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Author
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Topic: Warning about Soul Mates and Karmic Connections
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BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 170
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 06:56 AM
 
People keep running into the same problem over and over on this board- so if I can help at least one person avoid this common pitfall then it's worth it.Nothing makes a man run faster than telling him he's your "Soul Mate" or that you have a "Karmic Connection" or that you're "Meant to be together." The guy feels trapped; like he has no choice. I could tell stories on this for days. 1) I knew a man who was very interested in a girl, until that girl went to a palm reader who told her they were "soul mates." After she repeated what the palm reader said, all he could see was her faults. Everything she did and said was suddenly wrong. He broke up with her. 2) I knew another girl who went to an astrologer, who told her she had a "Karmic Relationship" with her boyfriend. After she repeated what the astrologer said to her boyfriend, he started sleeping around with another girl to prove he was still a "free man." She had to break up with him. 3) A good friend of mine got a past life reading about her boyfriend.(She was told he was a sailor who had gone to sea and never returned, and she had waited for him. Now they were re-united in this life at last!) Before the reading, her boyfriend had said he was in love with her and wanted to marry her. He nodded in agreement as she told him about their "past life." After that, she never heard from him again. The irony was, she wasn't sure she wanted to marry him, but the past life reading convinced her they were "meant to be together." And then he ran out! It has the same effect as saying "I love you, and want to marry you, and have your babies, and be together for ever and ever!!!" It's just like throwing cold water down his pants. If you are "soul mates" or whatever, you keep the knowledge under your hat until he figures it out...ON HIS OWN. IP: Logged |
CapGirl
Knowflake Posts: 369
From: Indianapolis, IN, USA
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 08:50 AM
That seems like basic common sense to me but some women are more open and prone to sharing all I guess. I cannot imagine telling a guy about anything too deep as far as the metaphysical... Even talking to guys in depth about astrology, beyond a bit of sun sign fodder, could likely send them packing. Women who are into astrology are not looked upon favorably by most men I'm afraid.IP: Logged |
CrankyCap
Knowflake Posts: 371
From: Powell, Ohio, United States
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 11:46 AM
I'm with you guys on that. It's definitely better to keep your metaphysical interests to yourself unless you're with an ultra romantic or spiritual realm interested guy. Most men will run for the hills at the first sign of that stuff. Which probably goes along with the simple fact that men are more logical and women are more emotional theory. Men like to see FACTS and evidence to support theory. Women will often go by their intuition. I've been fairly lucky in that all of the men I've dated have been slightly intrigued by all of my astrology and dream books, even to the point where they've wanted to see their full charts. I've never really forced it on them though, and I usually try to feel them out first before bringing up my interest in it. My Scorp bf already knew his sun, moon, and asc signs before we met, which was a first for me. It's nice because I can talk to him about a lot of it, and he's gone to psychics on occasion himself. But even with him, he only believes to a point - I can usually tell when he starts to think I've gotten "a little too into it." IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 5816
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted July 24, 2006 12:01 PM
Mine did not run. 
Maybe that IS HOW YOU KNOW!CrankyCap 
I believe you are correct.
IF he is NOT into the spiritual and past lives things, he will not understand.
Another thing...
Offer loyalty and deep friendship first. Show that you really and most sincerely desire friendship and would stay their friend even if it never evolves into anything of a romantic or sexual relationship. You want them in your life in what ever capacity they can handle.
Hope that made sense.  ------------------
~I intend to continue learning forever~Enigma
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.~Enigma
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.~NEXUS
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.~Enigma
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS- IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 3436
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted July 24, 2006 12:23 PM
Is it just me, or,
doesnt this have more to do with these guys being total jerks?!Maybe not the first guy -
I mean, it makes sense that he would begin focussing on what was "wrong", after being assured how right everything is. That tends to be a phase in every relationship, though, after the initial high of "finding" each other, and, if it is a good relationship, this phase does not herald the end of the relationship. Still, the "soul mate" comment may have skipped the bonding part, taking it for granted, and rushed straight into the doubting phase, in which case the foundational bond had not been established to begin with. So that makes sense. He probably wasn't a jerk. I agree, you can scare a guy off by coming on too strong... But, only a total jerk, who is no good for you anyway,
is going to react by cheating on you,
or cutting off contact cold-turkey
after having just proposed marriage. These two guys were total creeps. Good ridance!
