posted June 06, 2006 11:36 PM         

Hold only one body now, and still cherish and Love the "other ones" cut from our hearts mold in the sub and under concous of our self.

Or express , explore, and let it be known that we share our Love with all the same souls in body as well as hearts soul,,,

all at the same time.

Is choice A or B realy that different then the other ?

And,,,,,,,,

posted June 07, 2006 03:22 AM         

I am wondering what was the point of that comment Mirandee....what were you trying to say or do.......

It was rude, cynical, unkind and not in keeping with your christian beliefs.

If you were trying to be funny, I didnt find it amusing....just cruel tbh.

What if that guy was depressed or struggling with himself and then read this......it could send him over the edge.

And for a woman who claims she is "in love" I dont see much evidence of this at all.....

Havent you learned anything about sensitivity Mirandee?

posted June 07, 2006 07:40 AM         

... well, that was nice ehr... sorry Anyway, this is only my own truth... and likely, I'll be all alone to understand it too!! Lol Wish I could get past this .. whatever it is, that keeps everything so clear but, only to me..?
... so, no point here,... just being me and, expressing

posted June 07, 2006 10:12 AM         

That is how I feel about my husband too!

And no, I do not hold any love for my ex husbands. those relationships were indeed based too much on the physical. They were doomed from the start. No real soul connections of true love there. I have dear friends I do love very much. But I have no desire to share their beds. But the love is still real. It is a soul thing.
I know of two polygamous "marriages"(not legal of course) where this has worked for them for decades. Two bi women with one man and two bi men with one woman.
So I know it is possible. But these are not idle sexual unions. These folks live together in decades long serious committed relationships and do not go outside for sexual jollies. There is no jealousy between them. That is the only kind of alternative unions I can understand, having seen it work out beautifully! But to go from lover to lover without a commitment(as I did in my wild youth in search of validation of my attractiveness and sexual worth) is no longer my cup of tea. My first ex was into swapping. A very popular thing for so called sexually liberated folks/couples in the 1970s. But the "experiment" really never worked out for most(if any?) folks in the long run. Free love of the 1960s and 1970s was not all that free. Oh it was a sexual revolution which paved the way for many alternative relationships and gay marriage concepts as the three way "marriages" I spoke of above, the few that are indeed working out very well. Well suffice it to say, with my first ex husband and his swapping fascination, I got bored with that game and him too. Every one of those other sexually liberated swapping couples ended up divorced.

Some great love affairs have worked out to some degree, but not because of sex. Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracey. Royalty has had it's wives in name only and to produce an heir of said royal bloodline, but many had their own true love on the side. But those as a rule are political arrangements firstly and many a royal marriage could not survive the lover on the side. That is sad. "Commoners" have it easy by comparison. Divorce/break-up, move on. But some royals saw true love as it was, and relinquished their royal title to be with their soulmate and true love.

"On the night of December 11, 1936, Edward, now reverted to the title of Prince Edward, made a broadcast to the nation and the Empire, explaining his decision to abdicate. He famously said, "I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as king as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love."

The Duke of Windsor "married" Mrs. Simpson, who had changed her name by deed poll to Wallis Warfield, in a private ceremony on 3 June 1937 at Chateau de Candé, Monts, France."

But the bottom line here is, true soul love is as geminstone explained so well.
Again to quote:
"Love, for me, does not need physical flesh. My body simply makes it possible for my Soul to be whole but, without him... my One... it is just simply that,.. physical flesh and, isn't this just a product of possibility?...
My body didn't recognize his, my Soul found home..."

The physical union is wonderful, sex is fun, but it is the soul love that makes those physical acts be precious sharings.
Yeah sex alone can be fun, but it can leave one feeling drained and hollow. The passion fires of sex alone burns hot and then down fast to cold ashes in a short time. New fires must be made, unlike the warm glowing embers fed gently and never growing cold in the hearth of the soul love. Those lovely eternal glowing embers can be fanned to flames that rival mere sexual only fires of passion, but the embers fueled by soul love continue to softly glow whether there is sex or not.
And many a great love has been carried out by way of letters only, the couples never coming together physically.
Sex can be had without love. But sex does not equal love. And love can be had without sex. Ideally it is very nice indeed to have love with sex. We do have bodily desires after all. But that physiological need should not be confused with love. It is an adjunct to loving, not love in and of itself.
Having experienced sex under various conditions, I know what is precious to me. Soul love comes first. Sex is just a way of expression of it through the physical with my soulmate.
As far as "waiting" for my beloved...Well that was not practical. He was only a year and a 1/2 old when I became involved with my first ex husband. So yeah, I experimented in the past, and learned what was precious to me and what was not. So I can understand the moving from lover to lover in search of the "one".
But once that "one" is found, it would take an awful lot for another to fit in with the same intensity and soul love the two have for each other. As with the 3 way "marriages" I mentioned above, it is possible, but very rare. Those folks live together. They are not going outside of their unions for an extra sex thrill.
Ok rant over.

