posted January 13, 2006 01:20 PM         

Anyway. My question is how do you get a Pisces to talk and be open? I have a 'friend'...for the past 20 years...it's a long story...

but anyway. we are seeing each other tomorrow night for drinks and fun with some other friends. I am findng it so hard to get anything out of him. I know there's all these feelings underneath. I SO want to hear them, hear what he thinks of me, us...all that. I tell him this stuff, and he just absorbs it...Makes me wonder if I should take a hint? or if I should just be paying more attention to the nonverbal communication? I read books, stuff that says he, being a fish man should be all gloriously romantic. I know he has these feelings, but what is it holding him back from expressing it? I dont want to be all confrontational, bc I don't want to push him away. Sometimes I think he's afraid of all the fire within me.

He's going to be gone for a long time. This is going to be the last time I see him until whenever. See, he's a first mate on a Charter fishing boat...sort of funny...I mean, Gah!!! Talk about fulfilling you sun-sign's stereotypes!

So, what's the magic answer? Do you just stare at them? Do you listen more closely, because things they say have underlying meanings? Is it bc fish are so psychic, that they think everyone can read thier minds, just because they can read everyone else???

posted January 13, 2006 02:28 PM         

And maybe since you have been friends for such a long time, that may play into why he's not "divulging" much. Maybe the friendship is too important.

I don't think there are really any magic answers...but yes, pay attention to the cues that he gives you. Over 80% of communication is completely nonverbal and I would almost bet on it that he is reading you quite easily...I too can become quite intimidated by people who are aggressive (not a bad thing), fiery, or certain about their direction; basically people who know what they want, send me for a loop.. Talk to him, be as honest as you can, but don't pry or push. The fastest way to send him for the hills is to make him feel threatened or cornered in any way. I think once the lines have been established, as in friendship versus something more, he will open up to you..

Do you feel like he is attracted to you? Has he given you certain clues that cry out..."I WANT YOU!!"? (lol) Fish are very delicate creatures..and have a hard time making up their own minds. Sometimes you have to do it for them, but not in an overt manner.

Have you looked at his chart? If so, what clues does his chart give you as to how he responds to affection, women in general, and emotion. I wish you luck!!! Pisces are great to have around, but I'm not biased or anything. Let me know how it goes, I'd love to hear that it worked out for the best.

Spellbound

posted January 13, 2006 03:34 PM         

First off, I am SURE he is thinking about where the bounds are in this "thing". I think you're right on about that. A little history...we met in High School, about 20 years ago...lots of attraction, but he didn't ever stake a "claim". When I was that age...what with all this Leo sensuality, all this FIRE...I had LOTS of beaux...he just didnt pay enough attention to me, or make a big enough fuss, which made me terribly insecure, so I just chose to say "maybe some other day". Then, 10 years go by and nothing. (I came to find out later, we were usually in the same town at the same time, or within months of each other...And then a phone call, and we go out on a real date. One time.This time, going out has a decidedly different "air" to it. I had just met my future husband, Mr. Stability...Mr. Sex, Mr. Older Man..

Anyway. Fish Man. He calls out of the blue and we meet and he just lays it on. big. he says that he is running off to the Keys to get his Captains Liscense...and that he really wanted me to go with him. This seemed totally insane to me, considering we'd only ever shared one kiss, one date, and lots of 'head trip' kind of stuff. I took him for mad, and stupidly told him "no". Eventually I married my Virgo Maximum Stability Man, had two kids with him, was living a quiet life till one day...9 years later....He began burning a hole in my brain. In my dreams...he just got in there for no good reason. a little while went by, and he didnt go out of my head. so i called him. he was totally elated. totally. We've seen each other on the sly, talk on the phone. He's a couple of hours away (which is amazingly close, considering his occupation), so it's not often. And there isnt sex. lots of sexual tension, but not sex. He hasnt settled down. Instead, just has women that he sees/visits, he has one that broke his heart and got away, that he doesn't see...he's had more than his share of married women.. I don't want to pin him down and leave my husband or any of that right now. Fish man has this incredibly interesting life. I just want to know that I have a place in his heart. That he thinks about me. That he thinks "maybe someday".