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CancerianMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1018
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted July 24, 2006 03:55 PM
Im with fayte.m on this one...mine didnt run either.. he said this confirmed his feelings too..he also told me that me being so open and honest with my thoughts and feelings is my best quality..
I think though.. BerrySweet you have a point in that alot of people may say these things just because they have been TOLD it not because they deeply FEEL it..and certainly in circumstances when the guy seems not to interested in the metaphysical.. then relax and approach with caution with them type subjects..
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fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 5816
From:
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted July 24, 2006 04:03 PM
CancerianMoon
Quote by you:
quote:
he said this confirmed his feelings too..he also told me that me being so open and honest with my thoughts and feelings is my best quality..
>>>My beloved  said the same to me.
Being he is a Cancerian who is also extremely spiritual, he totally appreciated my straightforwardness and no head games or wasteful flirtings.
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~I intend to continue learning forever~Enigma
~I am still learning~ Michangelo
The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords.~Enigma
The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes.~NEXUS
Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages.~Enigma
In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem.
-NEXUS-
IP: Logged |
Venus De Milo
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 05:09 PM
With the guy I thought was my soul mate, I was lucky enough when we first met to be able to dissect his chart with him. He was a Scorpio rising and he told me he has always been interested in the occult and metaphysical and everything related, but he didnt know where to start. So he knows that our connection is somehow "fated" by the stars. I have a funny story about this... lol... when we first met... within the first few months, I got confused with his year of birth. I calculated this big synastry reading with 1976 instead of 1975 as his birth year. Of course, it came out HORRIBLE! LOL! There were all this Mars and Saturn squaring my personal planets... I wanted to cry! He called me and I was almost in tears and I said "our astrology is horrible! it says you're going to be really mean to me!"... He was like "I will never be mean to you"... we finally decided that we would be conscious of those aspects and not be mean to each other, EVER. Aaaaawwww, right? Well, we actually do have his Saturn opposing my Moon and as soon as the retrograde kicked in, he's completely shut me out. It's so cruel. I hate him  IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 3436
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted July 24, 2006 05:20 PM
I'm sorry, Venus.  IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 2912
From: California
Registered: Oct 2001
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posted July 24, 2006 06:07 PM
OMG Exactly! What is the point of telling someone, they have to find it out for themself. (theirself?)Most guys don't believe in Astrology, Palm Readers, anyways. So keep/use the information for yourself, until/unless the guy ever reveals he's into that stuff too. IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 2439
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 06:47 PM
Yeah, I agree that you shouldn't reveal this type of thing to a "non-believer". But I wouldn't even reveal it anyways if some psychic just told me. Like Fayte said, you have to feel it too. You can't make a house without a foundation. If you don't feel it, you should just wait and see what happens.I understand the first guy's response because that's human nature. The other two guys sound like assholes. Something tells me that in those cases, the psychic jacked those women.They should get a refund. IP: Logged |
Love
Knowflake Posts: 394
From: Canada
Registered: Feb 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 06:48 PM
Yeah, I agree with all of you. Men often do get freaked out by talk of anything that makes them feel boxed in or committed without their prior approval - lol.However, I wouldn't want to be with someone who judged me that harshly for believing in the merits of astrology or my own personal brand of spirituality. I get flack for it by men every once in a while, and it just says more about them than it does about me as far as I'm concerned. Spirituality, belief in the unseen and astrology are such a big part of who I am and have been such a helpful guide in my life that if someone left me because of that I would consider it a message from the universe that I was better of without them. Having said all that, it is probably best not to tell your new boyfriend that he might as well propose right away since you're clearly soulmates. Love IP: Logged |
and
unregistered
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posted July 24, 2006 07:13 PM
if something like that would scare a guy off, then he obviously couldnt handle being with me in general...who wants a weak man like that? if hes the one, he will stay, and it wont scare him away...most guys are entertained by my knowledge of astrology and most dont mind, but if any of them did, i would just assume he wasnt the type id want to associate with anyway....im not going to shut my mouth about anything unless it doesnt feel right, im not going to pretend i dont know about astrology/pastlives/etc just to seem "normal" and not scare a man away....who wants a man who would get scared away by this sort of info anyway?
and good luck having any man try to figure anything on their own, especially being soulmates...most guys wont even go that far....
