posted September 27, 2013 08:35 PM            

I think sometimes he loves me more, but Idk. I find myself only turning to him, when with other people, with far less turmoil, I was quickly disinterested and split my attention and care among others.

posted October 02, 2013 12:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hikoro:

so, what do you guys think? agree? disagree?
has anybody experienced this?
for those who havent: would you be ok with being with a man that loves you more than you love him?

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I'm rather new to this part of LL. But let me respond before I read *any* of the other replies!

My HEART says: You should both each other equally!! Both give to each other willingly & passionately. Both vow to always respect & communicate with each other, and not take each other for granted.

My HEAD says: Yes. The man should definitely love the woman MORE than she loves him. When a man feels that you'll do whatever he wants, whenever he wants...he loses some respect for you. You then lose value in his eyes...and the love wears off over time. When a woman loves him, but she doesn't "cater" to him, he then ends up wanting to cater to her.

Point:
I'll tell you (1) definitive thing though -- a woman should NEVER, EVER love the man more than he loves her. Those situations *always* turn out for the worst for HER. It's very common for women to be holding almost EVERYTHING together in a relationship...desperate to hold onto the man! Women just *naturally* give of themselves in love relationships. HER 60% is usually HIS 100%! *Unless* he loves her just a tad more, sadly. That is a travesty!!! But the truth.

So I'm somewhat conflicted.

posted October 02, 2013 03:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LovelyAries86:
I'm rather new to this part of LL. But let me respond before I read *any* of the other replies!

My HEART says: You should both each other equally!! Both give to each other willingly & passionately. Both vow to always respect & communicate with each other, and not take each other for granted.

My HEAD says: Yes. The man should definitely love the woman MORE than she loves him. When a man feels that you'll do whatever he wants, whenever he wants...he loses some respect for you. You then lose value in his eyes...and the love wears off over time. When a woman loves him, but she doesn't "cater" to him..he then ends up wanting to cater to her.

Point:
I'll tell you (1) definitive thing though -- a woman should NEVER, EVER love the man more than he loves her. Those situations *always* turn out for the worst for HER. It's very common for women to be holding almost EVERYTHING together in a relationship...desperate to hold onto the man! Women just *naturally* give of themselves in love relationships. HER 60% is usually HIS 100%! *Unless* he loves her just a tad more, sadly. That is a travesty!!! But the truth.

So I'm somewhat conflicted.

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sort of sad lovely.
so, it seems that women are at a disadvantage from the getgo.
and then, it brings the question of feeling free to be yourself in a relationship.
so, should a woman restrain herself? follow a t-it for tat system? give 10 when he gives 20...
it is too much calculation...a commerce.
i once heard someone saying that women shouldn't give themselves too much but, isnt it uncomfy to be in a relationship where you are limiting your interaction and generosity for fear that you will be taken advantage of?
hmm.....

posted October 02, 2013 05:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hikoro:
isnt it uncomfy to be in a relationship where you are limiting your interaction and generosity for fear that you will be taken advantage of?
hmm.....

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I would say so! Personally, I am excellent at restraint. So I can play this "game" if I need to. However, it's honestly not what I desire to do! You should indeed be able to show as much LOVE to your partner as you have to give -- letting your mate bask in it ALL like a wave caressing the sea!

Oh well I'll find that one day.

This subject is a HUGE factor in *why* I've chosen to remain single for quite sometime now.

posted January 05, 2014 01:18 PM            

The deepest need of every man isn’t love, but respect. The greatest homage of a woman isn’t love, but respect so, on the issue of who should love more, I believe a man should love his woman more than she loves him. The heart of a man can be strong against many things but not with the one he loves and the heart of a woman can be charitable towards humanity yet be critical of the one she loves.
The order of a woman’s feeling for a man follows a strict pattern that makes it impossible for a woman to love a man for whom she doesn’t feel any respect and if while she loves the man, he manages to lose her respect, she will lose her love for him. A woman’s love is predicated upon the respect that she feels for him. First, she is attracted to him then when she knows him, if she respects him, she may love him.

But a man can afford to love his woman without regard for her state, so long as he is in a better state because where he is, she will also be. A woman’s identity is drawn from all that her man is and the need of a woman to be loved deeply is one that her man is emotionally built to deal with. A man’s love has little to do with the personality of the woman but more to do with how she makes him feel. The deeper the positive feelings she can elicit from him, the more deeply he falls in love.

A man should therefore love his woman more than she loves him because the natural order of relationships and the heart feelings dictate this. A man’s stronger character can only be tempered with great love for his woman while a woman’s universally charitable heart must be made stronger by her ability to control how she feels and do the needful.

posted January 05, 2014 03:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by libraschoice77:
I think I gave to much in my past relationships without expecting much in return, which was a big mistake. I learned to have more self respect for myself and in turn I have a partner now that loves me alot, we love each other equally I believe. The key is to love and respect yourself first, if not no one else will either.

Had to rant abit

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I've recently just learned this. I was always so eager to give to people to prove how much i cared and how worthy i was without looking for anything in return. I thought i could love people into loving me.. if that makes sense lol.
And i used to believe that relationships would always be unequal until i met a guy where the love was mutual and I'm happy to have experienced it. Even though the relationship didn't last forever it gave me hope that you don't have to settle, whether its for a guy that doesn't love you enough or someone who you don't love enough.

posted January 07, 2014 02:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ash20:
I've recently just learned this. I was always so eager to give to people to prove how much i cared and how worthy i was without looking for anything in return. I thought i could love people into loving me.. if that makes sense lol.

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I'm glad that you've grown from all this. Growth (and knowledge) is power.

posted January 16, 2014 12:34 AM            

Experience with this love/power inbalance and this train of thinking had really torn me up in the past. After a bad first love experience I came to the conclusion that true love and happiness is really rare. So I figured my options were to stay single for as long as it takes or give it a shot and hope for the best. In either situation of loving the man more or being loved more lead too an incredible amount of pain. In neither case did I feel like I was being true to my self. Either I felt like I was being taken advantage of or taking advantage of someone's time, energy, and heart. I've also witnessed many women taking advantage of their man's commitment.