posted August 09, 2009 03:44 PM         

Well, I am kind of losing it today. I don't know what changed from yesterday but I am just not together due to this entire thing. It could be today's tMoon sq Neptune, or the advancing Mars sq Sun, but I am just beside myself. Of course, I am cool calm, and collected on the exterior, but that is all for show, so as not to freak people out.

So, I am going to try and find ways of calming down.

Actually, I am going to become a workaholic to distract myself. Actually, I am off to pack. I am going to the city! Maybe partying hard will help.

posted August 09, 2009 04:28 PM         

Don't party. I didn't drink at all and now I feel better. I just dealt with it. Now I don't really care. It's whatever.

I did feel really restless and angst ridden for a bit, because I need to know everything. But it doesn't matter anymore. I'm ok with not knowing why he contacted me. I'll find out in time. Or not. Who cares?

It's not my issue, it's his. I was fine without him for years, so how much does it really even matter in my life?

posted August 11, 2009 09:57 PM         

quote:

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but I will say it had to do with me, the guy from "Burn Notice" and Miami...

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It does already sound weird.

posted August 12, 2009 02:03 PM         

Ok, here it is.

I dreamt that me and the guy from "Burn Notice," hereafter referred to as BNG, were friends. We were supposed to meet on the train to Miami. I got to the train station early, but, I didn't want to be early, so I left the waiting area and because of that, I missed the train.

I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to be reunited with him. I freaked out. I decided I would do whatever I had to do to get on that train at its next stop. It seemed hopeless for me to catch that particular train, but I was determined to do it. I had to see BNG again (lol!).

I took off on foot. I was running as fast as I could to get the train at its next stop. Everyone said it was hopeless, a waste of time, but I was persistent. I was jumping fences, scaling walls -- circumventing every obstacle I came across. I climbed very steep, white, concrete stairs on my hands and knees the way someone would rock climb a mountain. It was grueling. The whole time all I thought about was seeing him again and giving him a hug.

I beat the odds, I made the train! I was reunited with BNG. I don't remember seeing him on there or giving him a hug. This part is fuzzy. I know I made the train, but don't recall seeing him until we were in his car.

It was night and we were in Miami somewhere, but we were just sitting in his car on some street. The car was some type of sportscar, it was hot and very powerful. I don't know the model, because I could only see the inside of it. It may have been old, like a muscle car. He was in the driver's seat and I was in the passenger seat next to him. I got the feeling we were about to head to our new home.

I was so happy to be with him! We were talking in the car. I turned to look at him and said, "You know, there are dangerous parts of Miami..." implying I didn't want to live in those parts. He understood what I meant. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me and smiled.

And I knew. Without a word I knew we were going to live in the dangerous part of Miami.

I smiled. I didn't care. I was just so happy to be there with him. It didn't matter. I felt safe with him. All I cared about was being with him. That was all that mattered.

I woke up.

posted August 12, 2009 05:30 PM         

Maybe it says that you are a fighter when it comes to love, or the dream is suggesting that you do so because it will be rewarding.

posted August 12, 2009 06:09 PM         

I'm definitely not a fighter when it comes to love. I don't fight for people. If a guy had a crush on someone else I'd tell him to go for it and figure he didn't like me, and then I'd move on. I've actually told people I was dating to go back to an ex they were thinking about, because I feel like they must not like me if they're considering going back. I'm the type of person, if I caught my SO having an affair, I'd tell the girl that she could have him -- and mean it. Why should I fight for someone who doesn't even really want me, is my rationale. He should fight for ME, except he shouldn't have to, because if I like him, he won't have to -- unless he F's up.

I think the dream means either something to do with him or someone new. I am wondering if it means I should move.

posted August 12, 2009 08:16 PM         

E.g. Not having pride, and letting yourself be vulnerable, as you did in the dream by enduring discomfort (getting hurt) so that you can have the opportunity to reunite with him.

I don't support fighting for people either because it should be their choice; but making the choices available is the fighting I am talking about.

posted September 10, 2009 04:49 AM         

The guy isn't the guy I started this thread about.

The new guy looks like BNG! I am not making this up. He came to me. I didn't look for a guy who looked like BNG. It actually just hit me, because I forgot about the dream. I didn't think this could get any crazier, but it has.

The dream was most likely about the new guy. I had it before I knew about him. And yes, I feel like I did in the dream. We are talking about moving away together....

posted September 10, 2009 09:15 AM         

quote:

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The new guy looks like BNG! I am not making this up. He came to me. I didn't look for a guy who looked like BNG. It actually just hit me, because I forgot about the dream. I didn't think this could get any crazier, but it has.

The dream was most likely about the new guy. I had it before I knew about him. And yes, I feel like I did in the dream. We are talking about moving away together....

Oh my God!

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That's really freaky. Are you ready to say more?

posted September 10, 2009 09:18 AM         

quote:

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The new guy looks like BNG!

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WOW! Prophetic dream, or what?
"Moving away" with each other... Another WOW!

This is exciting and I wish you all the best happiness. Are you happy or scared, or a little of both?