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"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit" "Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" -Khalil Gibran IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 6525
From: In AZ with my Sexy Bear the Leo!!!! Beary Pidmiss
Registered: May 2002
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posted July 24, 2006 07:34 PM
I think it depends on two people. If I was had been dating a guy and he told me he went to a psychic and we where destined for each other, I would creep out.. and I study astrology. I think that there are points in a chart that will indicate true love potential,but no one knows if they are destined to be together just by a chart reading. My ex and I decided to do our charts / synastry. He told me he was very much into astrology etc... LIAR... well, as soon as he thought he had me- he made fun of all things astrology / metaphysical. Then...he started to use the synastry chart against me "Oh Pidaua, that is just you having that whole Pluto thing going on. You should listen to what I have to say because you alienated me in another life and hurt me deeply" I was like WTF? You think I hurt you then? Just wait until I get all Aries moon on your a$$!!!!.. LOL... Needless to say, even with some of our "soul mate" indicators - he was not the one.. THANK GOD... and as far as Karmic debt - I believe I have paid in full.. and will not have to worry about that toad, I mean debt, popping up in my life again With my husband? I just knew he was the one -no if, ands or buts.... I didn't have to do our charts and didn't even look at them until we both knew how we felt. You know when you are meant for eachother because it just happens and the path is great- an astrology or psychic can't be more accurate than your heart- if you just trust your heart to make the right decision and not one based on the NEED for a relationship. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 170
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 24, 2006 11:56 PM
To clear things up, the three guys weren't Non-Spiritual, "Facts Only" men. They were just the opposite.The first one claimed to have psychic ability himself, had visited the same palm reader, and was the one to suggest the girl try a reading. Guy number two claimed to be "open minded" and interested in spirituality. Guy number three took metaphysical classes on topics like crystals, energy work, and homeopathic medicine, just to name a few. He even holds certifications in such things. It seems so harmless, flippantly relating what some reader said, or what your charts look like together, as an off-the-cuff remark, not even saying you believe in it 100% ...it's nothing more than an interesting bit of trivia to you, but like pidua said, the other person may take it seriously and "creep out."
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Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 1682
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted July 25, 2006 10:26 AM
Yes I indeed believe in letting ppl figure things out on their own. I have learned this the hard way, but it works so much better in my life..SILENCE can be GOLDEN sometimes.. IP: Logged |
mysticaldream
Knowflake Posts: 770
From:
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 25, 2006 10:42 PM
I agree, BerrySweet! For one thing, the guy might feel like you were trying to manipulate him. (and he might be right)
It would be better to keep it to yourself and see how things progress rather than trying to illicit a response he may not be ready to make....... just my opinion.
On a lighter note, it reminds me of the movie How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days! Remember how she makes up this "scrapbook" with their future children (who look like imbecils)? and cries when he doesn't want to look at it? LOL........IP: Logged |
Venus De Milo
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 26, 2006 02:18 AM
You know, I'm thinking about it now and I never did tell him he was my soulmate according to astrology...We just sat together and dissected his chart and then I read some of the synastry aspects we had together... you know... the basics... like the Venus/Mars sextile... and we spent the better part of an evening clicking on the composite chart on astro.com... But I never ever told him about his Sun/Moon midpoint and how my Venus/Neptune conjunction falls right on it. I never told him about how his Venus was conjunct both my DC and Vertex. Or all the other planets we have on each others angles. God I hate him. Why is he doing this to me. I just don't get it!!! I wish I did tell him. I think it might have helped him realize what his fear and general jacka$sery was throwing away. But at this point, I'm too humiliated to try anymore. I can't take anymore stony silence. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 170
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 26, 2006 04:44 AM
mysticaldream - I've never seen How to Lose a Guy In Ten Days, but I think I might rent it now. It was just brought up on another board too. quote:
Venus De Milo : We just sat together and dissected his chart and then I read some of the synastry aspects we had together...
OMG. No wonder he "creeped out." Telling him any more would just make him run faster. Sounds like this warning came a little too late for you. Next time, don't do that. IP: Logged |
Venus De Milo
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 26, 2006 01:55 PM
Uuummmm... Berrysweet, that was 2 years ago. Both of us are very aware of the connection we have, with or without astrology. We stopped speaking during this current retrograde. And for the record he was fascinated by it, not creeped out at all. IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 1682
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted July 26, 2006 02:14 PM
Venus De milo: (((((HUGS TO YOU)))) Whats meant to be will be hon..
