Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  what a $#@@$%%!!! (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   what a $#@@$%%!!!
sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 25, 2007 07:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Knowflakes,

Just thought i would visit the forum since iam in extreme need of spirit boosting!!!

I dont know if i ever mentioned about the virgo with scorpio moon....well he has turned out to be the worst specimen of humanity!!!

He has been seeing me for about 2 months now and knows me for 2 years and all he is doing is playing around with my feelings!He knows i like him so he is dating me but he has said not a concrete word about our relashionship....!!!and he keeps hinting to me about...MARRAIGE!

He doesnt stay in touch with me on mail, sms or phone....it is only when he is in town that he calls so we can meet...!!!As per his conevenience!!!I mean....how could i have been so blind!

Plus he is going around in the cover of being an 'inhibited guy' who cannot express himself to the lady he likes and how he has lost out in the past due to this...

Knowflakes pls tell me what to do....!!!!!!!

I was thinking of:

1. Just ignoring him and not meeting him when he calls.
2. Going out and telling him it wont be possible for us to meet anymore unless we justify the regularity of the meetings.

In all probablility he is just a player. But iam still leaving chance for a 10 percent doubt that maybe he is inhibited and that there are inter caste and racial issues here as he puts it...

Pls advise!!!!

Regards
Shaina

IP: Logged

InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1528
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted May 25, 2007 08:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Shaina,

so nice to see you back here ! (although the reason for u being back could have been better )

I would go for option 2, definitely.

Nothing like honesty. Leaves no room for doubt or regrets.

ILWL

IP: Logged

Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1110
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted May 25, 2007 08:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
Hi

Me to would go to the 2nd choice.

First,because by your side there´s deep feelings torwards him; so it´s worth to try

Second, because you never know what´s inside his heart and there´s the possibility of course the he´s shy to say his feelings or feels somewhat innibited by you or circunstances.

It´s way a lot better to say what´s in your heart and ask him directly what does he expects from what you 2 have or could have in the future.

Many times we just misunderstood the other just cause therés the communication lack;and then things could fall apart just cause one or both doesnt talk about the important issues that causes those misunderstandings ( i´ve already passed through that and believe me...i´ve learned my lesson)

Go ahead and luck for you 2

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 25, 2007 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks diandra and ILWL!!

Yes i too agree with you...option 2 is the best.Altho as far as deep feelings go, iam not having anything but anger in my heart right now so its already over from my side!

I mean imagine someone asking you out every weekend or even weekday sometimes, paying for you, watching movies with you etc etc....and not having the guts to tell u he likes you?

He has guts to take me out so how can he be inhibited...???

And then when i ask him why theres no contact on the weekday and that i never know where he is he says he 'isnt in the habit of chatting much on the phone'...!!What a weird reason!

Iam just wondering why he has to put on a pretense of seriousness when all he wants to do is flirt and date...!It just talks to me of a terribly mean and creepy mentality!

And the inhibition is just a cover...

What i think i need to do is that i need to ignore him a few times and if he stil pursues it i will definately act on option 2!

Wish me all the luck guys!

IP: Logged

Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1110
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted May 30, 2007 03:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
Good Luck!

IP: Logged

InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1528
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted May 30, 2007 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
Good luck Sarah !!

just peeking in to check if by any chance the hitherto frog might have turned into a prince (or at least a man who can utter those 3 magical words)

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 31, 2007 02:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Dear Knowflakes,

Thanks for the support and interest...

Well i have been ignoring him as planned for the past 2 -3 offers...which became very frequent.

However the recent development when i planned to drop the bomb ....he ditched me....as in we had a date for a movie and he didnt call or even SMS!!!!!!!!!!!

He has never done it before so i cant yet beleive how to take it....am a bit shocked!!!!!

But thats further strengthened my resolve that this guy just gotta go man.....!!!!!!

Just wish me strength and luck guys......!!!Am fighting a true blue SCORPION MOON here looks like!

Regards
Shaina

IP: Logged

Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1110
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted May 31, 2007 09:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Sarah

You did great by ignore him a few times..see how he rapidly started to frequently ask?
But he acted quite bad by detaching you!

Show him who´s the boss
The minimum we can ask for a guy is respect,right?

