posted May 28, 2006 04:07 AM         

Was just wondering...

If anyone here has ever loved someone so much that they feared they could never find another person that would ever come close?

I feel so hopeless..I wonder if I will ever love another man as much as I love this person...and he and I aren't even together anymore. I know I need to read the tea leaves and move on. He is much too old for me anyhow. I just can't. I feel like whoever comes along in life will be a crappy substitute. Like he'll always haunt me.

I am way too young to feel this way.

I have to believe there is still someone out there for me.

posted May 28, 2006 04:46 AM         

i feel like no one will ever come close,

everyone pales to compare to this extraordinary man....

what else can we do?
we have to move on,
the hope and belief theres someone out there who will love me with as much passion as i love him is the only thing that seems to make me feel alive,

ive learned from every mistake,
just take it as a valuable lesson,

it'll get easier,
and if youre meant to be together, i honestly believe it will happen eventually...be it in 10 years or a 5....
sometimes we arent meant to be together in this life, theres a reason for everything...maybe the next life, if youre lucky..

hope you feel better hun...
<3

------------------
give me more Love, or more disdain;
the torrid, or the frozen zone
bring equal ease unto my paine:
the temperate affords me none;
either extreme, of love or hate,
is sweeter than a calme estate
- thomas carew " mediocrity in love rejected"

posted May 28, 2006 07:19 AM         

I have felt this too....I am now 47 and realise after three husbands that there are LOTS of people out there we could feel strong and connected with...

When I was 13 I fell in love with my first love who later became my husband....I was completely obsessed with him and now....hahaha.....

Errrrr......well just to say......the feeling has worn off somewhat.

So onwards and upwards ladies.....

posted May 28, 2006 02:06 PM         

One thing that has helped me, is that I am always evolving and changing - I cannot see myself now with the man I was once married to in my 20's - I am just not even close to being the same person, and am happy about who I am now.

Know you are capable of deep love, that's the important thing, never stop loving, and love will surely find you...don't give up.

posted May 28, 2006 07:06 PM         

The love I fell for him is overwhelming sometimes, actually, most of times. He is quite older then me and I know he won't be around to grow older with me. He is already old.

I believe when the time comes and hes gone, I'll probly compromise *sight* I really hate to face this I guess I can feel your pain Goberzlostlovefound. This post touched my most inner fear.

posted May 29, 2006 01:27 AM         

sue~ you give me hope. it's wonderful you found a good person to share your life with.

freebird~ does time really heal all wounds? what do you really think? in the past I've felt that it's true to an extent, but I admit that I can have certain conversations, situations, relationships, gnaw at me for years. (guess that doesn't sound too healthy...) it's just so hard for to let go. I look back into the past a lot, maybe more than I should.

fishkitten~ fabulous, eh? thanks

bluetopaz~ thank you, I'll try not to. I think I'm too psychotic to ever *completely* give up on love, lol. lately I feel like I should, though. feel like a lost cause in the love department...

Aquarius Lover~ I like your username. I'm a big fan of february boys, myself. do you mind if I ask about how much older your Aqua is? I'm just curious because I also have a track record for going for older guys. And I often wonder what is realistic in terms of it working out long-term, and what is just me being completely delusional, lol.

Thank you ALL for responding, it really does mean a lot to me.

posted May 29, 2006 08:09 AM         

I'm 24 YO and he is 64. I was 14 when we met each other. He was the first man just about everything in my life. In this thread you might get an idea of how our relationship is:

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/002132.html

If you read my posts in that thread, you'll how it works for us. We tryied to live together when we first married, but didn't work. I believe the huge gap between our ages made it very hard particularlly for him although he is avery tolerant and understanding Aqua. Ok, I'm not easy

So we had to find a way for our relationship works choosing to live apart. Besides, I'm a very jealous Taurus and prone to emotional outburts quite often, what could ruin baddly a relationship with an Aqua.