posted June 07, 2006 11:47 AM         

hehehe... babble but, maybe a needed, personal purge...
Thanks, again, Fayte.
Thanks to you, as well, Sue.

posted June 07, 2006 12:42 PM         

But at age 42 I finally found the real thing!

You said;
Quote:
"... I've not felt that I maybe missed out on anything, in my experience with just one."

Honey you love him and are happy!
You are NOT missing out on anything!
Believe me!

posted June 07, 2006 12:45 PM         

To LOVE

posted June 07, 2006 01:03 PM         

Your words are inspiring and beautiful. You both described so well the depth of true love and how it encompasses the whole being. Within the context of that kind of love between two human beings the souls unite to become one. Since sex is an expression of that love each sexual encounter lifts us to the heights because it is more than two bodies joining together it is an encounter of body and soul. It is really an encounter with God where we get a glimpse of the oneness in God and all of creation. Albeit when my husband and I are making love God is not what we are thinking about at that time. It is the enjoyment of everything that goes with the sexual union -just being held by each other, caressed and expressing our love that we are enjoying. We are just enjoying that unique expression of the deeper soul union that we have with one another. When two people truly love each other in that kind of union each and every moment together is foreplay. Lovemaking doesn't just happen in bed.

I think that those of us who have discovered the kind of love that the two of you speak about know that it is so very true what you have both said here. Once you have discovered that kind of love the seeking that was a part of your youth is over and there is no need to keep looking.

Even within that kind of love there will still be problems that arise. Nothing in life is without problems. But when two people truly love each other with all their being there is no problem that they cannot overcome and the love only grows deeper through the years.

posted June 07, 2006 01:56 PM         

quote:

---

It was rude, cynical, unkind and not in keeping with your christian beliefs...Havent you learned anything about sensitivity Mirandee?

---

Sue, I think we have established on many other threads here at LL that you are more loving, more compassionate, more sensitive and more spiritually enlightened than I am so there is really no need to be redundant about a well established fact on your part. Though let me say, that I find it flattering that you seem to feel the need to compete with me. I don't feel such a need with you or anyone else. I am just being myself and whoever accepts that does and those that don't accept that don't cause me to lose a wink of sleep.

I do not feel that I have to prove that I am in love to you or anyone else, Sue. My husband knows I am in love with him. That is all that matters to me. How does one prove that they are in love anyway? By going around talking about it all the time? People can say anything. That is not proof. My husband and I have a whole history together and we know how we feel about one another. There is no need to prove anything to anyone else.

I suppose you feel it was showing compassion and sensitivity on your part by negating anyone else's experience in a good marriage that has stood the test of time by diminishing their experience and their feelings regarding fidelity in saying they are "small minded," "jealous," "lying about being happily married," and living in "denial."

I suppose you feel that it was compassion and sensitivity on Magus's part in suggesting that it is only an illusion that I and the others here who believe in fidelity to one partner and who have maintained a long lasting relationship have wasted our lives on.

That may be the way he and you feel about love but to me it is horse manure and I just called a spade a spade. Really at a site like LL it makes for a good pick up line if you can convince women of those things.

True spirits just do. They just ARE. They don't talk about it and they don't seek the approval or affirmation of others to live their lives as they choose to do. They are not concerned with the opinions of others regarding their words or actions. So being the true spirits that you and Magus would like to make us think you are, it shouldn't bother either of you at all what I think say about your opinions.

posted June 07, 2006 03:46 PM         

Whether or not one agrees with another's code of living, it is still that person's choice to behave and to seek fulfillment as they wish. And as it has been pointed out many times, each person is at a different level of soul development and a different stage of lessons that must be aquired and learned to move onto the next phase.