Keep your head straight.
If he is worth then he will apologize and act as a man;if not, it´s because he isnt worth it

IP: Logged

CapGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 442
From: Indianapolis, IN, USA
Registered: Mar 2006

posted May 31, 2007 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapGirl     Edit/Delete Message
He probably blew you off because you had ignored him. You're playing games... and now so is he. You playing games just creates more insecurity and doubt for both sides. It's silly child's play. Just have the talk and tell him what you think.

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 31, 2007 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Yes,

I did play games...wanted to see the reaction. I hate playing games as a rule actually...

Lets see, if any when he contacts me next its judgement day!

I cant beleive that he could be such a player though....had always thought of him as an extremely humane person.Someone whose into charity, deep talk and philosophy. We have had such deep conversations....

I cant beleive its petered down to this silly play.

But who takes a girl out regularily for 2 months and never says anything concrete abt us except hints abt marraige and that he has never been able to say it?

He is 32 yrs old!!!!!

Anyways, will update as and when it happens. But by the way he has behaved i wouldnt expect him to contact very soon and whatever might be might not be so very positive.

Bet best i ask and get it over with.....just HOPE HOPE that opportunity is presented to me.

Thanks for your support guys!Will keep u updated...

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 31, 2007 10:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
I just need to know...

Now after he ditched me the last time:

- Do i contact him and get the job done with?
- Do i wait for him to contact me?

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1110
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted May 31, 2007 11:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
The best person that know the right answer..is you

If you trully feel that he only did that cause you played those games and now he´s doig it too...then you can clearly contact him and say : hey you, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Cause im a woman who deserves a man that loves and appreciates me,and i need to know if you´re the one.

what about that?

But if you think i acted like that just by silly proud and childish than..wait

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 01, 2007 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Well i smsd him late evening as to whether he was in town...

SMSd back saying he was with a friend and that he had come down frm another city. And how was i?

I said i was gd.enjoy yrself. Gdnite.

And he hasnt called or smsd after that...

What would you say for such a reaction???

Gosh my heart hurts because we used to be such good friends but he is extremely inconsistent which is why these hassles.

Iam trying to dump the whole thing and move on but its becoming too tough...!!!!

It seriously HURTS LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 04, 2007 03:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
No word from him....

I think i should move on. At least i wish i knew what all this was....needed a resolution.

Anyways, but thats life. Wish me luck in getting over knowflakes. It just seems like the world crumbled around me...

IP: Logged

Diandra23
Knowflake

Posts: 1110
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted June 05, 2007 09:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diandra23     Edit/Delete Message
Sarah if he´s gone it means he didnt deserve you

Yes,move onto meeting another men,surely you´ll find someone who plays serious with you and who gives you the respect you deserve

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 05, 2007 12:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Diandra...!!

Although it will take a while before i can move on. It just hurts so badly...

Thanks for the support!

IP: Logged

Virgo-AriesArtist
Moderator

Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted June 11, 2007 08:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
Sarah...
Honestly, I had a very good friend who knew I had feelings for him and toyed with me for years til I made up my heart that I deserved better, at least in terms of a romantic relationship. You deserve better too, not an over-grown little boy who at 32 is still unable to make a mature statement to the woman he is spending time with, other than flippant jokes about a future that he won't step up to the plate for...

Ask the Universe for the type of man you want and who is worthy of you, and it will deliver him to your doorstep, I promise. Be specific about what you will and won't accept, and the right soul will come forth.
Best luck!
Just my two cents,

------------------
-K

"Sometimes, happiness can be a calm and quiet thing, a moment of rest upon the wind, that makes sunset less sad and haunting...and brightens the sunrise with a gentle promise" ~Linda Goodman

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 14, 2007 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Ok Guys...

I HAVE FOUND MY RESOLUTION!!!I wld like u to pls analyse and let me know what u think...it wld mean a LOT!

He called again the following thursday. I missed his call. Cld again after half an hr. Missed the call again and messaged him saying i was out with friends and wld get in late so cld i cl back tommorrow?

I didnt call the next day....

