posted August 07, 2009 11:46 AM         

Just like in the movie with Wil Smith, "Hancock".

It's just that a lot of people are saying that more twin flames are getting together now.

Ah well, if that isn't the case for him, I guess I could try to carry on with him and put it out of my mind as much as I can.

posted August 07, 2009 11:54 AM         

LTT, in that case, I don't see much problem. The Scorpio in me wants to encourage you to get her birthday so we can look at their synastry. Mwahaha! But don't do it, because it might just upset you more.

Relax... I think he was just overwhelmed by the powerful connection, which was made more intriguing by the fact that they were never together. Obsession (or its cousins) is stronger the more the object is unreachable or "unconsummated".

Btw, we can't tell whether they're really twin flames whatever. My guess is they must have some planetary, angular or asteroidal connections that expressed themselves in twin flamey feelings, but that doesn't cancel the fact that you guys have a lovely connection, too. Don't blow up the twin flame thing or unconsciously use it as an excuse to sabotage the relationship.

ETA: Focus on the good things about the relationship not on the bad.

I believe that love is not only a feeling or emotion, it is also a decision.

posted August 07, 2009 12:14 PM         

quote:

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You meet someone, he's perfect. You feel closer to him than you ever have felt with anyone. He treats you and loves you in exactly the way you need to be treated and loved, which no one else ever has. He wants to be with you. But he believes he has already met his twin flame, and it is someone else, someone he says is on a different path to him and couldn't be with and doesn't want to be with as it was too painful.

---

posted August 07, 2009 04:32 PM         

I don't think I'd feel right to be with him. I remember an ex wanted to go back to his ex, or was confused about it. I told him to go there because talking about her all the time was eating into OUR time.

He went back to her.

A few months later they were over, again. He wanted to get back together with me and I couldn't because to me, he chose her. I was over him by then too.

If you guys feel good though, then maybe just see how it goes... The thing is, you might end up resenting him in the long run, for feeling this way about this other woman. It is just an unhealthy place to be.

posted August 08, 2009 10:53 AM         

Just because there may not be a real relationship doesn't discount the fact that one of the two may have strong feelings for the other. And it certainly always isn't neptune goggles, projection, or fantasy. People develop healthy crushes or feelings for others every second of every day. And if they do, it doesn't always mean they are delusional or deluding themselves.

Again, this post is not meant to be taken as a shot at you or what you are saying but I felt the need to say it nonetheless.

posted August 08, 2009 01:16 PM         

i think what sucks about this situation is coming from an outsider looking in...is that okay how can these ingrates always find options for themselves? like this dude, he lost his twin soul and now he's got someone awesome like you and he's still like wondering about his twin soul? it's like come on man...it makes me really sad when people take things like this so for granted. it's like he shouldn't even have had another chance at love with you to begin with. it's like that's not fair. so many people don't even get a chance at one love and he's like got this? boo...it's like what an ingrate.

sorry...it makes me really sad and upset when people have everything and it's still not enough for them. it's like come on man...he needs a smack against the head.

posted August 08, 2009 01:30 PM         

BUT -- maybe he will forget about her. Give it some time, but not too long. Because if after awhile with you he's still wrapped up in her, he always will be.

posted August 08, 2009 09:21 PM         

1) A fantasy projection because your real life is lacking and you don't have the courage or dignity to risk real, honest intimacy with the people you are actually involved with, so you need an imaginary safety net [that is the case with this guy from this post, I think. He fantasizes that some random colleague he had the hots for is his Twin Self, but that they can never actually be together. Telling the adoring young woman he is actually involved with in real life about this puts him in a position of power--as they start to get closer or think about merging their lives, if it doesn't work out, he can say to himself--and to her--'well, we weren't Twin Flames.']

2) A fantasy projection because you are brutally lonely in your real life

posted August 08, 2009 10:19 PM         

Diana –

quote:

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It all just reminds me of that Meatloaf song, "Two outta three ain't bad."

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posted August 09, 2009 12:03 AM         

Maybe he figured out your into these "kind" of metaphysical things because you two are close and it might have dawn on him to share this with you.I've been into these things for two years and no matter how hard I try to hide it people close to me, still find out or have hunches.

Who the hell knows seriously though, and I say this from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe your his soulmate, maybe this is the way it's meant to be..like I said who really knows or can say it is to be or not meant to be except you..

posted August 09, 2009 03:12 AM         

I had a very close, soulmated connection with someone when I was 14/15 .. this lasted for about a year. We were never in a relationship ... but we did love each other very very deeply. Due to the age factor and naivity on my part I hurt him VERY deeply ... it took me several years to cut the cord on my end, because as they say .. you always have 20/20 hindsight, and spent the time until I was about 19 wishing I hadn't made the decisions I did that ended up with him ultimately cutting off his connection with me. During this time I did have other relationships with people, and I did let this soulmate connection ultimately impinge on these relationships.

I'm at peace with that now and understand that this was just a part of this life's journey.. and that I was lucky to learn a hard life/love lesson early on in my life! I have been in several relationships since then, and a couple of them I would have considered spending the rest of my life with ... this doesn't go to say that they are my soulmates ... but I also know that I will probably never meet up with this particular soulmate again in this lifetime. That moment has gone and I accept that. And I don't want to pursue reconnection with him either.. what would be the point? We have achieved what we needed to achieve by knowing each other. It feels good to know that I at least did meet my twinflame even though we never had a physical relationship.
There is someone else in my life now who I feel a very fated/soulful connection with ... and my energies are focussed on the now, not on the 'what was' or 'what could have been'.

