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Author Topic:   Fidelity
sue g
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Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 31, 2006 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Has anyone here who has been in a long term relationship remained faithful (sexually) to their partner or their partner to them...

I have been with my man for over 17 years and am amazed that we have been true to each other....

I am not saying this wont change in the future...we are very honest with each other and have promised to be open if we decide we would like to sleep with another man or woman. There would be none of that clandestine stuff going on....we care too much for each other for that.

Does anyone think with the Age of Aquarius dawning that fidelity may become a thing of the past (for a lot of folks that is)?

How many think they would find to hard to stay true to one life long partner...

Curious as to yer opinions as ever..

Sue

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geminstone
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Posts: 740
From: Golden, CO
Registered: Nov 2004

posted June 01, 2006 04:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for geminstone     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sue... My husband and I have been, for almost 14 years now... I, personally, feel it would be far more difficult to be otherwise. However, like you have said of your own partnership, we too have discussed and, concluded that we care for each other and, what we have built together, enough to give the respect of a simple, honestly told finding of interest elsewhere, should either of us encounter such. As I said, personally, I can't even imagine it myself but, to each their own.. I do not claim rite to lead anyone else's life-path.. this includes my husband.. and, even our kid's... Perhapes this Aquarian Age brings forth a more detached of the life-path of other's... more fidelity to understanding individual and, finding in that, the unconditional love that knows that each unique piece/individual, is necessary to discovering this... each life-path bringing different tools of tolerance to the whole...
Even though I know what it is I am floundering to explain here,... I can only hope that something in the babble makes sense!
Nice string

~ geminstone

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Gooberzlostlovefound
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Posts: 792
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted June 01, 2006 07:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
Hmm that is a good question. I don't know. I think that while some relationships could work out as "open" ones....I think many, also, could not. It depends on the couple I suppose.

I know that personally, I wouldn't be able to deal with it. If I love the man that I'm with, I don't see myself as ever having the desire to be with someone else. And if he did...that would totally crush me. I would not be able to deal with it. I have Venus conj. Pluto. In Scorpio!!!

But, who knows. I could see it working out for certain couples. Maybe those with a lot of Aquarius, Gemini, or Sagittarius in their charts. Or individuals with, say, Uranus in the 7th house, or Venus trine Uranus?

Overall, though, it's just my feeling that fidelity will never completely become a thing of the past, because I think too many relationships depend on it.

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ScarlettSoul
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posted June 01, 2006 10:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScarlettSoul     Edit/Delete Message
I think I could definitely be faithful to the one I love... to be totally honest, even though I have been apart from the love of my life for 4 years, I still sometimes feel I am "cheating" when I am with someone else... like I promised my heart to him long ago, and I meant it... silly I know. I have to talk myself out of that thinking sometimes.

But more and more it does seem lots of people cheat... I don't know. Sue, I think you and your husband must have a very deep love, respect and trust for each other to be able to think as you do!

I think in general, open relationships are fine. I hate to sound like a non-feminist, or old fashioned, but IN GENERAL (I know there are many exceptions) women tend to fall in love when they are involved intimately with a man, and no matter how much you think you can leave your emotions out of it, often they sneak up and can create havoc. However, I know there are those women that can easily be with many men and not give it a second thought. In my experience though, they are few and far between. Most of the time, open marriages usually come to an end due to jealousy, discomfort, etc.

I have no problem with what consenting adults do, except for when there are children in the home... I really believe that when kids are in the picture, giving them a stable, loving home is the most important thing. In this case, I think parents need to put their desires on the backburner and focus on being the best possible parents, and not putting the family unit at risk.

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Mirandee
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Posts: 1037
From: A Galaxy Far, Far Away
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posted June 02, 2006 12:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
How many think they would find to hard to stay true to one life long partner...

Obviously not me as I have been with my life partner for what will be 41 years Aug.28th. I have known him since I was 12 and he was 13 1/2. Few people find their soul mate that young so we got lucky.

I think it's easy for couples to talk about being with someone else, my husband and I have also discussed that. But once it actally happens it is usually a different matter. Jealousy enters into it and trust is lost. Once trust is lost it is real hard for most people to stay on in the relationship.

