posted November 03, 2007 07:33 AM         

Iam back again after a while and it seems like i will always reach out for you ultimately....

Iam bumping up this thread again because things have happened after that.Funny things which i need you to analyse.....i would be grateful if you could....

This man in question that the whole thread was about has been resurfacing in my life time and again since we met.....

Its now going on 2 and half years and it hasnt yet ended.Iam at my wits end.The last i posted abt this was in May.The story from thereon has been very uncanny.....pls do go through it and give me your insight.

Indeed he never contacted me after our showdown.I was almost over him.June 9 was the day of the confrontation.I got over it and there came another man in my life around June end.Around July last week HE called me up again.....

I did not take his call or return it....

I thereafter went full swing with this other person who was very nice to me.He called 3 times a day and just couldnt get enough of me.Only thing was we hadnt seen each other yet and i wld see him in september.He was a Aries.

Again in August mid week i get a message from HIM (scorp moon)asking me how i was and what plans i had for the day.I was angry, confused and irritated.Had he not even understood that i had walked out on him??????Why was he contacting me after this long and so casually???I didnt reply back again....

Come september and aries came to visit me.We met on september 8 and everything was beautiful however the next day for some inexpliacble reason he dissapeared.....just dissapeared without any explanations at all!!And he had promised to marry me......I was thoroughly heart broken and crushed and so.....

On sept 10th i wished my scorpio moon on his birthday.I dont know why.Maybe cos i needed some support.....Just wishing u happy bday and have a great day.

He eplied back saying:

"Thanks a ton....long time no news....ure not taking my calls...u are upset with me about something?I know i did not respond to your perspective as i would like to..."

I was surprised.....and wrote back

"Well, i would like to know that response.Since i have considered you a close friend i was surprised that you had no comments abt my perspective.Do let me know...."

And since that day till today i have had NO response again....

Knowflakes what does this mean????Iam at my wits end thinking. Over the couple of years i have known him i have moved on body mind and soul to other relashionships bcos this doesnt come to fruition but we get back together always.....somehow!!!!!

I feel that we have a connection and i know he cares.He's not a bad person but i dont understand his behaviour.

Meanwhile i visited some psychics to understand this situation.Tried the tarot and the answers have been stunning.....

Its a soulmate connection acc to those sources.A connection which will not end even if we do try and move on to others but it will be there somewhere.I dont much know if i shld beleive this but its scary.......

I dont know how many people have met with their soulmates but if u have iam sure u cld guide me.Iam not someone who calls every relashionship a soulmate but for the first time........i think i might have stumbled across it.

We look, speak, like each other.Theres a funny look of similarity with us.Our charts have so many links.I have a virgo moon and he's a virgo.We have a similar way of reacting.Its really like being with someone who is in sync with u and like u.

BUT

You cant meet for whatever reasons and its so painful.....

Someone pls help me and show me a practical way of being maybe????

Thanks

Sarah

posted November 05, 2007 11:33 PM         

Delhi to aa ke chali bhi gayee!Joined a new job and all and SO MUCH has happened in my life since then that i have hardly ventured to talk to anyone.

How are you?Whats up?Busy busy busy?

Yes pls pls HELP!Seriously iam upto my head in this tangle....what does this guy want from me?Everytime i move on he pulls me back...?weirdddd.....

Chalo, u touch base when u are free.Great hearing frm u dost!

posted November 06, 2007 01:24 PM         

I'm a Virgo woman with an Aries moon and have been in a similar situation with an Aries man.

You and I don't share a similar culture, but our expectations are similar. I am only interested in spending time with a man if there is some future for it. Not just a way to pass time. My time, emotions, and what I have to offer are much too valuable for that.

The Aries guy and I met in High School and have been in and out of each others' lives for over 15 years! It's been torture for me, because like your situation, I keep feeling that he's only playing games while I wanted to share more with him.

We're currently in an "off" period. During our brief "on" periods, he'll say how much he loves me and how important I am to him and how he wants me in his life always, how he believes that what we share is from "The Most High" but his actions don't show it. He will alternate saying these things with saying that we don't have anything to base a "real" relationship on and that he's never even thought about it! Like your Scorpio moon friend, he would go for periods of time not in contact then call up and want to get together like it's nothing! I feel that even if we have potential to do and be so much more, he puts road blocks in front of our progress by distancing himself.

