Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Pisces male, Scorpio female....I can't believe this (Page 3)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Pisces male, Scorpio female....I can't believe this
Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 05, 2014 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by usc277:

For some reason, I started to lose interest in her...we recently spoke for hours on the phone day after day for about a week....then am blocked...I too am a player but I have never felt like this with a woman before and didn't know how to act..I learned


I wouldn't say she sounds like a "player", or if she is she isn't doing it very well. A player would be more up front and obvious about things, not say/do one thing one minute and another thing the next. She's giving you conflicting messages and it sounds to me she doesn't really know WHAT she wants.

Either way I personally wouldn't put up with this "hot one minute, cold the next" behaviour.

I'm glad the feeling has worn off a bit for you. Having physical space away from someone is a good test of how much they REALLY matter to you in your life. If this friendship had any solid foundation, you'd be missing each other.

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 05, 2014 02:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
I wouldn't say she sounds like a "player", or if she is she isn't doing it very well. A player would be more up front and obvious about things, not say/do one thing one minute and another thing the next. She's giving you conflicting messages and it sounds to me she doesn't really know WHAT she wants.

Either way I personally wouldn't put up with this "hot one minute, cold the next" behaviour.

I'm glad the feeling has worn off a bit for you. Having physical space away from someone is a good test of how much they REALLY matter to you in your life. If this friendship had any solid foundation, you'd be missing each other.



Do you think she has feelings for me?

Because she said she would have married me had we been single ? But then said I'll never love u ?? Conflicting...

But does she have feelings ?

IP: Logged

Leolady82
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From: San Francisco, CA USA
Registered: Oct 2013

posted April 05, 2014 02:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by usc277:

Thanks for the reply..
I too think she's not a good match on the long run, she's not very well educated...(unlike my Harvard grad wife)

Ah! Yeah I don't judge people, and neither do you I can tell, by their education or lack therof BUT!!! But, it DOES seem to matter sometimes. I prefer that my long term partners have equal or higher education than me. I merely have a modest BA from the University of California, Santa Cruz. One of my exes also graduated from that college and we seemed to have a deeper sympathetic rapport than my exes who never went to any colleges. My current love has a BA from the University of Virgina and I admire that in him. Something about the whole college experience seems to open people up to having to LISTEN to other people's opinions etc...

quote:
Originally posted by usc277:
I was hurt for a while, but I do have a good feeling about the whole situation, I never really gave her what she really wanted at the beginning (sex) and by saying she would have married me had I been single boosted my ego, that she considers me better than her husband...

So in my mind I have lost some battles with her but won the war ultimately...



That's good, I understand that. Makes sense, it's good you're no longer suffering.

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 05, 2014 03:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also the point about you apparently being a higher social class than her... materially better off, having a "prestigious" job (just quoting you from your earlier post ) may have triggered her saying "I could have married you". Maybe she was thinking of that. Sorry, some women are just mercenary in improving their lot. Why do we often see rich but not particularly attractive older men drawing their pension and even close to death married to young, hot looking women? Money! lol

I'm certainly not implying you are in this category at all by the way, but you see what I mean!

She might have sexual feelings for you (I don't doubt that actually) but whether she's right for you on a deeper emotional level is questionable. She's obviously young, probably coming to terms with being pregnant and the limitations that's going to impose on her freedom as a woman - ie putting ANOTHER human being's needs before her own. She's already said she neither loves her husband, NOR you. That says a lot to me about her selfishness. I'd stay away if I were you.

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 05, 2014 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Leolady82:
Ah! Yeah I don't judge people, and neither do you I can tell, by their education or lack therof BUT!!! But, it DOES seem to matter sometimes. I prefer that my long term partners have equal or higher education than me. I merely have a modest BA from the University of California, Santa Cruz. One of my exes also graduated from that college and we seemed to have a deeper sympathetic rapport than my exes who never went to any colleges. My current love has a BA from the University of Virgina and I admire that in him. Something about the whole college experience seems to open people up to having to LISTEN to other people's opinions etc...

[QUOTE]Originally posted by usc277:
[b] I was hurt for a while, but I do have a good feeling about the whole situation, I never really gave her what she really wanted at the beginning (sex) and by saying she would have married me had I been single boosted my ego, that she considers me better than her husband...

So in my mind I have lost some battles with her but won the war ultimately...



That's good, I understand that. Makes sense, it's good you're no longer suffering.[/B][/QUOTE]

Wow USC Santa Cruz, I went there for a 6 week program on renewable energy in 2009...I liked UCSC. Nice gym. Actually great gym and the town is cool

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 05, 2014 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
Also the point about you apparently being a higher social class than her... materially better off, having a "prestigious" job (just quoting you from your earlier post ) may have triggered her saying "I could have married you". Maybe she was thinking of that. Sorry, some women are just mercenary in improving their lot. Why do we often see rich but not particularly attractive older men drawing their pension and even close to death married to young, hot looking women? Money! lol

I'm certainly not implying you are in this category at all by the way, but you see what I mean!

She might have sexual feelings for you (I don't doubt that actually) but whether she's right for you on a deeper emotional level is questionable. She's obviously young, probably coming to terms with being pregnant and the limitations that's going to impose on her freedom as a woman - ie putting ANOTHER human being's needs before her own. She's already said she neither loves her husband, NOR you. That says a lot to me about her selfishness. I'd stay away if I were you.