I called him on saturday at 5 pm and he says:
"Oh u were really busy huh?"
"Yeah, workplace was extremely busy..."
"Oh the workplace?I thought maybe something personal came up?I tht u got engaged to a guy and were on the brink of marraige..."
"ermm....no nothing like that"
"btw...have u seen any guys recently from a marraige perspective?"
"ermm...no.."
"I mean i know the one u were almost engaged to last year but apart frm that have u seen any guy recently since i came?"
"erm...no...what abt u?"
"no no...not at all"
"Dont u like anyone?maybe in ur organisation?or for marraige?arent u seeing anyone?"
"no its not that easy. doesnt work out...are u dating anyone?"
"No...no one apart from u that is..."
giggle frm him after i say this.(He is known to be an extremely shyguy but someone who can ask a gal out for 2 months IS NOT SHY!
I say"So ive told u so much abt guys ive met as potential husbands...why dont u tell me some episodes abt urself?"
"Ok sure...why dont u come over. Iam at this coffee shop. we will talk abt that"
"ok....can u tell me 1 good reason why i shld come down and meet u..?"
"huh....i didnt get u?"
"I said...see u agree we have been meeting v regularily these past few months?"
"oh yes..."
"So tell me the reqason why i should continue meeting u this regularily.."
"erm...ure serious?ure not pulling my leg right?"
"Nope"
"errr....what happened?someone injected u with something?u were fine before..."
"No iam fine. i just need to know what is going on?Is this a timepass friendship, brief flirtation or something more significant"
"......err...."
"Frankly iam not used to going out with guys this regularily if it was just a flirtation, dating and pass time game. I look for more stability in my relashionships and i dont understand whats going on?"
"errr...."
"Its not even a good friendship...we dont share much or keep in touch.."
"yes..."
"Then whats this...?"
"Youre bored of me..."
"No iam just saying that iam a person who beleives in strong relashionships and friendships not some passing fancies which this is looking like"
"I never gave it so much thought actually. I thought u were ok coming out with me. R u having society issues?"
"Apart frm society issues iam thinking myself..."
"Youre Dating someone right?"
"Why do u keep saying that??If u told me today tht this was something significant i would come out with u right now...!"
"....."
"I mean i came out initially cos i tht u wld be lonely but surely u wld have made other friends by now?have u made other friends?"
"......."
And then he says lets swithc the topic. He seemed extremely uncomfortable and we discussed a bit abt movies and work. After which i said i was lkng for another job and he said to let him know if i needed help in his organisation to get one. And thats it...!

Its been one week since then and theres been no call, sms, email or any kind of touch....!!!!

Now knowflakes what does this mean???????

He never said that he was only a friend
He never said he was interested
He never said he was passng time

Just that maybe i had found someone else....????????Was he trying to escape by throwing the blame on me?

And if he had any intentions whouldnt he have said it when i confronted him?????

Whats on the guys mind?????????????

I am thining its TOTALLY over!!!!!!!!And frankly i walked out of this with total dignity....i feel good abt MYSELF!

But yes,there is still a big question abt his intentions.....i dont know if a guy spends so much time with a gal and cant even say they r friends and gets totally suspiscious...

WHAT SAY KNOWFLAKES???????????

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

CoralFrequency
Knowflake

Posts: 741
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted June 14, 2007 09:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CoralFrequency     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
"I never gave it so much thought actually. I thought u were ok coming out with me."

Translation: I'm a guy. I don't think or over-think. I'm not even thinking right now. I thought you liked me. I like you to.. so why can't we go out? This all seemed very simple before you confused the crap out of me.


quote:
"So tell me the reqason why i should continue meeting u this regularily.."
"erm...ure serious?ure not pulling my leg right?"
"Nope"
"errr....what happened?someone injected u with something?u were fine before..."

You were saying: Tell me this is serious to you so I can go on seeing you.

Him: What the hell does she want from me? Why is she being bitchy all of the sudden.. wtf just happened? She was fine before..

quote:
"Its not even a good friendship...we don’t share much or keep in touch.."
"yes..."
"Then what's this...?"
"You’re bored of me..."

You: Tell me this is serious already so I can go out with you..

Him: Is she trying to break things off? It sounds like she doesn't like me anymore. She doesn't think it's a good friendship.. I guess she's saying that I'm not what she's looking for..


quote:
No I am just saying that I am a person who believes in strong relationships and friendships not some passing fancies which this is looking like"
"I never gave it so much thought actually. I thought u were ok coming out with me. R u having society issues?"
"Apart frm society issues iam thinking myself..."
"Youre Dating someone right?"

