posted December 27, 2018 12:07 AM            

I'm sorry I haven't posted a reply even though I said I would. I have tried several times then something keeps stopping me. It's like there is so much to say, and then nothing at all. I am not used to sharing so much on the internet.

I feel lucky to have so many lovely replies to my post. Anytime you are so down it is nice to get encouragement.

I wanted to say something about "moving on."

I think it seems impossible to "move on" because through this relationship I learned that time does not exist as we think it does. Past, present and future are all one. How does one "move on" when it involves your soul which is eternal? Moving on implies that there is somewhere to move to. After this relationship I felt that there was nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. Like I had seen and done everything there ever was to do in this universe. Have any of you ever felt that way?

There was so much Saturn involved in this relationship that afterwards I felt absolutely ancient, like I had lived an entire lifetime. And I wondered if it was possible that I completed all of my life's lessons in this one relationship.

I guess I have to integrate whatever lessons my soul needed and then I can get back to living in "real time" and leave this in the "past" (whatever that means).

Well, at this point I don't know who I am writing to, but maybe someone will have something to say

posted April 16, 2019 05:28 PM            

I actually felt like I found myself, the old me died and I found the real me.

You are right, it is hard to find my way back to myself... I have felt it is impossible actually...because the person I was no longer exists.

Does that make any sense?

posted February 19, 2020 01:50 PM            

(Take it from me. I've been working diligently on this in various ways.)

- Giving back an engagement ring that symbolizes devotion; despite it being meant for me and mine to keep given by his matriarchy. All things exceedingly symbolic to you respectfully depart with as soon as intuitively possible to you (no one else can know how). In the case of this, still have handmade gifts, even random errand lists, tucked away in a storage trunk, however, this ring meant more than I could have ever imagined (in light of what was happening). I had worn it on a chain around my neck honoring the vow.
-Burning letters in notebooks that were never meant to be sent however sat around with my belongings -- vestiges of my personal grieving process. Watching the speed of the flame. Celebrate fire's power to release the thing from existence versus decomposing. Again, intention is key.
-Petitioning over and over for health, strength, peace and abundance.

There are particular things I didn't get around to doing until well over a year after, because spirit took the wheel, but I can attest sticking to all or any attempts no matter how much it seems counterintuitive to your unconditional soul.

Overall, do not give up on your Self. Take as long as you need.

posted February 21, 2020 11:56 PM            

Your post touched my heart, sincerely. I'm sorry I didn't see it until now.

You are right, I am very thankful for him and to God for allowing me to have the experience of knowing him.

Thank you for your suggestions. They feel right. I don't know if I will ever get the opportunity to thank him for being a part of my life. But I can send it out into the universe and I do believe it will find him.

posted February 22, 2020 12:48 AM            

Yes, our intentions are so powerful. Thank you for the reminder. A problem for me is probably that my intention to move on hasn't been strong enough.

Good for you being able to give back or burn possessions that were so meaningful to you. That must have been so hard to give back the engagement ring. I have held on to many things and haven't been able to part with them. You're right - it seems counterintuitive. So hard to do.