posted October 30, 2011 06:27 PM            

quote:

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This guy as I suspected was a temporary guy in her life but he DEFINITELY SERVED HIS PURPOSE, there was a purpose and just bc you can't see the big picture and understand this does not make cheating nauseating. What makes it nauseating is your perception on it! Not actually cheating.

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By your standards of conduct, the sanctity of marriage is entirely perverted. The vows taken at marriage become meaningless.

Marriage becomes a temporary act of convenience, to last only at the whim of the individual and only as long as no one more attractive comes along.

By your standards, the act of cheating itself is entirely justified as long as the next guy makes a woman feel better, whether it be him catering more to her emotional needs or whether he is more anatomically gifted.

You mention forgiveness and moving on. No where in the equation is her loving husband who is the only true victim of these circumstances.

posted October 30, 2011 09:18 PM            

her husband is not a victim!!!! when cheating occurs is a systemic problem, is not one person's fault. You dont know the details of her marriage. Cheating just doesn't happen bc someone hot crossed someone's path unless you approach sex as a sport. Cheating is symptom of a bigger problem. Life is not black and white. Study Bowen theory and triangulation. We are here to understand and love and loving more than one person at once doesn't make you a bad person just someone with a big heart.

Nobody in a triangle is a victim and if you understand the origin of triangles and knew more about psychology instead of memorizing the bible you would understand this. For all you know her husband has a real bad temper problem and has hit her and done things to push her to cheat.

YOU ARE NOT GOD!

posted November 04, 2011 03:52 AM            

But now, if you don't feel anything for your ex, then just leave him be. An Aries won't go back to an ex at least not that easily and things will never be the same so don't force yourself.

A lot of people here are projecting their own sordid desires I guess. Thinking there is nothing wrong with cheating and wanting you to hook up with another guy while you were married. Just really odd.

posted November 13, 2011 09:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Steam:
I saw all the planets you had in the 8th house composite with this guy and I just knew you were headed for disaster.

But now, if you don't feel anything for your ex, then just leave him be. An Aries won't go back to an ex at least not that easily and things will never be the same so don't force yourself.

A lot of people here are projecting their own sordid desires I guess. Thinking there is nothing wrong with cheating and wanting you to hook up with another guy while you were married. Just really odd.

Anyway, time to move on. You don't like the Aries so stop trying to cuz he doesn't want you to trying to want him.

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I dont have sordid desires about cheating. I approach this topic intellectually and not emotionally. Cheating is a symptom that there is something wrong in the relationship and that even if partner cheating has voiced problem, the other keeps ignoring what is been voiced possibly resulting after a long time in cheating.

I am saying that cheating happens and that it doesn't mean that is the end of relationship. I am saying that people shouldn't be so judgmental bec nobody knows the details of her marriage. I am saying that people and life are complex and there are to many people who think in very simplistic forms and need to make a bigger effort to be more understanding and put self in other person's shoes. Cheating is not the end of the world and doesn't make you a bad person, it is a symptom that there is something wrong in the relationship.

posted November 13, 2011 11:26 PM            

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Mindfulness is a therapeutic approach that is becoming increasingly more popular in the field of psychology. “Mindfulness training emphasizes focused attention to internal and external experiences in the present moment of time without judgment” (Fodor & Hooker, pg.75, 2008). Mindfulness requires that person looks at self and others from an angle that seeks understanding. When a person automatically judges self or other it is not seeking understanding but is seeking to be right and judgment of self and others leads to hate not to compassion, healing and liberation.