Ha! Just like me to ramble on and on and on about this. I do wish that I KNEW how he feels. Part of me says that I do know, and part of me says that unless it's spoken, it doesnt exist. I think he's afraid of that same thing. He doesnt want it to exist bc it's unaatainable. He's sure how I feel (like you said, he's reading me), even without me making statements too often. I can tell when he looks at me, that I might as well be naked with every emotion I feel scrawled across my chest. Knowing someone can read me is both exciting and scary. Mostly, because when I am with him, I feel LOCO.

posted January 13, 2006 05:13 PM         

i know the other draw for him is the fun factor. we have LOTS of fun and laughter together. lots.

posted January 14, 2006 10:49 AM         

WHY BOTHER?!!!!!!!! I certainly wouldn't want for him to be sitting around thinking or asking folks "how to you get a Leo to NOT open up?" It's that secretive thing that keeps me in wonderment, anyway. Just like him for who he is, be his friend, and if I want/need a flirty friend, I should seek out someone who is more like an Aries.

I so admire the Sag ability to "tell it like it is". Most of the time, it's right, even if it hurts. My sister is Sag and she rarely sticks her foot in her mouth, bc she is right. Logical. And your approach to this is logical as well.

In fact, when I look back over it, I HAVE said "why bother?" a few times...I might could open him up, but you're right, nebulous,nothing you can hold onto.

posted January 14, 2006 02:14 PM         

quote:

---

Thanks for the jolt. I needed that.

---

That's ok. Don't be so pathetic next ime. It doesn't suit you.

posted January 15, 2006 04:51 PM         

Their strength is their Achilles heel. For example, they are passive about everything, actually ask few questions though they listen kindly and supremely intently. They "feel" for you and your plight but they're also reluctant to truly let anyone in. The two Pisces I know suddenly out of the blue began talking to me, really talking to me, disclosing little bits of information about themselves--here or there.

What I am not a big fan of in terms of Pisces is that they are extraoridnarily good at feeling sorry for themselves. This I confess turns me off. Yes they feel deeply for others but as much for themselves. They do a great deal of mulling in their heads about THEMSELVES. They are secretive, they are a bit paranoid and they are somewhat convinced even when they are young that absolutely no one understands them, that they are uniquely misunderstood and hurt by those they love the most. What's odd is I would venture to say most human beings secretly feel that way, and that is something I sometimes thinks escapes them (someone feels as deeply as me? as hurt as me, really? How is that possible?)

If you do get A Pisces to open up be prepared to be swallowed whole. It is a moving and in many ways, a tender, no bars hold experience but one not without serious maddening challenges.

I find when you give up on trying to wow them and dazzle them, they are more likely to oepn up. Also they absolutely love and excel at giving concrete advice. They also LOVE to discuss their hobbies, their talents as they are knowledgeable and feel ept in these matters but they do not have a hardcore personal emotional patina to them, for as emotional as they are supposed to be I do not think that they feel that comfortable revealing their own deepest emotions.

posted January 15, 2006 05:13 PM         

anyway. yeah. that is pathetic...sheeseh.

posted January 15, 2006 05:39 PM         

I don't know why I feel so low. Maybe bc I'm thirty five, I'm doing the stay at home mom gig, my husband (much older) virgo is very rock solid, but just not mushy at all. Maybe quitting my very high-profile, sometimes political job was wrong to do. I am totally certain this is my midlife crisis time.

I think what would make me not feel so low is if every now and again, people would give me some credit, or some sort of compliments. or just comment on stuff that makes me unique or interesting. I feel kind of isolated, because the people around me aren't very into 'feedback'. Which of course, is what every leo woman needs. I don't care if you say you hate my hair this shade of red, atleast you NOTICED me.

posted January 16, 2006 12:37 PM         

but yeah, it's a screwed up head trip and it's all my fault. I am trying to grow/evolve out of this. I'm just looking for the lesson. I know I have to drop the torch. and i need to do it now.