Her husband has more money than me...so she couldn't have said she would have married me for my money...maybe because am a sexy beast

IP: Logged

Leolady82
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From: San Francisco, CA USA
Registered: Oct 2013

posted April 05, 2014 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leolady82     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by usc277:
Wow USC Santa Cruz, I went there for a 6 week program on renewable energy in 2009...I liked UCSC. Nice gym. Actually great gym and the town is cool

Beautiful campus, great gym/track. The town has degraded since 2010. Many shootings and general ghetto-ization. I've lived in San Francisco since 2011 and it's much cooler...

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 05, 2014 11:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Leolady82:
Beautiful campus, great gym/track. The town has degraded since 2010. Many shootings and general ghetto-ization. I've lived in San Francisco since 2011 and it's much cooler...


I agree, I love San Fran.. am in San Fran at the moment for work.

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 06, 2014 05:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm back in the UK now but I spent most of the past two years in California (Newport Beach mostly) but I visited both Santa Cruz and San Francisco. I loved SF, if I could live in one city on the West Coast that would be my city of choice.

IP: Logged

JustAmanda1216
Knowflake

Posts: 109
From: Virginia
Registered: Nov 2010

posted April 07, 2014 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda1216     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This truly is the most interesting thread I've ever encountered on LL. I've been coming here for years, off and on, since 2002 I think and this, hands down, is the most interesting and twisting thread...I've never seen a man post something like this here...so, it's getting a little alien from me, because that's what is it...alien....

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 08, 2014 09:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by JustAmanda1216:
This truly is the most interesting thread I've ever encountered on LL. I've been coming here for years, off and on, since 2002 I think and this, hands down, is the most interesting and twisting thread...I've never seen a man post something like this here...so, it's getting a little alien from me, because that's what is it...alien....



Whats alien...the story or me posting it?

I think the most shocking aspects of the story for me are 2 things..

1) how I would fall in love with someone who cheated so fast on their husband..I mean she should still be in honeymoon season...I also know if we connected I wouldn't be able to ever trust her around other men because of what she did to her husband..

2) how a newly wed would do such a thing with a stranger, on a plane and so early in her marriage..., as for me I never felt like this before with anyone..I delete her no. And am moving on..also one thing that bothers me is that my wife knows everything and her husband knows nothing about all that happened...so she got away with it even though she instigated this whole thing.

How she knew? she picked up my phone and looked at this thread. And yes she knows my user name, and yes she will be reading this post today.

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 08, 2014 01:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 09, 2014 10:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Some things are just not worth the aggro/heart-ache.

IP: Logged

JustAmanda1216
Knowflake

Posts: 109
From: Virginia
Registered: Nov 2010

posted April 09, 2014 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda1216     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am not sure why I feel it's so alien...maybe everything? So, you told your wife about this encounter and infactuation? I mean, don't you really feel it's more of an infactuation than love? It was a temptation that turned into infactuation?

I am learning a lot about myself and what is love and what isn't. And unfortunately I've not been "in love" with anyone since my exhusband and that was quite a while ago. A very long while ago. I'm not sure if I even know how to fall in love and stay in love now. But I do know how to feel lust for someone and then be all starry eyed for them..which fades fast.

I guess that's why this thread intrigues me so much...it's not a bad thing..just interesting in relation to my own developments.

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 09, 2014 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by JustAmanda1216:
I am not sure why I feel it's so alien...maybe everything? So, you told your wife about this encounter and infactuation? I mean, don't you really feel it's more of an infactuation than love? It was a temptation that turned into infactuation?

Yes I was thinking that usc's situation sounds more like infatuation/lust then real love. I don't really believe in love at first sight because it takes a while to truly get to know someone in order to realise you love them (in my experience anyway).

I think with men (more than women) they often confuse being "in love" with lustful feelings at the beginning, then often later on when the dust has settled and they see their love interest in a clearer light, they can easily separate "lust" from "love" or merely "like". Hence the categories they put women in: "lover", "wife" and "just friend" (who might or might not be a f*ck buddy).

Men are good at compartmentalising. lol

IP: Logged

usc277
Knowflake

Posts: 80
From:
Registered: Mar 2014

posted April 09, 2014 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for usc277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jo B:
Yes I was thinking that usc's situation sounds more like infatuation/lust then real love. I don't really believe in love at first sight because it takes a while to truly get to know someone in order to realise you love them (in my experience anyway).

I think with men (more than women) they often confuse being "in love" with lustful feelings at the beginning, then often later on when the dust has settled and they see their love interest in a clearer light, they can easily separate "lust" from "love" or merely "like". Hence the categories they put women in: "lover", "wife" and "just friend" (who might or might not be a f*ck buddy).

Men are good at compartmentalising. lol



Thank you Jo B and Amanda

I just know how I feel, its alien to me as well...its not lust

IP: Logged

Jo B
Knowflake

Posts: 413
From: London, UK
Registered: Feb 2014

posted April 09, 2014 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jo B     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh well, fair enough.

Maybe these types of things are sent to remind us that we are human, and alive.

IP: Logged


This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2014

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a