While posting my current situation certainly had me out on a limb, I in no way regret doing so. It has seemed to stir conversation on both sides...and while I may not choose to live my life according to other's beliefs, I certainly do not begrudge them the right to choose. Acceptance is a form of love, one of the highest forms, I believe. It is all we are truly seeking..to be accepted for things we are and things we are not. To me, that is love. That is why I say I love many people because I can see past their imperfections or hang ups and really believe in their gifts.

posted June 07, 2006 03:56 PM         

Love is not something that can be quantified or rationalized and to each person love is unique. It's all relative.

I have learned something from each post on this topic and have taken every word to heart.

I do not condone cheating or being secretive about feelings. That is why I said communication is so important in any relationship, whether it be of the open or traditional type. No relationship is without fault or guise. But having someone that you feel comfort with, safety with, and being able to communicate those feelings in an open and honest manner is healing and cathartic.

Love is not just about sexual healing or physical pleasure, not to me. And love MUST be present in all of my sexual encounters. Love heals all wounds, not matter what form it is expressed in.

posted June 07, 2006 06:10 PM         

I dont recall atempting too sugest that I beleive yours or any anyone else's happy monogomys are illusions.

I only remember finding the words I have been stumbling too find too describe what I whole heartedly have felt about relationships

And unfortinatly for my sex life, I dont give or do lines. I dont make light or casual converstation. And I never ever over romantasise anything Im not competly feeling at that moment of expresion.

But thank you for presuming you already know me so well in one paragraph or less. You must have a very lucky husband.

---------------

I could be wrong, but if I had too guees-

Suegee took that lil stab at you not so much because she presumes she knows all thats between you and yer Lover, but perhaps more because you being so quik too sum me all up made her disgusted even further with you. Thus compeling her too wana get under yer skin a bit more.

She was probably only half rite about you and your intimacys.

But if oyu like I could waist several hours of my precous time around here reading up on yer postings and come up with a far more acurate psycological profile on you then she has-

and then proceed too use your own words and testaments against you . I promiss you, Ill be far more efective with my verbal jestings then she if I where too choose too lower my self too playing god around here in such freindly manners of discourse.

Care too tango with a game of who can pick the other apart in one paragraph or less my freindly Lady of paramount wisdomes ? After all, you must of course already know me so well !

posted June 07, 2006 06:18 PM         

I envy and more often then not wish I could be one of the many who only feel Love for the one they are with at this particular time.

I wish when I break up with someone that the feelings most call hate, could convince me that I no longer Love them.

I wish I could find comfort in for "MY SELF" what could only be ignorance that my the one I Love and hold now, is the only Woman Im ment too have and cherish before this life is over.

Yes my sharp tongued freind, Im sitting here wishing I was more like you [perhaps with better manners and a slower too blab nature though] , and have what you apear too have in your mairage now.

posted June 08, 2006 11:40 AM         

I will just ditto everything you said in your two posts above.

We are all at different levels in our attempts at becoming better human beings - or being humans attempting to live more through the soul than the ego. We all have our own unique journies in life and the choices we make in that journey are what we feel is right for us.

I hope that I made it clear that I do not judge you or your choices as I stated they may work for you but aren't necessarily right for everyone else. To each their own. I know that you also have an understanding of that from what you said.

They are your choices and we all make our choices on what we feel is right for us and no one has the right to question those choices based on their own feelings or value systems. It is for that reason that I do not judge other people's lives. I have repeatedly said that on many threads so if anyone attempts to convince you otherwise they are liars. Keep that in mind. I think it was Pidaua (who I have had my go arounds with politically but who I still admire for her honesty and intelligence) who said that on threads like LL we all have our little hate groups and I have mine as well. Such is life.

