posted September 08, 2004 03:39 PM         

I have been dreaming about death and rebirth quite a bit, i think lovers egos must die in order to become one. Each person has to be sure of that. So if someone isn't looking for a sure thing, how do you know their ego won't become destructive? Love at first pumps up the ego but if not checked, it can run amok, Especially with Sag influences.

I know I have to be brought DOWN to earth, and not just with romance. Being with the one I love is fine, until I start to feel burned out on all the stuff!

The Taurus moon guy is fascinated with stuff, his house is crammed with it. It made me feel when I was there, like a stuffed animal, or something he needed for a little while. What happens when he gets sick of me? Will he stop returning my calls? Will he call me from another woman's house some night? I get the creeps thinking about his stuff, and I see myself dying a little each day as "owned" at the same time..

I know my real fear is of being hurt, not being owned, so making that step into trusting territory is the only way to ensure I am with someone who has motivations that are clear, and that come from a good place. I can barely sort out my own feelings half the time so I look for some kind of knowledge, higher or wiser from my lover.

Sag influences, and Scorpio ones, make me question and Taurus influences make me want to be held. All in all, I end up pouring love into something that feels dead to me.

I must kill off my ego, but I need my lover to kill of his too, otherwise I am swamped in his ego, his need to control, view me, love me, and take over as the man. It's really hard with a Taurus moon, I almost prefer Scorpio moon men, BUT

They are usually gay, or obsessed with someone else, and so we are friends.

Same with Water Mars, usually I love those guys but they are always out there, and then they say I'm to emotional to be trusted?

I don't mind someone who doesn't want to walk down an altar, but how you can say someone trusts you if they think you are too emotional to lean on, and he leans on someone else? Isn't that competition? Isn't that saying you are not good enough, or worthy enough to be loved/trusted the same way? I just think love ought to be a two sided thing, not just a one sided love affair.

If a man doesn't trust me how can I love him?

And I kiss, kiss, and kiss, and so I want to be kissed back first.

That's a fair exchange!

Okay Elvis song now:
After all...if you want to be hugged, well then you got to hug me too, and if you really love me why wouldn't you want to shout it out to the whole world, like the way I am feeling?

How should I act, or feel, if you act cool?

If you know you can't take it, then why try to get it?
If you can't stand the heat, why go in the kitchen?

I'm not standing around in a one sided love affair!

Or words to that effect.

Libra and Taurus moons are always so cooool, great friends, but lovers??

What do you think?

posted September 08, 2004 10:30 PM         

Love can turn to hate, be sure to go slow to avoid burnout in the physical department. Gentle touches go far with this woman.

She is a very attractive person with a lot going for her, that means she will attract lots of other men and she enjoys the limelight. This will make you jealous, be sure not to show it all of a sudden, instead encourage her to investigate hobbies that boost her self esteem. Even if she comes home with pink hair, she is still with YOU, so don't criticize. Her Aqua ascendant needs total support for her lifestyle. She wants to know what you are thinking, get involved in the community.

Let her flirt, but be cool when she does. There may be a clash of wills at start. Remember a relationship is a We, not an I, or You.

Good Luck, and let things happen naturally,

posted September 09, 2004 04:29 PM         

"Easily irritated -

posted September 09, 2004 10:10 PM         

Yes! This is good news!

Finally, I had something more uplifting to say...

posted September 10, 2004 06:09 PM         

Yeah, I wasn't even thinking of her as being "better of worse" than me, but I understand what you mean completely. To me, my first priority is him, his well-being. And I just knew she was not in love with him, but I kept it sooooo low-down quiet and to myself. She even tried to create a little drama between her and I a couple of times and I did not fall for it. That's all the petty stuff, and as they say, don't sweat the small stuff. My concern was for him to wise up in time to still earn my "respect" and he did with FLYING COLORS.

OK - we're on the same page again. I've been missing him so much, I can't figure out if I want to first communicate with him, or do something else...

(It's not based on lust)

Just remembered, I did whet his appetite a little bit about things I've been wanting to talk to him about. Things he just expected me to leave messages on his voice mail about, and I didn't. So he heard all the things I wanted to talk about to him for the last, many weeks, and so right now he's dealing with a bit of a mind F from me. Don't know if you can appreciate that.

But I will see him soon. Probably tonight as I just called him as he asked me to call him today, and he immediately said he wants to "hang out with me" tonight.

You know, like when your prayers have been answered?

I'm so glad you are uplifted that I am uplifted, anyone else? Ah... boring love life, blah blah... hee hee...