I've also felt the "soulmate" feeling with him as I've felt with no other. I've been treated better and worse by others, I've also met men who may be a "better" match for me, but the feelings I may have had for them don't touch my soul as my feelings for him do.

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer by way of answers or hope.

I'm still in this situation contemplating what I should do as well. He still calls and leaves messages for me -that I ignore because I don't feel his actions will be any different. He likes to act as though he cares and calls us "friends" but where is my "friend" when **I** would like to talk with him or see him? Where is our "friendship" when he knows my feelings but continues to alternate between saying he wants more with me and denying he ever thought about it???

I'm going to keep reading your thread.
Maybe I'll get some tips on my own situation as your's evolves.
I'm wishing all the best for you!

Edited to add: Like your Scorpio moon friend, I will walk away from the Aries guy and want nothing to do with him. Not even dramatic about it, I will wish him the best and mean it, but don't want anything to do with him since he breaks my heart.

BUT he will continue to call me.
It may be after a few weeks or a month or more. I'll be thinking and hoping that he finally is gone and I can move on with my feelings but then he'll call and wake everything back up. My love and my anger. I have to fight the urge to pick up the phone. Both out of love -wanting to talk with him and see him again, and out of anger- wanting to curse him out for continually putting me through this!

I've managed NOT to answer the phone, but I really don't know what to do as this situation isn't resolved even with me ignoring him/it. But I'm not the one holding up the resolution.

posted November 06, 2007 11:38 PM         

Iam so glad you posted....really!At least i now know iam not the only one involved in this freaky relashionship...!!!

Your story sounds very much like mine except for the little fact that he has never really confessed as such that he thinks its love or friendship or ...whatever....And i know it would be very tough for you to move on when someone has really said its love...

Oh well, i just hope this 'Off' period of ours remains off forever now.Bcos much as i hate to admit i have never had such strong feelings for many men.But i feel that these strong feelings could be because we know the person is unattainable and thats why its such a pleasure to chase them....am i right?

Whereas a man who is available is always not so interesting cos he is around.What can i say.I have had feelings for an available person as well and it didnt work out so maybe i shld be back to mr.unavailable?

I did feel talking to a few psychics online helped me bcos they did see the other side.For scorp moon its a past hurt and emotional baggage that keeps him frm sustaining a relashionship with me....they say.

However i feel true love's power is so re generating that it should pull a person out of any past hurt etc.So meaning that these people dont really care....

BUT its so different whe u are with them and u can fel that care....

I know of 2 tangetical stories like these with conclusions.I duno if it wld help but here goes:

- A freind of mine was seeing this guy for 5 years and again it was off and on.One fine day he proposed and told his parents, they got engaged and as soon as the parents met something happened and he stopped responding to her calls.The engagement was ended by the parents and she never got a reply frm him as to what really happenned?????!!!!He got married subsequently 3 months later.......

- Another friend of mine was seeing this guy for 7 years and she told him how she felt.He said he couldnt commit due to cultural and family issues and that she could have a pick of whether she still wanted him or not.She said she did and they were paralelly looking out for other people.7 years later he asked his parents if it was ok to marry her....they said yes and they are now married and very very happy.....

So i dont know.I just dont want this guy back again and hope that theres a better person out there who cares for you more.

However this said, do any guys out there have any idea what it is with these kinda people?I think they are just not sure and the moment they find the right girl they would propose immediately and you who were a conveneient option would be out of their lives bcos they dont need u.

Rupesh my friend....is your report finished....! haha!

Regards
Sarah

posted November 07, 2007 01:14 PM         

ok coming back to the situation , i dont think anyone would be able to give YOU a satisfying answer !

(i know we cancers can be completly tactless for the kind piscean soul ! )

we will not go into the arian story .
as for your virgo - well i dont know you , i dont know him but what i think could be one of the reasons for how he acts is ( , this all based on the condition -if he is really into you and this is something that only you can tell ) he is extra cautious with you . extra cautious also means extra careful - does he have major cancer placements (we cancers do sometiome act this way .)

so the only thought that comes to my mind is his overt caring nature , thats why he is always skeptical if might in any way be disturbing to you and may be he is not sure of your emotions and to hide it all he acts extra cool and normal !

as far as i remember i said the same things last time too .

posted November 07, 2007 11:40 PM         

hmmmm.....samajh nahi aaya...!!!!i think abhi tumhari report nahi tayyar hui hai!

