posted April 23, 2007 12:44 PM         

I just found out he's gotten back together with his long-distance ex-girlfriend. He knows I'm available, and I think he knows I'm interested (although, he might not.)

I feel so terrible. This is the first time I've had these kind of unrequited feelings...usually, when I feel an intense attraction to a guy, he feels it back and goes for it.

I know that this guy's lack of wanting me back doesn't necessarily say anything about me at all...that I'm not pretty anymore, or that I've lost my appeal, or whatever...but it DOES make me doubt myself. I'm usually in touch with my feelings and wouldn't just make something up. It hurts that I could be this into this guy and he doesn't think of me that way, at all!! Like I'm invisible. (Hard for a Leo.)

I'm thinking of telling him how I feel just so I can really move on...otherwise I'll obsess about it for my whole life and think maybe he WAS into me, and didn't go for it because he was unsure of my feelings, or something.

But I'm in so much intense pain. A big part of me truly, truly, truly believed that the Scorpio and I would be kissing and getting to know each other and eating desserts together (if Scorpio men eat desserts)...and usually when I feel something so strongly, or even want something that much, it goes my way.

I'm torn between asking all of you wonderful Knowflakes how you've moved on from unrequited love, and how to seduce a Scorpio man. I feel so stupid...like, him getting another girlfriend when he and I were both FINALLY songle and available--why isn't that enough for me? Do I really need him to TELL me, "I just don't want you."?? But I think maybe I do need that, because I can't believe it, I want so much for it not to be true.

I have a bunch of square Venus transits happening...the sun square my natal Venus, Venus square my natal Mars and Jupiter...maybe there's something in my chart that would help explain? (8/14/74; Cleveland Ohio, 5:50pm)

posted April 23, 2007 06:19 PM         

i just had a thing for an aqua/aries/virgo...and believe me...took 5 to 6 months to finally END it. but then, it needs to end nicely for you so there are no hard feelings left...
so i think you're right to tell him how you feel.
hope it works out.

posted April 23, 2007 08:44 PM         

I recently contacted a Scorpio that I was madly in love with over two years ago because I never stopped thinking about him, and I knew that he had no way of contacting me.

I'm kind of wishing now though that I had just well enough alone, because it seems that he wants to pick back up where we left off at (a sexual relationship), whereas I would just like to hit the reset button and start all over again.

With that being said, whether you seek closure on the situation with this Scorpio or not, please be careful not to digress into a sexual relationship at this point and time with this man... If so, you'll really have a hard time letting go.

(PS. Most Scorps don't seem to do too well in long distance relationships... They are much too suspicious and way too hands on for that crap!)

------------------
Tanae'

posted April 23, 2007 09:25 PM         

If he didn't fall madly in love with me after that, I think I'd be okay. I haven't slept with a man other than my ex in twelve years. I wanted the first time to be with the Scorpio.

ALL the astrology books, and my friends, say it's EASY to get a Scorpio to sleep with you. But, this one stays far away from me physically at all times (even though he likes me as a friend, and he's given me cagey group invitations, and the cute nickname, etc)...he never touches me!

I'm not usually the kind of woman men only "like as a friend" or don't want to touch. I've pulled out ALL THE STOPS trying to attract this guy, and I don't even understand why it hasn't worked. And then, after all that, he gets back together with a long-distance ex...who he's split up with many times before.

While he was single, why didn't he want to touch me?

I know I sound all arrogant and Leonine, but this is the only guy in my whole life who hasn't reciprocated my attraction. And, lots of guys I'm NOT into are attracted to me.

I've also never gone for a man who was in another relationship...and this man was single and I was intensely, intensely attracted to him and he didn't go for me. And now he's with someone else.

posted April 24, 2007 01:22 AM         

quote:

---

feel so terrible. This is the first time I've had these kind of unrequited feelings...usually, when I feel an intense attraction to a guy, he feels it back and goes for it.

I know that this guy's lack of wanting me back doesn't necessarily say anything about me at all...that I'm not pretty anymore, or that I've lost my appeal, or whatever...but it DOES make me doubt myself. I'm usually in touch with my feelings and wouldn't just make something up. It hurts that I could be this into this guy and he doesn't think of me that way, at all!! Like I'm invisible. (Hard for a Leo.)

---

posted April 24, 2007 07:36 AM         

The fact you say that you don't care if he doesn't fall in love with you after that, indicates that he is prey for the Lioness rather than anything more.