I don't judge the relationships of others. Live and let live. But the way I see it is that if you truly love someone why would you even want to be with someone else? I am a Taurus with Venus in Taurus. Maybe that is why I feel as I do about fidelity.

I have had many offers in my life but I know there is nothing better "out there" than what I already have. I know my husband feels the same way as he has told me that the guys at work would ask him why he never flirts back with the women there. He told them it's because I haven't seen anything better than what I have at home.

Our relationship in all aspects has never been boring. I am at best unpredictable and for that reason my husband says life has never been boring with me. He said it has been like being married to a lot of different women in one. lol He has been a wonderful husband and father and he is a wonderful "papa" now to his grand kids. You can't beat that in my book.

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sue g
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From: former land of the leprechaun
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posted June 02, 2006 06:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks ladies....

Yes I agree Mirandee....talking about it and doing it are two different things !!!

When my man and I were going thro a rough patch recently I voiced my concern that I had been his only lover and he actually said he wondered how it would be to have sex with another. I told him I couldnt stop him....but I knew deep down my heart would be broken.

With the passage of a little time and lots of talking and loving, he tells me I am enough....although I still dont agree that its a good idea to have just one sexual partner. Even my mother at 81 and always a very moralistic woman is now showing signs of regret that my Dad was her only one. I suppose one would always be curious.

But as my hubbie said "once you do it then theres no turning back and the consequences have to be faced"....

Hmmmm....to me its a very sacred thing....who I let inside of me...and although I have thought that maybe in the future, I may give myself to another man,,,,,I would have to love him deeply and be sure he felt the same way...

And then of course I would have to accept that if I do it, then my husband would be free to also....

Eeeeeek.....

Food for thought hey?

p.s. Mirandee 41 years....you must have been VERY young when you married?????

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Selena
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Posts: 213
From:
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posted June 04, 2006 04:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selena     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sue,

I feel exactly the same as you, and others who contributed on this thread.

Perhaps it is the way I was brought up, or just the sense of what is fair and just (you know, don't do to others what you don't want done to yourself thing), but I could not cheat on anyone!
Oh, yes, I do have temptations, but the mere tought of what would come after "the deed" had been done, if I was to do it, just makes me never even attempt it.

What I mean is, I know that afterwards I would be wracked with guilt, shame, remorse, and what for? Just few nights of passion, maybe,and after that? It is just not worth it...

I just don't think that I would like MYSELF if I cheated on someone, especially if that someone didn't deserve it, it is just dishonest, and if there is one characteristics that I can apply to myself, I think that I am an honest person...

I haven't been married for that long, 6 years, but I just can't imagine myself cheating. I would rather first leave the person I am with if I fall out of love, or, perhaps, fall in love with someone else, but I cannot cheat, it just goes against who I am. People fall in and out of love, that happens, but I think that it is more fair and respectful to the other peson to tell them that and leave, rather than doing something behind their back.
I don't think it has anything to do with horoscopes, or the Age of Aquarius, or similar. I know some Saggies and Geminis who are very faithful (look at Paul McCartney), and I personally know several Tauruses who are cheats (I swear!).
I have Venus in Gemini trine Mars in Aquarius and trine Uranus in Libra, so grand trine in air, however, that doesn't make me want to have an open relationship at all.
So, it just depends on the person's sense of morals. I am not moralising here at all, that's not my point, but what I mean is, that it depends on how the person was brought up, how much they respect their current partner, and their own sense of integrity, regardless of sun signs.
Falling in love with someone else is OK, sometimes it just happens, cheating is not...
Just my 2 cents (or, 2 pennies, in my case )
Love to all, Selena.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 04, 2006 07:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
I agree Selena

Falling genuinely in love with another is totally different from cheating....

And call me old fashioned, but i have to be very in love to sleep with another.....(alhough in the past I have done both....fallen in love and cheated with that other one...although even then I had to love them)!

Now I wouldnt rule out the second possibility, it could happen to anyone,,,,but I cant see myself doing the cheating thing.....not now I am older and wiser!

I would have to tell my husband, I love him too much to lie.....

In an ideal world, I would choose to have two men, to be in love with both and they love me.....and I know then I would probably have all my needs fulfilled. This really appeals, cos when one gets tired or fed up of me, then I could go to the other....PERFECT...!!!!.....

