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Author Topic:   what aspect/placement is making this bad for marriage?
lechien
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posted July 14, 2008 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
i've come live with my astrologer mother temporarily, and she was looking at my chart. she has stopped as a professional astrologer for some years now and now focus more on i-ching. so she's not as sharp as she used to be...

first glimpse and she wondered, "why aren't you married or have a partner? it doesn't look like you have THAT bad aspects and positions. maybe the Jupiter in the 7th opposing the planets in the 1st?"

i've always been the kind of person who was rather against marriage, but nowadays a partnership would be nice, but it seems that chances are never coming to my direction for some reason! it's always the wrong people, wrong places, wrong everything and never going anywhere.

i do see the Jupiter (ruler of ascendant) in the 7th house is opposing Mercury, the ruler of the 7th house. but Mercury itself is not badly aspected or anything. what else can be wrong that i'm never quite lucky in relationships?? as a woman, people find me attractive enough and it's not like i'm getting no attention when i'm at right places (not now living with mom tho...).

i'm especially a bit concerned, because i think by having a partner i can have a good support system in my life from now on. can anyone find anything problematic here??

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lechien
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posted July 15, 2008 10:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
anyone have an idea...? i just want to learn what may affect things like this if this isn't just the Jupiter-Mercury opposition thing. seeing that both Mercury and Jupiter are aspected positively by other planets, i don't really know what is causing a bad effect here...

could be that Jupiter is also opposing Juno in a wide degree and also the fact that Juno-Mercury-Sun are all conjunct may be doing something, but still, can this alone make someone have less opportunities? is this that strong of a position?

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Happy Dragon
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posted July 15, 2008 04:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
uranus is square to mars ..
neptune is conjunct venus ..

re ..
**what aspect/placement is making this bad for marriage? **
btw .. i wouldn't say 'bad for marriage' .. but ..
those two above aspects will play a part in your relationships ..

this thread is about Uranus and Venus .. at least you'll get an idea about the Uranian connection
~ http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/018132.html ~

i'll probably get the same or similar typed up for mars-uranus .. and venus-neptune at somestage ..
be a while yet though ..

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lechien
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posted July 15, 2008 10:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
Uranus and Mars? i read it more as that i should be careful with things like accidents... i'll look into Venus and Uranus thing too. thanks so much Happy Dragon!

and yea you are right, it doesn't mean "bad", but it's an element that's making it hard in some way. i need to try to work its way around somehow.

i'll be curious to read the additional info you may put up some time!

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Arnicka
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posted July 15, 2008 11:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Arnicka     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with the Mars sq Uranus - tends to mean fierce independence. In synastry that aspect is +watch out+ unless you have lots of good aspects / tolerance, etc.

From the 8th to 11th: Uranus in the 11th is accentuated [at home] so that furthers the interp. and mars in the 8th - very comfortable there as well. I say the house positions work to exaggerate the basic meaning of the aspect.

Also, your chart ruler [asc ruler] Jupiter is in opposition to your dsc ruler, Mercury - 2 deg orb. This is the partnership axis, so do you relate close partner ties with a "know it all attitude" or they to you? Do you or they jump to conclusions? Promise more than they can deliver?

My opinion is once you can work to positively direct your independent energy [as in a group or project that you can devote yourself to without concern for what anyone else thinks] and also once you've cleared up your expectations/communication in relationships that things will fall into place. My $0.02

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Happy Dragon
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posted July 16, 2008 12:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
** it's always the wrong people, wrong places, wrong everything and never going anywhere.**
that line in your post had me thinking about the possibilty of the mars-uranus aspect ..
and venus-neptune to some extent ..

also had me wondering about transits .. which i've not looked at yet ..
e.g. if that line represents a phase of your life .. like over an 18 month period ..
i'd be looking at transiting uranus maybe ..

