresa
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posted May 28, 2008 04:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What you say makes much sense, yes! The lack of links between the 7th house rulers indeed rang a bell for me...

Re the attractive aspects: my Mars, ruler of my 1st, makes no aspects to his Mars, ruler of his 7th, but opposes his Venus, ruler of his 8th.
His Venus, ruler of his 1st, makes no aspects to my Venus, ruler of my 7th, only opposes Mars, co-ruler of my 8th.

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