In an ideal world of course...

Maybe with a lot of praying?.......

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Selena
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From:
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 04, 2006 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selena     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sue,

I feel exactly the same. Yes, in an ideal world, we would have both of them, however, if I really, truly, madly, deeply fall in love with somebody else, than, I probably would not want the first guy any more...
You know that feeling when you are so deeply in love with someone, you don't need or want anyone else. So, in this case, it is just one guy at the time for me...
And like you, if this (falling in love) happened, I would have to tell him, out of respect, but I do hope that I don't come in that situation, because it must be a shattering feeling for people to admit that to the other side.
Anyway, some things are just plain wrong, and I think that cheating is one of them.
Cheers, S.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 04, 2006 03:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Selena

I used to think that.

But now I am feeling I could love two men at the same time....of course it would be different love, but even so I am beginning to feel differently about the love energy...really I am...

The more I work with this energy and channel it in every day, I feel there is room for mor than one partner....not necessarily on a sexual level (still not sure of that one), but as for pure love, yes I think I could....

But that is just me, and I am changing....the "rules' I used to live by are not as rigid, and funnily enough one of the people that has helped me with this is my husband !!!!

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writesomething
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Posts: 351
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted June 04, 2006 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for writesomething     Edit/Delete Message
I think when you're in love...fidelity comes easily, there is no need to cheat...i guess im young and idealistic, ive been in relationships where i had gotten bored out of my mind, and was curious about others and soon after the relationships dissolved..then one day you fall in love, and the thought of another man never crosses your mind again...

i was in a relationship for 3 years, and though i never cheated, i did cheat in my heart, i wasnt in love with him, it was horrible...*sigh*

------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

-Khalil Gibran

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Kim Rogers
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From: Watertown MN USA
Registered: Apr 2006

posted June 05, 2006 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kim Rogers     Edit/Delete Message
For me fidelity is everything! If my relationship is failing, for whatever reason, I would leave first.

I was married to a man for 10 years. When I couldn't take anymore of him I left, but I remained faithful not to him, but my own values.

In the future it will be the same. It's a trust & intamacy issue as well as my own values. I could not do it, and if he does-he's gone. No second chance!

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spellbound
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Posts: 131
From: Illinois
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 05, 2006 11:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for spellbound     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,

I completely agree with your post. And rather get into the "whys" and "why nots", I'll explain my current situation.

I have been involved with my mate for 3 years. Granted that is not a lengthy amount of time, but I feel as if he and I have been together before. The emotion and intensity was instantaneous and I felt comfort and safety in another person that I had never known.

He is very charismatic and attractive, yet reserved and quiet in his own way; one never really knows what he is thinking, unless it's me. But he opened a door for me, of sorts...and now he and I experience many things together, one of which involves sharing ourselves with others. It's taking a lot of strength on my part to even post this, not that I am ashamed in the least, but I have a feeling that it may not be well recieved. At any rate, we enjoy it.

I'm not talking sexual liasons with a vast array of people. I am speaking of sharing experiences with others we know and care for in an open and loving manner. It has only strengthened our love for each other, and has allowed us to forge a deeper bond, by understanding and really seeing what each of us needs to be happy. He has an incredible love and respect for women, all women, all kinds. It is not something I wish to rob him of, on the contrary. It is something that I admired in him from the beginning. He is not the type to treat women as "pieces of meat", nor does he ever degrade them in any way. He seems them as beautiful creatures and enjoys the softness and delicate emotion that they bring to his life.

I have always been attracted to women, and have never been ashamed of that fact. And through our experiences alone or with others I have learned so much more about myself and realize that LOVE comes in many forms. I encourage him to have other women in his life, and feel no jealousy, no bitterness, or animosity because we have always been honest with each other. He feels the same way. We communicate our desires and our needs for fulfillment and have no problem sharing those experiences together.