As a Scorpio he'll be two steps ahead of you on that.

posted April 24, 2007 11:44 AM         

I think part of what's hard for me to face is that I think he might not have known I was interested and available. All my exes--guys I thought I was REALLY obvious with--said when they first met me that were intimidated, had no idea was interested, and didn't think I would go for them. But...each of them did go for me eventually, so they can't have been THAT intimidated.

And none of them were Scorps...based on what you say, let ther b light, a Scorpio WOULD know I was into him without me saying so. So, he just doesn't want me, and I have to face it.

posted April 24, 2007 12:04 PM         

It's that I would be OKAY with "just" having sex with him if that's what he wanted...ideally, I'd love to spend lots of time with him, get to know each other and see what's between us. Like I said before, "If he didn't fall madly in love with me after that, I think I'd be okay." I'd rather have SOMETHING with this guy than nothing.

posted April 24, 2007 02:14 PM         

I adore Leos for the most part, but if there's any one thing that irks me the most about them, it's their need to relate sex with power, self-esteem, and adoration. You said that you would like to spend time with him, but if all you got was sex, you'd be fine with that. That is generally NOT fine for a Scorpio, or, if it is, they will treat you like garbage after the fact and not give a damn about you. For Scorpio, sex is a complete merger - mind, body, and soul.

Perhaps it's my own watery moon, but I've never found Scorpio's difficult to read at all. It's not difficult for me to tell whether or not they're interested, but one sure fire way to turn them off is to play games, act coy, or give them ANY reason to think that you might be dishonest or untrustworthy. That will make them turn cold faster than a nun in a who*e house.

Mystery and intrigue turn them on. Shoot from the hip, but never reveal too much, and ALWAYS look them in the eye.

posted April 24, 2007 04:45 PM         

So now the question that begs to be asked is... WHERE IS THE CHALLENGE??? And I'm not suggesting that you now start playing games in an effort to become more challenging.

What I'm simply saying is that in my opinion, the outright, some-what aggressive, and very flirtatious behavior may have emasculated him... I mean, you really haven't left him much to do. Except of course to take you up on your sexual offerings, and for a MAN, Scorpio or not, it's like declaring him a winner in a game that he didn't even participate in.

Not very many men want to be handed a victory that they haven't earned, and for the ones who do, they hardly ever come to truly appreciate the prize (You).

Best of Luck...

posted April 24, 2007 07:19 PM         

CrankyCap, this is SOO insightful about me. I dislike it in myself.

The fact is that I really do like and care about this guy...that's how all this started! But my stupid fragile inflated ego has gotten all mucked up in things. First it was just, when I was around him I was happy, and he's a really brilliant, sweet person who matters, who's worth getting to know. I had these honest, pure feelings...and then, I think his not going for it and being with someone else instead has thrown me into typical defensive patterns...arrogance and wounded pride and wanting him to want me...when my initial feelings for him were just, Yay!! It's HIM!

Tanae, I've never thrown myself at him...when I say "pulling out all the stops", I mean showing up at parties he's at in a discreetly sexy all-black outfit with a group of famous people and giving him a half-smile across the room...typical Leo stuff...not overt flirtation. Without exception, every guy I've been with has said they found me hard-to-get and a challenge...and, I don't play hard-to-get, I AM hard-to-get. I've asked a few friends and my ex about this and all of them have been willing to bet a lot that this guy has no idea I'm interested in him. (But, based on what people here and in books say about Scorpios, they can easily tell when someone is interested...) Once when we were having a drink in a group he mentioned noticing that men act "pathetic" and turn into "desperate teenagers" around me.

CapGirl, he invited me to a performance of his next week. I might try to talk to him then.

That's another thing...he keeps seeking me out and inviting me places, or spending time with me at group events, and he's normally pretty introverted. So that's hard...I think he really does like and respect me as a friend. He certainly acts like it. And I take a guy wanting to be "just" my friend as a huge ego blow. Which--hopefully I can get over it. Because I've never met anyone else like him. (He has told me he thinks I'm amazingly talented, so maybe that's what the whole wanting to be friends thing is about for him, partly.)

posted May 16, 2007 11:19 PM         

You are deluding yourself. You believe that once he has you, he will be hooked. . .and not ever want to let you go. You are very turned on by him because he's being a challenge to you. It's only natural.