anyhow i was looking through these seminar books for those two aspects ..
uranus-mars is discussed .. it's a short two pages ..
and unfortunately .. venus-neptune didn't quite make it into the seminar discussions ..
( except as part of some couples chart analysis that include transits and progressions
( and each persons life history etc etc .. i.e. even without the chart diagrams it gets complicated
( and the venus-neptune aspect is just one tiny part of one example chart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mars-Uranus excerpt regarding the square aspect ..
( speaker is Howard Sasportas .. Aries Sun )

.. " A conjunction, square or opposition between these two planets can give the same degree of originality and inventiveness as the trine or sextile, but you may have more trouble being appreciated or accepted for being different. Uranus heightens and electrifies any planet it contacts. Combine it with Mars and you have an aspect of extremely high wattage. Obviously, this high energy and power will not be operative twenty-four hours a day - you'd burn out very quickly if that were the case. But there will be times when a Mars-Uranus square, opposition or conjunction ( even a well aspected conjunction ) sends such a powerful bolt of energy through your system that you may have problems handling it well . The danger is blowing a fuse or short-circuiting. People with the conjunction or hard angle between these two planets need to strengthen and stabilise their nervous systems in some way - perhaps through yoga, meditation or regular exercise - in order to be a more solid container for the lightening like electrical force generated by these aspects.

.. Hard Mars-Uranus contacts ( including the conjunction ) indicate people with incredibly strong powers of assertion and an incredibly strong need to assert. This is fine provided that they have a constructive outlet, project, cause or campaign into which they can channel their assertive or aggressive energy. But if their need to assert is blocked or has nowhere interesting or exciting to go, they can become exceedingly angry, restless, or depressed. Mars and Uranus are both animus-type principles and when brought together you have a double hit of "masculine" force and power. The hard angles are going to require work and conscious effort to use rightly and within healthy proportions, otherwise you might exhibit traits associated with "negative- animus" - such as violence or tyrannical, fanatical and autocratic tendencies.

.. Mars opposite Uranus is an interesting aspect. As with any Mars-Uranus contact, people with the opposition have a powerful need to assert themselves. They seem to thrive on finding other people with an equally powerful assertive drive with whom they can lock horns and do battle. It doesn't interest them to fight with wimps, they'll instinctively seek out or attract other Uranians with whom to fight. Just imagine two strongly Uranian individuals having it out with each other. Fireworks. And yet, as dicussed before, it is precisely through a fierce battle of wills that these people affirm their potency, beliefs and identity, and discover more about who they are in their own right. "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've another Liz.Greene 'n Howard.Sasportas psychology/astrology seminar book that covers 'aggression' and 'depression' ..
there's about 4 pages on mars-uranus ( in the 'aggression' section ) which i may type up .. basically it's similar to the above excerpt ..
here is part of it ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Audience: ..
.. My friend with Mars square Uranus has such an awful temper that it is almost like a fit. It is really frightening because he can't control it.