He thinks you're blowing him off.. Don't complicate things.. He has no idea what you want from him..

Ask very straightforwardly - Do you want a serious relationship with me or NOT..? Because I do and I do not want a fling with you.. If he says he hasn't thought about it, tell him to think about it and let you know – soon.

Just ask that.. He doesn't get it form the things you said. He thinks you're blowing him off and he thinks you're with another guy..

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 15, 2007 12:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Coral,

That was some GOOD analysis!I mostly agree...

except that when he said "Youre dating someone.."
I said very very explicitly " Why do you keep saying that? If you tell me you think this is something significant i will come out with you RIGHT NOW!I have no problems..."

The above was said very simply and we all know what it means.....if he still is suspicious well, he would have had enough time to think about this....its been a week!!!

I cant do more than this....ive said all this in a very unemotional manner and very politely....!If he IS NOT DUMB and ever had any intentions towards me, iam sure he would relook, re think and get back if he wants to....or dissapear...

I really feel ive done my best and i really CANT go beyond this even if i tried esp after getting such a response. I mean he would wanna clear things out as well right???So let him contact me...?

Point being if he was all confused by what i said....what were HIS intentions all along????

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 17, 2007 06:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Its been a week and....

No word from the guy!Gs i was right....!What a loser!And he knew me for 2 years....least he cld have done was say we cld be friends....

Anyways....its time to move on. Its taking time making it sink in that a 2 yr old relashionship cd not even be a simple friendship...the guy cldnt care less.

Never thought scorp moons cld be so shallow....

Wish me all the luck knowflakes!

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 294
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 19, 2007 08:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
hey sarah
this guy sounds like a total as$hole to me...

"I never gave it so much thought actually. I thought u were ok coming out with me. R u having society issues?"

it looks like he was looking for fun from day one!!...i know this might hurt you but it sure looks like that. the reason he kept asking you whether u're seeing anyone or no is also probably because because he thought you knew this(what the two of u'll had)is not 'serious'. he probably thought you are ok with this being a 'time pass' thing.

the guy does not have the guts or even the inclination to face the issue...sounds more like a libra moon to me....are u sure he has a scorpio moon?...

frankly if i were in ur place i would not give him so much importance.....because he's behaved like an ******* ...

anyways thats just my opinion sorry if iwas too blunt.

all the best.


IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 19, 2007 11:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Hi letherbelight,

Yes he is an ****le!!!!I mean i see you are from India too and here, we do not take regular dating as something of a fling esp at 32....!!!that too in south of India!

Funny thing is he has been a friend of mine for 2 years and never made a pass at me up until now...!Why wait so long for a timepass. Yes distance was a factor but still...Moreover, he never touched me during the entire time we were dating...!Spent money, dropped, picked me up, told me abt his family and himself and his fears and other stuff...so cant understand why he did it?What was the motivation?I mean iam not giving u anything physical so what do u want????Jst a woman to date and pass time maybe iam thinking...?

And now he has dissapeared without clearing his position!I mean what a pip squeak!

Tell me ladies do u think i did the RIGHT thing by being upfront and walking out of this with my dignity intact?

I mean i DO really think he thinks i have DUMPED him which is actually and in reality what i did....An ultimatum or jst get lost!

I need u to tell me i did the right thing....since it wld make me feel better as a person and as a woman as well!

Any guys out there with some other perspective to this?

Thanks!

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged

let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 294
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted June 20, 2007 04:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
"Yes he is an ****le!!!!I mean i see you are from India too and here, we do not take regular dating as something of a fling esp at 32....!!!that too in south of India!"

i agree..at 32 esp in the south of india....that clearly shows that he really does not have any sense of resposibility...he was friends with you fr two years and he's still not made his stand clear....u really are better off without him...seriously u made the right decision....i'd say dont talk to him even if he tries to talk to you now....actually thats up to you...but really it does not look like he's worth the effort..

IP: Logged

sarah9
Knowflake

Posts: 161
From: india
Registered: Apr 2005

posted June 20, 2007 06:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sarah9     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks letherbelight...!!!!

Feels good to know i have support and oh yeah....he's just out of my life!My entire opinion has changed so he aint coming back!

And yeah scorpio moon alright....which is what drew me to him.But wow!what a shallow guy!!!!

Phew!Good he's gone!

Regards
Sarah

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2007

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a