I say this with respect, not to knock you. It's easy to become entranced by them. The risk you are taking is that he may take your words at face value, give you the sex you want, and walk. He may then make you invisible, and you will want "just one more time". . . something he's not prepared to give, nor ever promised you (and he WILL remind you of that).

Believe me, been there, done that. It was when transiting Nep SQ my natal venus, and it (my obsession with the scorpio man) lasted nearly 4 years. Torture. He'd sneak into my world for 12 hours (one overnight) a YEAR to get SEX, disappear, make me invisible, (put me through hell), then laugh at me from a distance, and say--in emails, to retaliate, "you moth/me flame". . .

And, as this transit eased up on me, and I came back to my senses, I had the epiphany that usually comes at the end of this transit: "what in the hell was I thinking?"

I feel for you. I know, it's intense, and it sux. But if you think it's bad now, wait til after you sleep with him--and you never hear from him again. That's the kiss of death. The sad thing is: he may decide to sleep with you AFTER (that is, if) he decides you are NOT for him!

You wrote: "Once when we were having a drink in a group he mentioned noticing that men act "pathetic" and turn into "desperate teenagers" around me."

He is totally sizing you up. Scorpios are VERY self-protective, and would not hand their heart over to the social butterfly. It's my hunch that he may have a jealous scorpio heart, and wants to put himself in these social situations to see:
1. How his heart responds, and if he could HANDLE having such a beautiful companion
2. How YOU respond to the men in the environment, and whether you would humiliate him by flirting with other men, or by just being "too" social--a total turn off for these men.

They are possessive, you know--and when you are in a crowd with them, it must be known that you are THEIRS and THEIRS only (that is, if you are at these functions on an actual DATE). You have to live up to expectations that are unlivable to many, with scorpio men.

posted May 17, 2007 01:17 PM         

Yep I have experience this and that is why I kinda of stand back from them and I am a Pisces woman. However they are all not the same, but for myself I don't click with Scorp men..But

posted May 17, 2007 07:02 PM         

it can be heaven or hell. But we back off (Most of the time) when we need to, and we do okay. There's alot of love there.

posted May 20, 2007 11:39 PM         

I attract many and it always starts out the same. They practically pounce on me like a predator would.

posted May 23, 2007 09:37 PM         

The Leo Ego part: this is the first man I've ever wanted who didn't easily, immediately want me. So I see everyone's "wanting what you can't have" theory in this. And that's why the reverse-psychology thing won't work--because, I don't have the OPTION of sleeping with him or not. As Taurean-Scorpion said, "i think if he wanted to touch you he would've done exactly that"--and that blows my mind. I keep thinking he really, secretly, intensely wants me, and that, based on my own intensity of feeling for him, he's not going for it because he doesn't want to lose control. It's hard for me to face that that isn't true...but based on people's wisdom re: Scorpios, if he wanted me he would've gone for me.

The other part: I got to know this guy while working with underpriveleged kids, who adore him. I think I see him through their eyes. He's brilliant and very funny. It's rare and wonderful for me to meet someone who inspires me intellectually. He gets my sense of humor, which is rare, and he understands my work without being threatened by it, which is really rare. And he's genuinely talented, which is indescribably rare...if I knew just his work, I might a little bit love him from that. There are small moments with him when I know there's nowhere I'd rather be than right there. I love how he sounds and how he moves and how he doesn't waste words, and how he looks at me, and his hands. It's hard to describe how I feel when it's just me and him, sitting somewhere, or when he smiles at me, or when I catch him looking at me across the room.

Yes, if I met someone else I felt this way about who wanted me back, it would definitely be "Scorpio man who?" But it's so rare that I feel this way about somebody...it's happened to me twice. Yes, I want to be happy. And this is hurting me. But I'm not sure how to move on.

Astrid, I don't think you're being hard on me or that this guy is a "slow cooker"--he hooked up with his ex and she's moving here. He's not a cheater, so he's basically closing and locking the door on ever hooking up with me. There's still the possibility he doesn't know I'm interested, but if HE was interested, wouldn't he try to find out before moving on?

posted May 25, 2007 02:56 PM         

So, I think a big part of my feeling for Scorpio--if there's a lesson in it--is just that I CAN feel that way about anything in life. And I wish I felt that way about my whole life--that excited, that in love.