Anyways jokes apart, i dont know abt him being extra cautious abt us to the point of showing indifference....!

1)Either he is simply playing with my emotions
2)OR he really is extremely undecided due to various reasons which he cannot disclose.

Point in fact is that what should i do abt this????i.e if i can do something.Right now we arent in touch for the past 2 months and frankly everyones told me to move on.I will. However, i hope it doesnt come back again.And i hope i get a resolution.

posted November 08, 2007 05:33 AM         

I was just thinking abt our situation and what really makes sense logically to me is what iam putting down.

I think that we are just stuck in an issue of self worth.Maybe a soul lesson to learn.I think we know deep inside that these men are not worthy of us. I think the day we fully realise and ACCEPT this fact we will be able to move on......

No matter how many times they come back again it would not matter.And somewhere there is that funny 'ego' thing which tells us to keep at it cos how can someone treat you like this?There must be something more surely.....

I think what i must do is really really see that he isnt worth this torture and he isnt worth me and read the book "He's just not that into you"and truly move on.No matter how many times he gets back.

What do you say?

posted November 09, 2007 02:43 AM         

well , the best way to deal with him is just go with the flow . you like him as a person and friend , right!

but in the meantime if someone else comes into your life , that would be a big confusion , right !

so there is no full proof way to it . if you think he is your soulmate . you gotta take the risk .
next time when you have talk with him , ask staright questions, plz!

dekho , all the woman say they are pretty staright but the fact is we dont understand your language . so be staright the way you think a man would be . thats the only way .

i hope i am not as confusing as i was in the first post .

posted November 09, 2007 10:18 AM         

But what could it be frm the guys side is what iam concerned abt since i think ive made it v clear what i was looking at....or have i???errrr...

posted November 09, 2007 11:32 PM         

woh , mai tumahara question samjha nahi .

posted November 10, 2007 11:04 AM         

I've been reading this thread with great interest because I've been in a similar situation three times in my life. Well, here's the big confession: I'm 40 and it's happened 3 times, even as recently as the year 2000, as long ago as when I was 14.

There are a few things I want to tell you that I've learned.

1. CLARITY IS POWER! Always remember that. If after 2 years of friendship and several months of confused relating you and he hasn't given you the general clarity of his feelings or situation, then you're doing the right thing by letting him go. What you're witnessing is the tip of the iceburg with him. If you were to finally get together with him and get married, what other subjects in your lives will he evade?

2. COMMUNICATION! If a couple can't communicate clearly with one another, then nothing else works. I think you're witnessing and experiencing that right now.

3. Women learn about and practice at relationships almost from the time we can speak. We learn to dream about the wedding day, we pretend to be brides, we play with dolls training ourselves to nurture children, we talk with our girlfriends about boys and how they treat us. Men don't do this and when it's finally up in their faces they are really winging it. Unless their parents are guiding them or other friends, they are in the tall grass about relationships. But they'll NEVER show you that if they can help it.

As I've been reading the conversation you had with him on the phone in May or June (I can't remember) I noticed he would pause when ever you wanted to pin him down to a specific point. It was as if he didn't want to believe you were really asking him these straight forward questions. It was as if you were speaking a different language to him. I understood what you meant, many other's here understood what you meant, and although I didn't think any of those questions were putting him on the spot in any way, he obviously was being asked to give clarity about something he may have never expected to deal with.

This sounds strange to me as most men I know could handle questions like that. As a matter of fact it usually doesn't even have to get to that point, and I think you've been saying that as well. Most people usually let you know their agenda as far as attraction right up front. (I'm generalizing). That's why their is so much frustration with this.

Even if he is a soulmate, and two of mine were definitely soulmates, if he can't let you know what he wants or even what he's thinking about in terms of relationships, then you are doing the right thing in letting him go and moving on.

I would say, "I need you to CLEARLY COMMUNICATE your intentions with our relationship/friendship." If it's not clear to you after he explains or tries to explain, tell him to clarify it, you be a broken record about it. If he can't give you clarity, then you may discover that you successfully avoided a car wreck of a relationship.

Scorpio Moons can be passionate, but their feelings run very deep and sometimes they keep them hidden incredibly deep under swamp, deep in the ocean, there is an isolation factor for protection. But if he wants to be with you, he has to at least surface enough so you can see his eyeballs peeking out.