I know a lot of people may not understand this. And I am not using this platform to condone or dismay others. I am just stating that is has been a deeply enriching experience, one filled with love, tenderness, compassion, and emotion. Not purely for the sexual component, but by just sharing an intimate, soul level relationship with others. We did not seek to change each other, instead we embraced it together, and have found something very fulfilling and exciting that suits both of us. Love comes in many different forms. Sharing him with others doesn't mean I do not love him with all that I have, it just means that I see that I cannot provide him with everything he needs and vice versa.

Yes, I believe that you can love more than one person in your life, and for many different reasons. People bring different things to the table and provide you with different experiences to draw upon. I have no doubts that I love many people and giving that love back to them is a cherished gift.

SB

He and I have a lot of uranus and jupiter contacts.

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Selena
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From:
Registered: Mar 2006

posted June 06, 2006 05:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Selena     Edit/Delete Message
Kim,

You've managed to explain something in a few words, that I needed a whole chapter to explain!

This is it, "remaining faithful to my own values"!!!! That's exactly why I could not cheat, so I could not cheat on my values, rather then on someone else.
Cheers!

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fayte.m
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Posts: 4458
From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
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posted June 06, 2006 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with what has been said here by most.
Kim, I can definitely relate to this:
Quote:
"If my relationship is failing, for whatever reason, I would leave first."
Quote:
"When I couldn't take anymore of him I left, but I remained faithful not to him, but my own values."
Quote:
"It's a trust & intamacy issue as well as my own values. I could not do it, and if he does-he's gone. No second chance!"

>>>>>Dishonesty and lying and sneaking I will not ever tolerate. Be it about sex, money,or anything.<<<<<


------------------
~I intend to continue learning forever~"Fayte"
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS-

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 06, 2006 10:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
spellbound

Thankyou so much for your honesty and sincerity and bravery in posting.....

Dont worry if its not well accepted,,,,that is their problem, if there is anyone who does dissaprove, they are probably a) jealous b) small minded c) in denial......blah blah blah....

I would much rather read and embrace your heartfelt comments than the cra* some spout just becose they couldnt admit how, unloved, lonely or bored they are with their men. To kid themselves, they would often say how happy they are....my mother is one, my sister is another. I dont trust someone who continually rants on about how happy they are in their marriages.....dont ring true somehow girl. I know one woman who will not say a word against her husband and yet she has slept with 4 or 5 men during their marriage, and years ago she admitted to me that she isnt in love with him at all....there is bull$hit for you!!!

If I am honest, I would love to have the guts to do what you are doing,,,,but am not sure if I have the emotional capactiy for it....I may be too vulnerable or not have the heart to let go, and yet I am intrigued....

Would love to know how many people live like this, especially now we are coming into the Age of Aquarius.....

Yes its a most intriguing way of living....and in theory it sounds wonderful....

But for me not sure how it would be in practise?

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
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posted June 06, 2006 10:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
spellbound

is your man a Virgo.....and what sign are you, if you dont mind me asking....thanks

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pixelpixie
Moderator

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From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted June 06, 2006 10:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
spellbound, you are so eloquent and loving.. who could judge your own choices?
I'm glad this works so brilliantly for you!
It sounds like a great solution, if it is open and honest.
I wish I weren't a naturally jealous person. I am secure..... but I play things over in my head, and can get awfully hypocritical, when he flirts... we don't fight about it or anything, it is an internal conflict. I'd like to hold my jealousy in my hands, understand it and squash it. That's how much I hate it.
I'd love to be able to explore in a comfortable place inside. Alas, I know I wouldn't be able to handle it.. I suppose, unless it were people we both loved. Then there is a sharing aspect.. nothing I wouldn't do for them kinda' thing.. haha. I come from a place of ego a lot and it is hard to transcend, although I am geting better at it as i get older and learn more.

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teaselbaby
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From: Northeast Ohio
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posted June 06, 2006 11:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaselbaby     Edit/Delete Message
I just have to say that I love to hear about happy marriages/relationships ~ I can be cynical at times, but also appreciate the fact that there are people who have been married for years and still adore each other. Rather than being a bunch of crap spouted by those who are lonely or bored, it could be that any negative happenings may come out in a one-on-one conversation with another person feeling something that was felt in the past by one or both parties in that marriage, something that they worked through ~ it just isn't something that we all need to know about.

