posted April 16, 2008 12:17 AM              

Ok..now...I won't bore you with all the messy details right away...not unless it may be needed for further clarification.

I met this cancer guy a month ago now...and after MUCH hmming and hawing I am quite sure he is not as interested as I had suspected and I have decided to just forget about it.
However, I thought I would post on here just to see what the feedback is...plus a little bit more hope for love never hurt!

So I met him..sparks flew....volcanoes erupted...rainbows ended on my front porch..it was terrific! Most chemistry I have felt with a guy in a long time. He was as consumed with butterflies as I was. Then his mood changed ever so slightly, I instantly put up my guard and said it may not be a good idea to see eachother again...I was lying...then I told him what I really meant which was that I liked him but it was a bit much so quickly. He was very hurt at first but seemed to get over it and we moved on. The remaining portion of the relationship was via text message because he was away working.
he would go days at a time without wrtiting..which drove me crazy but when he did write it was sweet enough to keep me wanting more...then he asked to meet on the weekend when he was back in town...we talked a few times after that..but I never seen him. About a week after that...after had gotten over the anger and rejection I seen an add for a job in his field and thought I would send it to him...with no intention of hearing back from him..it just seemed like a good offer and I am not the hold grudge type of person...he got back to me asking me who I was because he had lost his phone with his contacts...when he found out it was me he said he was hoping he would hear from me. The next day he sent me another message that said he was very happy I sent the text and that he was thinking he would never hear from me again...that was a week ago and I haven't heard anything since. I have decided he just told me what I wanted to hear to avoid any argument...I know he is not interested just wondering where I may have lost him. I know cancers hurt easily and wonder if when I told him I dont think we should see eachother he never got over it like he acted he did. I really liked him though...not looking forward to waiting for the chemistry again...me and my virgo fussiness!!
oh ya.. I am a virgo sun, sag. ascendent and moon in aquarius. I dont know what time he was born but his brithday is July 16th, 1978.
looking forward to feedback!!

posted April 16, 2008 01:57 AM              

The hypocrite who has been in a seven year on and off relationship with a Cancer who I would alternately like to punch in the face and kiss on the mouth. *sigh* I do love my sort-of-my man.
Hope this helps (and that he doesn't see this).

P.S.When you respond or within two days I will erase this post
(Libra Sun, Scorp Moon, Sag. Asc. and prolly some affliction that makes me paranoid)

posted April 16, 2008 09:46 AM              

Silver- Yes the magnetism is why he is still in my head eventhough I haven't seen him in a month...he is a hard boy to forget. Also about the soulmate thing...it may be nothing but I went to have my cards read about two weeks before I met him..she had said I would be torn between two places with work, that I would make the move which was important because there was a guy I was going to meet. Everything she explained about my relationship with this guy was the cancer scenario to a T...down to the text messaging relationship. I think that is another reason I hung on after the confusion and mixed signals.

Also regarding the roller coaster...I think that is something I wouldn't have minded as long as I knew deep down he did care...well I guess too an extent.

Ok I thank you for your email and wish you much luck in your relationship!

Cancerrg:

I am really happy you had replied as I seen much of your replies on other threads and you seem to understand yourself quite well with lots of helpful feedback!

I am not sure I completely understand the last sentence of the post though. Are you able to elabrate?

posted April 16, 2008 03:56 PM              

I wish you all the bset. I understand about the not being challenged by another yet...

Have you tried to contact him since he has started the cold shoulder thing again??? If so let me know what happens!

posted April 16, 2008 07:14 PM              

writesometing-When I read my own post I was laughing

posted April 16, 2008 08:42 PM              

Hi and thank you for the insight. I think I have remained pretty grounded through all of this regardless of the hot and cold. I think maybe I will make one last attempt at it...let him know I do like him but its ok that things haven't worked out. Thats all I can do.

Ok...thanks again! And good luck!

posted April 17, 2008 10:59 AM              

and most men want women who are grounded however its always been my problem I am generally a self assured independent strong woman but there are times I need the support and help too and I think it has been my history that as soon as I need them to be really there for me when I am having difficulty coping with something they can't deal because it messes with their security and it usual signals something in them to depart.

I hope this isn't really the case withthe crab but I think I sent him into hiding at least.
So yes very frustrating dealing with these very sweet sensitive people!!

posted April 19, 2008 01:45 AM              

At the end of the day, as much as one wants to be accommodating of people’s communication styles and idiosyncrasities, one must ask herself how much she is willing to put up with, I guess.

That’s what I am torn about. How much of this behavior I excuse and condone and where do I draw the line. I guess you have an obligation to yourself to determine how you want to be treated and how you want this to play out. I hope I am explaining myself clearly.

posted April 19, 2008 01:48 AM              

I am not one to play games, but at this stage of your dance with him, it's fun and healthy to take things slow, to let him chase you a little. Be open and encouraging, but don't be TOO readily available. It's a fine balance.

posted April 20, 2008 06:28 PM              

I had to wait for someone to come out of hiding too and adjust to my "new" characteristics.

I seem to be having better luck now that I allow myself to be more vulnerable with people who I decide are worthy of my trust. But I had to trust myself more to be able to make that call. Then I found that I was trusted more.

I've gone a bit off topic here but...hey.

posted April 22, 2008 07:51 PM              

It is my opinion that you just leave it alone. Shouldn't this guy care how his silences affect you...he knows that you like him yet he leaves you in silence and knows that you have no idea what is going on. Look forward to more of the same self centeredness/self-involvement if you get with him, I think.

posted April 22, 2008 08:48 PM              

Virgo, with all of his dancing back and forth, at the end of the day my cancer is very open, honest and unafraid to show his feelings. I am not left wondering, second-guessing. He shows me his love, affection, etc. If that wasn’t the case, I wouldn't have tolerated the dancing as much. I mean, this sort of thing involves effort from both parties, no?

The reason why I am saying all this is because there is a diff b/n being a typical, vulnerable cancer and a typical, abrasive ******* (excuse my language). I don't know which category your guy falls under, but actions speak louder than words. Astrology aside, you have to determine what works for you. You are the one that has to decide if he is worth YOUR time or not.

By the way, if you need support, I can give you my email for correspondence.

posted April 23, 2008 11:02 AM              

I heard from him again last night. It was casual. It seems whenever I bring up us meeting it scares him away. This is a major red flag. At first I was going to tell him, but now have decided to just leave it. I know he is a smart guy and cannot be completely oblivious to what is going on here.