posted June 08, 2006 11:49 AM         

~~~Having my family totally disown me because my friends are Gay, Bi, Lesbian or in alternative relationship arrangements,
I totally understand how you feel! I have lost my biological bigoted family but my real "Family" who are precious to me remain.
May you continue to be happy!

posted June 08, 2006 12:53 PM         

I am not ignoring your post. I started to reply to your post but realized that I did not have the time right now to say what I wanted to say. So I will get back later this evening.

At this time though, I will say that if I misunderstood what you were attempting to say or misjudged your intentions I sincerely apologize.

posted June 08, 2006 12:59 PM         

I do not feel that you have judged me or others, whatever their relationship status may have be. I was just concerned that the tone of the discussion may become less than tolerant. While everyone has their own personal views is absolute, the manner in which they are expressed does not have to be expressed in a way that make others feel their choices are being criticized as immoral or wrong. I am not implying that you have done this, by any means. Tact is the key when dealing which such a controversial and sensitive topic. You seemed to have demonstrated it quite well. Thanks for understanding and your kind words! I always say I am a lover by nature, a sensualist in spirit, and empath in heart. Notice my head does not figure into the equation any where. LOL..I rely on it only when my heart does not know the answers. Good luck in your journey as well.

fayte.m-

It is truly a sad situation that your family would disown you for other's choices and your willingness to accept people as they are. This is something that I try to instill in my children. It is a pity that they would not want the same kindness and understanding in you. I am very happy that you can see above the ignorance and know that a person's true nature does not lie in their sexual orientation just like it is not found in the clothes that they wear, the job that they do, etc. Tis just a shell! Kudos to you! Your life, undoubtedly, will be filled with many magical moments and blessings, inspired by uniqueness and indiduality. It is also amazing where we find comfort and security, and how sometimes it is not the people we expect to fall to.

I love your quotes. They truly demonstrate your willingness to live and experience life, instead of allowing each moment to pass you by. May you continue to be happy, as well.

posted June 08, 2006 02:09 PM         

My chosen Family is my real family
For me, blood is not thicker than water. Biological families are not always compatible socially.

Thanks Spellbound.

posted June 09, 2006 08:27 AM         

Apparently it gives you a chance to miss each other. You get the best of both worlds.

posted June 09, 2006 10:10 AM         

I think that yes, it can be an embraceble and ego-transcending ideal, but only if all people involved's intentions are truly the result of an individual soul-enlightenment they came from on their own. All too often this ideal can be twisted by selfish motive. Either as a projected image to hope to please a more freedom-thinking person, or as a concept that is used to manipulate impressionable individuals for one's own desire of multiple sexual adventures. I believe it's important that someone is strong in their own identity and have formed it on their own, from an inner journey rather than any outward influences. The awareness from this strength from within will help them discern others better.

If it comes truly from all people involved individual Truth, from the inner journey that brought them there, and sincere caring for the best for everyone's welfare involved, than beautiful.

But I think this is very rare thing for the most part, that all involved will be this selfless and purely intentioned and enlightened. And so, great care must be taken as well as higher discriminitive abilities to recognize manipulative desires as opposed to who someone really is and what is truly motivating them.

I think it's entirely possible to love more than one person truly from your heart simultaneously. I have. And I do. Whoever I am in a relationship with will have to accept the others to accept me. HOnesty is all important. As is honor and mutual respect.

I don't think it's suited for those with extreme ways of thinking. Or someone who draws conclusions easily or labels others quickly. To me, jealousy is a natural human emotion. So, to go into it expecting a person to be entirely void of it, is an unrealistic expectation. If accepted casually and openly discussed, newer understanding and an even more beautiful intimacy can come from it. But, if blown out of proportion, or assumed immediately someone is unable to be evolved enough to be in an open relationship for it, is a extremist form of labeling someone, which I can't respect or understand. An all or nothing, or this or that thinking isn't flexible enough to understand or accept the humanities of someone. Without that, there can't be growth, which should hopefully be the aim.

Consideration and respect is very important. If I sense that someone isn't respectful enough to take my feelings into account...or a gentlemen enough to treat me with dignity, than I know it would never work. I've found older men are more capable of understanding how to treat a woman, and be more respectfully discrete about their other affections in her presence. Younger men (not all, but most I've encountered), can't seem to understand how a woman's needs for respect doesn't necessarily mean that she is saying you HAVE to be exclusive for her. They are more apt to draw extreme conclusions, without understanding that respectful consideration is one of the most important things to be able to to making open relationships work. Honesty and freedom, yes most definately. But never at the price of disregarding someone's feelings.

All that said, I was also for a long time content and faithful to one partner...and my parent's have been married forever and are very happy. So I do respect and understand that as well. Live and let live as long as it's true to who you are and happy.

I'm more apt to believe that time presents itself as you go. Sometimes the Universe brings you gifts you cannot deny. This is the best for me now, and I'm entirely open to experiencing whatever the future may bring with an open heart and mind. I can't say what that will be, or assume to know how I will respond to it and receive it... but I'll be consoled it was for the journey and Truth to myself that brought me to it.