Howard Sasportas: ..
.. Yes, imagine the suddenness and strength of bolting Uranus combined with the principle of Mars. An explosive temper is the impulse to self-affirmation gone wild. If people with Mars-Uranus contacts can't find an outlet for their power and creativity, then that energy has nowhere to go and may turn in on itself in the form of illness or depression. If a hard Mars-Uranus aspect appears in the charts of those who are predominately Piscean, Libran, Cancerian or even Taurean, they may heve difficulty integrating the aspect into their lives. They may be placid and easy-going much of the time and then suddenly break out and go beserk. If a Mars-Uranus contact is found in charts that are predominately fire and air, those people will probably have an easier time integrating this force into their lives - they will be hell to live with, but at least the energy won't be turning in on itself.
.. I have done many charts for people with Mars conjunct, square or opposing Uranus who have not felt comfortable with their own power. At the risk of being a Dr.Frankenstein, I sometimes encourage these people to take a greater free-range and give themselves permission to be disruptive, rather than always adjusting to others, let others adjust to them once in a while. You wouldn't be born with a Mars-Uranus contact unless you were meant to be a little shocking and disruptive now and again. People who don't consciously "own" or give space to a Mars-Uranus aspect and the need for self-assertion it suggests are probably finding devious ways to manipulate and control and get what they want in any case. So why not be more overt about it ?
.. Both Charles Carter and Isabel Hickey observed that the hard aspects between Mars and Uranus give rise to those who are accident prone. Isabel believed that if you carry around a lot of discordant and disruptive energy bottled up inside, you would attract accidents and discord towards the self. I've noticed this as well with these aspects.
.. More than a few times people with close hard aspects between Mars and Uranus bring an unusual amount of disruption before or during a session with me. One woman with Sun conjunct Mars and Uranus came for her reading just a few minutes after my landlord unexpectedly knocked on my door and told me I would have to move. It seems that whenever i do a reading for someone with these kind of contacts, out of the blue the doorbell rings and it something i must attend to. So the reading gets disrupted. Things happen which i have'nt planned for which upset the normal pattern of events. For example, i never do readings on Sundays. Someone rings up for a chart and for some reason i agree to break my pattern and do it on Sunday because that is more convenient for the client. I set up the chart and discover Mars conjunct Uranus on the Ascendant!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

as for venus-neptune .. i'll see if i can find some relevant excerpts .. :-)
this is one link .. ~ http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/venusneptuneaspects.html ~
i've venus opposite neptune in my chart .. and it was decribed to me as .. more or less ..
that i might have a tendency to idealise the 'other'.. put them on a pedestal so to speak ..
see attributes and virtues that don't exist .. and miss out the ones that do exist ..

seems like i've a natal aspect between mars and uranus as well .. albeit a very close orbed 'minor' type .. :-)

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lechien
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posted July 18, 2008 12:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
Arnicka, thank you for your insight! and Happy Dragon, the information was eye-opening!

first of all, in the description of Mars-uranus some parts are as if it is describing me! it feels like a big mystery of my life has just come out of fog! i don't even know where to start.

quote:
A conjunction, square or opposition between these two planets can give the same degree of originality and inventiveness as the trine or sextile, but you may have more trouble being appreciated or accepted for being different.

this actually makes me feel a little less guilty. i'm kind of a walking form of the word "weirdo", and i REALLY hate it. i don't know how to fix it and i've gone through many therapies with counselors and psychiatrists because this was obviously casting a shadow on my social life. people explain my personality as being “strong”, but not necessarily in an unpleasant kind. I do make many friends.

quote:
but if their need to assert is blocked or has nowhere interesting or exciting to go, they can become exceedingly angry, restless, or depressed.

i rarely get angry but when something is hurting me and there is no solution, i go inward, get depressed.

as for the Cafe Astrology explanation of Venus-Uranus, it IS true that i used to feel very strongly that i cannot live without love and I tend to become confused of my true feelings.

the transit, i am not sure. In the past 18 months, i guess it's been since i became single and have had fleeting affairs, for the previous relationship was draining and i did not want anything serious. and my Saturn return has just passed. but except for my first boyfriend every relationship has fell apart because of my life circumstance, and this circumstance is the cause of most other problems in my life... my life is ruled by this “circumstance”.

this root cause is why i want to understand this marriage thing. it is TRUE, this causes a situation that casts a sense of threat to my lovers and boyfriends though it is not directly my fault. i've had this problem since i was a small child. i've never met or heard of another person who has the same problem as i do.

it all comes down to this... it's not a temporary issue. I’m just looking into the marriage aspect of my life because I want to find and focus on the thing that may solve or lessen the effect of the problem, so that I can live a life that is normal to me. I want to understand it as a whole beside other possible solutions. I don’t want it to drive friends and lovers away, interrupt my career, lose money, be half a person because of this anymore…


…it’s probably making no sense. I’m a bit tempted to tell here what the problem is… maybe someone can cast a light, which I need desperately... But it’s really scary. I’ve lived with this my WHOLE LIFE pretty much. When I tell this to friends they think I’m crazy or just imagining things, because they’ve never heard of something like what I experience… but people on this board seem to be more open to different ideas I just want all this to end. especially since I’ve entered a very difficult phase of my life recently. It has tortured me my whole life. I wonder if it is ok to share something like this here? Would that be too personal?