Overall, we come along fine since we begun to meet each other as lovers which look forward to be together. I wouldn't say this kind of relationship that have been working for us is what I dreamed about. But I'm so mad about this guy that compromise, something a Taurus deeply hates, hapenned without me be aware back then.

posted May 29, 2006 05:07 PM         

I'm so glad I have some time of my own to spare in this forum righ now and you interested in my story

We first met when I was 10 and half YO in my familys home. He was my familys acquaitance for ages, but not mine. I guess I felt in love first time I set my eyes on him. Needless to say that being a kid I was invisible to him. But I remember I begun to dream about him back then. Due the ages gap I was aware that was only a pre-teen crush. Silly girlish daydreams.

Later, things changed. When I was 14 spite me being very shy, we begun a relationship that wasn't quite "romantic". His ongoing curiosity about peoples behaviour and some similar interests we have wond up in a friendship that evolved to a love relationship over time to his surprise! LOL

I lost my parents in a car crash when I was 6 YO. My sister thats 22 YO elder than me brought me up along my grandmother. I'm that kind of child who borns when the Mum thinks"the factory is closed".I have four elder brothers all older than my sister and lots of nieces and nephews, most older than me.

My Aqua was my Grammys acquaitance. She deals with performing arts and thats how they get to know each other. She teaches.Used to actually. She is retired now.

I decided to tell about our relationship in a family getogether when I was 18 YO.Do I need to say how my close family reacted? Odd thing was that only my Grammy supported me that time. She was great We married the same year My family got over it though, apparently, but they are now fricking out because I want to have children. I know, I know...

What I felt when I met him and how do I feel now is not different.We went through a lot to be a couple and we had to face the truth later on that we can't live together.After all the trouble it was very frustrant to we both accept this.Anyway, it has been thrilling along all these years just like in the very beginning!

posted May 30, 2006 04:17 AM         

That is an incredible story. Really. Wow.

posted May 30, 2006 10:43 AM         

I'm glad I could keep up with your healthy curiosity. Please, feel comfortable to ask anything you want about my weird love relationship.

posted May 31, 2006 04:26 AM         

But I have never fallen in love with someone so totally and completely since. I think that part of this ability to fall SO hard is due to youth - it's true that we harden somewhat with time. Our hearts are not as soft and trusting as they were, and I think that we are more cautious as we go through life as we get older...

I REALLY would like to believe Sue and think that I can love someone just as deeply again, but I don't think I can... I really just don't. Not to say that I can't love someone deeply and fully at all, it's just not going to be with the same kind of reckless abandon as before... but that's probably a blessing. For me, in hindsight, a lot of those intense feelings I felt before had to do with me getting so wrapped up in him that I couldn't differentiate HIM from ME... we were literally the same person in my mind... and when that ends, you feel part of you is gone, you feel empty and confused about who/what you are now that the other person is gone... but I think as we get older, we are better at understanding ourselves as individuals in a relationship, and not two people meshing into the same being...

Anyway, I do believe love will come again for both of us, it just may not feel exactly the same... but I think ultimately, it will be a more beautiful and mature kind of love that will be a new and blissful experience in it's own right.

posted May 31, 2006 10:56 AM         

What a beautiful post, thank you. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I think you're very much right that a lot of it is due to youth.

I don't know if it's possible (or even desirable) that we should be able to fall in love with a certain intensity over and over again. I'm sure your heart as been through a lot, and I hope that in time you will find the right person and the right love.

When it comes down to it, I'm just downright foolish -- I think my heart and emotions are like a rubberband, and that I can keep endlessly stretching them. But sooner or later, I think that rubberband has to break.

posted May 31, 2006 01:10 PM         

But, you must remember that whatever love you feel for someone comes from YOUR heart NOT theirs. That means the more beautiful the feelings the more beautiful your own heart.

posted May 31, 2006 09:31 PM         

Wow...I never thought about it that way.

posted June 01, 2006 03:16 PM         

quote:

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But, you must remember that whatever love you feel for someone comes from YOUR heart NOT theirs.

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posted June 01, 2006 05:22 PM         

Thanks Swerve.