I'm an Aries with Moon/Venus in Gemini inconjunct Uranus/Scorpio ascendant.. I don't think that I could be a part of an open relationship, but I don't feel judgemental towards you spellbound, or towards sue g and her husband for considering it.

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fayte.m
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From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~
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posted June 06, 2006 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
spellbound
I do understand what you are saying.
I personally know of several couples like yours!
They have very good(and long) marriages and are indeed very happy! Not everyone who claims to be very happy in their marriage is "faking" it!
Some truly are happy!
Be it a monogomous union or an open one.
If it is loving and honest and NO jealousy involved or game playing...
Both kinds of marriages can be very happy!

------------------
~I intend to continue learning forever~"Fayte"
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS-

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spellbound
Knowflake

Posts: 131
From: Illinois
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 06, 2006 12:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for spellbound     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,

The emotionalism is part of the reason why I enjoy it so much. There is something beautiful about it to me and to him, and the fact that we share it together. It's not something that we just decided to do one day to add spice to things, okay well maybe, it just kind of happened. It's about trust, communication, understanding, and acceptance of another persons gifts, faults, and hopes. We have found a safety in each other that before this relationship was totally foreign to both of us. It is amazing to me to see the change in him. He was quite unattached emotionally to a lot of people, a lot of things for fear of being hurt. I think me loving him for who he is from the beginning and not asking him to change did more than open him up; it helped him love without restrictions and accept more of who he is.

It has not always been without jealousy on my part. I'm a pisces, and typically very insecure with who I give my heart away to. But he has been patient, even said if it doesn't feel right to me or I don't enjoy it we'd stop..and it's not always us sharing, we spend a lot of quiet moment together talking, cuddling, laughing, etc. He is a virgo. The virgo that I have discussed many times. He is beautiful to me and treat my heart with the utmost respect and adoration.

Pixie--

Thanks for your kind words. But you're right, the arrangement is not for everyone or every situation. To each is own...I cannot really say that this type of situation will always work or that we will always be interested in it. But for the time being, it has proven to be wonderful for us both.

Thanks to all of you for your warm acceptance, even if it is not something you agree with or could yourselves do. It seems to have transformational properties for us. Our composite chart has an 8th house sun, mercury, and moon in Gem with venus conj Mars in Taurus in the 7th. It's odd how that all applies and how we have both transformed just by experiencing our sexuality together instead of hiding it from each other.

Again, sorry, long post. I cannot write anything short. I'm cursed with gift of the gab. Thanks again.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 5345
From: former land of the leprechaun
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posted June 06, 2006 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
I see SO many unhappy marriages in Ireland....people who are not open with each other, put up for the kids or money etc......women moaning that their husbands watch tv all night and ignore them, dont give them affection or worse still abuse them....and yet they stay.

And now i think only the strongest marriages could endure this type of open relationship. I am told often how lucky I am to be so open with my partner, but for me and he, this IS love, no lying or being deceitful....it is hard to admit how you feel to even the closest person in yer life, but to stay together and bring in others, sometimes could save a marriage......

I am sorry if I come across as cynical, but I talk to lots of women and I have to say the ones that I do come across are not being fulfilled in their marriages, whether it be sexually, mentally or spiritually.....but they will initially say "oh yes everything is grand"....until they start to open up....

I suppose denial is an easy option for some....I cant be like this...

spellbound....thanks again for bringing this to the board....it has helped me.....greatly....

Love to you girl and good luck with yer life....

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spellbound
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From: Illinois
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 06, 2006 01:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for spellbound     Edit/Delete Message
Sue,

Your strength and courage is amazing to me. I love that you are a bit cynical; it puts things in the right perspective, never letting your guard down fully.

I do agree that there are lots of women that I know that feel the same about their marriages and it is definately sad. As discussed on another board, women deserved to be revered and adored as the beautiful creatures that they are...and should have an attentive and dedicated mate. I think it comes down to confidence and sheer power of will. Women who know where they are and who they are and what they need to be happy can say, this is what I NEED...and if it's not provided move on. I just got lucky enough to find someone that fit me so perfectly. Granted, everything is not roses, and of course we are not always laying around in bed lost in a fantasy world. But what we have created feels closer to any fantasy I have ever envisioned.