Wait out this retro and see where things
go..Don't be upset... IP: Logged |
Venus De Milo
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 27, 2006 12:39 PM
Thanks Mama Mia I'm not hurting anymore. I wrote him an email at the beginning of the retrograde, telling him I am not ready for a big relationship, so please don't think I'm trying to twist your arm and force you into one with me... and i asked him to open up and be honest with me about a few things that happened and things he said... And he just ignored it. I think he's really selfish and just takes me and my feelings for granted. He knows very well how much I adored him, and I have never had a nasty tone with him before, EVER. So he thinks when he's done freaking out over how quickly things got "real", he thinks he's just gonna pop back into my life... Not gonna happen. I am so offended that he ignored my email, I cried every day for the first week that he didn't reply. But now I'm just angry about it. How could you do that to someone you supposedly love? He told me he loved me the week before. Then he ignores me for a month. He's just too much hard work and more than that... heartache. I can't do it anymore. IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 1682
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted July 27, 2006 12:48 PM
So Sorry that is pretty dirty though..I remember going through that one time with this Virgo guy that I now have a 7 year old with, infact he did that to me twice. Once before we had the baby and once after. He had alot of issues and did not know how to tell me about them. And yes there was some realness to our relationship that freaked him out. Push forward now I totally understand where you are coming from, I promise you he will be back for something. Some people need closure some people don't personally I want closure I don't want to leave any doors open .. It gets GREATER LATER!!!! IP: Logged |
Venus De Milo
Knowflake Posts: 306
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 27, 2006 01:17 PM
It's funny you say that... this is also the second time he's done this to me. The first time he did it, I was separated from my husband and we spent 4 months together and we were talking about marriage and acting like we found that person and we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.Then he ignored me for a month. After that month, I had to travel and things were ambiguous between us and we never got a chance to resolve things... and of course... I thought he just didn't feel the same. I thought the month of ignoring me was his way of backing out of everything... So eventually, I reconciled with my husband instead of finalizing the divorce. He has never stopped telling how he has never met anyone like me, he has never even come close to telling another woman he loves her and he's spent the last two years telling me he will regret what happened with us for the rest of his life... and at the end of June, he told me he loved me. Now he just did the same thing again. just cut me off when things got too much for him. He has a lot of issues with intimacy and a hell of a lot of growing up to do. I don't think I can stick it out and deal with everything i would have to deal with to be with this man. It's too painful and rejecting... Too much disappointment I'm with you Mama Mia... I NEED CLOSURE. I only don't need closure when I don't care... What hurts the most is whether you want to be with me or not, i at least thought he cared deeply about me as a FRIEND... and a friend would have answered my email. Even if it was just a couple of lines to say he is overwhelmed and needs some time to him self and space to think about things, I would have totally understood. I felt overwhelmed too. I'm an Aquarian... the friend thing is a huge rebuff to me. I can handle him not wanting to be with me, but being disrespected as a friend and showing me you don't care about my feelings or friendship is the biggest kick in the teeth for me IP: Logged |
CapGirl
Knowflake Posts: 369
From: Indianapolis, IN, USA
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 27, 2006 01:34 PM
Venus~~ I have been through this same thing just recently-- you may recall me posting about it around here. Gave this Cap. guy a love letter, pretty much, and it didn't really require a response as I wasn't asking him to tell me anything but I told if he didn't feel the same or want a relationship to not contact me or respond. Almost 4 months went by, and I get an email from him last week, saying "sorry for the delay in getting back..." and stuff about being busy and alot on his plate. And he had also done this last year, 3 months MIA, when I did press him about what he was looking for. I don't think he's meaning to reject you or hurt you. These guys have issues-fears of the intimacy- and are so wrapped up in their own fear and maintaining distance, that they are incapable of communicating and thinking of the other person at that time when they're "running". It's not you, it's HIM. Just remember that. I'm sure what he told you is true- that he loves you-but their fear takes over and all they care about is getting distance and space when that happens. It is frustrating and will erode your self-esteem and it's hard not to let it. I don't know that it's worth the time and effort to stick it through hoping that they will face their issues and be able to commit... I've known this guy almost 2 years and don't see him changing.
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Lindaland
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