I don't think you should force him to meet her if he doesn't want to ... I wouldn't want to be forced to meet my twinflame again ... it would be very uncomfortable.

posted August 09, 2009 03:15 AM         

quote:

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Got Gemini, I very strongly disagree. While I agree that people develop crushes every day, an over-the-top, we-are-soulmates crush like that outside of a real, mutual, intimate, two-sided relationship is one of three things:

1) A fantasy projection because your real life is lacking and you don't have the courage or dignity to risk real, honest intimacy with the people you are actually involved with, so you need an imaginary safety net [that is the case with this guy from this post, I think. He fantasizes that some random colleague he had the hots for is his Twin Self, but that they can never actually be together. Telling the adoring young woman he is actually involved with in real life about this puts him in a position of power--as they start to get closer or think about merging their lives, if it doesn't work out, he can say to himself--and to her--'well, we weren't Twin Flames.']

2) A fantasy projection because you are brutally lonely in your real life

3) An indication that the person you have the crush on is highly compatible with you, that there is mutual chemistry, and that you should explore that connection and get together in real life as soon as possible. This happens to plenty of healthy, mature people, and the healthy, mature response is to pursue a relationship with the person you feel that connection to. If you don't want a relationship with them, and/or you are in an exclusive relationship with someone else, it's fantasy/projection/delusion, pure and simple. The "soul" is huge and beautiful, and at the soul level we are ALL connected. Each connection between two people is unique, and when you disrespect your real relationship enough to maintain that someone else is your "Twin Flame", it's a power play.

---

What happens when the two people who have a "real life two way connection" CANNOT pursue a "real life" relationship with each other due to circumstances beyond their control? Are they deluding themselves because they feel they want to hold on to their connection with hopes of possibly getting together in the future? Or should they just let each other go because they are not in a "real" relationship with each other and anything other than that is not healthy? What is a "real" relationship?

I really don't think you can box things in such as matters of the heart like you are doing. I have witnessed that it is MUCH more complicated than your are negating it to be.

While I do think there are some people out there that do actually fit your 3 descriptions, I find that many people in fact do not; well, at least the people that I come across.

Its like you are saying that if you like someone, either two things MUST take place. Either you tell them you like them and try to form a relationship or get over your feelings for that person as soon as possible because if you don't your delusional. Not everyone is as fragile as your rules make them out to be. Some people can actually handle having strong feelings and emotions for someone they are not in a "real" relationship with.

I remember when I was in high school, I had a crush on this girl for 4 years! I knew NOTHING of astrology then. All I knew was that she was beautiful and that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. This girl NEVER gave me the time of day. Now, during this time I also dated MANY other chicks, so, I was NOT in the least bit lonely, heck, I don't fall into ANY of the 3 rules you posted.

Was it a fantasy projection "A fantasy projection because your real life is lacking and you don't have the courage or dignity to risk real, honest intimacy with the people you are actually involved with, so you need an imaginary safety net [that is the case with this guy from this post, I think..."?

No way, no how.

Was it your number two suggestion? Not even close.

Was it your number 3 suggestion? Nope. I had a crush on her simply because she was absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I was attracted to her LOOKS. We were NOT compatible and I knew that then but still had a crush on her because of her looks. I have absolutely NO feelings for her today. As a matter of fact, as soon as I graduated high school, I developed another crush on a spanish girl from the neighborhood and that turned into a real relationship. I ended up falling in love with her but her feelings wern't the same for me so I ended it. It took me all of two weeks to get over her. To this day we are like friends.

What else is there? How many other people do you think would fall outside of your three diagnosis?

Are you a professional (certified) Psychiatrist, Psychologist, or do you work in the mental health field at a level where you assess mental health issues? Just asking because i'm curious where you get your 3 rules from.

Lets keep this discussion cool because again, my reply is not a sideways or indirect/direct shot at you.

posted August 09, 2009 03:34 AM         

In my experience there was definitely no fantasy projection from either of us.. it was a real connection, though we never made it physical, or even entered into a relationship.
In my experience I was not brutally lonely in my life... I had other relationships as well, and had a very active social life. I did however let the whole twinflame thing get in the way of my relationships until I was at least 17 ... finally getting over it completely at around 19 ... and have had 2 other significant relationships since then... I rarely think about my twinflame at all, and he certainly doesn't impinge on my life now.
In my experience I have had several other soul/fated connections with people but I still maintain this person was my twinflame. Doesn't mean that I want to ever see him again!

I had one significant soulmate connection as well similar to your high school experience... we hardly talked to each other.. so years later when he actually FR me on FB .. I was a bit taken aback because I thought he hardly knew I existed or at least didn't really care that I existed.. We never even had a proper friendship (unlike my twinflame, we never had a relationship but we did have a deep connection) which goes to show .. that there must have been some connection there.. and everyone knew I had a 'crush' on him, even he did but we just used to exchange eye glances and that was it.