posted November 26, 2022 08:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Shulia:
Hi!

I think first of all, its important that you don't feel preassure about having to be with someone else.

Sometimes friends family or just society make preassure on you making you feel that its strictly necessary to be with someone to be happy.

That sometimes makes people fall into empty relationships or into relationships which have no passion or authenticity.

Also it makes people not take the necessary time to heal from past relationships and then they may make the same mistakes again and again.

So what is happening to you may be actually a good thing, giving you the oportunity to heal for real and to be very happy with someone when the time comes.

I think its very normal that you have the need of being alone for some time or the wish of wanting to be with him again.

If you loved for real and if the relationship was intense it is so normal. Don't freak out thinking that means this pain will last forever. I think what happen to you its natural and doesnt mean pain will last forever.

So don't think you have to be with someone else. Just live your life as you feel like, whatever people say.

Sometimes we have rules in society which are actually very unnatural for the soul. Like changing your couple so quickly or going from one relationship to another in just some months.

I feel its more natural to actually take some time to heal, after a break up. Even if that means years.

After saying that I have to say I had same experience than you.
A very intense twin soul relationship. Huge passion. I thought I was truly gonna spend my life with him. But it finished.

And I can tell you the pain it does go away!
Not easily but it definetely goes away.

Listen, you will find a lot of pessimistic people who are a bit bitter in their lifes telling you you will never move on from this.

Sometimes people dont wanna see other things which are failing in their lifes and they blame it on that relationship which couldnt be.
And they wanna think its impossible to move on, for everybody.

But its not.

The way I moved on its first of all going to a good therapy. And finding out what happened in the relationship. Why it failed.

Then I saw there was a lot of unhealthy things there and I saw I wasnt actually so happy.
I couldnt realize about it before because I was too blint by love and I idealized the whole thing too much.

I also saw that throught that relationship I was hidding myself from other problems and insicurities. Using it to cover everything bad in my life.

So I tried to solve my insicurities and my other problems in life, and as much as I was feeling good with myself and with my own life, as less as I was feeling I needed him.

Something was naturally getting deattached from him, while I was healing other things inside of me.

And let me tell you a secret about guys.
When your energy somehow gets deattached from them even if you dont have any contact with them, but if you all of a sudden stop thinking about them, they notice it.
And they somehow come back to you.

I saw that in my friends lifes, hundred times.

When she forgets the guy, even if they werent speaking for so long ... that guy contacts her for no reason.
What a coincidence!

It always happen because the other person notice that change of energy in you.

Believe me! We are conmected throught much powerfull forces than internet and cellphones.

So that happened to me. My ex came back when I was actually fine without him. The huge big love of my life. And I was so shocked to realize I didnt see.myself with him anymore.

Something changed in me by facing my insicurities and problems in life. And he didnt fit with me anymore.

Maybe some atraction was left, but not any kind of huge romantic love.

And for my surprise... I truly felt like being with someone else. Having just very good wishes for my ex, but actually feeling like starting something new and better with another person.

And believe me, in the past I thought that was as impossible as seeing a flying cow on the street.

I wouldnt have believed that at all if someone would have told me before.

So my dear, don't lose hope. Take an strong decision to do something to move on. Remember why did you break up. Remember that if you arent with him its because something wasnt good in the relationship.

See which pains inside of you caused that, and face that pains. Face that insicurities or that little ' traumas' we all have inside.

Follow the dreams you never dared to follow, see and heal the wounds you may have in your selfsteem, etc.

And you will see that you wont miss him as much as before.

Also remember that if you have to be with someone to be happy, you will. Destiny will bring him back if it have to be.

But even if he is actually your twin soul, try to concentrate on yourself now because you will never be fully happy with him or with anyone if you feel you cant live without them.

Try to find happiness in life by yourself, and the best person for you will come naturally even if its that same guy you are suffering for.

And never believe you cant move on from something. Life is here to teach us how to be happy to teach us about love. Everything is to learn but nothing is to make us unhappy forever. Nothing.

The purpose of life is good. And its about happiness. And you will always find it if you truly believe in it. Don't lose faith please.
This bad time will for sure pass. Even if it take years. It will!

Took 5 years for me and now I am happily with someone else.

And you will find yourself being way happier than before and having learnt a lot.

Big hugg for you!

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