I have no problems with marriage or conventional relationships and applaud those who live their lives according to their own doctrine. What I do have a problem with is the piece of paper it is written on, stating my love and devotion for another person. That is not for me. I guess I too am a bit cynical in that department, but it comes from years of bad relationships and hurt feelings, not feeling fulfilled.

I applaud you as well for not taking the easy road, and instead chosing to deal with your issues head-on with your mate. That takes a lot of strength and courage, especially when it is something that may be painful to both of you.

I am happy that my words have helped you..that means a lot knowing that someone understands. Good luck to you too...and if you ever feel the urge to chat..hit me up sometime..I am sure we could have some wonderful conversations.

SB

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Mirandee
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From: A Galaxy Far, Far Away
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posted June 06, 2006 11:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I just have to say that I love to hear about happy marriages/relationships ~ I can be cynical at times, but also appreciate the fact that there are people who have been married for years and still adore each other. Rather than being a bunch of crap spouted by those who are lonely or bored, it could be that any negative happenings may come out in a one-on-one conversation with another person feeling something that was felt in the past by one or both parties in that marriage, something that they worked through ~ it just isn't something that we all need to know about.

Well said and very insightful, teaselbaby. Talking and working it out. That normally is the way relationships last. It also serves both partners for personal growth, to come to love each other all the more and it improves the relationship - continually making it better.

To each their own. Live and let live. That has always been my motto for minding my own business. I do not judge other people's lives or relationships.

What works for spellbound isn't necessarily going to work for everyone else. That doesn't mean those who would not want that type of relationship are "jealous" or "small minded" or "in denial." It just means that others may have different values and a different idea of what love should be. While spellbound may be being true to her own value system those that disagree with "open relationships" are also being true to their own values.

Just because some people you encounter or know might be staying in bad marriages for whatever reason they have for doing so it doesn't necessarily apply that everyone who says they have a good marriage, are happy with the person they are married to and contented with their life are either lying or living in denial. In many cases it means that they are truly happily married and don't want to be with anyone other than who they have chosen to share their love and life with. We are all different. Some people value faithfulness highly and other people either don't or have a real hard time being faithful. I just think that the latter should never take any vows they know they can't fulfill. It's best to just remain single.

It's totally possible to love two people or more at the same time. Just not in the same way. I have always had male friends as well as female friends. Some of my male friends I have loved and respected very much. Just not in the same way that I love my husband. I can share my soul with many people but sharing my body along with my soul is something that belongs to my husband and that is based on my values as well as the special feelings I have for him. That is the way I am, anyway. Like I said, I don't judge others.

In answer to your question before, Sue, I was 19 when we married. He had just turned 21. Not really young for the 60's but young for these days.

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MAGUS of MUSIC
Knowflake

Posts: 1471
From: The Highlands,NY,usa
Registered: Jun 2002

posted June 06, 2006 11:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MAGUS of MUSIC     Edit/Delete Message
Here is the wording for said notions Ive been stumbling too find a summory of for a coouple years now.-


Many of us still Love most of, or many of our former partners/Lovers. Be it comfortably admited too the concous self, or a special place buried deep in the depths our mortaly pations an hearts.

Social and marital standards of the last few thousand years only permit us too express and share this heartfelt connection with one partner at a moment in times illusions.

Break the programed and beaten in rules of only one Love at a time, smash it, tear it, burn the ego, cruicify the standards and look past the sands that seperate our hearts from our souls-

Dont many of us still Love 2, 3, 4, or even more cherished Lovers and souls all at once anyway ?

Whats the difference if we express an share it with only one other mortal body at this petty moment in the illusion of time when we still Love our prior hearts, the one in the body we hold in our bed this night, and the ones we have yet meet this very life ?


Sure, in our mortal concousness's very limited capicitys for keeping measure and trek its far simpler too tell our selves "this is my Lover now, this is now the one who I call my own" its far simpler and easyer too deal with.

Regardless, are we- each and everyone of us only fooling our selves that we have "only one Love" at a time ?


Is monogamy only serving the purpose too help us simplify and catagorise who we call our Love,

at this moment,

rite now,

a moment that very realisticly may not even exist


?

[is that a well thought out point of view, or just another head feck !]

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