I hope I've been helpful, it's hard when you feel another person eminating love and attraction at you, but they are not speaking the words, and you've already right expressed that you need that clarity, it's time for him to give it to you.

Good Luck Sarah9, I hope he can step up to the communication plate.

Geocosmic Valentine

PS: I'd love to see the synastry chart, have you posted both of your birthdates and places of birth here? If you haven't, would you do it? I'd like to see what Neptune looks like in relation to both of your Mercury's. It's alright if you don't want to do it.

------------------
"Everybody is a star!"

posted November 10, 2007 12:39 PM         

I've tried to respond on **3** separate occasions but every time I pressed "submit" all I got was a blank page!

I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Will try to address your posts as best I can.

I'm not into unavailable men. That's a complete turn off to me as I love deep, emotional relationships. Not just back and forth games that either need to be "won" or can never be resolved.

Your stories of your friends were very interesting. The first one is my worst nightmare - to give my all and feel love & connection with someone while all along they're only "passing time" with me. Then for them to just walk away like there was nothing between us and marry someone else when they knew how I felt?!?! (and people always know how I feel because I tell them & show them no matter how embarassing it could be)

"I think what i must do is really really see that he isnt worth this torture and he isnt worth me and read the book "He's just not that into you"and truly move on.No matter how many times he gets back."

I've probably been there more times than I can count. However, I always come back to the realization that we're all broken or imperfect in some way. So who am I to say that he is the one so messed up that we couldn't work something out? Perhaps we have a hard time communicating? Maybe direct communication is hard for him and he works better with indirect communication? There are many men who are still functioning on a 2nd grade level and thing that it's "weak" to show a woman how you really feel. So these men will treat someone they care for the most, worse than anyone else. Now this might make someone less desirable for an "adult" mature relationship, but I can't judge them for it. As there are plenty of things wrong with me too.....

Also, I've read that book and while it's very good at saying that if a man is "into you" he will show it. Period. No excuses. It doesn't take into account that there are situations and people who are damaged and may not function "normally" so won't do that. They also disregard the fact that you can love someone who is damaged and that there are times when it works but it would take much more work than being with someone who is healthy and already ready for a relationship.

I agree with much of what Geocosmic Valentine except for the time limit. People don't always grow and mature at a comfortable rate for us. That doesn't mean that you should sit around and wait indefinitely for some growth or maturity that may never take place, but it might not happen in that 2 year limit. It could be 2 and 1/2, or it could be 5. What I've done with this man that feels like a soulmate if not a Twin soul, is to try things with him, when they aren't working out, I walk away and live my life. At some later point in life(maybe months, sometimes years later) we end up back in contact and we inevitably try again. If it doesn't work, I see where we're at and go off on my own again and hope that I can just be happy where ever I'm at, or that if we both can grow sufficiently to be together, then we will be.

Finally, this dilemma is what goes through my head almost daily when I think about him:

"1)Either he is simply playing with my emotions
2)OR he really is extremely undecided due to various reasons which he cannot disclose."

And there is the main dilemma.
How do you know?

Unfortunately, it is not always through actions in the way that you would think.

Ex: A Scorpio ex of mine was horrible to me, lied to me, cheated on me, then when I left, he stalked me and would alternate between trying to get me back and being cruel. Years later I learned that he behaved this way because he fell in love with me very deeply and (initially) wanted me to leave him early on before he got too attached. Once I had left him, he was distraught because he already loved me and was attached, so he stalked me and would try to get me back when he felt brave, or would try to hurt me when he was scared and felt vulnerable for loving me so much.

Now this isn't healthy and I would never consider going through that ever again. But people can't always show love in healthy ways. Now he's married and *much* more calm, but I've learned that he feels much less for the woman he's married to. But that is more comfortable and safe for him so he has no need to act that way with her.

Anyway, good luck again with all of this.

posted November 11, 2007 03:58 AM         

I think this guy has serious issues. He doesn't seem to be interested in committing himself to you. He is just passing time until he can make his mind up.