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Happy Dragon
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posted July 18, 2008 01:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
~ lechien ~

re .. ** I wonder if it is ok to share something like this here? **
well remember anyone on the internet can read what you type .. i.e. this is a public site
given your new-ish here .. maybe hold off for a bit ..
'cause you haven't see half the nastiness that has occured on this site ..
( probably the norm. for any given public forum site )

remember that venus-neptune aspect in your chart ..
you might think all is 'love 'n light' around here .. ( or anywhere else for that matter )
but it's not necessarily the case ..

**but people on this board seem to be more open to different ideas**
the operative word there is "seem" ..

i'd hold off for a while and just watch ..

btw: there is a forum over at astro.com

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lechien
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posted July 18, 2008 04:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
i see, thank you for your kind advice. it's difficult to find a place where i can look for personal advice. i'll hang around and see. at times anxiety makes me want to do rash things to reach out for help. in the meantime i keep on looking for answers on my own. it's really been too long and i need to figure things out really soon before it's too late.

thanks for the information too, Happy Dragon.

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Happy Dragon
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posted July 18, 2008 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
~ lechien ~

**i need to figure things out really soon before it's too late. **

i was going to suggest this ..
if you go to the main LL page .. the link at the top of the thread list page ..
it's the "LINDALAND" link ..
that page lists all the forums on the site ..
on the right of that page you'll see the moderators listed ..
go into the relevant forum and you'll see an email link for the moderator ..

i don't know all of them ..
but if i needed advice regarding what to.. or what not to post ..
or where to go for help .. or what forum to post something in ..
i would ask one of these moderators .. ( in no particular order )
~ blue moon~ ~ Eleanore ~ ~ Azalaksh ~ ~ lalalinda ~ ~ Xena ~

sometimes i think this site could do with a private forum ..
where folks could go to discuss problems without it being public ..

(19th ~ 7 .. edit ... tech error on my part .. )

some folks feel ok about telling all on a public forum ..
others don't ..
be just the nature of the internet ..

( i don't .. but i'm the extremely cautious type :-))
( i once said 'sorry' to someone via email .. 'n got hate mail in return
( 'n i've got someone else to whom i'd like to say sorry to .. going on nearly three years now ..
( but .. a bit wary of the reply i might get in return ..
( i'll leave an apology note in my will 'n last testament ;-))

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lechien
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posted July 21, 2008 10:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lechien     Edit/Delete Message
Happy Dragon, sorry i wasn't online for a few days and wasn't checking. your advice is very true, thank you!! but i'm sort of too shy or scared in a way, cautious, as you say you are too! i don't know, it feels like it could be the right sort of place, but at the same time i'm super new and i don't know much as well. it requires courage and i do fear too what people will think, like in reality when i tell trusted friends in person and get the reaction like it's stupid or it's just my weakness that i go through this.

i don't think there's appropriate or inappropriate to post with my issue though. i know going to psychological counseling would not work, because i don't have a particular symptom to cure, beside getting occasional anxieties from these problems i cannot solve. i want to dig it all up and change the way it's going so that i can live the life i need to live. and i have been doing this my whole life and i've discovered and understood much. but at this time i've arrived at the place i really have to figure out the final things and help myself, and i cannot find appropriate people or places where they may be able to have respect for my problem and also give me advice what path i should take...

well Happy Dragon, you are super nice to give me advice! thank you thank you!! i'll wait and see, though i'm really feeling that i'm running out of time... but i hope good things will be on my side.

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