Go find your future husband and forget this guy. He has dangled you from a string for 2 years and its because you don't put down boundaries. You have to decide what you want and if you want to spend several years waiting for this guy to figure out his intentions, then do so but I think its best for your heart to move on. I have 2 Scorpio moon exes and both were messed up in the head. They easily take advantage of others. It was extreme torture dealing with them.

posted November 11, 2007 11:58 PM         

Rupesh, what i meant was can u figure out what the man in question is all about????as in like everyone comes to the conclusion that this isnt even a good FRIEND bcos friends dont behave like that....!then what is it frm the guys side do u think?

Well i got some crackers for 'shagun'. But not many.Cool diwali.U tell me how was yours?

Mom is fine now thank God and iam in Hyd.So same ol place but different company.What abt u?

Hi Geocosmic,

And thanks for drilling that common sense into me...!!!I just need everyone to tell me that the guy is totally not worth it...!

I think when we are involved we want to hear something good but you are right....theres nothing here....its not even a relashionship...!Its stuck somewhere between a friend and beyond. The man is totally not in it...

- Yes he has been totally evasive abt anything to do with his feelings.However he has shared a lot abt his family, friends, ex flames, personal habits, fears phobias so i cant really say that communication is bad.Its jus that he wont talk anything to do with us or....feelings!Its so weird!

Iam sure he was startled when i asked him those pointed questions and i cant still understand WHY he wanted to contact me after that and why he said that he wanted to respond on my perspective and then....dissapear????I think he has some serious psychological issues bcos i dont think anyone behaves so abnormally.

This happened to me once before with him as well.He came on chat, asked me for my snaps, said he had missed me and lets talk everyday and then disspeared for 2 months....after which he called on my bday and said he was relocating to my city!I mean i seriously dont understand.

Plus the fact that he has been a thorough gentleman with me....as in hasnt been physcial/sexual in nature.Which is why i sometimes feel its just a good friendship but then if it is.....why cant he just tell me that?!!!!!

I think i will once again sigh and move on.Thanks for your insight Geocosmic!

Oh and yes i have posted abt our birthdates somewhere in this thread.Posting again:

Mine:

Sun Pisces 7° 38' in house 3
Moon Virgo 19° 33' in house 9
Mercury Aquarius 11° 49' in house 2
Venus Aries 4° 16' in house 3
Mars Capricorn 26° 44' in house 1
Jupiter Pisces 25° 14' in house 3
Saturn Cancer 12° 9' in house 7
Uranus Scorpio 2° 16' in house 10
Neptune Saggitarius 11° 43' in house 12
Pluto Libra 8° 41' in house 9
Ascendant Saggitarius 27° 22' in house 1
Medium Coeli Libra 11° 44' in house 10
North Node true Saggitarius 5°16'inhouse 12

His:

Sun Virgo 16° 56' in house 10
Moon Scorpio 18° 56' in house 12
Mercury Libra 13° 21' in house 10
Venus Leo 26° 38' in house 9
Mars Gemini 15° 6' in house 7
Jupiter Aries 23° 33' in house 5
Saturn Cancer 29° 19' in house 8
Uranus Scorpio 0° 6' in house 11
Neptune Saggitarius 9° 7' in house 12
Pluto Libra 8° 16' in house 10
Ascendant Saggitarius 12° 27' in house 1
Medium coeli Virgo 15° 17' in house 10
North node Scorpio 24° 12' in house 12

I know my birth time but not his but the above is the result.Pls do comment!

posted November 11, 2007 11:59 PM         

Those 2 choices that u outlined was what i come to a conclusion abt almost everytime i think abt the fellow and i frankly havent found an answer.Until he clears it himself, i think i will never know.

However, it is quite clearly seen that if u like a person you are so scared of losing them that you are always there to please them so when someone just doesnt bother the same way abt clearing things with you....the person doesnt really bother at all..!!!And thats what i think is the case here.

Well yes Good luck to us and just hoping i can vent my frustration out if and when he comes...!!! I think we are sitting at an edge when we just need to decide what to beleive and move on from there.This grey area is awful!

I hope it all works out for you as well aries-virgo and iam sure it will...!Here's to positive thinking and a destined good luck!

Sweetcappie,

You are so right....!Yes i have moved on before and i will now as well.I have never really waited for him as such....it just so happened that i have been single everytime he has come around so i end up accepting him back but this time round.....no ways!!!

I just want to give him a piece of my mind befor i do that however and hoping to god i get an opportunity!!!Just wish me luck!!!Am gonna lose the loser!